Leather Cover Wide-Margin King James Version Bibles

bibleA solider doesn’t just pick up any old weapon when going to war, neither does a fundamentalist pick up just any old Bible to fight the good fight. Some important considerations are required.

First of all the Bible must be large. It must be big enough to show that the bearer takes the Scripture seriously enough to risk a hernia when he totes it around. The Bible must be big enough so then when held aloft with one hand, the pages drape over to give thatt classic “This is My King James Bible” look.

The cover must also be leather to allow the holder to get that wonderful “THWACK” sound when he slaps his hand against the cover. This is especially important if preaching. “That’s not what this Bible right here says!!! THWACK! It says that women ought to be silent in the churches, amen? THWACK!”

Lastly, wide margins are a must. This is no sissy Bible. It must have space for notes, outlines, and autographs.

Let lesser Christians come to the battlefield with their pocket sized Bibles with cheap covers and tiny margins. The fundamentalist’s Bible will never be hidden away from view — nor carried without effort.

15 thoughts on “Leather Cover Wide-Margin King James Version Bibles”

  1. I use a Ryrie Study Bible. It’s margins are big. I had a Cambridge someone gave me but ended up giving it to my roomate at Hyles-Anderson

  2. Maybe the preacher carries the big Bible, but the student at the fundy Christian school learns to carry a small Bible. It makes it easier to follow the rule: the Bible shall always be the top book on your stack of school books. When your Bible is small, it’s a much more convenient top for the book pyramid. Anything to make it easier to follow all those rules. Am I trivilizing the Bible? No, just the rule.

  3. Alas, another “Proof” I WAS a fundie… my wide-margined, KJV, Cambridge in the handled zippered carry-all…..

    1. Isn’t it slightly ironic that the site is hosted by godaddy.com (a site that has commercials constantly railed on by fundies)? 😉

    2. You should check out some of those pages with the spelling of “allowed” (aloud)… Can’t anyone proofread??

  4. ???? i stumbled upon this page and i’m confused? why are we making fun of people who read the King James? I don’t mind it; after all it carried the church longer and stronger than anything this generation has. The problem is not what version you read…..the problem is that the “christian” is too busy watching worldly t.v. and playing video games or catching up on the facebook gossip to read anything.

    1. It’s not the KJV itself that anyone minds; it’s KJV onlyism and the weird other things that Darrell, and the others, are making fun of. I mean, why KJV only when the ESV is easier to understand? Why show off it IS KJV? Why carry BIG bibles? (Maybe the preacher needs new glasses?!) Why autographs? Why does the Bible need to be ON TOP of all other books? Why THWACK the Bible? (Isn’t it abusing the poor Bible when you THWACK it?!)

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