Tag Archives: Outreach

Reader Submitted Photo: Magnetic Scripture Signs

An alert reader in Michigan snapped a photo of this vehicle and sent it in.

As it turns out, magneticscripturesigns.com is not only a fundy outfit, they’re a fundy outfit “conceived by the Holy Ghost of God 27 years ago.” How’s that for a business plan?

Don’t miss the slideshow on their photos page with lots of great examples of how these their products are used.

Being The Friend of Sinners – Fundy Style

Hello, Candidate for Soul-winning, would you like to be my friend? You can tell by my smile that I’m the friendly sort. And why else would I be stopping by your house at eight o’clock on a Saturday morning?

“Hi, I’m here from Grace Fundamental Bible-Believing Baptist Church and wanted to know if you go to church anywhere?” I already know that you don’t.

We can’t be real friends, of course, as I perceive by your clothes that you are a sinner ripe for destruction. I can practically see the evil creeping out of your tattooed pores. I’ll bet you listen to rock music and drink beer when Christians like myself aren’t around to make you feel guilty. I’ve decided to care about you anyway.

“If you were to die today do you know where your soul would end up?” I do. Don’t pack a sweater.

No, we will definitely never hang out or have a meal together. I would never let you or your public-school indoctrinated spawn within a mile of my children. Every friendship has its limits.

“Say, we’d love to have you visit our church!” You can sit in special section reserved for those we judge. We love fresh fodder for the judgment bench.

Why do you look so annoyed? I’ve done nothing but be perfectly nice. Is anybody else enough of a friend to care as much about your soul as I do? I doubt it very much.

“Well it was really nice to meet you. Let me leave you a gospel tract as I go.” I know you won’t read it but it’s my duty. It’s what friends like me are for.

Outcome-Based Justification

No matter how dangerous, how silly, or how obsolete a fundy’s plan for evangelism may be, the justification is always the same: “If only one person gets saved, it’s all worth it.”

So what if the church van has four bald tires and hasn’t had a tune-up since 1978? We’re going to drive these 8 teens the 1400 miles to Mexico anyway.  If we can get one person saved, the risk of death is all worth it.

Look, we may be serving those VBS kids snacks that expired in Clinton administration…but if between bouts of throwing up one of them gets saved, it’s all worth it!

We spent $148,987.50 on printing ten million copies of a gospel tract with three misspelled words and six verses taken completely out of context…but if one person gets saved from reading it, it was all worth it!

Every member of our church has been standing out on a street corner yelling gospel verses at traffic every weekend this year at a total cost of 85 man-hours, two citations for public disturbance, and a whole lot of dry cleaning. Not one person even slowed down that we know of…but if one person gets saved from from the seeds we planted, it was all worth it.

But what if it isn’t? What if the lost getting saved really isn’t really up to your efforts? And even assuming it totally depends on your evangelism antics, what if unsafe and antiquated methods drove a hundred people away in the process of winning one? That’s a net loss of ninety-nine souls in the process of winning one. Worth it?

Now I know that fundies who are reading this are going to accuse me of hating the lost and being too fat and lazy to get off my couch and go soul-winning. But if I have managed to make just one person re-think their approach to outreach…it was all worth it.