82 thoughts on “Creative Uses of Everyday Things”

  1. You may also have had a terrible time walking quickly or climbing stairs.

  2. Congrats. BTW my wife taught me about how these go together years ago. And yes, we were fundie then.

  3. I have come to believe that a large portion of Fundy doctrine and practice involves keeping their women down.

    1. True they are only slightly behind the Muslims and the Mormons in that department. And before someone jumps on me concerning the Mormons, check out their doctrine regarding polygamy in the celestial kingdom and how women will be pregnant through eternity giving birth to spirit babies. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

      I get so fed up with how these religions sock it to women regarding dress codes because the men may lust, as though we are responsible for the way men think. It’s time men too responsibility for their thoughts and stopped blaming women! ๐Ÿ‘ฟ

  4. I saw a woman in Costco today who was definitely a young fundy of some sort. She was in a knee length jean skirt and a too big shirt that was buttoned up to her neck. She had nondescript flat shoes on and my first thought was, “FUNDY.” NO makeup and very straight hair. I know that she might not have been, but she screamed fundy.

    1. Aw, Bob, she should turn in her fundy credentials! To really rock the look, she needed to be wearing tennis shoes and bobby socks. ๐Ÿ™‚

      And as for the safety pins…hardcore fundies would sew it shut. Or never buy it in the first place because it has a front zipper…too much like men’s apparel! ๐Ÿ™„

      1. At my former school we could get into trouble for having it pinned instead of sewed ๐Ÿ™„

        1. That was my first thought – you don’t pin it, you SEW it so it can’t come undone. And then you go do the penguin waddle the rest of the day because your skirt is too tight. ๐Ÿ˜‰

        2. Perhaps the Fundie men really wanna see the girl in that sewed up skirt doing the va-va-voom type waddle…sortof like a secret fantasy… Mmmmm….. something to think about…..Ya never know!!

      1. Yes they are. I grew up in a Pentacostal church that could be considered fun die-lite.
        Same stuff, it’s just Pentacostals believe that dancing is ok, if it is lead by the Spirit. ๐Ÿ˜›

      2. Yep. That’s what I was thinking…. She was probably pushing the limits with the skirt to the knee thing too… Most Pentacostals have to have longer skirts.

  5. The front slit is just too trashy for fundies, even pinned or sewn. Only a back slit can be worn. When properly fixed, of course.

    The women at a close relatives church are so brainwashed that they will condemn and sew up slits that stop below the knee. It’s kinda fun to watch them waddle.

    1. That’s what I was thinking too. That front slit would be considered too suggestive, even pinned.

      At BJU, we were always pinning the BACK slit in our skirts shut.

      1. We had to do the same thing at MBBC.

        I had forgotten about this until I read the thread.

        I always hated the fact that we had to wear hose and then walk in dirty, sloppy snow that would get our legs wet. When it was below zero, we were allowed to wear spandex pants UNDER our skirts. Everything was uncomfortable for the women and trying to shop for clothes for being a Fundey woman was so frustrating.

    1. Only if you’re not the one doing the waddling, I’ve seen women having trouble climbing stairs because of this.

      1. That’s why we were taught to turn to the side and go up the stairs sideways and to slightly pull the skirt up (READ: like in the old west crossing the muddy street. There have rarely been posts on the internet that truly make me LOL – I chuckle- but this this was just pure hilarity! I remember having to do this in jr high/high and the pin would bend b/c the denim was too thick or to much pin would show through and it would bunch ohhh so much worries about what – the back of a kneecap – of an 8th grader SERIOUSLY! So glad so glad it’s over!

  6. Yep, yep, yep. I sho-ly do know how those go together. But I was also never allowed to wear denim or any skirt with a fly front either.

  7. Funnily enough, I had a safety pin flashback just the other day. Last week, I was deconstructing a wrap skirt I had made in college because of fit issues. I was deconstructing it because the fabric it’s made of was from Saipan, a gift from a friend who lived there a while, and I was going to use it to make a sundress. (I did, and it’s cute.) Once I had the pieces apart, I was ironing out all the seams and darts and such, and I noticed this little hole in the middle of the front panel. It honestly took me a solid 3 or 4 minutes to remember that I’d had to wear a pin at the knee when I wore it at school. Then I laughed a lot because I’d forgotten the pinning of the wrap skirts. haha.

    Now that I’m thinking about it, I had a fairly expensive (esp. at the time) light khaki wrap skirt from the Gap that had a pull-through tear from pinning. :-/ I just repinned above and wore it anyway, but I had to throw it away after I graduated. What a waste.

    1. Pinning wrap skirts?! Wrap skirts have enough of an overlap that you can’t see anything except for the part of the skirt that the wrap goes over! Were the powers – that – be afraid men would lust over being able to see the part of the wrap skirt that the other part of the wrap skirt usually overlaps? ๐Ÿ™„

      1. I think it was just in case. Just in case you fell down or a strong wind came along or a dog pulled at your skirt and unwrapped it.

      2. I always found it a bit ridiculous. I suppose the powers that be were afraid of the slippery slope of sitting slits slipping open. (I worked hard on that but couldn’t think of another “s” word. haha) In grad school, I just kept a safety pin with me in case anyone said anything and left my wrap skirts unpinned.

    1. Or, to put it more succinctly: slits are for sluts.

      (Hmm, that didn’t sound quite right.) ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

      1. We must have grown up in the same circles. If I had a dollar for every time I heard the “slits are for sluts” routine, I would be a very rich woman by now.

  8. The mouseover comment is soooooo true — a genuine, dyed-in-the-wool fundy would sew/pin some material (preferably a bandanna for variety/cuteness) into the slit.

  9. I never knew people did this till showing up at Fundy U. I never did master the shuffle, but I was kind of in awe of the girls who could wear straight, thin skirts to their ankles, all pinned and sewed up. I didn’t know how they walked, but it was impressive.

    1. In 19th-century Spain, such a narrow, long skirt was known as a “falda de medio paso” (skirt of half a step), because one could only take half-steps in it.

    2. By taking teeny tiny steps. It’s a little claustrophobic to me. I never wore long skirts once we left our old-old fundy church and went to school at the old fundy church. And never again. I can’t even stand below-knee skirts >.<

      1. This just triggered a memory of Christian Womanhood tapes in which Carol Frye instructed the ladies to take small, feminine steps. This was something my mom liked to harp on as well. I have never been one to mince, so I avoided skirts that had to be pinned or sewn.

  10. I know how this works all too well. Not only did I go to Fundy U, but I was a counselor at the Wilds Christian Camp for one summer. I had a box of safety pins to use on my campers’ slits and low necklines. I pride myself in the fact that I can pin carefully enough that the pin doesn’t show at all. ๐Ÿ™„

    1. Pinning slits: a sign that fundie preachers are so behind the times that they haven’t caught up to the 1980s and started preaching against safety pins as an exponent of the evil punk movement. Although I did have a preacher call it the “puke” movement once and the sheeple did laugh.

      1. reminds me of when Dr. Bob the 3rd told us in chapel at BJU that we should stay away from Spacebook and Myface. He wasn’t kidding.

    2. Wow… When we went to the Wilds, I was a counselor for our Church group, but I wore pants most all week. I didn’t know they had any skirt/pin rules…. ??? Oh no!!!! I suppose I was the talk of the camp when we left. : ( he he

  11. ah, the Wilds . . . where the singing is funny and the jokes are not.
    Sorry–I’ve had my share of “Wild” times and I still can’t figure out whether everyone laughs at the jokes, skits, etc. just to be polite, or if they are honestly that easily amused. And if they ARE that easily amused by crass entertainment, are they honestly sedate and serious-minded enough that they really enjoy the tuneless, lifeless, bloodless music that the Wilds churns out? They certainly give that impression. Is it nothing more than the lemming effect? I just don’t get it.

    1. I think that one of the side effects of not being allowed to go to movies, watch tv or do anything even remotely entertaining is that we as kids were so starved for entertainment we thought the lame stuff they offered us at camps and watchnight services was funny. At least I did. I used to really look forward to anything that WASN’T preaching or designed to make me feel guilty or cry. I just wanted to laugh so badly that whatever the excuse, I took it. My husband and I were watching an old Brady Bunch Reunion movie on tv the other night (I wasn’t allowed to watch Brady Bunch when I was a kid, but sometimes snuck watching it at a friend’s house) and I was amazed at how lame it was. I always thought it was GREAT! I figured all this out while Marcia and Jan got married.

      1. I don’t know if it’s true or not, but I heard that Greg and Mom Brady had a short fling.

        1. Actually they just went out to dinner together, both were rather light-hearted about the whole thing. ๐Ÿ˜€

  12. We were in ATI (Bil Gothard’s organization) and every training center handbook had the following text: “Absolutely no slits. Kick pleats are a creative alternative to slits.” I always thought: so it’s OK to LOOK like you have a slit as long as you don’t actually HAVE one! Good grief!

  13. Deacon’s Son – You may want to check out the Ex ATI group on FB. ATI Student Survivors or ATISS, we’re kinda fun to hang out with…online anyway.

  14. The skirt seems too short as well as having that huge slit. I also sewed a few slits shut in my time but I had to reopen one of them because I couldn’t walk in the skirt afterward. And it was so dumb because the skirt was ankle length and the slit only went to my knees. ๐Ÿ˜•

    1. The rule at BJU that the slit had to be to the bottom of our knees. But there was a problem when the skirt was long and straight. With a skirt to one’s ankles, the slit had to be very long so even though it went no higher than the back of the knee it LOOKED like a high slit and thus gave the appearance of immodesty even though it fell completely within the rules. (And, yes, that was exactly what a girl was told at BJU when I was there.)

      1. I had a skirt like that I wore all the time at BJU. ๐Ÿ˜› I was one of the lucky ones who never got spoken to about dress, even though I know I wore stuff that while it did not break the rules, it pushed them. ๐Ÿ˜›
        I like to think that is was because I am short.

    2. My wife, who is not really well-endowed in the breast department (sorry honey), was once turned in (anonymously of course) at BJU by some guy offended by the low neck line of her “sexy” 80’s-style button-down blouse. She was like, “seriously!”. Is it any wonder that too many of these fundy guys end up with sexual fixations and problems…

      1. we had a hall meeting once at BJU where we were told that some of the male teachers had complained about being able to see up our skirts and down our necklines while they were teaching. I couldn’t go to class after that without wondering who the lecherous teacher was who couldn’t stop ogling us.
        Then there was the time I was sent home from a prayer meeting at my work department at BJU because the 40-something man sitting behind me complained to my boss that the back of my shirt was too low when I bent over to pray. Creepers!!!! ๐Ÿ˜ฏ I think he should have been sent home for checking me out when he should have been praying!

  15. For most skirts, especially denim, if there’s a slit it’s there for a reason. So you can, you know, walk.

  16. Hahaha! Oh such fond memories of learning how to pin so it didn’t look like the skirt was pinned. ๐Ÿ˜› The fundy U I attended had the no pin rule also- it had to be sewn. What if the pins burst open and revealed *GASP* a KNEE CAP!?!?!?! ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ™„

    1. You can’t let the little boys at Fundy U know that you have legs! They might go wild! Best to just let them keep thinking that girls hover in order to get around. ๐Ÿ˜†

  17. At my school, our slits could be no longer than 4 inches, had to end below the knee, and had to be sewn not pinned. I remember my third day of Bible college, I was wearing a straight skirted dress. I had sewn it that morning and was so proud of myself. However, I ripped it on the stairs going to dress check because I didn’t know how to do the hop/waddle effectively, then the dress checker ripped it more when she got out the ruler to measure my slit. Thus ends the story of how I got my first 5 demerits at Bible college for failing my very first dress check.

    1. Ugh! So ridiculous. At Golden State the dorm leader would yell down the hall that she wasn’t going anywhere ’til every girl got checked and if we went through a different exit it was automatic demerits. Feel the love caged rats…feel the love. ๐Ÿ˜ฅ

    2. Wo..Hold on a minute… You people had DRESS CHEKERS WITH RULERS?????? This forum is very entertaining…

  18. does anyone remember the “dress checks” at BJU? We had to get formal dresses checked for Artist Series, pants checked to wear to the Athletic field for games, and outfits checked before we went on dating outings. We also had to get outfits checked for society outings, which were gender-segregated. I guess that was just in case we had any closet lesbians in our society, we wouldn’t want to entice them to lust.
    I don’t think the boys ever had to get a blessed thing “checked.”
    This is one of the reasons I never went to games and hardly ever on dating outings. I never tried to push the limits with my clothes, but nonetheless, I always seemed to get busted for skirts that came to the middle of instead of the bottom of my knee. I’m 5’11, so this rule was almost impossible for me to keep. I got PERSONALLY busted by the dead of women herself 3 times-two on campus and one at the Walgreens nearby.
    To this day, I can’t wear a skirt without constantly tugging the hemline down and looking over my shoulder to make sure the powers that be aren’t watching.

    1. ah yes…Miss Baker, the DEAD of Women herself…who flagged me down and ran…literally ran, across the parking lot to give me demerits for my outfit. lol Remember “eye traps” and “2 inches of ease” for skirts and pants?? UGH. Since graduating 6 years ago, i have refused to buy a skirt too much longer than a foot in length haha

  19. excuse me-dean of women, not dead of women. Although, . . . well, I’ll leave it at that.

  20. I cannot tell you how hard my sister and I were laughing when we saw this and quickly said how we wished we didn’t know why these went together. The worst was when the denim was too heavy to hold the pin and it became undone and would stab you in the leg. I haven’t worn a jean skirt in over 5 years and still can’t stand how I look in them!

  21. I believe in modesty, and on covering up a bit to conserve my integrity. Pardon me for not wanted those pervy men at the gas station or the mall staring at my chest and butt!! And you don’t have to look drab and like you’re wearing a sack to be modest. I’ve seen perfectly beautiful outfits that fit well, but not too right, and made the women look respectable. I’d rather have someone think I’m crazy for not showing off my body than to leave nothing to the imagination

    1. ” Iโ€™d rather have someone think Iโ€™m crazy for not showing off my body than to leave nothing to the imagination”

      Yes, those are obviously the only two options.

      1. The thought process of a male in regard’s to a woman’s sexual attractiveness is never the responsibility of a male. It’s always on the wimminz, dontcha know? Males in countries where the wimminz are in burqas are never, ever troubled by lust. They only have sex to reproduce, never out of sexual desire.

        I know have a headache from writing that tripe.

  22. I came at this post sideways, from today’s “Male Leadership” post. I know a woman who was told, by an elderly man at church, that her skirt was too short . That evening she showed up in a floor length skirt and the same man said she looked “too modern”, this was in the late seventies. The next week she wore the “too modern” skirt again, showed him a handful of safety pins and asked him where he wanted the hem of her skirt to be. She didn’t last long in the Fundies.

  23. Wow!!! It’s been long time, but I sure do remember searching for bobby pins all the time. Had to also put them at the top of my shirts to make sure it was not to low

      1. I was thinking, bobby pins? Lol. My Gramma used to tell us to keep a safety pin fastened to the inside of our pockets at all times. I feel a little undressed without one but I am going to fight through.

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