At what point on a woman’s ankle, shin, or knee does a dress go from “modest” to “street walker”? There must be an absolute to this. God is not the author of confusion.
How much percussion is too much? Can we clap on the beat? May we use the timpani as long as we don’t call them “kettle drums”? How pronounced does the back beat have to become before the devil gets in you?
How pure must my KJV remain? If I spilled hot chocolate on a page and now the lineage of Mikloth the father of Shimeam is mostly a blur do I need to dispose of it entirely for fear of having corrupted the text? If so is it ok if I use the same procedure that I do for the American flag in dealing with the remains?
Am I responsible for the souls of every person I meet or just the ones I meet on Thursday evenings between 6 and 9 p.m.? If it’s the former, what is the best way to keep three or four hundred tracts on hand at all times? (Walmart is busy this time of year).
Is the preacher ever wrong? What’s the divine punishment for evil questioning? I hope it’s not as bad as the one for skipping Sunday School but if so could I speak to someone about breaking the other leg this time?