Friday Challenge: Movie Titles

Today’s challenge is to alter a movie title to make it more attractive to an audience of fundamentalists.

Here are a few to start:

‘Gentlemen Prefer Blondes Who Dress Modestly’

‘The Cider House Rules Are Not Written Down Anywhere But You Should Obey Them Anyway’.

‘The 10,000 Commandments’

(many thanks to John who sent in this suggestion and most of the examples)

492 thoughts on “Friday Challenge: Movie Titles”

  1. Grumpy Old White Men
    Grumpier Older, Righter Men
    Wives and Daughters (Should Obey)
    Gone Baby Gone: Why We Must Be Stop Planned Parenthood
    Diary of a Soul-Winning Kid
    The Pink Panther
    Last Man Standing Should Have Repented

  2. Preachers of the Caribbean
    Harry Potter burns the Sorcerer’s Stone
    The Chronicles of Narnia: The Jesus Analog, The Unrepentant Woman, and the Storage Facility for my Ankle-Length Skirts.

  3. Man of Gawd Almighty
    Clueless College Students
    Angry White Women
    How Purple Was My Rodeheaver
    Bend It Like Chuck Phelps
    Somewhere in Time: BJU edition
    BJU Treasure: Book of Secrets

  4. Sorry if any of these have been used already:

    “Greenville” (chicago)
    “I know what you did last summer (because our undercover chaperones saw you) ”
    “The Network (doesn’t exist)”
    “Written Up” (knocked up)

    Can I toss in tv shows?
    “MacLynchver”
    “The Hyles'” (waltons)

  5. “Pulp Fiction” – the writings of BULL GIPP
    “White Chicks” – Sermons against interracial dating
    “Scary Movie” – sermons from the Masters of IFB Hyles, Jones, Roloff, Gipp, Kidd….
    “Superman: The Movie” – A pastor appreciation flick
    “Diary of a Nymphomaniac” –the David Hyles Story
    “Scream” – a movie series based on people waking up to the realities of the IFB
    “Mommy Dearest” – a documentary on raising IFB children
    “He-man and the Masters of their Homes” – Jack Schaap on how men should behave at home
    “Above the Law” – The Story of Lestor Roloff’s Christian Alamo
    “Ransom” -the History behind Love Offerings in the IFB
    “The Twilight Zone” – a weekly series from IFB pulpits
    “True Lies” **no explanation necessary
    “Kelly’s Spiritual Heroes”
    “Twelve O’clock High” – an IFB church parking lot story
    “The Crazies” **no explanation necessary
    “Keeping Up Appearances” – a weekly series

  6. I’ve been watching TCM–so here are some older references:

    If It’s Tuesday It Must Be Soulwinning

    One for the King James Bible

    Attack of the Pants Wearing Woman

    The Man With the Golden Tongue (for preaching)

  7. Soulwinning by Numbers

    The Usual Soulwinners

    Service of the Living Dead

    Tuesdays with Visitation

    Soul Wars, Episode I: The Canine Menace

    Soul Wars, Episode II: Distraction of the Child

    Soul Wars, Episode III: Ringing of the Doorbell

    Soul Wars, Episode IV: Hoping Someone Answers

    Soul Wars, Episode V: The Pitbull Bites Back

    Soul Wars, Episode VI: Return of the Soulwinner

    Pride and Predudice (Virtues of the Fundy)

    The Stand (against compromise)

    The Bobfather: The Story of Bob Jones, Sr.

    The Lyin’ King

    My Fair Lady Stays in the Kitchen

    Done in 60 Minutes

    Street Preachin’ Kings

    The Soulwinning Matrix

    Jeremy Soulwinner: A Series of Unfortunate Events

    Halloween: They Got What They Deserved

    How the West was Evangelized

    Planet of the Fundies

    Little Women Should Keep Silent In the Church

    Angels Weren’t in the Outfield

    Eat, Preach, Soulwin

    The Baptismal Candidate

    We Were Soulwinners

    Street Preaching in Sin City

    The Day After Tomorrow the Invitation Will End

    RoboMog

    Soulwinner’s Guide to the Neighborhood

    Sister Act Like You’re Happy

    Happy Feet Shouln’t Dance

    Mr. Popper’s Pastors

    Catholics and Dogmas

  8. Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Tithing (But Were Afraid to Ask)

    When Harry Met Sally at the Singles Retreat

    The Shining: Shekinah Glory

  9. The Bobfather (I, II, & III)

    ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS ROOM
    The Wizard of God
    THE EXORCIST: Music Edition
    APOCALYPSE NOW…. NOW… NOW… wait for it… NOW!
    THE SOUND OF MUSIC (and other proper plant growing devices)
    REALLY NICE WITHOUT A CAUSE
    Old School(?)

    Also – TV Show – The D**k Van D*ke Show?

  10. Beauty and the MOG (no comment)
    (MOG of your choice) a National Treasure
    MOG and the King of Thieves
    Tarzan (how else does one explain the flying leaps in logic?)

  11. Rain of Fire: The Story of Elijah
    The Born-again Identity
    We Born-agains are Supreme
    The Born Ultimatum: Turn or Burn
    Die Hard: The Life of the Apostle Paul
    Alien: The Life of Ruth
    Defiance: Our Role in Today’s Godless World
    Ransom: Our Lord and Savior
    Them: Sluggard’s Horror
    The Final Sacrifice: Hebrews on the Tiny Screen
    Network: What the IFB is NOT
    A River Runs Through the New Jerusalem
    Children of the Blessed Ones
    The Fly: None Shall Pass
    Mommy Daycare
    Behind Enemy Lines: The Brooklyn Tabernacle
    The Long Stare Goodnight
    Supersize Me at the Buffet Line
    Kick-Tail (because Kick-Butt would be too risque)

  12. The Social Notwork
    The (Holy) Spirit
    Sin-free City
    CHRISTmas Inn
    Dead(to sin)-Alive(to Christ)
    Army of Lightness
    Baptist History X
    Van Less Wild
    Heavenboy
    Resident Good
    Pretty Fuzz
    Pretty Rod
    Pretty Tub Time Machine
    Pretty Shots!
    Undercover Brother (it has brother in it so it’s good)

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