Today’s challenge is to alter a movie title to make it more attractive to an audience of fundamentalists.
Here are a few to start:
‘Gentlemen Prefer Blondes Who Dress Modestly’
‘The Cider House Rules Are Not Written Down Anywhere But You Should Obey Them Anyway’.
‘The 10,000 Commandments’
(many thanks to John who sent in this suggestion and most of the examples)
492 thoughts on “Friday Challenge: Movie Titles”
2001: a sermon odysey
The man with the red KJV
Honey I Shrunk the Bank Account on Missionary Night
The Quick and the Sundayschool Teachers
Live Free or Die Trying: The story of SFL posters.
Minority Report: Creationism Explained
The Rear Pew
Kidnapped: The story of fundy kids
The African Queen-A missionary story
High Plains Preacher
Paint Your Busses
Hold Him High
Around the World in 80 days: an evangelist story.
Preachy Preachy Bang Bang
Love the Minority Report one!
JAWS- Jesus Always Wore Slacks.
Silence of the Female Lambs
Many of Tom Hank’s movies don’t need a name change only a plot change:
He Knows You’re Alone – The Ernie Willis Story
The Money Pit – A Movie about Sacrificial Giving
Nothing in Common – The problem with having friends outside the IFB
Big –How to grow the World’s Largest Sunday School
A League of Their Own – A training video for Preacher Boys
Independent, Fundamental, King James preaching, Baptst-less in Seattle – A missions conference story
That (Sinful) Thing You Do! – Documenting autoerotic pleasure
Saving Private Ryan – with a “Holy Joe” Chick tract
Cast Away –A cautionary tale about what can happen if you are not in the center of God’s will at all times
Road to Perdition – Documenting the perils of the public school system, focusing on the Perilous hallway of Peril when a guy and girl are caught there alone.
Catch Me If You Can – How to cover-up abuse in your ministry
The Ladykillers – How the Hyles men see themselves
And a non-Hanks bonus:
The Holy Grail – How to earn your MRS. Degree at Fundie U.
That hall way of peril will get them every time!
These are pretty funny.
The Exorcism of Emily’s Rock Music
Dogs Don’t Go to Heaven (Unless They’re Saved)
50 First Potential Mates
My Very, Very, Very, Very Big Fat Baptist Wedding
(How) The Lost Boys (Got Found)
127 Souls Saved in an Hour
Mars Needs the Lord
Classic adult films turned Fundy:
Debbie Does Divinity School
Preacher Boys In The Sand
The Opening Of The Pastor’s Daughter
Deep Throat Your Husband Even If You Don’t Want To
Talk Holy To Me
Silence of the ladies
Some like it loud and unlearned
Throw Unwed Mamas From the Train
There will be yelling
How to train your wife
Taming of the Shrew?
I think that’s “How to train your dragon”
There’s no training me!! 🙂
The Fat and the Furious
Fast and furious sermon prep
500 days of summer camp
The girl with the dragon tattoo is not welcome in my church
Scream…when you preach
End of Gays
Thanks. I like the dragon tattoo one. I couldn’t think fast enough.
No country for gay men
Kiss kiss bang bang…after you’re married.
A few with no name changes, just plot changes:
Earthquake (worldwide during the tribulation)
Armageddon (war at the end of the tribulation)
Sahara (Hell is even hotter than here!)
Bruce Almighty (Story of a Fundy preacher man)
National Treasure (Everyone knows that’s the KJV)
National Treasure 2 (Hymnals)
Congo (Story of some missionaries living in the forest)
Jaws (Story about the closest buffet style resturant
after church on Sunday)
Deep Impact (A wish of what would happen – but doesn’t – after soul winning)
Star Trek – Generations (Older people don’t understand why some younger people want to watch movies and are enamored by the stars.)
Star Trek – Insurrection (The younger people sneak out to the movie houses)
Star Trek – Nemesis (The older people try to teach the younger people that the stars are really their enemies.)
Titanic (The size of the task to convert the world to IFB)
Poseidon (A ship carrying people who make the mistake of believing in different Gods gets turned upside down. One finds a Gideon Bible, gets saved, and leads some others to Christ. These are the only ones who live)
Bad News Bores
She wore a yellow skirt
The Good Honorary Doctor
Ok, this is way too many pages to read through, so if any of these have already been done, I repent in dust and ashes. 😀
The Fantastic Four Gospels
Kill Bill(y) Graham
Mission Impossible 4: The Camel and the Eye of the Needle
Saving Private Ryan’s Soul
Brokeback Mountain: Praying Them Straight
The Mummy: Lazarus Comes Forth
Network 😀 😀
Remember the Titans of the Reformation
The Producers of Good Fruit
Into the Wild to Win Souls
What About Bob and His Walk With the Lord?
Kick Ass: The Story of Balaam
Volcano: God’s Judgement on the Gays
Love the mummy one
Love into the Wild (with the Magic Bus subtext)
I love “Kick Ass: The Story of Balaam.”
Me too! I actually missed that one ’til just now. THAT’S a funny one.
Star Trek – First Contact (About a man’s first time street preaching in Beverly Hills)
The Big One – The Great Los Angeles Earthquake (God’s judgement on a sinful city)
Escape from LA (A movie star gets saved and has to get out of the “Hollywood life”)
Fire Down Below (What hell is really like)
Fire in the Sky (Jesus’ second coming)
The Fire Next Time (What you’ll face if you don’t get right with the Lord!)
meaning…just as brilliant, but more of it 😀
Chick Tracts made into movies
It’s A Wonderful Life – “This Is Your Life” Chick Tract on screen http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0001/0001_01.asp
Titanic – http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0048/0048_01.asp
The Visitors – http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0061/0061_01.asp
Some Like it Hot – http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0043/0043_01.asp
Scream – http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/5021/5021_01.asp
People actually hand these out, thinking people will get saved reading them?! I think if I wasn’t a Christian, and was handed one of these, I would run the other way! 🙄
They are very popular with fans of surrealist art, because they are so hallucinatory and unabashedly paranoid (both good things to the surrealist school of criticism).
And one my partner came up with:
Beach Blanket Bible Study 😀
Last night I thought of “The Breakfast Bible Study” but forgot to post 🙂
Ok, I wasn’t going to post this one, but I see that someone has already gone a similar route above.
Debbie Does Her Devotions
A film endorsed by Jack Schaap
“I know what you did last summer” (and your going straight to hell)
“Saving God” The amazing story of Pastor_________. (the greatest soul winner in all of history)
That’s what I’ve thought every time I’ve seen that title on Netflix (used to be regularly recommended by netflix a couple of year ago to me). Hasn’t been lately.
For a Christian-ize movie it really was pretty good. Not at all what you think from the title. I just thought the title just fit so well with this topic.
I’m fairly certain I caved at watched it at one point.
Oooooh! The Seven Day Itch (to go to the altar)!
Milltown Pride and Prejudice
hahahaha, right on!
Summer Vacation Bible School
Blackula – The Jesse Jackson Story
Is this a different Jesse Jackson than I’m thinking of? The guy from Chicago the rhymes himself all the time, isn’t really a fundy.
Jesse Jackson is a Baptist, but not a Fundy.
I thought the point was that Fundies see him as some kind of demonic figure (like Blackula) because of his liberal politics.
Ah, was curious how he was related.
I know he’s not IFB but just couldn’t resist the temptation to throw it in anyway.
Thought it might’ve been a diff Jesse Jackson.
Harry Ironside and the Chamber of Secrets: the renaming of Graves dormitory
Citizen, Cane Your Children
Ha ha! 🙂
I like this one
Pretty in Culottes
To Catch A Sinner
The Longest Skirt
The Great Escape From the World
The Conservative Mutiny
^ Sadly, this.
3:16 to Heaven
Saved in 60 Seconds
The Lion and Lamb King (of Kings)
(Romans) Road to Salvation
Green Mile: A Documentary of Prison Ministry
My Big Fat Preacher at my Wedding
Great stuff. I still have one more page to read, but for now I’ll add a few of my own…
Meet The Pastor
The Whole Nine Hours
30 Going On 13
Love Comes Harshly
I Am Number One
16 Block Walk To Church
Be Kind, Remind Them They’re Going To Hell
The Lost World (because they didn’t believe the Genesis Park story)
The Mask Of Sorrow
Ramona And Beelzebub
Saints Like Us
The Stand (for six hours)
Dirty Hairy Homeless (I was gonna say Bums, but that might evoke the wrong image)