Sending E-mail

In my Inbox this morning…

Being used of saten is definitely something that no sane person would want. However, I am confident that I am prepared to answer to gid, my friend. I hope you are ready as well.

65 thoughts on “Sending E-mail”

  1. He doth protest too much?

    Nah, it’s just typical fundie hypocrisy – they’ll get offended (and certainly let you know!) at everything, including political correctness (that is, getting offended at everything).

  2. Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! Wooo that’s priceless! Does that make us gid haters? I’m glad I don’t serve a “little g” gid or god.

  3. so what local, called out assembly are you dividing?

    oh, wait, fundies believe in the invisible universal church when it makes yelling at you easier.

  4. …and what about when saten drives fundies to reject other Christians? Catholics, Pentecostals, Calvinists, Anglicans… this site appears to be against those divisions. In fact, in a few respects I can see this site as reflecting the intentions of the epistles (don’t carry the analogy TOO far) in that it provides a rebuke for mistakes the church is making–I don’t think God minds that at all, and as for gid, well, whoever he is I’m pretty sure God can take care of him.

  5. Lol. Well there we have it. What church is being divided over this? I mean if people leave that is hardly division. And how about all the division fundies do over just about everything?

    Anyway that made my morning especially the lack of spelling.

  6. @ the bad grammar/spelling in the post: I taught English in a small IFB school and had a young man as a student who HATED English. He wouldn’t listen in class; he wouldn’t do his homework. He said he was going to be a preacher, and he didn’t need to know this stuff (he was about 17 years old). I tried to explain that he’d have EVERYONE in his church from the illiterate to people who’d been to college so he would need to be able to converse and write in standard English so he would not be a stumbling block to people who needed to hear the Gospel. When that didn’t reach him, I told him the Bible says, “Whatever your hands find to do, do it with all your might.” I never convinced him to even TRY or to adjust his bad attitude. Guess what? Today he IS a pastor!

    And I love that people criticize SFL instead of the pastors teaching warped doctrines and unbiblical traditions. Sad.

  7. ok, fundies. here’s the deal: writing “you are” as a contraction provides the perfect opportunity for the correct use of an apostrophe. i know you may be hesitant to use apostrophes after some of the posts and comments around here, and i respect that, but now is your chance to shine. it’s “you’re dividing”, not “your dividing”.

    next week, let’s talk about “its” & “it’s”.

    your brother in gid,
    reader mi

  8. At first I thought you were posting an email from Evangelist Dr. Phil Armenik =)

  9. @reader mi Once again there are no further jokes that can be made. You topped us all! πŸ™‚ That “your” was grating on me, and I couldn’t figure out the best way to make fun of it. Thanks for finding it! πŸ™‚ KUDOS!

  10. @Abby, LOL!

    Rather, I think that it is these fundy preachers who enslave the church to try to run the Fruit-Of-The-Spirit Software on the old operating system of the Flesh, who have to answer to God for their actions. The best you can do is run this software on an emulator, but it will end up not running as intended, and it will take huge amounts of RAM from your internal processor.

  11. “your brother in gid”

    Awesome. This gets my vote to become the standard SFL signoff or mark of a true SFL follower.

    your brother in gid,

  12. Darrell gets a hate email from someone showing off their unaccredited college degree πŸ™‚ LOL

  13. @Darrell, you spawn of saten. This website is definitely wood, hay, and stubble material. (Cue track 146, GOH “Is It Gonna Burn?”) I’m off to my gold, silver, and other assorted precious stones-producing bus ministry.

  14. no slight to Darrell – but between reader Mi (his new name) and Don, I almost get as much fun from reading the comments as I do reading the posts.

  15. I almost get as much fun from reading the comments as I do reading the posts.

    It’s one of the few things that keeps me coming back here. πŸ˜‰

  16. Reminds me when, at BJU, after making a point to the prayer group that God doesn’t care about externals, a fellow prayer group person told me that I was a tool of the devil. Welcome to the club, Darrell. πŸ™‚

  17. Now, to be fair, the “gid” is likely a typo, seeing as the i and the o are right next to each other. As for the rest (including the lack of capital letters), it deserves every bit of humor it’s getting. Someone needs to get out their child’s homeschool spelling workbook and relearn a few things.

  18. I just wish the guy had stuck to his contractions mistakes and closed with “you’re actions”.

    your brother in gid (I like this as a sign off a whole lot)

  19. I can almost imagine the person who wrote that foaming at the mouth as they “hunt and peck”! Thanks be to gid for another great laugh on this site! >;-D

  20. all props to Darrell. i’m just riff off of his wit & wisdom (or wot & wosdim, as it were).

    when my help-meat first showed me this site, i laughed so hard that ruined several pairs of pants. especially when i saw the post about Christmas cantatas where somebody dies. it takes a sharp mind to notice the subtler oddities of ifbism, and Darrell has given me more hours of entertainment than i can count.

  21. You might just be a fundamentalist if your sense of humor is limited to jokes about your little woman and your mother-in-law.

  22. Dear Darrell, I’m 16 and attending a way right fundy bible baptist church with my family. I am all the way a fundamentalist-I believe the Bible to be inspired and inerrant in the originals, Jesus Christ to be God, the necessity of personal salvation by grace through faith, the Trinity, et cetera. BUT I do reject the legalism and hypocrisy of the nutsos, be it on dress, KJVO, hating sinners, judging others, courtship, etc. and I really prefer a faith built on the Bible instead of on feelings of guilt, excitement, or superiority because of convictions (opinions). I am very thankful for your site because it’s pointed out to me some very dangerous issues (such as the racist missions board endorsed by PCC, which is just about the only college our church tolerates, and James “Preacher” Lyman, who has preached Bible conferences in “sister churches” of our *pseudo-synod* XD). Way to warn the saints. Sometimes ppl go a little too far and really hate on Baptists but I thank God for what I’ve learned here.

    Kansas City, KS.

  23. Oh, Reader Mo, I think I still have the demo tape of BORN TO DIE, the lovely Ron Hamilton “Christmas” cantata where the mother dies, never to see her wayward son get on the “straight and narrow.” If I find it, I make an mp3 of it. I feel certain we’ll all have a good laugh, once we get over the horror of calling that a “Christmas” cantata.

  24. @Reader Mo, you may “only riff”, but by gid, it’s some of the best riffing I’ve ever read online! Keep it up! It’s medicide for the soul that keeps the whining fundies tolerable! πŸ™‚

  25. I concur with “Mi”… it is all Darrell. I’m just a smarta** that shoots from the lip. I have had many hours of sheer delight with this site as I have extracated myself and my family from the clutches of the IFB Bunker Cult.

    @Dan… hooboy! I played Charles Ignatius Parker the third (you can call me Chip for short) in that play one year. I almost wet my pants when Darrell posted the Death Plays because there for a while we did Born to die, and another one about the Civil War where we had to cut off a guy’s leg…(NOW THAT WAS A MESS! …he’s starting to get used to his prosthetic these days, we probably should not have went for so much realism…) and they were talking about recycling through them every few years…. hahahaha!

    You’re brother in gid,

  26. Why is this person up so late (early)? I thought fundy bedtime was 8:30 Eastern?

  27. Don – you’re not the only person to have played Chip. I played him twice. Once as the younger version and once as the older version. LOL. “this place even has a sunken bathtub”

    fellow “Chip”ite and brother in gid,


  28. I’m thinking this email is just a troll… and he’s probably laughing his head off now. Just sayin’…

  29. @Dan

    At my old church, there was a guy who used to sing that song solo at the Christmas play. He was such a show-off about it. So, that song brings back bad memories… lol.

  30. @ Reader Mi, for the love of all that’s good and holy, PLEASE stop spelling me as your help-“meat”. Guh.

    @Rob – I think I like medicide better – I may have to bring that into my lexicon – something like, “Those pills the doctor gave me were so bad, they were like medicide.”

  31. @Reader Mi I concur with Loren! The “help-meat” may need some extra medicide for the sassin! πŸ™‚

    You’re brother in gid

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