Category Archives: Music

By Request: Frank Garlock


“You tell me the kind of music you like to listen to…and I’ll tell you what kind of person you are.” — Frank Garlock

I found this gem over at The Basement Rug (an awesome site for lovers of vinyl, btw). It’s from an LP record entitled The Big Beat ~ A Rock Blast in which Frank Garlock among other things claims to have to have listened to and analyzed more than 2000 rock songs in a single week.

If you can sit through all 83 minutes of this amazing performance, you’re a better person than I am.

Some notable bites

13:30 listening to good music can increase your eyesight by 25%

13:56 we learn that plants are killed by rock music.

16:47 cutting edge research from 1971 shows that…well…something or another.

20:04 department stores use music to hypnotize their customers into buying more

21:31 Music played for mental patients helped them improve only if the musician was mentally stable. Music played by mentally unstable people made mental patients worse.

On a side note, watching Frank with Spanish voice-over is incredibly trippy.

Not Singing the Third Verse


There are two major schools of song-leading in fundy churches. The first is prone to singing every…single…verse…with all of the unbridled energy of a man building his own gallows. When these folks sing “when we’ve been there 10,000 years” they’re not kidding.

The other method of singing hymns is to religiously omit the third verse to every song. If the song contains five verses, the fourth verse may likely meet the same ignominious fate. One can only imagine that the middle verses to every hymn have been infected by liberal agents with subliminal suggestions that might result in clapping, swaying, or other mortal sins of the flesh.

Modern hymn writers, note this well. My advice is just to omit writing a third verse altogether and replace it instead with single line that says “All together now on the last.” It’s what is going to happen anyway.