Tag Archives: employers


In general, workplaces are stressful. There’s pressure to perform, goals to meet, and office coffee that tastes like the pot was last washed during the Nixon administration. But working for a fundamentalist organization is a special kind of stressful environment of the type that makes manufacturers of blood pressure and ulcer medication chuckle with glee.

For the fundamentalist not only holds over you the normal power of an employer to determine salaries and titles but they also hold over their employees a spiritual club of letting you know that God is watching your work as well. And they’re not afraid to let you know when God is displeased with your performance.

Did you mistype a word on a report? Was that staple not perfectly parallel to the top edge of the page? That’s not just an unprofessional, it’s a sign of sloth. Let all things be done decently and in order!

Would Jesus spend six whole minutes on a bathroom break? No sir! He’d spend only four and use only half your consumption of paper towels too. You are brother to him that is a great waster! For shame!

Are you not meeting your quotas? Be sure to remember that not only are we checking up on you but the Holy Spirit is too. And we have it on good authority that He’s very concerned.

Come early. Stay late. Give of your best to the your fundy taskmasters and never, ever, ever complain lest your end be swift. There’s nothing like the joy of having an employer tell you that he can tell all about your spiritual condition by the discrepancies on your time sheet.