A Single Voice

Monologue by a Managawd

scientists hate God
statistics lie
journalists fabricate
experts are sly
evil agendas
hide everywhere
(check in your sofa;
best to beware)
can’t trust the pundits
unplug the phone
hear only my voice
and my voice alone

34 thoughts on “A Single Voice”

  1. I’ve found coins, remotes, phones, and various small toys in my upholstered furniture, but I’ve never found an evil agenda.

    Maybe I have but I just didn’t recognize it due to KoolAid-induced blindness.

    1. the evil agenda hides inside the remote, and the dastardly box of sin it allows you to feel like you are in control of…just FYI

    2. I’ve found evidence of my DOG’S evil agenda under the couch cushions – his intention apparently is to chew holes in all the socks and underwear he can get out of the bathroom hamper then hide the evidence in the couch.

      1. LOL! I can relate. My dog hides bits of dog biscuit under the sofa cushions, then retrieves them later. She ignores the biscuits I’ve just put out for her…she prefers to dig for the little bits and pieces under and between the cushions. I think it’s the terrier in her. (She’s a mix of many breeds, all of which apparently love to dig.)

    3. I actually found a dead mouse in my old sofa once, maybe it died from nibbling on the Evil Agenda? 🙂

      1. I found a dead rat in my mother-in-law’s heating duct the other day.
        If its evil aganda was to make the house smell horrible, it accomplished it wonderfully.

      1. I actually saw that movie for the first time (in 1999) in the basement of a fundy church. Long story.

  2. If by “Managawd” you mean “Cult Leader”, this is spot on. Saw a documentary regarding Jim Jones, and it is scarey how similar it is to some of the experiences I read about.

  3. How many of you have heard your MOG say “you follow me and I’ll follow Jesus”? I heard this many times growing up. What a sick perversion of Paul’s teaching! It was only after leaving Fundydom that I realized that Paul’s admonition was to follow HIS EXAMPLE of how he (Paul) followed Christ…not to follow himself. The fundy MOG cannot bear that teaching.

    1. I think you’re right. As far as I can remember, Paul told people to follow Jesus, not to follow Paul.

      1. In fact, didn’t he say just the opposite? He chided those who said, “I am of Paul” or “I am of Apollos.”

    2. I’ve heard that. I’ve also heard the strange (weird, perverted?) teaching that the Bible was given for the preacher to guide the people (taking “that the man of God…” from II Tim a bit too literally.

      …and when he is reminded that we are all priests before God, he fires back that we (I) am rebelling just like Korah, who claimed to be equally holy with Moses.

      I’m tired of hearing the comparisons between Moses and the pastor; this is not Israel in the wilderness – it’s (supposed to be) a New Testament Church!

  4. The up-to-date fundy MOG must include a rant against the internet:

    Facebook is evil,
    And blogs are vile.
    Instead just come listen
    To me for a while.

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