Holy Relics

If you sign up now for the The Old-Time Religion Conference you can get none other than a copy Jack Hyles’ ordination certificate! (A double portion of Jack’s spirit not necessarily included.)

I especially like the bit in their advertising on the website that says “If you call yourself a true fundamentalist, this is where you will want to be.” Who could turn that down?

Thanks to Chuck and Marie for both passing news of this along.

182 thoughts on “Holy Relics”

  1. I grew up in the area where Jack Hyles’ church was, and my parents attended for years before I was born. My mother used to teach 6th grade in Jack Hyles’ Christian school. Oh, the stories she tells. When he was first accused of adultery, the principle of the school called a meeting and told the teachers,”I don’t think Dr. Hyles did this, but even if he did, I’m not taking MY family out of this ministry, because those people who’ve left our church over this, give ’em 3 months, and I promise you the women will be wearing pants!”
    After Jack died, the children at the school were taught to venerate him. On his birthday every year, they threw a party for him at the elementary and high school. Every 7 minutes after each hour, they would leave their classrooms for a mini-celebration. I don’t know the significance of choosing the number 7, but this is what I’ve been told from actual students who attended at the time. Also, during my mom’s career there in the 80’s, children who won the candy sale were taken on a trip to go visit a statue of Jack Hyles as a reward. I believe it’s in Texas. You can’t make this stuff up.

    1. Incredible! Women wearing pants is the absolute worst a fundy can imagine! Better to stay in a ministry where the pastor is an adulterer than leaving and possibly having some women wearing pants. Wearing pants is worse than being an adulterer. Right… 🙄

      So they threw birthday parties for Jack even after he died? And it was a REWARD to take kids to visit his statue? Why so they could pray to it? And they accuse Catholics of worshipping idols!

      This whole thing makes me so sick and disgusted! 👿

    2. “… those people who’ve left our church over this, give ‘em 3 months, and I promise you the women will be wearing pants!”

      That has to be the least-scary scare story I’ve ever heard. 😕

      1. Take it another way, and “WILL wearing pants” almost sounds like a good thing, like an ad for LL Bean khakis or the like. 😀

  2. A real, gen-u-wine copy of THE Jack Hyles Ordination Certificate?! If only I weren’t a lowly female that I might obtain some of the power that no doubt flows from this great relic of the faith! *Darn*

  3. yeah, this business meeting marked the finalization of my mom’s decision to leave the Hyles cult as soon as I was born-so I, thankfully, never experienced it.
    My mom works in a government office in the same town (Hammond) now, and her former students come in from time to time and see her. To this day she has never, not once, worn pants to the office. It’s not that she doesn’t believe in pants, but in an odd way, it’s a way of preserving her dignity. She doesn’t want to play into their stereotypes of what a defector looks like.
    The odd thing is that my mom had taught 6th grade for years at the Academy at PCC. She actually came to teach for Hyles because she was disgusted by the direction PCC was going (out of the frying pan into the fire, in retrospect). By the way, PCC’s elementary school readers are still, to my knowledge, currently printing stories which my mom wrote, for which she has never received a penny of royalties. They commissioned her to write them while she was teaching there, and then, after she submitted them, she was told that she wouldn’t be paid. It was all in the line of duty.
    I remember the night Hyles died-it was the same night I had my appendix taken out. We were in the same hospital, in fact-I was 10 at the time. I still remember the odd play of emotions on my mom’s face as she told me that Jack had died-and they were’nt all negative emotions. I didn’t understand it then, but now I think I do.

  4. It really is eerily similiar to Roman Catholic idol /relic worship in direct opposition to the 1st and 2nd commandments.

  5. For the record, Pastor Tom Neal’s son, Greg Neal, was caught on video tape setting up cameras in the woman’s baptistery so that he could fill ladies changing clothes. It was caught on tape, covered up by the Pastor, and later brought to court. Greg Neal would have had the book thrown at him too because the evidence was overwhelming except for the fact that the statute of limitations had expired. To then honor this perverted sex offender, the church votes him in as co-pastor and someone gives him a doctorate.

    And now Shelton Smith and the entire Hyles worshiping gang is coming to their church to hold a conference and give out copies of Jack’s ordination certificate? And Dr. Greg Neal is preaching for the conference?

    Does anyone else see something terribly wrong with this?!?

    I hate to meddle, but Darrell, in light of your previous work revealing some of the dangerous errors in fundamentalism involving shameless cover-ups of sexual predators, I really think this issue needs some additional light thrown onto it.

    I mean, come on, Bro. Cloud is ahead of you on this one http://www.wayoflife.org/wayoflife/

    1. Is the womens baptistry taping incident separate from the taping of the college women in Greg Neal’s office?

      1. Thanks for the link Big Gary, I will check it out. I think August predates my discover of StuffFundiesLike… that may explain it.

  6. I could never be part of a Hyle’s type ministry but for the life of me I just don’t understand you folks. You mock these people for their unwillingness to confront blatant sin in their leaders, but completely idolize your leader who is no less than a Monster! John Calvin KIlled those who disagreed with him, KILLED!!!! Burned at the stake using “Green” wood at his own request so his detractors DIED SLOWLY!! Oh My Goodness……where are your heads!!!??? John Calvin had others drawn and quartered…..four horses…each tied to a limb….then each sent in different directions with the limbs of that one who Dared disagree with John. And still others locked away in prison …….the founder of your religious philosophy (reformed bap,presb,evang free or whatever) John Calvin, was no less than a Murderous Powerhungry Meglomaniac. You ought to be ashamed of yourself(blog man,and responders) for attacking ( in the spirit of Calvin) these poor misguided folks who being so grateful for what was done in their lives, fell into the pit of man following. You ought to be saddened by this,Mabey even crying in prayer before the Throne of Grace, not THIS. Straining at a gnat (fundy slip ups) and Swollowing a Camel (the worship of an unrepentant murderous Cruel Tyrant) My Goodness!! DANTE DICAMILLO. Glenmoore Pa

    1. Who are you talking to?
      I’m not a Calvinist.
      And even Calvinists (the ones I know) don’t worship John Calvin.

    2. You seem to have misinterpreted the commentary on this website. Don’t feel bad, you’re not the first.

    3. May I suggest you take your meds and return in an hour or so? I love a random, out of the blue, rant as much as the next person but it helps if there is a hint of context.

    4. I don’t know if there are Calvinists on this site but I am not one. I do know this history of Calvin. It’s very bad indeed! 😡 😥 👿

    5. Um, I would like to see your evidence for this? Calvin held no political power…and by all accounts, he was really unpopular in Geneva, so it’s doubtful that he would have been elected to office. When Servetus (the Unitarian who taught Jesus was not the son of God…and had been already sentenced by the Catholics, so fleeing the reformers in Geneva wouldn’t have helped him) was burned (I’m not sure where you got the other stuff), Calvin did not even have citizenship in that Swiss Canton. Now Ulrich Zwingli on the other hand, he was a politician, who did not support the anabaptists, and was on the city council when Felix Manz was drowned (state punishment). Why is it that the fundies never mention Zwingli in their rants? 😕

  7. The cry of every hyper Calvinist ……. ” if you criticize me….you simply misunderstand me” the blatant dishonesty of your type is embarrassing !!! A pastor….Really !!?? 😥

  8. Who could pass up the chance to get a genuine Xerox copy of Jack Hyles’ ordination certificate? I mean just think how important every pastor will be if he has that hanging on his wall…Oh my….I gotta get one….maybe if I can get two I will even have more power. 😈 😈 😈 😈

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