Friday Challenge: Truth in Nomenclature
Today’s Friday challenge is a fairly simple one. Think about some fundy church you have known and give it a name that better reflects that congregation’s realities.
And…go.
Posted by Darrell
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We-say-we-are-not-really-like-THOSE-legalist-cult-like-Baptist-IFB-churches-but-we-are-Baptist Church.
(Remember, if it looks like a duck , walks like a duck, dresses like a duck and quacks like a duck-ITS A DUCK.)
Yes!! Yes!! A thousand times yes!!!
Beloved, do you have any idea how much I love your website?
The Women Understand Their Place Baptist Church
The We Never Met a Logical Fallacy that We Didn’t Use Baptist Church
The We Didn’t Descend from Monkeys Baptist Church
The Jesus Juke Baptist Church
The We Have a Creationist Theme Park Baptist Church
(It separated from the We Didn’t Descend from Monkeys Baptist Church for being too liberal.)
The We Hate the Gubmint Baptist Church
The Sons of the Confederacy Baptist Church
The We Have a 2×4 in Our Eye Baptist Church
The Taxes are Theft Baptist Church
The We Win the Apocalypse Baptist Church
The We Cast Out Demons in Jesus’ Name but Didn’t Feed the Poor Baptist Church
Our Pastor of the Perpetual Altar Call Baptist Church
In Bob Jones University We Trust, Independent Fundamentalist Church.
Jones Baptist Church
“Straight, White, Right and love to fight”
Jim Bob’s Church of the Authorized Version.
1611 – the only way to heaven
Laodicea Mission Full Gospel Baptist Chuch
“We are the Way, the Truth and the Life”
Here goes: after I fled a cult the first church I found was CBA-Conservative Baptist. I discovered grace there. This was 1976. I was never told how to dress. I played my electric guitar in church. My wild-haired friend was welcomed lovingly by blue-haired old ladies. It was a place of nurture, love, grace and truth. Normal Baptists– which made them abnormal, I guess!
I was just told by an elderly gent that today was his last Sunday at our church. He doesn’t like the music – no surprise there – but he also said we didn’t have a sanctuary anymore.
I’m glad the blue-haired old ladies welcomed your friend. I never saw this guy reach out to anyone.
Believe me, this is normal. All churches are not Fundy (in fact, most are not). I’ve seen blue-haired old people, crew-cut Marines, and others you wouldn’t expect, lovingly welcome long-haired hippies, tattooed “alternative” types, hoboes, people of every race and nationality (including some undocumented immigrants), single mothers with misbehaving kids, and lots of other “ousider” folks to their churches. I don’t know if that happens in the majority of churches, but it’s much more common than many people suppose.
“Outsider,” I mean, not “ousider.” Although they probably welcome ousiders, too, whatever they are.
Arbeit Macht Frei(Work Liberates) Baptist Church
(The sign over the gate entering Auschwitz.)
Wow, Sarah and Bassenco, you have outdone yourselves!
I Did Your Wife (and Yours and Yours and Yours) But I’m Still the Man of God Baptist Church
The We May Be Under Grace But Still Follow the Law Baptist Church
brilliant
The “in the woods next to a prison and mental ward” church.
KJV 1611 Baptist Church (Even though we don’t actually use the 1611 and probably wouldn’t be able to read it if we saw it)
Every time I see/hear a church claim they use the KJV 1611, I have to groan. I actually tried to explain it to one pastor and even showed him a copy of a 1611, but he just didn’t seem to get it. Though he was very gracious about it. He didn’t get angry that a woman in the church dared to correct him!
The (x^n)th Baptist Church, More Reformed, Holier, and Separated than the (x…x^(n-1)th) Baptist Churches Who Have All Compromised With The World.
Oops…that should be (1…((x^n)-1)th) Baptist Churches…should not do this on three hours’ sleep.