Tag Archives: bible conference

Strict Separation (Really, Really Strict) (Seriously)


In 2011 Clarence Sexton went to Pastor’s school at FBC Hammond and showered the church and now-disgraced pastor Jack Schaap with praise.

In 2013 Clarence Sexton is not only on the list of speakers who will be preaching at Bob Jones University’s Bible conference, he’s speaking twice and closing out the conference.

Now stop and consider that BJU would NEVER have someone from a “liberal” denomination or even a leader in the Southern Baptist Convention come to speak at their school because of their huge emphasis on “separation.” Yet, apparently, somebody who merely loves and preaches for a school that is embroiled in abuse, scandal, and horrifying theology is ok since at least those people are still Independent Baptists.

As I have said many times before, the lunatic fringe of fundamentalism is never quite as far away from the “normal” fundamentalists as they would love for you to believe. In fact, if Clarence Sexton is any measure, they’re not different at all.

Sermons on Really Meaningful and Life-Changing Topics

This one is inspired by the hours of BJU Bible conference that I’ve listened to so far this week.

Think about all the costs of putting on a Bible conference. Between cooling and lighting for an auditorium, productivity lost for students and faculty, and honorariums and travel for speakers, the real and opportunity costs run at least into the hundreds of thousands of dollars. I’m sure the Christless sermons, moralistic messages, political pontificating, and wild guesses about prophecy are totally worth it. Totally.

…and then to add insult to injury they have the nerve to beg these same students and staff for donations to build a six-million dollar cafeteria.

Bible Conference

The keeping of the yearly Bible Conference shall be on thus-wise:

At such time when the spirit shall move and make utterance to you through unvoiced urges and rumblings, ye shall schedule the yearly church Bible Conference. And if this scheduling should coincidently happen to coincide with when most kids are having Spring Break that can hardly be the fault of the pastor or church leadership for the Spirit did ordain it — so don’t whine at me about it.

And the Bible Conference shall be apart and aside from the Missions Conference, and Prophecy Conference, and Women’s Conference and not overlap them. However, the speakers from those may be used again so long as they are not the women who spoke at the Women’s Conference, bless their dear hearts, for they shall instead make casseroles for the covered dish suppers that will precede each meeting.

And all church members whether great or small shall attend each and every service of the Bible Conference for the call for everyone to be ‘here and in their place’ may not be disobeyed on pain of dirty looks and being used in an awkward sermon illustration.  And each who attends shall bring his Bible for it shall be inspected by the speaker after he shall give the command “If you have your bible tonight please hold it up.”

And the theme of the Bible Conference must consist of a paring of the date and a phrase that almost rhymes with it if slightly slurred such as “Let’s Stay Awake in 1998” or “Rapture Ready in 2080.” This shall be printed upon a banner to be displayed at the front of the church building and this banner shall verily be made of tractor-feed paper along with some clip-art obtained from a pirated copy of WordPerfect.

But woe unto you if you allow the theme of the conference distract any speaker from his given mission of preaching on whatever he wants for verily we are not high-church nor to we have anything do with their kind. And the preacher shall wax long and cry aloud sparing not to leave preaching and go to meddling at every opportunity about whatsoever sin shall really have ticked the preacher off this past week.

And the last night of the conference shall be the night of awards for those who have coerced the most people to attend or memorized the most verses or have brought the best casserole . And their rewards shall be great for they shall receive a gift Bible from the church bookstore having a market value of $6.99. And it shall be revealed before the eyes of the whole congregation that this is the most the actual Bible has been involved in the Bible Conference all week.

Independent Baptist Book of Everlasting Rules and Requirements, pp 30-31