“Second Sermons”

preacherSomewhere in a fundamentalist church a guest speaker is wrapping up his thunderous sermon. He swigs a last sip of water from the cup on the pulpit and invites the pastor back to the so he can “draw the net” with the invitation.

The pastor thanks the speaker grandly for his wonderful message and then says the fateful words “I just want to talk for a minute and add a few things to what our brother said.” An audible groan goes through the congregation because they know full well that at this point begins the phenomenon of the second sermon which could last any length of time regardless of how long the first sermon was. Fundamentalists preachers are not slaves to any man’s clock.

A variation on the second sermon may also come in the form of the closing prayer. Some pastors who have missed the chance to preach themselves in a service have been known to insert a full three points into the closing prayer complete with alliteration. Hopefully nobody was hoping to see the kickoff of a football game or beat the rush to the local buffet for lunch.

(many thanks to stan for the suggestion)

11 thoughts on ““Second Sermons””

  1. Is it me, or is this not a complete insult to the guest preacher? To me (and this has happened to me), the person is saying, You didn’t do a good enough job-I know exactly what they need to hear. To me also, the prayer sermon is the worst-God deserves better than for us to tell Him our message. (as if He didn’t hear it once already) 🙂

  2. What I love is when they feel the need to repeat everything just said, almost verbatim. Maybe they’re just bitter that they didn’t think of it first?

    Any work the Holy Spirit was doing is quenched because your feet have fallen asleep and you are trying to discreetly stomp in the carpeted floor without disrupting those around you.

    When the final “A-men” is sounded, you find you must sit down and pull off your slightly too tight Sunday heels and massage your feet so you can hobble out to the car. You could buy new shoes if you hadn’t just “given it all” the week before at the “Give It All” Sunday. . .

  3. My parents’ church once had a pastor that would say, “Sunday is the Lord’s day…” and everyone would dutifully resopnd, “ALL day.”

    We don’t keep an eye on the clock here–amen?? Amen! We’re not like those yello liver-bellied liberal preachers who are afraid their members will be mad at them if they preach one minute past 12:00!! Amen?? Amen.

    I hated the second sermon…

  4. This is a great one! What’s just as bad, is when a pastor goes to finish up his OWN sermon, and then preaches an entire 2nd sermon in his closing… thus doubling the speak-time!!

  5. I have just found this site recently and you guys hit the nail on the head!!! I was brought up in a Pentecostal Fundalmentalist Church and every thing I have read here so far brings back so many memories. I have always “hated” that closing prayer that just HAS to repeat the sermon we just heard. It was bad enough that it lasted 45 minutes or more then someone thinks that we didn’t get it!!

  6. perhaps a spin off this would be the proclamation of ‘one last point, and we’ll be done’ – 45 minutes later (which felt like 2 hours because you anticipated that in 5 minutes you’d be done), then he’s finally done…

  7. Or how about the review of last week’s sermon as an introduction? Followed by opening prayer. I wasn’t present for this but I have heard the stories: my dad, as song leader, listened to the sermon then selected an invitational hymn that was appropriate to the message. When the preacher got to his closing prayer before the invitation, Dad would slip up to the platform to be ready. Once, the preacher’s opening review went on for 45 minutes, then prayer. Dad went up to the platform during what he thought was the closing prayer. It wasn’t. Preacher was just getting warmed up. Poor Dad.

  8. I have to say missing a football kick-off is not what I would consider a great loss. I remember a saying in the Assemblies of God churches of my you that went like this, “We’ve got a starting and the Holy Ghost tells us when quittin’ time is.” If the Spirit really is moving then it is all worth the extra time.

  9. Oh, I totally agree! When the Spirit is moving, you can completely lose track of time, and you don’t even WANT to go home!!! Unfortunately, often there’s a forced manipulation by a speaker who WANTS the Spirit to move. But you can’t force the Spirit or manufacture a moving of the Spirit.

  10. It does seem really disrespectful to the one who preached the message. I’ve heard one pastor who does it with this territorial attitude. Like he had to assert his position in the church by getting his two cents in at EVERY service.

    Never understood the prayer-sermons, though. Prayer is supposed to be talking to God. God doesn’t need for you to preach at Him, or remind Him of what you just said. 🙄

  11. I would usually NEED to leave during such extended prayers/alter calls, and would do so, despite the *stinkeye* from our Pastor’s Pet, ahem, #1 Deacon. He tried to chide me, and I told him in no uncertain terms that if I didn’t heed my bladder’s advice, HE’D be mopping! 😳
    Perhaps heating the sanctuary for the ladies in skirts would help!
    Of course, the stuffed shirts would all get heat-stroke if the thermostat was set above 55°.

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