Skipping Sex Ed….for married people

Because everyone knows the less you know about what you’re doing the better it is.

In case anybody is unfamiliar with the books he’s preaching against, Tim Lahaye’s book The Act of Marriage has historically been pretty much the one and only sex ed book for fundy married couples. It basically contains a few pages of clinical descriptions and some confusing diagrams followed by 987 pages of instructions about stuff you shouldn’t ever do.

If that’s too much information, one has to wonder what kind of education this preacher would find acceptable. Perhaps this set of LPs??

37 thoughts on “Skipping Sex Ed….for married people”

  1. “If I told you one tenth.” LOL great way to slip in a reference to giving.

    That was a beautiful exegesis of the text. What? There wasn’t a text? Ranting and raving for 10 minutes with no Scriptural support, getting and encouraging amens all along the way. Boy, I don’t miss this style of “preaching” at all. Just a bluster of opinionated self centered speech from someone who is looking to get his ego fed.

  2. Lord, this is like a greatest hits–or maybe worst of the worst. Good find.

    I’m always a little floored by some of the specifics these guys cite as examples of America’s damnable decline–the NIV, rock music, the Church of Christ, Heather Has Two Mommies, the lottery, Tim LaHaye’s sex advice, Hollywood, “passive, weak-kneed baptists,” henpecked men, stay-at-home dads, and “watered-down Christianity,” which apparently has no distinguising characteristics except its antagonism toward “old time fundamentalism.”

    Speaking of which, I’m really sick of that phrase. “Old time,” in that context, still means “less than a century old.” Fundies have no historical sense whatsoever.

  3. fwiw, at my alma mater, Lahaye’s book was locked up in the “professional collection” and only available to select staff members. I guess it was just too hot to handle for the rest of us.

  4. There needs to be a scientific law summarizing IFB preaching.
    “No matter what IFB preachers initially preach against, they will always find a way to include homsexuality, evolution, Hollywood, watered-down Christianity, and baggy pants.”

  5. But I almost agree with him. If your definition of a healthy sex life with your spouse is missionary position, man on top, you really don’t need a book to explain that.

  6. “It ain’t normal for two men to kiss each other.” – 5:52

    Rom 16:16, I Cor 16:20, II Cor 13:12, I Thes 5:26 (Notice, listed twice to the “pervert” church in Corinth.)

    “If you believe the Bible, you gotta agree with that.” – 8:33

    “But bless God, we ought not look for ways to violate the Bible.” – 8:43

    Hmm, while I in no way wish to condone homosexual behavior, and I don’t follow the scripture to this detailed of a letter, I figure if we are going to be alarmist and jump to conclusions, this just fits right in line with that type of logic.

  7. If your definition of a healthy sex life with your spouse is missionary position, man on top, you really don’t need a book to explain that.

    You’d be surprised.

  8. 1. Does he find the Song of Solomon perverted? (Oh wait, he’d probably say “the Song of Solomon is about the relationship between Christ and the church.”)
    2. I’ve never heard the word “perverted” or some variation of it so much in a sermon.
    3. Does this qualify as a sermon, seeing as I didn’t hear any Scripture in the few minutes of it I could tolerate listening to?
    4. I bet he read all those books he refers too. 😉

    On a more sober note: This crap is what contributes to rape and sexual abuse in Christian circles. I know of young women who were completely taken advantage of due to the fact that they had no sex ed., went off to college, and the rest is history. I know of girls who were sexually abused in their own families, and didn’t realize it was wrong because they were so isolated and no one told taught them about sex.

    1. Bull shit you do ! prove it I want to see testimony of this being a fact you don’t need an education in sex to know what’s right and wrong in the bed room sex isn’t complicated people complicate it

  9. From the LP:

    “Mother puts her spoon down and gets serious revealing the details of the “wonderful machinery growing inside of you” and how this machinery will “spring into action if God calls you to the married state.” The reason for the qualifier is not known, but perhaps Betty has a face for radio.”

    Bwahahahahaha!

  10. My favorite part in that piece was the suggestion that Fibber and Molly might come wandering through.

  11. I think I recognize some of those names on the LP page. Actually I should say the home page. Betty Bowers and Poppy Dixon or from Landover Baptist. Landover is a parody site run by an atheist.

  12. So, he rips apart teenagers for not having individual style – hmm, I wonder what he would say when Timmy steps in the next Sunday morning in a dress? He’s just thinking for himself!

    1. They just don’t see how hypocritical they are, all fundy kids at fundy school and fundy church are forced to dress alike let alone the adults, they have NO CHOICE! And to indicate that a guy that reads the NIV is likely to wear a dress, that is ridiculous. The man is pathetic and I bet his wife fakes them. Okay, I repent! 😛

  13. I think the best part was at the end when he said something along the lines of “why can’t they make up their own mind…. why follow what someone else tells them to do…. they should find their own way”. I think that is what the real message. Our relationship with our God is a personal one and a personal walk. Implying that it is a journey not a snap shot in time, forever to be frozen and never change.

  14. Wow. Like they started the video out with the word pornography. Boys and girls. Make sure you turn your speakers down first!

    Darrell. You should post more vids of this guy. He gives me a couple of laughs. (He seems to speak gibberish too…)

    “Holding an NIV Bible and wearing a dress”…alrighty then. As if that is likely to happen. (The dress part) Funny story. I remember our pastor telling us that the NIV was written by a pornographer…I’m doubting that’s legit, but it stuck for awhile. Hey who knows.

    Love is all ya need huh? Wow…

    And the whole “rock concert video” thing was just…wow. Yeah…wow.

    And I’m a teenager! (sorta still) And guess what! I dress how I want to! Imagine that…His “logic” (if you want to call it that) doesn’t even make basic common sense. Oh man…

    LP:
    “…God’s wonderful plan to make new little souls in his image”. Oh boy. Gotta love your euphemisms!

    Ok. I’m done rambling! 🙂

    1. Wow, I posted and then read yours Nate and we have very similar posts. Anyway, you reminded me of one last thing when he talked about the “whatever” weak or whatever Christians and he asked them what they were against. That is what IFB is all about being against everything, that is the only thing my x and I had in common when we got saved and joined a fundy church, then we were against the same things.

  15. RJW I had the same thoughts about Song of Solomon… Most fundamentalists will say things like “Jesus spoke more about Hell then He did about Heaven” or the number of times seperation, faith, sin or whatever is mentioned in the Bible, but the second you point out an entire book dedicated to the husband wife relationship… *sigh*

  16. How irritating is this guy. Not an ounce of exposition, just a bunch of hogwash about some book he never even read. Whats so wrong with learning more about the sexual act in marriage? Even my fundamentalist pastor recommened extensive learning about sex in marriage. Go figure.

  17. A good relationship has “almost nothing to do with the physical”???? How ignorant a statement is that???? I was taught that it was wrong to talk about sex and you shouldn’t ask any questions about it otherwise there was something wrong with you. My mom DID sit me down one time and explain the plain physiology of it, but she did it when I was so young I didn’t even really remember. Most of my sex ed came from talking about it with friends and science books we had in the house. Fortunately, I learned somehow learned about safe sex and was educated and prepared for my first time.

    This “don’t ask don’t tell” way of adressing sex is not only silly, but dangerous. How will teens know what safe sex is or what the difference is between “good” sex and rape?

  18. The guys who are the most worried about teaching on the “S” word that end’s in “X” are usually the biggest pervs themselves.

  19. I love that the dude even takes exception w/ the Sunday paper being available on Saturday night! “Doesn’t make any sense”!

  20. He’ll definitely be busted for a “wide stance” one day! When the video started it almost blew my eardrums out because I was wearing headphones! They will need a good Deaf Ministry soon. This guy is classic, begging for the amens, sweating like a … Anyway, major yuk o rama!

  21. It sounds as though this guy has a fascination with “perverts.” Hmmm………. :/

    I pity this man’s wife.

  22. I’m sad that this is a broken link. I need the edification this guy provides.

    1. I’m sure Scorpio can give you the blow by blow (as it were) whenever he shows back up.

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