Friday Challenge: Be A Poe

How good a troll are you? Do you still have what it takes to be a Poe poser on SFL?

Today’s challenge is to submit your best fundy rant at your fellow SFLers and blasting the entire place in general.

Extra points given for creative pseudonyms.

340 thoughts on “Friday Challenge: Be A Poe”

  1. This challenge has been enormously entertaining for the simple reason that I can’t be 100% sure if certain people are joking or serious.

    It’s delicious.

    1. aka formerSFL.
      We have to do this again! It was fun! And I enjoyed reading many creative comments. I inserted an obvious lie at the begining of my post to indicate a total spoof. SFL has only been around for 4 years, not 6.



  3. This message is only for the ladies, since I am not ALLOWED as a mere female, to usurp authority over the men who are to be looked up to as superior! They are so much smarter, and stronger than we are and we are so blessed to be under their authority!

    Now you ladies know, it is so sad when you look out at the world today and see the HORRIBLE IMMODEST dress on the females of the world! Don’t they know they are making it so hard for our men not to think lustful thoughts? We must be SO CAREFUL not to cause our brothers in Christ to sin by our immodest dress! I mean, they may be superior to us in every other way, but they are so WEAK in this area that we have to protect them from their own base natures. Thank the good Lord that we women never suffer from the problem of lust!

    How can we help our dear brothers with their lust problem? Here are a few suggestions.

    Before you come to church, make sure you look at yourself in a full length mirror. Is your skirt long enough? Is it AT LEAST 2 inches below the knee? Ankle length would be better of course, to cover up those shameful calves, which make men wonder what is above them! Your skirt may be long enough, (and be sure to check when you’re sitting down, does it ride up above the knee? Shame on you if it does!) but does it have a WICKED SINFUL SLIT?? Oh you say, the slit is there to help you walk rather than hobble especially going up and down stairs? The slit is only up to the knee? It’s still wicked! If a man is following you up the stairs, you KNOW he’s wondering what’s above that slit!

    What about your blouse? Is it low cut? If it’s more than 2 inches below your neck, it’s WICKED and SINFUL and it will cause the men to wonder what’s below it. Is your blouse at all sheer so that some of your skin can be seen through it? How DARE you so tempt your brothers in Christ?

    Do NOT give me the argument that there are men who dress immodestly. So some of our Christian brothers wear tight pants that allow no room for the imagination! They’re men, they can wear whatever they like! If you’re looking at them you are a HUSSY! Don’t you know we women are not supposed think those kinds of thoughts? So quit thinking about the men in tight pants! Think only modest thoughts! Remember Philippoans 4:8! Think on things that are pure and you will be pure! And remember that modesty is a female only issue.

    Why are so many of you still wearing makeup? Do you really think it makes you more attractive than the Lord Himself made you? Don’t you know that makeup is the devil’s face paint? The same can be said for nail polish, and many kinds of jewelry. Godly women only need to wear a wedding ring. You need no other adornment than the ring that symbolizes your wedding vow to your husband. You ought not to be tempting other men by your painted face, nails and jewelry! Why do you wear pierced earrings? God didn’t put holes in your ears and you are wicked to add to what He has given you. Do you think you know better than the Lord what you ought to look like? You are only tempting the men to lust through these things!

    Now on the issue of women keeping silent in the church, I’ve even heard some of you saying “Amen” during the services. You ought to know to leave that to the men. You are to be SILENT! It’s wonderful that you love our preacher so much that you want him to know you agree with him, but he would prefer that you remain SILENT. You could nod your head to show agreement, or wave a white hanky, though that might draw attention to you, which is not a good thing. You should attempt to remain as invisible as possible.

    You should sing quietly and modestly, do not sing loudly no matter how much you love the song. This applies even if you sing in the choir.

    What would really be best and keep you out of the view of any of the men is to remain downstairs tending to the lovely babies in the nursery. Since it isn’t usually the father who brings the babies down there but the mothers, you may not be seen by any man at all, and hence will not become a temptation to him!

    1. If your skirt is so tight that you hobble without a slit, well, ladies, it’s too tight. Think about whose husband you are trying to tempt with your lust-filled body, and then get thee to a full denim skirt, sans slit.

    2. Well said.

      And ladies, let’s not forget that blogging on this here internut bloggy thingy is GOSSIP! That’s right! Gossiping is an abomination to God because you flapping lips destroys your homes and churches! Your time would be better spent cleaning and cooking. Your house should be white and sparkling. When in doubt, bleach it! Talking on the phone is considered gossip as well. Even though the men get a prayer’s breakfast every Saturday, we are only allowed a Bible study because we are wired to gossip and talk about other people including our husbands. If you have a problem about your man, take it only to God.

      You could turn on this hymn…”Work for the night is coming” for inspiration if need be but I want those toilets to pass inspection with a white glove!

      If your right eye offends thee, cut it out. Cancel your internut and get to work on that house!

      1. Well said Mominator. I could just hear those lovely women from first baptist of hammond…. now there goes my dinner… where’s the puke emoticon?? 😳

  4. I am amazed at the number of good Christians that I see here today. The Lord our God must have laid this place on the hearts of many faithful followers. I can’t but congratulate you all for your fervor for the cause of Christ. Keep up the brave posting and someday we will, through God’s strength, eradicate libralism on the internet!

    Sincerely yours,

  5. How dare you people mock GOD and holy men of GOD. Do you not know that GOD says “Touch not mine anointed”? And you dare slander and mock GOD and the Holy Ghost!?! Revile GOD and HIS LAWS!!! Praise Jesus He saved me from the scorners.

    “It is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgement.”

    1. Bless God! Somebody that gets it. I don’t know why everyone here hates standards and makes fun of God-fearing Believers. God has standards. What’s the problem with being modest or not listening to worldly music? If I had to choose between God’s standards and the world’s standards, I’ll choose God every time!

      There are three things I’ll stand for. The God of the Bible. The United States of America. And Israel.

      When our Lord comes back soon, it will be clear who was write and who was wrong. People should be afraid of what is coming. Hell. “Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.”

  6. How dare you Christian teens even think about attending a secular college! Didn’t your church, christian school or home school parents teach you anything?

    Attending a secular college will ruin you. Your boyfriend/girlfriend will want to hold your hand or maybe even kiss you. If you are a female, you may be tempted to wear SHORTS out in public. You guys will probably want to grow your hair long or grow a beard. You may be introduced to someone who is not a believer. You are definitely not ready for that.

    Even worse, if you have a major project due tomorrow, you may feel the liberty to spend the night awake in the library. And you will definitely be exposed to rock music. If you want to leave campus for a few hours to go to the mall or to a restaurant, what college official will you ask for permission?

    In short, I know you want to be normal, but you will not be ready to do any of these things until you are least 23. Only then will you be ready. Trust me!

    1. I’m having the same problem. It’s like I’m living in Stalinist Russia! Who do I trust? Who’s faking? Even the Fundies don’t seem to know. I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole and I’m in some strange wonderland.

  7. I may have given the wrong impression about myself. I am not like most fundamentalists in that I welcome a challenge to my beliefs. BUT not challenges to the fundamentals of the Christian faith. Those are off-limits in my opinion. Things like the Trinity, the Virgin Birth, Biblical Literalism, The Substitutionary Atonement, The KJB, etc. I do not think it is okay to challenge those aspects of Christianity.

    I am not one of the crazy fundamentalists who screams at people who don’t agree with me. I just get all riled up when I see people on this site tearing down great men of God and making fun of God’s Bible, the KJB. What is saddest is that all of you have grown up in the truth and been blinded to it by Satan.

    I cannot imagine the depth of sadness and deperation each of you must feel at night. You lay there resting in your own good works and false teaching. How do you even sleep at night if you don’t believe that there is an ultimate Truth to believe in? Doctrinal Relativism is not very comforting is it?

    I just found that this site has a forum as well. What I saw there frightens me. I have been a missionary for 30 years in a former Soviet country and I cannot believe that some of you so-called Christians are supporting these Soviets who want to destroy America. I have seen what Communism can do to a country but most of you haven’t, that is why you can vote for those policies with a clear conscience. Anyone who says that Obama is not a communist doesn’t know communism like I do.

    Again, Christians, the Bible says to come out from among them and be ye separate. We are not to touch the unclean thing. We are not to set wicked things before our eyes. Some of you need to take those verses seriously and stop visiting this site.

    It looks like some of the things I wrote earlier offended some of you. Well, great peace (that passeth understanding) have they which love thy law and nothing shall offend them. The reason the truth that I spoke offends you is that you have decided to rebel against the law of the Lord. If not, hearing the truth would bring you peace, not offense.

    The thing that strikes me most about this site is that a lot of you started out with the right ideas in mind. You searched the Scriptures like the believers in Berea and found out that your church was preaching things that weren’t so. Crazy, unBiblical nonsense like Calvinism or modernism. Where you err is in throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Though some fundamentalists do preach doctrinal error, that does not mean that all of them do. You are painting a movement that has been greatly used of God with a pretty broad brush don’t you think?

    Some of you no doubt have genuinely had a conversion experience. The Bible tells us to try the spirits to see whether they are of God. Some of the spirits I sense on this site are definitely not of God.

    I don’t want you to think that I am just Crazy Fred ranting about something or other. I want you to know that I really care and want the best for all of you. It if freeing to follow God’s Word God’s way. You shall know that truth and the truth shall make you free.
    The posters on this site are like the Pharisees. They said that they were free and in bondage to no man too! That is the attitude that a lot of you have. You feel that you have cast off the shackles of a good, Godly church so you are free. You do not realize that in doing so you became a servant to sin just like the Pharisees.

    May the truth open your eyes. This site is the blind leading the blind. None of you know where you are headed. Well, I tried to warn you.

    1. The KJV has verses against lying, right? I know my NIV and The Message Bible do. See, you said you were leaving and that two posts ago was your last post.

      1. Guess what Princess? God laid it on my heart to come back so I had no choice but to return. If you would throw out those perversions and get yourself a real Bible you would know better.
        On the other page you said that you have grown in Christ since you read these other versions. Who is lying now? God doesn’t bless books that He didn’t write!
        You also said that you are a feminist. Isn’t that sweet? Eve wanted to be equal to her man too. Look where that got us. All of the feminists that I have ever met just needed a good man. Not some fruity little metrosexual who believes in equality. A real man. I hope you find one sometime. (That is, if you are looking for a man. With you feminists you never know)

        1. By “real man” I suppose you mean someone who would beat her over the head all the time with “Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands?” Who would treat her like a doormat? That’s what you sound like. What happened to “husbands love your wives as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it”? Is that not also in the Bible? Why do fundy men love to harp on submission and very little on love? Why are messages on the home 9/10 about submission and 1/10 about love? Could it be that they’re preached by men who love the idea of having his own little slave running around doing his bidding? 👿

        2. I doubt God laid it on your heart. If you are really a fundamentalist, it means you love fighting. You just couldn’t help yourself. I’m a happily married feminist with four kids so no thanks, I’m not looking for a man, I have one that appreciates me for who I am. 🙂

        3. For a man so convinced of his superiority over women, you seem to be awfully intimidated by them.

        4. fred your a dick! just like any ass-hat baptist loud talker who needs to make sure people who dont care your a pastor or you hve a dr from some 1 room college in northern michigan. get off this page and go bus calling.

        1. Drats, that was the first “in conclusion”? I should’ve recognized that from a mile away?

    2. unBiblical nonsense like Calvinism or modernism

      as opposed to “biblical” fundamentalist easy-believe-ism, or Finney-ist Altar calls, or the man made tradition of the single man rule from the pulpit that are found in the Bible right?

      Fred, you are blind and in bondage to man centered traditions, you have squeezed your god until he fits in your King James only Bible cover. Until you see the stumbling block to the Gospel of Christ you and your kind have become, you will never see God high and lifted up. To you he will always be a god whom you have to help out if he is to ever do anything again in this world.

      Your approach, as you have SO abundantly shown here with your postings, is that you believe you have to clean up sinners before your god can do anything with them. Yet the Bible speaks of God in terms that transcend our existence and understanding. The Bible speaks of God in terms of his sufficiency, his holiness, and all of creation being subject to him, not him being subject to his creation. His plan includes using believers to share the gospel with others. He says we will be his witnesses no matter where we go. Where in scripture do you see the witnesses of God, his prophets, his proclaimers going in and beating folks into submission with the gospel? Your actions show an attitude that you believe God had commissioned you to straighten folks out and beat them down with your Christian morality. I do not see Christ in your postings Fred. I see you tilting at windmills, declaring your morality and elevating your standards to essential doctrines of the faith.

      That is a stumbling block to the Gospel of Christ. It does not show the Love of Christ, or the person of Christ. All it shows is a frustrated, legalist who needs to bring others into subjection under his standards and authority. I’ll be praying that the Lord opens your blinded eyes so you can see the awesome truth Christ has given us, and God for the Sovereign Lord of all Creation that he is. Then maybe you can get out of his way and allow Christ to work through you instead of you working so hard to proselyte folks to your moralism.

      1. Ah, a Calvinist! I knew I would stir one up if I flipped over enough rocks. You can always spot a Calvinist from their ad hominem attacks. By their fruits ye shall know them.
        So, Don boy, I have quoted the Scripture at length, you didn’t quote any in your response. Why is that? Could it be that Calvinists had rather follow a man’s teachings than the clear teachings of the Word of God? Could it be that Calvinism is the product of minds which look at the Bible and say Yea, hath God said…..whosoever will?

        What is with you Calvinists and your beards? I believe that the connection is rebellion. When I was a kid facial hair was a sign of rebellion against authority. That is certainly what Calvinism is-a rebellion against the authority of God’s Word.

        Excuse me if I want to follow the clear teachings of the Word while you follow the deranged teachings of Calvin. That is up to you. I believe we will find out that I am right at the Judgement Seat.

        1. Ah, yes. Facial hair. Another completely biblical we-totally-aren’t-preaching-preferences-its-in-the-Bible-we-just-can’t-remember-where fundy “doctrine.” 😛

        2. Don,
          I see that you are foul-mouthed like most followers of that heretical religion. I know why you cannot quote any Bible verses to support your heresy-there aren’t any!

          Do you know why the Roman legions always shaved? Even when they were marching through rough terrain in really harsh conditions they always managed to shave. Why is that? To distinguish them from their barbarian enemies, that’s why!
          Christians should want to be distinguished from our enemy, the world.
          If you cannot have a beard in the US Army why should you have one in the Lord’s Army? I am sorry for all of this Army talk. Most of you liberal pansies probably never served.

        3. That’s right, Jesus didn’t have a beard. He quickly grew one before the crucifixion because he realized he had to have something for the Romans to pluck out….?

        4. Pastor Fred Super Sleuth

          You really did some serious investigatory work there sir! Sherlock has met his match.

        5. “Do you know why the Roman legions always shaved? Even when they were marching through rough terrain in really harsh conditions they always managed to shave. Why is that? To distinguish them from their barbarian enemies, that’s why!”

          That’s a really interesting fact. I thought Jesus was Jewish, though. And Scripture tells us there was nothing about His appearance that said He was God. So wouldn’t He have looked like every other Jewish man?

          I’ll go back to my bitter corner now.

    3. Fred I can’t decide if you’re a brilliant troller or for real. For this reply, I’ll assume your serious. I don’t want to take up the space to go point by point through your statement so I hope a story will explain better. Long ago I met a Fundamentalist similar to you (forgive the broad statement). He held some standards for xians that weren’t in the bible and treated me accordingly. I was a new believer. He quoted something from scripture one day to all of us on break, and afterwards I chased after him to ask him what it meant (KJV was a bit confusing). He blew me off as person who wasn’t a ‘real’ xian. Do you know why? I had long hair. I didn’t understand why at the time. Then one day we were partnered together. I brought up the bible, and we talked about God all day long as we worked! He was feeling very discouraged, but after that day he felt great! I asked him at the end of the day why he didn’t take me seriously when I asked my first question, and he told me it was because of my hair. Sometimes, brother, our standards that we think are God’s actually cause us to stumble. Which one of us was wrong Fred; the new believer with long hair, or the older Xian who blew him off because of hair?

    4. Actually:

      -KJV-onlyism isn’t a fundamental of the faith (as was already pointed out), though many here still choose to study and read from the KJV.

      -Many of us still follow the real fundamentals of the faith, as laid out in the Bible, but we understand that actually taking the Bible seriously means that you can’t twist/cherry pick Scripture so that others confuse your personal preferences with God’s commands.

      -Not everyone on this blog believes the exact same way, but IT’S OKAY. In the end everyone needs to study the Bible themselves and make up their own minds, not just accept someone else’s second-hand theology. If you feel the need to run in fear from people who don’t line up with your theology (or encourage others to), you have the problem, not them.

      I don’t know about anyone else here, but the reason I left the IFB church I went to was not because of “modernism” or “worldiness.” It was because of the coldness and derision they treated any person or church who did not believe and act EXACTLY like them, their glorification of traditions and preferences to the level of Scripture, and I just got tired of a movement that pays lips service to the “priesthood of the believer” while actually practicing the “priesthood of the pastor and his cronies.”

    5. It’s not a bad attempt at today’s Friday challenge, but you need to add more crazy. Otherwise people will think you’re just a run-on-the-mill troll.

      Oh, wait. 🙂

    6. The 5 Fundamentals of the Faith as re-imagined by “Pastor Fred”:
      Trinity (X)
      Virgin Birth (Ding)
      Biblical Literalism (X)
      Substitutionary Atonement (Ding)
      KJB (X) – am not sure if he means the existence of the KJB or the inspiration of the KJB or something else. It’s incorrect anyway you want to interpret the guess though.

      Does 40% count as passing at Fundy U these days?

    7. Biblical Literalism is a fundamental of the faith? Really?
      Well, I guess when you make a 1611 translation of the Bible to the English speaking people the fourth member of the Trinity that would make sense.

  8. “Scorpio”
    Taco Bell Drive-thru Ministry
    Walmart Customer Service Desk Ministry
    Welfare and Unemployment Offices Ministry
    Adult Book Store Ministry
    Sears Optical Ministry
    Airport Baggage Carousel Ministry – 😆 rotfl

  9. All you people need to get right. You talk about doin things that you enjoy. anything thats enjoyable is wrong. the only things thats right is things that feel bad or get you yelled at.
    wen we hold up our sighns on the roadside tellin folks to repent and dont go to hell and dont like them abomiNations here in Poedunkville, we know its the right thing cuz people yell and use bad words to us. this means we is sufferin fer JESUS.

    I wonts the best fer you people follerin dArrrel, and you need warnin not to be like them lemmins that fallow each other offn them clifs of sin. listen to preacher fred and dante. you kin tell they are right cauz the sound so bitter at you happy peeples.

    like they say, an uhnappyness is next to godliness.





  11. Especially the few real fundies that for some reason decided that this was the ideal thread to post their rants on.

    (Thank you for posting the first half before I was done typing, George. Glad to see your still with us.)

  12. For Christ sent me not to baptize, but to preach the gospel: not with wisdom of words, lest the cross of Christ should be made of none effect.
    For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God.

    This is what motivates me to come back here: the desire to preach! God-called preachers just can’t help but preach! I am praying about preaching out of these verses this Sunday in our English service. We have two services on Sunday. One in English for the expats, one not for the locals.

    Just Preach

    I. Our Job is to Preach
    For Christ sent me not to baptize, but to preach
    II. Our Jesus is Powerful
    lest the cross of Christ should be made of none effect.
    III Our Jehovah is Personal
    but unto us which are saved it is the power of God.
    In this verse God equates preaching with His own power. What about that?

    Some of you just can’t handle being under Bible preaching because it is the power of God. You are not His children so His presence and power make you uncomfortable.

    I am sorry that what I have to say seems like foolishness to you. This passage addresses people like you. You should take note and be warned!

    For after that in the wisdom of God the world by wisdom knew not God, it pleased God by the foolishness of preaching to save them that believe.

    By the way, that is why Calvinism is wrong! If they were foreordained from the foundation of the world to be saved then why does God need us preachers to preach? No Calvinist can answer that one simple question. I guess they were foreordained to run and hide.

    I like the last verse of I Corinthians 1: He that glorieth let him glory in the Lord. Not John Calvin!

    People accuse me of hating John Calvin. That is not the case at all. In fact, I hope that every year when his birthday rolls around Satan lets him have a popsicle to celebrate.

    1. He that glorieth let him glory in the Lord. Not John Calvin!

      and certainly not any IFB preachertainer pounding the pulpits twice on Sunday.
      You are too much fun Freddy.

      So I have to ask:
      Fred, does preaching save folks?
      Inquiring minds want to know.

      1. But unto us which are saved it is the power of God.

        Preaching=the power of God
        The power of God saves people
        Therefore preaching saves people.

        It is written there in black and white in the Bible if you care to look.

        To be clear, not all preaching saves people. I believe that it has to be the right kind of preaching. None of this Joel Osteen, Benny Hinn or John Piper nonsense. No sir! It has to be real Bible preaching.

        1. I see now why there is so much confusion between us here, Fred! I didn’t realize that you had a totally different religion! I can see why you might be confused here.

          See, the belief here is that Jesus Christ is the only one who saves people. Men don’t save other people, and neither do their words or works (yes, even many of us who are not Calvinists believe this!). So, a self-important man standing at a wooden desk on a platform every week isn’t in any better position to “save” anyone from hell then is anyone else in the world.

          At least, that’s how Christianity works. Tell us more about your religion.

        2. Dear Fred, Mandy is correct, if you join the forum there is an entire board devoted to non Christian religions such as the one you are espousing here.

        3. Amen Pastor Fred!! Old Fashioned hell fire and brimstone preaching is how the unadulterated gospel is heard and received. Everything else is cotton candy theology.

        4. I can’t help but think a little flippigation there would help me understand that syllogism better. Now where’s Shoes when you need him…?

        5. ah, as always the fundies miss the context of their prooftexts.

          Preaching is not the power of God and preaching does not save anyone. Preaching is an action, a verb if you will, and much like faith it is only as good and effective as its subject.

          In your latest posting you make power the subject when the scripture you quote clearly makes the Gospel, vis-à-vis the cross, the subject. “For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God.
          Preaching is not the power of God, the message of the Gospel is the power of God. By making the act of preaching the power of God you make God secondary and elevate the preacher to preeminence.

          1 Corinthians 1:23-25 “But we preach Christ crucified, unto the Jews a stumbling block, and unto the Greeks foolishness; But unto them which are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God, and the wisdom of God. Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men.

          Clearly it is not the act of preaching that is the power of God but the message of the Gospel of Christ, which is the power. And clearly we see that it is only efficacious to those whom God calls. Acts 2:38-39 “Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. For the promise is unto you, and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call.” Romans 1:6 Paul designates believe as “the called” of Jesus Christ.(clearly putting the emphasis on the work of Christ not the works of men)

          Listen to the beauty of God’s grace in Romans 8:28-30, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified. That is such an anchor of assurance of salvation, knowing it is God who had established our salvation and it is God who called us to salvation. When you anchor to the Power of God that is faith unto salvation because that is faith in God and not yourself, rather than, “Oh was I sincere enough when I went to the altar? Did I say the right word? Was I humble enough? Did I really, really, sincerely mean it? Am I saved?” the works that you do and the decisions you make,. It knocks the preacher off his pedestal and puts God back in the proper view.

        6. OMG! I’d forgotten all about the flippigation! I wouldn’t even dare to hazard a very amateur flippigate on my own, this is definitely a job for Shoes!

  13. Ladies, how is your marriage? You know, very few women grasp the sufficiency of Scripture in our lives! We don’t realize that God has the answer to all of our problems.

    Some of the most intimate & beautiful language describing the love between a man and a woman is contained in the Song of Solomon.

    Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines: for our vines have tender grapes.
    Song of Solomon 2:15

    What is it that God says can spoil these tender grapes? A wild stallion? Marauding tribes? A destructive fire? No…..a little fox. Listen to the language the little foxes are attempting to teach you as a wife.

    Fox #1~ My Way
    This little fox is an open rebel. This fox says, “No, I am not going to do that.” Or, cloaked in kinder terms, but a rebel just the same, “Ya know, Hon, I don’t think that is such a good idea.” The first little fox is a women whose way is always right in her own eyes.

    Fox#2~ Some Day
    This little fox seems compliant and sounds submissive. This fox says with his actions, “Your way, but in my time.” A husband asks for a relatively small request in the home: a certain schedule to be kept; certain housekeeping standards; a child training request; sticking to a particular budget,…all really small requests….but all turn out to be little foxes that spoil. Whether the wife has every intention of doing it when she says she will, the jobs do not get done. The husband, unknowingly, begins to feel resentment. The wife cannot understand why the husband seems to be harboring anger against her. One of the first questions I ask a wife who comes to me with a husband treating her unkindly is this: “Has your husband made any request of you, no matter how small, or how long ago, and you have not complied?”

    But this is not all the Scripture warns us about, wives:

    “That they may teach the young women to be sober,
    to love their husbands, to love their children,”
    Titus 2:4

    Now, listen carefully. We have just read Titus 2:4. Does Titus 2:4 say, “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands as they love their children,”? No, it most certainly does not. Yet we, as women most certainly do love our husbands in the same way we love our children.

    As women equipped with natural, sacrificial, maternal love of a child (whether our own child, or one in nursery, we show that love by feeding the child when he is hungry; caring for the child when he is sick; wiping the child’s face when his is dirty; making sure the child is dressed warmly when it is cold outside; and warning the child to be careful; to call when he arrives at a destination; and to buckle up!

    When we have added the words “AS THEY” to Titus 2:4, when God Himself does not include them, we therefore will also add conflict to our marriages.

    This passage in Titus calls on us older women to teach the younger not only HOW to love their husbands and their children, but the differences in these two types of love. If my slip is showing or I have lipstick smeared on my tooth, please tell me. If your husband’s tie is crooked; his hair is messed; or he has misquoted an unimportant piece of information, he usually does not want to know. God has created him to protect; be strong; command respect; be honorable; and for leadership. Even if your husband is failing completely in all of these God-given characteristics, he will deeply resent the insinuation against his role when you cannot switch gears from your children to your husband.

    I have been in the presence of wives reprimanding their husbands in front of others for forgetting to do something she had asked, or for picking up the wrong brand of a supermarket item. “Doesn’t he KNOW what brand we use?” No, he does not….and ladies, it is not important.

    We speak naturally in our own language of love. When my husband says, “Be careful, the roads are a bit icy,” or he says, “Drive carefully,” I feel loved and protected. It is normal for us then to assume that when we say to our husbands, “Be careful, the roads are a bit icy,” or we say, “Drive carefully,” that he also will feel our love. But God wired him differently. You speak in your native tongue of love. And if you go on with me, you will find, surprising as it sounds, that LOVE is NOT your husband’s native tongue. It is not his primary, first language.

    What is your husband’s first language?

    “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
    Ephesians 5:33

    As Christian women, sitting in church services we have heard Ephesians 5:33 addressed often. But if you pay close attention, it is as if the verse ends with the word himself. “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; In the past 3 years, I have become tremendously burdened to teach this second half of Ephesians 5:33 to women.

    When you begin to reverence your husband –truly & biblically reverence him–you will find that amazing things begin to happen. He is not putting his job before his family; he is doing what God has called him to do. As soon as the husband begins to talk of the job, the wife’s eyes glaze over, and her disinterest in what is so important to him, speaks volumes of disrespect to him. And I warn you, there are women at his workplace who will respect him and listen to him. Listen to your husband when he speaks of his job, and comment in a positive way about this huge element of his life and God-given duty. Tell him you respect what he does and how he provides for his family. As he relates challenges and conflicts at the workplace, listen well, but don’t jump in with how to correct the problems.

    How can we practice these things? Listen to him when he speaks, without interruption and without being negative. Build him up in front of others, and tell others the good things he does. Use the word “respect” instead of the word “love” when you speak to your husband, when you sign a note to him, or a card. “All My Respect for all you do for us, JoAnne” “Honey, I respect so much that you stay at your job every day, no matter how difficult, because you care for me. Thank you.” “Wow, Hon! I really respect your wisdom in what you just suggested.”

    If you can follow these simple commands from Scripture, every problem in your marriage will disappear. Oh, I do not say it will be immediately! Satan does not want us to have strong marriages. But you will see the results as you practice faithfully.

    I am saddened by how many ladies I see posting on this blog. I fear that your time and energy are being distracted from the work God has given you in your married lives! May you resolve today to return to the Lord and serve your husbands with reverence and fear.

    In Jesus’ Love,

    1. 😯 I think I had a flashback. As I read it my mind was supplying that low, condescending tone, and I could just SEE the patronizing stare in my mind!

    2. I can’t understand that mockery here. What is wrong with what this woman is making fun of? Woman are to support and encourage their husbands. Husbands are to love their wives, and wives are to reverence their husbands: there’s nothing wrong with substituting “respect” for “love” in comments from a wife to her husband. That’s a good idea, actually!

      And the little foxes that spoil the vine are indeed applicable to marriage. She’s not saying that husbands don’t have their own “little foxes,” but she’s not talking to husbands. A woman who isn’t submissive and ready to please is sinning, according to God’s Word.

  14. If this were a competition, I think the palm would have to go to Pastor Fred. He’s definitely got the most people riled up; in a thread where we all know people are supposed to be pretending to be trolls! I love it.

  15. TRUTH FOR THOUGHT~ If the Church you attend is NON King James Bible believing, NO hell fire and brimstone preaching, NO swinging of the arms, soul stirring hymnal singing, and FAILING to fulfill The Great Commission by having week long revival services in the summer. Then you should reconsider your Church home. These WARNINGS are in the BIBLE. 2 Timothy 4:1-4 “I charge thee therefore before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, who shall judge the quick and the dead at his appearing and his kingdom; Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.” Other ref: Eph. 5:19, IS. 58:1, and Matt. 28:18-20 etc.

    1. Um, the Great Commission Jesus apparently forgot to mention the week long revival services. Read it yourself,even the worst available English translation (the King James Version) doesn’t have anything about weeklong revival services in the Great Commission. I’m telling you the non-Christian religions section in the forum is a much safer place for you to make this junk up.

        1. Oh come on. Darrell is TRYING to give himself away here. Fundy Fred = Darrell Dow.

  16. Blogs are evil.

    You people are obviously bitter.

    If you have a problem with me or something I did, you should confront me personally.

    If you were out soulwinning like you should be, you wouldn’t have time to play around on the internet.

  17. I find it amusing that you Chosen People can believe your heretical doctrine even though it has no Biblical basis whatsoever but you cannot bring yourselves to believe the clear teaching of the Bible about preaching.

    Romans 10: How shall they hear without a preacher
    Matthew 12: They repented at the preaching of Jonas
    I Cor 2: Paul’s preaching was a demonstration of the power of God!

    I could go on and on proving my point about the primacy of preaching in God’s plan. All I know is, when you stand up behind that sacred desk and open that blessed old book you are literally standing in the place of God! That congregation looks up and they don’t see you, they see God! It about makes me need to have a shouting spell just thinking about it.

    I know why you Chosenists don’t like preaching. The preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness, that is why. No, you want some scrawny little fruit-loop with a goatee and a Hawaiian shirt to sit on a bar stool and share with you, right before you head off to your Small Minds Groups. Funny thing is, the Bible never mentions the man of God sharing anything, only preaching! God didn’t call me to share. He called me to preach!

    The world hates preaching. I don’t know how many times I have been threatened by the world over my preaching. Three weeks ago they threatened to arrest me because I was preaching about the abomination of sodomite marriage in front of the European Parliament in Strasbourg. The national socialist polic force said I was blocking the sidewalk and that I needed a permit. I told them that I didn’t need a permit to preach. They said that they would have to arrest me then so I left. I didn’t want to have to share a jail cell with any French perverts, even if I did get to witness to them. I know that all of this is just a ruse of Satan to stymie the preaching of the Word to a sinful world.

    God chose by the foolishness of preaching to save them that believe. You can make fun, you can mock, you can scorn all you like but you cannot get away from the clear teaching of the Bible! God uses preaching to save people!

    If you would get alone with your King James and God for about a week. Just you, King James and God alone you would come out a hell-fire and damnation, sinner-loving, sin-hating, separated, soulwinning, hymn-singing Baptist and you know it. That is why you are afraid of the King James and its power. Yet you come to this site week after week, month after month because you are fascinated by old-time religion. You know you made a mistake when you left so you have to come here and tear down the old-time way to validate yourself and your bad decisions.

    You can mock me and the love that I am trying to show you all you like. I will never apologize or back down from being an old-time Baptist preacher. What would I be if I weren’t a Baptist? I’d be ashamed. And so should you.

    1. Let me resond by reposting here:

      ah, as always the fundies miss the context of their prooftexts.

      Preaching is not the power of God and preaching does not save anyone. Preaching is an action, a verb if you will, and much like faith it is only as good and effective as its subject.

      In your latest posting you make power the subject when the scripture you quote clearly makes the Gospel, vis-à-vis the cross, the subject. “For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God.
      Preaching is not the power of God, the message of the Gospel is the power of God. By making the act of preaching the power of God you make God secondary and elevate the preacher to preeminence.

      1 Corinthians 1:23-25 “But we preach Christ crucified, unto the Jews a stumbling block, and unto the Greeks foolishness; But unto them which are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God, and the wisdom of God. Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men.

      Clearly it is not the act of preaching that is the power of God but the message of the Gospel of Christ, which is the power. And clearly we see that it is only efficacious to those whom God calls. Acts 2:38-39 “Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. For the promise is unto you, and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call.” Romans 1:6 Paul designates believe as “the called” of Jesus Christ.(clearly putting the emphasis on the work of Christ not the works of men)

      Listen to the beauty of God’s grace in Romans 8:28-30, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified. That is such an anchor of assurance of salvation, knowing it is God who had established our salvation and it is God who called us to salvation. When you anchor to the Power of God that is faith unto salvation because that is faith in God and not yourself, rather than, “Oh was I sincere enough when I went to the altar? Did I say the right word? Was I humble enough? Did I really, really, sincerely mean it? Am I saved?” the works that you do and the decisions you make,. It knocks the preacher off his pedestal and puts God back in the proper view.

    2. 1 Corinthians 1:17-31
      For Christ did not send me to baptize but to preach the gospel, and not with words of eloquent wisdom, lest the cross of Christ be emptied of its power.

      Christ the Wisdom and Power of God

      18 For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. 19 For it is written,

      “I will destroy the wisdom of the wise,
      and the discernment of the discerning I will thwart.”

      20 Where is the one who is wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? 21 For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, it pleased God through the folly of what we preach to save those who believe. 22 For Jews demand signs and Greeks seek wisdom, 23 but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and folly to Gentiles, 24 but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. 25 For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.

      26 For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; 28 God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, 29 so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. 30 And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, 31 so that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.”

    3. Sacred desk=God is self idolization.
      That may be the least scriptural idea of all of your pseudo-bible yet. Unless it’s your worship of King James. You do know he is dead and isn’t a god, don’t you?

      Paul’s preaching if you will read the complete passage, is a proclamation of the Gospel. He goes on to say he is not trying to persuade, but proclaim and show Christ. This is something most IFB preachers fail to do. (Show Christ in demontration-1 Cor. 2:4,5) Read the Gospels and Book of Acts. Read the way Christ and the disciples shared the Gospel. There is no yelling, no name-calling, nor any emotional stories.

      Just so you will know, I am an ordained preacher (not the pastor, though) in an Independent Baptist Church. I also have a beard and am not KJVO, nor do I claim to be a Calvinist, though I have many friends who claim to be. They have a testimony of accepting Christ as their Savior after a realization of their being a sinner in need. They also believe in the Great Commission that as they go through life they are to share the Gospel. Since Christ commanded it, and they do not know who the “elect” are, it is their responsibility.

      My personal belief is that once you accept Christ, you become the elect. My [Calvinist]friends believe only the elect can be saved. Either way, we are to “Go and preach the Gospel of Christ.” Not the “gospel” of separatism or King James.

      Fred, I challenge you to read and heed John 13:34, 35.

      1. I’m not a Calvinist but a lot of my friends are. Please. That is the same old tired line that racists everywhere use.

        You must have been ordained in one of those liberal, so-called independent Baptist churches. A real pastor would tell you to throw out that perversion, shave off your face lace and look like a real man.

  18. I do not know who this Fundy Fred is. It is amazing how many of us old-time preachers have the same names. That is probably a product of our Godly mothers spending so much time before the throne of grace that they started to think alike. Anyway, bless you brother and your ministry.

    1. Pastor Fred – I can only hope that at some point you come clean and out yourself. Whether you are Pastor Deacon Fred from Landover Baptist or just one of us SFLers, let me say Bravo!

      1. Please don’t disrespect my husband lest the bears of wickedness come from out the wilderness and tear you asunder, so to speak. While God may not use literal bears any longer, we trust that He protects His children, nonetheless, and my darling Fred and I pray earnestly for each and every one of your souls. I pray, in particular, for these young wives and mothers who have gone so horribly astray and are not home caring for their husbands and children, as He has called them.

        I’ll pray for you, my dear sisters-in-Christ, that God will burden your hearts to come back to Him, and meanwhile, I’ll stand by my husband, Pastor Fred, and you mockers will one day be called to stand before the judgement seat to pay for what you do here unless you repent!!!

  19. this message is for all you PARENTS out there. although, if you are spending your time on a godless liberal sight like this one, you probably do not care where you are are headed, you should care whether your CHILDREN are headed to HEAVEN or HELL. Especially if they have not yet reached the age of ACCOUNTABILITY, then that means YOU are responsible for them if they die. So, I ask you, parent. How about your child? Have certain words been creeping into his vocabulary? Words like “Cool?” Now we all know that the Beatles coined the words “Cool,” and thus the word is an abomination to the LORD, bless God? How about when you go to Walmart? Observe your child’s behavior. Does he beg for toys like ACTION FIGURES? Does your daughter beg for BARBIES? Now we all know that action figures are really man dolls, and Barbies are created to turn your daughter into a sex object. Now if you want to raise your son to be a PANSY or your daughter to be a FLOOZY, then go right ahead. But if you care about the next generation of America, bless God, you better get yourself down to that old-fashioned altar and do some repenting.
    What about how your child speaks to you? Does he address you as “sir” or “ma’am?” The Bible says honor thy father and mother, in the good old days children had their HIDES TANNED for not respectin’ their parents. Next thing they’ll be saying in “so’s your old man.”

      1. @Don–I sure wish I knew if I/we was/were having a real discussion, or if I have been taken in by a brilliant Poe. I’m thinking I’ve been had. That’s what I get for getting a technical degree from an IFB institution. If only I had a pure Bible degree from a Basement College, and not just many Bible electives from Fundy U, I’d be better able to discern.

        I’m off to the [public] library. I’m sure no good thing can come of that.

        1. I believe we’ve been had. But I wanted to make sure and post truth along side his error just in case. I wouldn’t want his error to stand unchallenged even if it is brilliant work of Poe parody.

  20. Oh, scorners, you mock now, but think, if not for your own souls, for those of your children. Watch for the telltale signs of corruption!
    When Jesus was a child he NEVER corrected his parents like modern children do. That is, er, well, I mean . . .
    And while you’re examining your children, turn your eye upon yourself. Do you hand your baby a bottle every time he cries? Shame on you! Do you resort to such liberal forms of “discipline” as time-outs while sparing the rod? Oh friends . . . I tremble for this nation!

  21. “Pastor Fred” you say a lot of good things. It’s too bad you are such a jaded, demented, cynical person that you can only mock Christianity in your satirical posts. If you ever grew up and didn’t wallow in pity that your parents were Christians, maybe you’d actually gain some maturity. The same goes for you most of the posters on this board. Hey, we get it: Your parents are Christians and therefore they suck. Has it ever occurred to any of you to actually get on with your lives and not wallow in pity because your lives were “ruined” because your parents were Christians? It’s amazing how many of the posters on here must be in their 30’s and 40’s and even senior citizens, and yet you are so obsessed with how much your parents sucked because they were Christians. Have any of you ever possibly considered actually living your own lives and getting over it? Has it ever occurred to anyone here that maybe you can go to a movie, now that you’re 55 years old? Have you ever considered trying to be adults instead of being obsessed with your teen years and never actually growing up and moving on?

    1. Who said they were upset because their parents were Christians?

      (or are you a poe too? As enjoyable as this thread has been, its somewhat confusing at times…)

  22. 2 Timothy 3 tells that all who will live Godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution. But evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived.
    Well, if that doesn’t sum up the purpose of this site I don’t know what does. The whole tone of this site is to persecute those of us who choose to live Scripturally. You people on this site remind me of the verse that says: professing themselves to be wise they became fools. You are changing the truth of God into a lie (Calvinism) and worshipping the creature (Calvin) more than the Creator.

    I came here in a spirit of humility to try and show some of you the errors of your ways. I have been amazed at the hate that has been hurled at me. I have been called names and have been the recipient of vile suggestions. I have shown you nothing but love and compassion and you repay me with hate. It is as the Bible says, all who live Godly will suffer persecution. The sad thing is, I have not been persecuted by the world on this site. Oh no! The persecution has come from “Christians”. That is the shameful part.

    Aren’t you the tiniest bit ashamed of how you have behaved towards me? What have I even done other than quote Scripture to you? Does a parent who corrects their child not love their child?

    It is not surprising that all of you have rebelled against the Godly authorities in your lives. You have been seduced by the attractions of this world. In truth, that is all Calvinism is–the seduction of the world. It is hard to be a sold-out soul-winner. It is easier to sit on your couch at home and be a Calvinist. But that is not the Bible way.

    Those of you on here bashing the King James Bible need to remember that you are parroting Satan when you say Yea, hath God said? I make no apologies for believing in God’s preserved, infallible Word. You can compromise all you like but some of us are going to keep on using the King James.

    No, this isn’t going to be my last post. As soon as I can find it I am going to post a link to a video about my ministry. That will be my last post on this sinful site.

        1. I only wish I was that good. To stay in character that long. Long live the King! King Poe “Pastor Fred!”

  23. I had a perfect post, but it didn’t get posted… I didn’t use my name, but a made-up pastor’s name, so I guess it didn’t pass validation.

    Darrell – if you can find it, it was by Pastor Roger Edacity.

  24. No, I am not “the” Pastor Fred but in honor of all the persecution and meanness he has suffered, I declare this “I am Pastor Fred Day.” Stand with Pastor Fred in Solidarity and be Pastor Fred today.

      1. You sir are a genius!
        I was had in a most spectacular fashion! I am in awe of your work here. Most impressive!
        I had to hedge my bets and go all serious (even in jest I can’t give error that blatant a free pass) but it was a masterful performance!

        Long live the King!

        1. Any newbies coming on the site and reading it will be able to hear your answers, Don, which ARE important!

          I just didn’t know who was real or not!

  25. To clear things up:
    I am not Don, Darrell or Shoes.
    I am a long-time reader and very occasional commenter on this site.
    I am a shaving-averse, ESV reading, Calvinist in my 30s.
    I have only ever yelled at my wife once. That was to get her attention in a life-threatening situation.

    Being Pastor Fred has been fun but I think the joke has run its course. I thought it would be a one-off product of too much pizza and beer. Thinking like a fundy again made me hit the Jim Beam pretty hard last night. Ironically, that is the second time in my life that thinking like a fundy has driven me to drink.

    I apologize to anyone I have offended by my comments. I meant NONE OF THEM Thanks for the fun. Now I will slink off back into anonymity from whence I came.

    1. The only way someone could convince so many people he wasn’t a Poe on a day when we’re all SUPPOSED to be Poes…is to be brilliant.

      I was pretty amused by how serious this whole thread got. 😆

    2. Ah yes Bravo! Although I have to say, when I came back today to read the additional comments, the crazy facial hair beard rant gave you away. I was going to call you out, but it appears that you’d already let the cat out of the back. Awesome!

  26. Hey everyone! I’m starting a new religion! I’m going to call it Pastor Fredians. You are all a bunch of sinners and despicable, but you can be saved by trusting me and doing everything I tell you. Congratulations, don’t even think about stepping out of line though!

  27. As a mad man who casteth firebrands, arrows, and death, So is the man that deceiveth his neighbour, and saith, Am not I in sport?

    Aaaggghhh! I can’t shake the spirit of Pastor Fred Poe!!!!!!!!

  28. One last comment before I take Pastor Fred behind the barn and shoot him: I seriously do not know who was doing the Fundy Fred riff but you are welcome to the obnoxious little character if you like. I am generous with my personalities since I have lots.

    1. Pastor Fred,

      I, Fundy Fred, have been around for a while. I had to take a sabbatical due to a poor heart condition because I’m overweight. You see, it all came about when I got fired up during one of my monumental sermons on the sinfulness of smoking and drinking. Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Ghost! You can’t be a good Christian and smoke and/or drink! Our bodies belong to Christ! Amen!

  29. Longtime reader, firsttime commenter.
    I don’t know who’s real, and who’s pretending to be, but I find it difficult to believe that a sincere Christian would mock God’s holy name for the sake of a few cheap laughs.
    I’m an Independent Baptist and proud of it. I love and obey my pastor because he’s God’s Man for our community.
    I’m praying that some of you would repent, change your hearts, and find something else to do with your time besides mock other believers and muckrake rumours about preachers.

      1. Of course sir. I am thoroughly convinced in the inspired King James Biiiible and the man o Gawd jack hyles and his 😈 spawned ofspring jack schaap. I must now go and shave of my sinful mutton chops. Pull up my britches. Sell all my books written after 1950 to avoid the evil of Calvinism. And then go find me a Proverbs 31 woman to satisfy my needs in my belly and my other circumcised extremity.

        And sir, thank you for your holy spirit conviction which looks nothing like a man who cannot avoid fights and quarrels and hides behind “God tole mee so!!”

  30. Okay, I just had to add one more poe before this thing ends – not that I could outdo Pastor Fred of course! I wrote this during (required for work) Fundy Church this morning. It goes to the tune of “Bringing in the Sheaves”.

    As you hear the preacher,
    preaching strong and righteous,
    preaching social issues from the KJB,
    If you sit there cringing,
    Your spirit bruised and broken,
    Don’t touch the Lord’s anointed
    and show you’re worldly!

    Sowing bitter seeds, sowing bitter seeds,
    playing on the world wide web,
    you’re sowing bitter seeds.
    Sowing bitter seeds, sowing bitter seeds,
    God will judge and smite you
    for sowing bitter seeds!

    And all God’s people said? 😯

  31. Can anyone who is intelligent, sensitive, with a a healthy personality ever want to meet, or talk with or even have lunch with Pastor Fred? Imagine that conversation? Plus, you would probably want to get away from him as fast as possible.

    There is a saying that “you brighten up a room when you come in.” For Pastor Fred, it is the opposite, and that is when you leave.

    This Pastor is loathsome, not winsome. There got to be several descriptions of him in the Diagnostic Statistical Manuel that apply to and for him.

    There is nothing good in him, and he should be avoided and shunned by normal people everywhere at all times. He is hateful. Good representative – for sure – of the Lord. That is, pushing people away from the Lord.

    He belongs in a church, only.

    People and kids I am sure cross over to the other side of the street knowing the blowhard is there.

  32. I thought for sure this was a site Id NEVER post on, but THE HOLY GHOST is telling me to preach to truth to all the scorners her so that the TRUTH, THE WHOLW TRUTH AND NOTING BUT THE TRUTH shall be hearsd! You have all gotten caught in the DEVILS SNARE!!
    Its SHAMEFUL teh way you all call rightougs CHRISTIANS trolls when they come to tell yu the TRUTH about your singful ways! when you PREETEND to be someone to laugh at like in this post you finally sound like REAL CHISTIANS!!!!! I’d rather be saved and be mocked by bitter FOOLS likeyou, than to have such bitter hate in my heart as yuou do. WHY do you hate Gods people????????How can you bare to mock christians who just try to live life accoringto Gods rules in the Scriptures, like whering modest clothing, listening to Godly music, and not blindly following whats said on the HELLIVISION and by the femi-nazis????????? Whats wrong with youu when you HATE (!!!!)THE CHURCH that JESUS HIMSELF founded and only love those who try to make fun of the good people that come to witness to you????+??The LORD HIMSELF says Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter And that is just what you do her in post after post.You need to REPENT from such wickedness, STOP READING THIS SITE ad read the good old KING JAMES Bible!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!1611!!!!! And thats just the beginning: You have to STOP beliving that GOD will just love you no matter what you do HE IS VERY ANGRY when people sin like you do and you will go to HELL. Its hot ther and the worms wont be nice eether!!!! You need to think a bti more about that my friends. Go listen to some old-fahioned preeching theres pleny on the interned (thatll keep you away from looking at your dirty internet pornograghy—-)

    I am so grieved to my heart by what i read here and i am so concerned for you i will PRAY for you that you will be SAVED by the LORD JESUS CHRIST!!1!!! Heres some help for hyou: DO NOT DELAY YOUR DECISION TO CHRIST! SATAN WOULD BE DELIGHTED!!!!!!!!!!!! THE RAPTURE COULD HAPPEN TOMORROW ADN THEN WHAT WOULD BE COME OF YOU??? think about that, and turn from you wicked ways before its to late.

    Spoken iN LOVE,
    Daughter of the KING OF KINGS (saved at age 3)

    1. I thought this was hilarious satire at first, but I don’t think anyone can fake horrendous grammar & spelling like that. It’s not possible to be that thoroughly atrocious on purpose is it?

      For the record, God wasn’t even as angry as you describe at Nineveh, I’m pretty sure he’s fine with blog commenters who make a little fun of idiots.

      Also, anyone that came here looking for pornography is incredibly bad at google, and extremely poorly served.

  33. Local community wonders if pastor’s death was ‘foreordained’
    Fresno, June 6th 2012
    Jim Shackley

    Police today are investigating the circumstances surrounding the mysterious death of local pastor Fred Poe. Pastor Poe was found this morning in his office at his church King James Baptist Church in Bakersfield.

    Detectives assigned to the case reported that Pastor Fred was shot execution style once in the back of the head. A spokeswoman for the Bakersfield police department, Sgt. Julie Hernandez was quoted as saying that the shooting had all of the trademarks of the Calvinist Mafia.
    Police noted that all that was missing from the office was the manuscript of a book that Pastor Poe was writing about Calvinism. An unnamed source close to the investigation told reporters “Pastor Poe got too close to the Calvinist’s secrets. We believe the order for the hit came all the way from the top. Maybe even from Piper himself.” John “Lead Pipe” Piper has been linked to several such actions in the past but has so far escaped prosecution.

    FBI sources that have penetrated the Calvinist organization report that under certain circumstances an elite Election Squad will be dispatched to silence any critics who are about to disprove Calvinism. “The Calvinists do this to intimidate their rivals. We see more and more pastors becoming Calvinists due to fear” said FBI spokesman Dirk Bennett.

    The desk clerk at the Four Aces Inn near the scene of the shooting reported that three bearded men checked into the motel last night. “I asked them what they were doing in town” Larry Pereira said. “One of them said that I shouldn’t ask questions I didn’t really want to know the answer to and then flipped back his coat to show me an ESV stuck in his waistband. I knew right then to shut up quick.” Police believe the men may have information about the crime. They are to be considered armed and dangerous.

    Fred Poe is survived by his wife Wanda and their Chihuahua, Five Points. The Poes were missionaries in the Czech Republic until 2011 when they were asked to leave. A spokesman for the Czech embassy refused to comment citing privacy concerns. Pastor Poe then returned to his hometown of Bakersfield to found a church citing the pressing need for churches in the area. He frequently traveled back to the Czech Republic to teach in a Bible College that he founded there.

    The church that Pastor Poe started is located in a small strip mall near the 99 freeway. It is sandwiched in between a nail salon and a tattoo parlor. An impromptu crowd of mourners had gathered at the church as soon as they heard the news. Parishioner Deborah Strong “Pastor Fred was such a good man. He touched a lot of lives in this area. Not just here either, he preached on the streets in Buttonwillow, Visalia, Hanford and even Fresno but never LA. He said he didn’t like it when people yelled back at him.“

    Police informed me that the FBI has already been called in due to the likelihood of the perpetrators fleeing the area. “ If there is any hope of cracking this baffling case it will have to be the FBI to do it” Sgt Hernandez stated. Many such cases have gone unresolved despite the FBI’s strong suspicion as to who is responsible. Police do have some leads to follow up on. Sgt Hernandez reported that Fred Poe had spent a great deal of time over the last few days debating with Calvinists on a website. The FBI plan to contact the other participants for questioning and a warrant has already been issued.

    When reached by phone for comment an unidentified spokesman for the Calvinists just laughed and said regarding Poe’s death “Oh well. I guess if it was meant to be it was just meant to be” and hung up.

  34. Pastor Fred has come in a close second to Camp Meeting Girl. I miss her. I was hoping she’d come out on this thread, but I guess she’s really not mean enough to “blast the entire place.” But CMG…whoever you are…you’re the best.

  35. There’s a lot of stupid comments posted here, along with some good testimony. Pastor Fred, wherever you are. the Lord will bless you for your work correcting these proud, foolish souls.

    But there is one thing which has to be said, has to be taught. The Lord has burdened me to warn you all. While you people seem to revel in your apparent freedom (Really, you’re all in bondage to sin. You set yourseLf against God’s infallible word in his KJV, you mock the MEN he has sent and set over you. You all indulge in heresies. You are all, in short, workers for the Apostate church. The Great Whore of Babylon. Mother “Rome”. Only the Pope of Rome and his jesuitical fanatics could inspire such a site.

    I do beleive that he has sent his agents into bible beleiving, holy, churches obedient to his word, and perverted them into the cesspools of liberalism and license we see today. He has perverted your mminds to set you against the gosepl which he hates. Only the pope (who sees himself to be above the bible and even above the Lord Jesus) would inspire such mockery of the Word of God. He wants to keep peopl from actually READING IT, and UNDERSTANDING what it really means. If you people did, you would be converted. Instead, he and his Congregation for Doctrine have churned out perverted “bibles”, sold them to well meaning pastors (and to his jesuit play actors) and slowly rotted the minds of Christians until the produced Rome’s greatest triumph, the episcopal “church”.

    I don’t doubt that the few of you who think you are Christians are members of the episcopal “church”. It has everything Rome and you people want: Women thinking they have authority over men, doctrinal license and heresy,the Lavendar Mafia and their crusade to melt the minds and morla compass of our young, and their communist liberal democrat agenda. You people don’t see that, and you can’t. There is wisdom and knowledge in the scriptures, and you people have no scriptures. Your scriptures are about as inspired as my phone books, man made translations with a man made gospel. You leave out God because he makes you uncomfortable.

    I’m warning you, open up your king james BIBLE, the REAL BIBLE, and GET OUT OF HER.The pope of rome and his cardinals only want to lead you straight to hell, where their father the devil is awaiting you. Open your eyes.Get in an independant, bible beleiving, KJV preaching, soul saving church. Lay aside your foolishness and know God.

    1. Bro. Tate, have you ever seen the French equvalent of the True Bible, the KJV? Or the German? The the 1611 King James Bible the only true Word of God?

  36. Pul Best, I have seen and known god fearing christians in india, pakistan and china who read and understood the KJV. That puts a wrench also in the claim some people make that it’s “too hard” for english speakers to understand, how do non-english speakers understand it? If God wanted to inspire another version of the bible, why would he let all of the other translations remove parts of the bible, add others and translate hard sayings so that they don’t say what he wants them to say? He did not inspire other translations because these other translators are working with satan AGAINST the gospel.

      1. I see now that pastor fred was a fake. I should have read further. But I am not a fake. If you don;t ebelive me, just get in contact with Sis. Laura at Holy Cross Baptist church in West Philadelphia, right on 63rd. She’ll let you know who I am. I’ve been preaching the Lord’s burden on me ever since the alliance between the papists at Our Lady of Lords roman catholic church and St.Thomas Episcopal began. Both of these congregations exemplify what I’m talking about. These roman catholics have their services in LATIN. They have no bibles and tell people NOT to interpret the bible for themselves. And what happened? St.Thomas has a fake, false worship style that looks Christian but hides their false doctrines.

        Oh, they’ll sing godly hymns,they’ll invite preachers from other christian churches, but they beleive in the diabolical doctrines of the mass sacrifice and the sacrificing priest. they have their mary worship in May and their wafer worship was this past sunday. They did none of these thins till their alliance. And it’s no surprise with the Jesuit run college. Have you people even looked at the pope of rome and looked at the presiding “bishop” of the episcopal church? she dressed like her lord the pope, she even carries a cross like him. She’s his lackey, here in the U.S to spread his lies under the appearance of a Christian church. She knows it will work because her “church” uses the KJV (Although with the option to use perverted “bibles”) and that people will hear what they think is God’s word, not knowing that it is being twisted and lied about by people who do know better.

        1. Are you any kin to Fox Mulder?

          “You can deny all the things I’ve seen, all the things that I’ve discovered. But not for much longer. ‘Cause too many others know what’s happening out there. And no one—no government(or church) agency—has jurisdiction over the truth.” -Fox Mulder

  37. Back in April I was at the big conference at Temple Baptist in Powell when a friend told me about this website. I didn’t have a chance to come check it out till now. Well I was warned.

    Do you not know that men will give account for every idle word that they speak? As a mad man who casteth firebrands, arrows, and death, so is the man that deceiveth his neighbour, and saith, Am not I in sport? You people are making a mockery of God, of sincere Christians, of evangelism, of modesty of nearly everything that people of faith love. And you seem to be calling yourselves Christians while you do it. This filthy jesting is an offence to every true believer the way you are pretending to speak for us and twisting the truth to justify yourselfs and the wisdom of this world.

    I have been with true men of God like Brother Robinson and Brother Pope who have a heart for the gospel. They’re trying to energize God’s people to bring the truth to upstate New York, and meanwhile people like you are wasting your time and energy in mocking other Christians. And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

    But I have a few things against thee, because thou hast there them that hold the doctrine of Balaam, who taught Balac to cast a stumblingblock before the children of Israel. I’m not surprised to see Calvinists here at the forefront of mockery. And I can’t end without a warning about them. John Calvin was the worst thing to ever happen to the church. They claim to glorify God while they pull the rug out from under eveyrone who evangelises and loves others and wants to see them saved.

    I’m not sure I want to read any more but I might comment in a few more places. But I couldn’t leave here without admonishing you about your sinful jesting and mockery. (This is the third time I’m trying to post here and it doesn’t go through. I guess you don’t want answer anyone real).

    1. You people are making a mockery of God,

      No, we make a mockery of the Men of (g)od who make a mockery of God. The ones who have made their fortune and built their ministry on numbers, false conversions, easy believeism, and idolized themselves while establishing a cult of their personality, and preached a false doctrine of works salvation and works sanctification. It is truly a rare thing when one of these empire builders actually humbles themsleves and steps aside to reveal the God of all creation. I understand it does happen occasionally.

      What are you more concerned with? That God is glorified or that men are glorified?

      It still amazes me when a real fundie stumbles on to SFL and immediately sets about straightening us out.

      And what is this rabid obsession fundies have with John Calvin? I seriously doubt one in a thousand have ever read his Systematic Theological work, “The Institutes of the Christian Religion.” but John Calvin is somehow to be considered the protestant antichrist according to fundies. Attack the man so that you can setup a strawman genetic fallacy.

      Well, all I know is Calvin believed in a Completely Sovereign God who all creation is subject to. That seems to be the real sticking point with the rabid anti-calvin folks. If what Calvin says concerning the sovereignty of God is so, then it will knock those who have pulled themselves up by their bootstraps off the thrones they have usurped and they will have to answer to that Absolute Sovereign. If God is Sovereign then all that time wasted in church growth programs, and building up the numbers, and the epoch war stories with these false teachers bragging about how many they have personally led to the LORD, all of it, all of it will be consumed in a flash as wood hay and stubble. (and yes, mine as well)

      I will answer for my deeds as each and every one of us will. But I will answer for myself and if any Fundie fanatic dares to think that they will be sitting in the bleachers sporting a smug smile of satisfaction when I stand before God… then I pity your wretched soul.

      1. Maybe you think Fundamentalists have this “rabid obsession” because there are so many of you out rabidly attacking good people who love Jesus and making people think they can sin all they like because of grace and destroying evangelism. It you who are out attacking the power of preaching and aying people don’t have to have been sincere when they got saved.

        Now you don’t like church growth programs? That’s what we’re here for! To “make disciples, teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.”

        People have to be told, and sometimes they have to be pushed to accept the truth! They have to decide, and they have to be sincere when they pray for Jesus to come into their hearts. For he saith, I have heard thee in a time accepted, and in the day of salvation have I succoured thee: behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation. Of course God is soverign, but He sovereignly chooses to let men decide to follow Him or not. Look at all the passages where He reasons with people and encourages them to make the right decision!

        I won’t be looking at you with smug satisfaction. We’re all sinners saved by Jesus Christ. But there’s someone else who’ll judge youl:Now if any man build upon this foundation gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, stubble; Every man’s work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man’s work of what sort it is. If any man’s work abide which he hath built thereupon, he shall receive a reward. If any man’s work shall be burned, he shall suffer loss: but he himself shall be saved; yet so as by fire. I don’t want my works burnt up in that great Judgment Day, do you?

        1. Works, works, works
          All kinds of fail here, where to start?

          attacking the power of preaching and aying(sic… ’em george) people don’t have to have been sincere when they got saved.

          Yes, I am calling out this idea that preaching saves. It doesn’t. Preaching is only as efficacious as the message it declares. In most fundie churches they preach moralism not Christ. They preach extra-biblical standards not the Gospel. They preach man-centered, man-initiated salvation not the sufficiency of Jesus Christ’s work and the Father’s will. (Titus 3:5, John 1:12-14 we see salvation is by the will and mercy of God not the will and decision of man)

          Preaching a false, decisional gospel where God is bound by the decisions of his creation portrays a very small, very weak god who is subject to his creation rather than the Creator God of the universe by whom all things live, breathe, grow and exist.

          Now you don’t like church growth programs? That’s what we’re here for!

          See what I mean? No, we’re not here to put people in the pew nor does scripture tell us to grow churches. Our commission is to be witnesses to the person of Jesus Christ declare the Gospel of Christ and show his love, in other words, be his witness to what HE has done. Just because one has the ability to manipulate someone into saying the so-called sinner’s prayer does not mean that the person being coerced is saved. How many altar athletes have saved themselves every time they get under conviction? Fearful that they have not been sincere enough, prayed enough, done enough? Why is that? I submit mainly because the “preaching” they hear is shallow, and error ridden. It is filled, as I said, with moralism, man made standards and based on the works of man, not the finished work of Christ.

          People have to be told, and sometimes they have to be pushed to accept the truth! They have to decide, and they have to be sincere when they pray for Jesus to come into their hearts.

          Pushed to accept the truth? Maybe at sword point even?
          Wow, do you not see you doctrine of Man-centeredness? This doctrine has man trumping God and making God subject to his creation with every point you make here. You make a self defeating statement: “Of course God is sovereign, but He sovereignly chooses to let men decide to follow Him or not.” So God is sovereign except when he’s not?

          My final point: Because of your man-centered approach to Christian moralism you come on to a site like this and you take it upon yourself to “straighten” everyone out. You work from the (may I say erroneous) theory that people have to be cleaned up and brought to God and/or people just have to be beat with the truth until it sinks in. Either way it denies the power of God in salvation and the Christian life. In the end you are saying that if we don’t do it like you do it then we are not right with God.

          Why don’t you take a good look around in here. See what we’re all about and get to know us. I would be happy to engage in further discussion in the forum. That would be a much more effective approach than this hit-and-run type of judgmental evangelism.

        2. Don, I love ya. You’re my favorite poster around here. That’s why when you wrote this to Bro. Tate:

          “You’ll never be able to out POE Pastor Fred.
          But thanks for playing”

          I took it as a personal challenge to see if people who were gotten by Pastor Fred could be still gotten just once more. Before then I wasn’t planning to try my hand at the POE, because I didn’t think I could do it.

          Praise God for His marvelous grace in Christ, grace that is greater than all my sins. I agree with everything you’ve said.

          Grace, ’tis a charming sound,
          Harmonious to mine ear;
          Heaven with the echo shall resound,
          And all the earth shall hear.

          Grace first contrived the way
          To save rebellious man;
          And all the steps that grace display
          Which drew the wondrous plan.

          Grace led my roving feet
          To tread the heavenly road;
          And new supplies each hour I meet,
          While pressing on to God.

          Grace taught my soul to pray
          And made mine eyes o’erflow;
          ’Twas grace which kept me to this day,
          And will not let me go.

          Grace all the work shall crown,
          Through everlasting days;
          It lays in heaven the topmost stone,
          And well deserves the praise.

          Mark Mayes (The poster formerly known as Miriam)

        3. I LOVE IT!

          I have no POE discernment. I have been had and I have enjoyed this thread more than any in a long time.


  38. I find it funny that God burdens people to set SfL-ers straight yet not once do you see anyone being burdened by God to set someone straight in the Bible. EXCEPT in Corinthians and Galatians where Paul is reminding the churches he started who they actually serve. But hey thanks for your ministry.

  39. I AM SO MODEST AND PURE1!!!!!!! MY daughters wear frumpers and plain shoes and the boys are clothed in dockers and not sinfull polo type shirts. i USE THE MAXWELLS’ (TITUS2.COM/BLOG) “MANAGERS OF THIER HOMES” curriculum. i THINK IT’S SO GODLY THAT THE LOCAL MAN OF GAWD WANTS TO TUTOR MY HUSBAND AND PROMOTES HOMESTEADING. We are tkaing our television to the dump tonite and the PAstor Steve Anderson will bash it with a hammer and chainsaw. I like macaroni and cheese but the symbols on the Kraft boxes are sinfull and are harmful to developing Christians like me and my 39 children. The goats need milking.
    ^ That, my friends is something psychologists call “flight of ideas, or stream of consciousness”.

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