Random Post: Paramilitary Christianity

Unimaginative Sports Team Names

eaglesSomewhere back in the beginning of fundamentalism (about two-thousand years ago, to hear them tell it) there was evidently a law made that if a fundamentalist church runs a Christians school, and if that school has a sports team it must bear the name Eagles, Crusaders, Knights, Warriors, or Conquerors.

Female teams will bear the name of their male counterparts with the word “Lady” affixed to the front to indicate the femininity of the players.

And these team shall bear one of the following colors: red-and-white, green-and-white, blue-and-white, or red-and-black. So shall it be without end, yea verily. So let it be written, so let it be done.


Posted by Darrell

11 comments...What do you think?

  1. Posted by Charlie 11th December, 2008 at 3:28 am

    We must have not been true fundies. We were the Defenders … and our colors were crimson (for the blood that set me free) and gold (for my home in Heaven eternally).

  2. Posted by Laura 12th December, 2008 at 10:49 pm

    hmmm. . . i don’t think the “Lady” thing is a fundy thing. . . In highschool I played against other girl teams that were not from Christian Schools–public schools for that matter that were coined with “Lady”.

  3. Posted by JTR 22nd December, 2008 at 9:39 pm

    Also stupid. Why don’t you let your fingers do the walking through your local high school directory.

    You really should research your stories better. This has nothing to do with being “fundy”, Hater.

  4. Posted by Beenthere2 24th December, 2008 at 10:27 am

    We were the Crusaders at my Fundy school. Really, where did they come up with that? Historical irony, anyone?

  5. Posted by Jen 6th January, 2009 at 11:07 am

    We had a contest to name our Christian school team. I won. We were the Raiders and our colors were blue-and-white (like our school uniforms). My classmate Peter drew the logo of a helmeted knight on a horse with a javelin/spear.

  6. Posted by fundyreformed 7th February, 2009 at 6:12 pm

    Ah, we were Knights. And we played Eagles, Crusaders….. Very funny. But, we were a bit liberal, had purple and gold as our colors.

  7. Posted by fundyreformed 7th February, 2009 at 6:12 pm

    Oh, my college team was maroon and silver, named the Fightin’ Fundamentalists. How original.

  8. Posted by Mark 11th February, 2009 at 10:52 am

    Elementary school: Defenders (maroon and gold)
    High school & College: Crusaders (blue & gold)

  9. Posted by Staci 12th November, 2009 at 3:44 pm

    High school: Warriors (green & white) The only cheerleaders in the league with skirts down to their knees and LONG-sleeved sweaters. Never understood why the guys on the basketball got to wear sleeveless tanks and shorts, while the cheerleaders risked heat exhaustion on the sidelines.
    College: Defenders (blue & white)

  10. Posted by farkus 23rd November, 2009 at 3:45 pm

    I never thought about this before, but wow did it hit home. My junior high was the crusaders, but HS we graduated to Kights, and out colors were red and white for JH, and Black and Red for HS, and the girls team was the lady nights.

    I just got chills :-)

  11. Posted by Jacob 21st July, 2010 at 9:04 am

    Eagles. The most overused team name for fundy school sports programs.

What do you think? Join the discussion...