Tag Archives: thanksgiving

Last Minute Fundy Family Holiday Meal Survival Guide

Norman Rockwell, Freedom from Want.
painting photo by Gary Halvorson, Oregon State Archives

For those of you who are currently driving to a gathering where fundy family members will be present, please stop reading this and keep your eyes on the road.

Once you’re no longer driving, however, here’s a quick guide to navigating the inevitable awkward conversations.

“Where are you going to church these days?”
Rule: Comparing churches with people who believe theirs is the only true church will never end well.

If you’re going to church: “It’s a place not that far from us and the kids love it there.”

If you’re not going to church: “We’ve been thinking about checking out this place not that far from us because the kids would love it there.”

“Can you believe that Obama…”

Rule: Political discussions should never be undertaken with family member who also frown on drinking.

If you didn’t vote for Obama: “Wow…yeah…hey, do you want some coffee?”
If you voted for Obama: “Wow…yeah…hey, do you want some coffee?”

“That reminds me of what Pastor said last Sunday…”

Rule: Direct confrontation won’t work. Instead, confuse them with verbal judo.

If their pastor is a jackass: “That’s really interesting. Can you give me the references he used to back that up so I can look them up later?”

If their pastor is not a jackass: “You know that reminds me of a quote by (Billy Graham, the Dali Lama, Buddha and/or Bill Clinton).”

“Well we sure would love it if you would come to our Christmas program.”
Rule: Don’t do it. Do. Not. Do. It.

If you already have plans: “We already have plans for that night.”

If you don’t already have plans: “We already have plans for every night that month.”

Friday Challenge: Be Thankful(ish)

photo by By Dennis Crowley

Today’s challenge is to give something for which you are thankful in the style of a fundamentalist humble brag.

I am thankful that I got 20 people saved this last weekend.

I am thankful that I have never even tasted beer.

I am thankful that I have no clue what the inside of a movie theater looks like or how great their sound systems are or how exorbitant the popcorn prices are…

Giving Thanks

Today across the United States we’ll sit down to feasts of plenty with people that we love. Having plenty is cause indeed for celebration and we should be thankful that we live in a country where for most of us food is more akin to entertainment than the deadly serious business of sustaining life. We should celebrate. We should give thanks. Others wish they could.

If you’ve been thinking about adding charity giving to your Holiday budget, here is a golden opportunity to share the spirit of Thanksgiving with a child on the other side of the world through child sponsorship with World Vision.

Just click on any of the pictures to learn more.

Rujithson – Age 9

Jeneeza – Age 4

Mohommad – Age 9

Ahda – Age 3


On this the most thankful time of year I’d like to share a few of the things for which I am truly grateful.

I’m thankful for our standards high that keep us clean and pure
I’m thankful for the KJV which ever will endure

I’m thankful that my clothes are picked by Biblical command
I’m thankful that our chuch has a piano not a band

I’m thankful for our preacher who is awfully good at yelling
I’m thankful for the table where his latest book is selling

I’m thankful for the potluck fare that soon will fill my plate
I’m thankful that mere gluttony is not a sin we hate

I’m thankful for the souls I’ve won by knocking random doors
I’m thankful that my crowns will be more numerous than yours.

But of the greatest thanks that ere have graced my tongue or pen,
I thank Thee most that I am not like other sinful men. (Or even this Publican)

Thanksgiving (An Uncharacteristically Serious Post)

We are fast approaching the time of year when the United States has ordained that its citizens take some time off to be thankful. Fundamentalists and non-fundies alike are blowing up the Internet with lists of things for which we can be grateful and (oftentimes) covert condemnation of those who don’t look quite thankful enough.

Yet, thankfulness cannot ever be the product of mere command. Some days there would seem to be very little in the way of glad tidings for which we can express our thanks. Some days we just don’t feel very much like being thankful for what we have or can do in the face of what we do not have or cannot do.

“Giving thanks always and for everything” writes the Apostle Paul. But there are some sayings in Scripture that are hard to bear. Thankful for years spend “wasted”? Thankful for being abandoned by friends and family? Thankful for abuse and loneliness and poverty and deception and trauma? It seems so unlikely, so farfetched, so inhumane to even suggest that such at thing is possible.

But I must confess that in my life there have been moments of time when heaven and earth have briefly met and I can see with eyes undimmed by the pain of all the things that have come before when I can be thankful even for these bitter things that have come and gone. Because I believe that there is nothing that can come into my life but that it has been allowed by a gracious Heavenly Father who can take even the wrath of ungodly men and bring good from it. Pain has enriched the glory of grace. Condemnation has increased a love of mercy. Heartache brings with it an increased depth and breadth and height of the ability to love and weep and care for others. For to be thankful is not to claim to have enjoyed what has happened but rather to acknowledge that we are now the better for having endured it.

And so in the spirit of this season, I thank God for allowing my life as it has been thus far. For those who have loved me and befriended me as well as those who have hated and ill-used me. Many have intended evil but I have faith that God has meant it for good. And there is always grace.

I would hasten also to thank all of you as well for your graciousness and your kindness and your encouragement as we’ve shared this time here. Nobody knows what fresh trials or blessings or frustrations or wonderful surprises may be in store for us over the next days but I trust that when it is over we will be able to say together that our Heavenly Father has done all things well.

Enjoy the season. Hug your loved ones. Eat, drink, and be merry. We’ll talk again soon.