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Titus 2:3-6 (Especially The Parts About Women)

David Grice riffs on some familiar themes with his own unique panache…


Posted by Darrell

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45 Comments.

  1. This goofy guy wouldn’t know sound doctrine if it bit him in his fat butt.
    “Don’t be a bitter old bag.”: That’s priceless…

  2. When I saw this in my RSS feed, and looked at it, and saw the name David Grice, I instantly got excited! Sadly, he’s not funny this time around. Just plain ignorant in his exegesis of the passage. Geez…And quite sexist at the same time.

  3. I somehow made it to the end and was rewarded by hearing about the evils of carpal-tunnel surgery. “That just ain’t right.”

  4. Christopher Shaw

    I wish our mall had a prostitutes r us.

  5. If I was a gambler, I would bet the following to be true:

    His boys play video games.
    His daughter wears tighter clothes than his wife did when she was young.
    He farms out his kids’ spirituality to his “ministry,” rather than an actual home relationship.
    His wife will (at least inwardly) be a bitter old bag because he has wasted her life.
    OR
    He is not married and has no children.

  6. “Not given over to a bunch of other things, either.” Well, this guy is just really plinking the sins one by one, huh? That should cover just about any new “sin” du jour the pastor makes up.

  7. And here we go again with the “men can’t help themselves when you dress improperly.” Because men are never responsible for their own actions.

  8. “Gawd Bless curves on ladies”- I never thought I would hear that from a pulpit.

    An immodest girl can drive 15 guys to Satan

    Today we need to teach the guys to fend of the girls- What planet is he living on?

    I know what a vacuum cleaner and an iron

    Obedient to their own husbands not the guy across the street?

    kids are having thumb surgery because of to many video games?

  9. Yes!!! No sermon is complete without some good, old-fashioned video game bashing!

  10. We’ve got some guys who are goofy…you mean like having badly scripted sword fights and putting on voices…and thinking that the Wizard of Oz is an attack on Christianity?

    Prostitutes R Us was a little funny :)

    By the way, I don’t need to be taught to love my husband or kids.

  11. Trapped Pentecostal

    Has this guy been posted on this site numerous times, or am I just confused because all fundy preachers just look exactly the same? It’s so hard to tell all of these fat, bald, sweaty, white guys in suits apart…

  12. I love how he just bursts into shouting out of nowhere.

    This guy didn’t seem all that bad, though. Seen so much worse.

  13. Well, you cain’t argue with his “unction”.

  14. Why is it always focused on the women? Man he just keeps going on and on about what they shouldn’t do, and then lets the men off the hook. Craziness.

  15. @Mark He doesn’t completely let the men off the hook. He does say that they need to be healthy and fit . . . you know, like him.

  16. Personally, I’d like to take a quick look at this young lady who can lead 15 boys to Satan. She should try out for America’s Next Top Model!

    @Bob–I was wondering about his sudden outburst of hollering too! I think somebody behind him goosed him while he was speaking–probably one of those bitter old bags!

  17. Trapped Pentecostal

    @Eric,

    Don’t let his looks fool you. I’m sure that’s all muscle. He even has very large, impressive cheek and chin muscles.

  18. DOUBLE-chin muscles. Those require some serious chewing to get that large and defined. I’m guessing he chews things way more than three times a day.

  19. He’s a living, breathing, preaching parody.

  20. It is amazing that a positive set of verses can be twisted into something so negative. This is just another “beat on ya sinners” sermon. Most of his explainations are slamming the negative, rather than encouraging the positive. The Bible presents things in a much more positive manner. This type of preaching promotes a “I’m better than those around me ’cause I don’t do those things” mentality among fundies.

  21. To teach the younger women? I can teach martial arts!
    That’ll sober you right up!

    Boy it sure is ironic to have him say “shame on you” for ignorance….

    Sign me,
    Old Bitter Woman

  22. Whoa! Slow down buddy. Prostitutes R Us is a fine establishment!

  23. This guy really needs to come down and visit us on Planet Earth.

  24. @ A.P. LOL! I assume you know this because you’re the owner of “loose” leafs?

  25. It’s a duster, learn how to use it.

    Sugar, you let me know when that cast come off your arm, since obviously you can’t lift a finger to help. If I had to wait on your sloppy fat ass I’d be a bitter old bag, too.

    I’ll just skip how women tempt men. Right. How do I know men wrote the book? Because they got themselves off the hook in Genesis and gave them a lifetime supply of blaming all the Eves.

  26. Typically recipe for fundy preaching…
    read a passage of scripture then twists it around to mean something it never intending to be showing your pure ignorance of the text
    add a pinch of ones own opinion and act as if the Holy Spirit lead you to say that
    Yell when it seems no one is stroking your ego as much as you’d like
    demand a few amens for good measure
    then go off on women on how they are ruining soceity by shopping at prostitutes r us

  27. Actually, here is the link

    http://www.biblefortoday.org/PDF/Lordship_Salvation.pdf

    The above quote is from page 80-81 of the pdf. It’s more an expose against the unbiblical methods that IFB’s employ in order to get numbers, rather than “Lordship Salvation”. It’s an interesting read, and is good to see an IFB critique the errors of his own.

  28. I think he needs to buy shirts with bigger necks. . . . . . or work out.

  29. Somehow I ended up posting the above in the wrong thread… whoops.

  30. While I would never call you a MORON.. a walking talking eating OXYMORON?.. yes.

  31. Ooops only half of what I meant to post actually went through….

    the above post was supposed to say,

    If I were in this man’s congregation, I would remind him,

    I am concerned you sometimes can’t tell RIGHT from WRONG!!

    “While I would never call you a MORON..a walking talking, EATING OXYMORON?…yes.

  32. He can bite my medicated behind

  33. Ok, I have to ask…..which is worse, the fact I take meds or the fact that without them I am fully incapable of pulling myself out of bed (to keep the house spotless and orderly- my only task other than popping out babies and being a servant to my husband) and unable toeven give a flying rat’s hindquarters abut anything?

  34. tuh tuh tuh

  35. Hm, I’d rather be married to a guy given to wine and meds than one given to much pizza and much hanging out at Prostitutes R Us ogling young women’s things falling out all over the place.

  36. unbelievable.

  37. What’s funny about this is I knew my husband in high school (Christian high school) and I just showed him this, especially about the part about the way the girls dressing causing the guys to stray.

    He said, “Honey, you were VERY modest and ladylike in high school, but that still didn’t keep my hormonal, teenage self from thinking about getting at ya”… ha ha

    He said, “You could have wore a potato sack down to your ankles and I’d be thinking about getting up under that potato sack”…. HA HA HA HA.

    He said modesty had nothing to do with his mind being straight… or not. ;op

  38. Their statement of faith, where it pertains to the Scriptures. http://www.lighthouse-baptist.webs.com/

    THE SCRIPTURES

    We believe the King James Bible (Hebrews 4:12a with Ecclesiastes 8:4 with
    Romans 13:1 and Revelation 17:14, Mark 3:14,17-18, Romans 3:1-2 with Matthew 13:55
    and James 1:1) is the inspired, infallible word of God providentially
    preserved and translated without error in the English language
    (Psalms 12:6-7, 119:160, Colossians 1:18, 1 John 4:2, Acts 24:14)
    to be our self-sufficient final authority in all matters of faith and practice
    (2 Timothy 3:16, Psalms 138:2, Colossians 2:8, Matthew 15:1-14, Romans 3:4, Acts 17:11)
    and hence, no part of it can be improved upon (Exodus 20:25), “corrected” (Genesis 3:1, Mark 4:15, Proverbs 24:21), or conclusively defined (Genesis 40:8, 1 Corinthians 2:13)
    with supposed knowledge of Hebrew and Greek. (Acts 2:6, Matthew 1:23, Mark 5:41,
    15:34, Mark 15:22 with John 19:17, John 1:38,41-42, 9:7, Acts 4:36, Hebrews 7:1-2)

    We believe that all the English versions produced after the KJV are corrupt
    (2 Corinthians 2:17), lifeless (1 Peter 1:23) perversions of the word of God
    (Jeremiah 23:28-36, Proverbs 30:5-6, Revelation 22:18-19, 1 Timothy 4:1, Mark 4:15, Matthew 7:15-18, Romans 1:25) that teach heresies (2 Peter 2:1, Romans 16:17),
    weaken doctrine (Philippians 3:1, 2 Timothy 3:16), distort and hide the gospel
    (Galatians 1:6-9, 2 Corinthians 11:3-4, 2 Timothy 3:15), weaken Christians’ faith
    (1 John 5:13), hinder soul-winning (Titus 1:9, James 1:21, Romans 10:17, Acts 18:28),
    cause confusion (Proverbs 20:10, Acts 19:32, James 1:8), cause apathy (Mark 1:22,
    1 Timothy 4:2, Hebrews 4:12), weaken the church (1 Corinthians 1:10, Matthew 6:24,
    Mark 12:24, Romans 15:4), make Christians vulnerable (Ephesians 6:13,17,
    Luke 4:8, 2 Corinthians 2:11, Psalms 11:3, 119:10-11,105, Acts 17:11),
    hinder spiritual growth (Acts 20:32, Psalms 119:9, 2 Timothy 2:15,
    3:16-17, 1 John 2:1), insult God (1 Thessalonians 2:13, Titus 1:2), and
    distort God’s character. (Malachi 3:6, 1 Corinthians 14:33, 2 Corinthians 11:4)

    • So many Scripture references. So many taken out of context.

      • Matthew Beitel

        “In the second place, the Authorized Version has ceased to be a good (that is, clear) translation. It is no longer modern English: the meanings of words have changed. The same antique glamour which has made it (in the superficial sense) so “beautiful,” so “sacred,” so “comforting,” and so “inspiring,” has also made it in many places unintelligible. Thus where St. Paul says “I know nothing against myself,” it translates “I know nothing by myself.” That was a good translation (though even then rather old-fashioned) in the sixteenth century: to the modern reader it means either nothing, or something quite different from what St. Paul said. The truth is that if we are to have translation at all we must have periodical retranslation. There is no such thing as translating a book into another language once for all, for a language is a changing thing. If your son is to have clothes it is no good buying him a suit once for all: he will grow out of it and have to be reclothed.” — C.S. Lewis

        And I couldn’t say it better myself. Thank you, Mr. Lewis, you didn’t know it then but this is what needs to be said to these foolish, ignorant, asinine people like David Grice!

  39. Ever notice how no one has more convictions of how women should act, dress, and think then fundamentalist MEN? I guess its always easier to preach about something that you think you don’t have to apply to yourself.

    Oh, and pastor, its really REALLY not a good idea to discourage people from taking their medication. Especially the elderly, unless you really want them to die.

  40. Oh but the Lord led him to say that! Don’t blame the older people, blame the doctors who prescribe that stuff.

    It’s about time he got himself on a diet. How can anyone listen to him when he weighs probably close to 300 lbs? He can stand up there and pass judgment on the women and say things about them being hags and bags but look at him! The pot calling the kettle black! Can anyone say HYPOCRITE??? :evil:

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