“Good Neighbors” A Fundamentalist Parable

A man on his way from Atlanta to Greenville was robbed and severely beaten at a rest area. The thieves even stole his clothes and left him for dead lying on the sidewalk and drove off in his car.

As it happened, a fundamentalist pastor happened by that way and saw the man but he thought there was a good chance the man was dead anyway and the pastor was on his way to go soulwinning so he really couldn’t spare the time. Instead, he carefully stepped around the guy making sure not to get his wingtip shoes bloody and hurried away — muttering about how if  conservatives were in charge of the government this sort of crime wouldn’t happen nearly so much.

A few moments later, a fundamentalist deacon passed by the same way but he observed that the man was immodestly clad and wondered how it might affect a Baptist deacon’s testimony if someone saw him near the wounded man and assumed it was the appearance of evil. So he too carefully stepped around the wounded man, hiking up his khaki pant legs to avoid the gore and went on his way.

But then along came an atheist, lesbian Democrat who taught Women’s Studies at the local community college and drove a Prius. And she saw the man and took pity on his plight. She called him an ambulance and sat with the wounded man and held his bruised hand until the paramedics came. Then she followed him to the hospital and handed them her Visa card and said “Whatever he owes on his bills you can charge it to me. And if he needs anything here is my cell phone number just give me a call.”

Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?

Go and do likewise.

490 thoughts on ““Good Neighbors” A Fundamentalist Parable”

  1. These responses are so great and so revealing. Thanks to everybody for sharing. I haven’t gotten to the bottom of the responses yet, but wanted to thank SHOES for that oh so funny good laugh at, the sick-minded kind of crazy inhumane logic of fundy land freeks who are so sadly caught up in this bizarre sub culture and the blind pastors they gullibly follow. By the way, to all those who have left fundy land for greener pastures of truer christanity, I am so happy for you. You were brave. It takes real courage and honesty to answer God’s loving but firm ‘wake up call’! To get ouy of the group and get the group out of you. And you guys responded. Going on a web site like this and talking about it, helps so many people. So never stop sharing. NEVER STOP TELLING THE TRUTH! I agree with the observation that many fundies refer to Jesus as Christ or Lord, but not very often as Jesus. Interesting observation. Could it possibly be because, secretly, they do not really love Him, but that they really only love their controlling religion and all the power they use to make people do, say, and act in whatever way they want and demand them to, as they ‘guide them’??? as religious robots???!!!!? Could it be that it is the religious power and psuedo self-appointed sense of high and mighty authority that they think they have, that, the lure and attraction of the power, that they love to wield over people, they can control with fear and guilt, and provoke to anger and frustration, as they pontificate over people’s emotions like they do,is what they’re REALLY IN LOVE WITH? POWER,POWER, and MORE POWER? There are no denominations in Heaven. And God isn’t a fundamentalist! Aren’t you glad. keep on keeping on. Barbara Quinn.

  2. Is it just me or do the fundies posting replies on this thread love Walls of Text? If you actually want people to read, use the Return key on occasion, give us some breathing room.

    Could this be a subtly ironic take on how there’s no space to think in fundamentalism?

    1. There should be a website called “Stuff Anti-fundys Like” and conspiracy theories could definitely be on there. Failing to use the Return key equals no room for thinking in fundamentalism. I don’t think even Spurgeon could have come up with that reach and he was a master at spiritualizing things.

      1. “Anti-fundy.” Now, forgive me, my head’s a little fuzzy from the cold meds, but wasn’t someone else throwing this term around recently? I just can’t remember! Agh! Can someone help me out here?

  3. And the conspiracies continue. Is PlankEye that other nut Moat and Beam or is he the hated Jonathan? Are they all one in the same? And where do Rose, Mark Thomas, and Darrell fit into this picture? Mark Thomas does show up on a lot of PlankEye’s and Jonathan’s comments. Connection?

    Or is it just easy to figure out that if someone is against fundys, they could easily be labeled “anti-fundy”? Kind of like the Federalists and the anti-Federalists?

    1. Well, thanks for flushing any last remains of doubt I had down the toilet.

      And fwiw, I think the post above this one was the first time I commented on a PlankEye post. But I could be wrong.

  4. I heard a very sad story this week. My sister had a friend. The friend happened to be a lesbian. It never mattered to my sister, because this woman was a good friend who could be depended on to reach out to my sis any time of the day.

    At my mom’s funeral last year, this woman was the only friend of my sister’s who showed up – and she brought her mother because her mother was also my sister’s friend.

    During the luncheon, our Anglican priest sat down to talk to them, and he brought up the subject of why we were sharing a church building with Pentecostals. He went on at length about how he had left the Episcopal Church and why, leaning heavily on the ordained homosexuals in the denomination.

    By the time my sister walked by, heard the conversation, and found and sent a rescue team, it was too late. After our mother’s funeral, this friend never spoke to my sister again.

    True story. Sad sister. Very sad. And, I am also sad.

  5. You have done something incredible here. You have humanized the very people fundyism has tried so hard to dehumanize. Sadly, because fundies are so terrified of people who are different from them, few will ever have the opportunity to discover that this is true. Great post.

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