Heading to Somewhere Else

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”
“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat.
“I don’t much care where–” said Alice.
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat.
“–so long as I get SOMEWHERE,” Alice added as an explanation.
“Oh, you’re sure to do that,” said the Cat, “if you only walk long enough.”

(Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, Chapter 6)

Eight years ago I started down a road out marked “Out of Here.” Today I’m sitting looking at another sign named “Somewhere Else.” I think it’s better here. Time will tell.

Those eight years since SFL started have brought us 2,075 posts, 12 million visits, and almost 150,000 comments. A lot has happened in that time and we’ve experienced it together.

Yet with all the words written and replied, fundamentalism is not dead — mostly because fundamentalism will never die as long as human beings are what they are. Pride, fear, and greed are the ingredients we all carry with us; fundamentalism just has its own family recipe for the way they mix and serve them.

When Stuff Fundies Like started began to gain popularity about six years ago I told myself that every anniversary I would take stock of my personal motivations and the reasons I kept writing. Today as I sit here I can honestly say that the reasons are all gone.

I haven’t darkened the door of a fundamentalist church (or many other churches) in years. For me, my fundamentalist past has become a fixed point in time, a place I can’t ever really go back to because my personal story has changed and the fundamentalism I knew has changed. The old names and faces have started to fade away even while the methods remain.

The Independent Baptist movement is a shell of its former self. The winds of change are blowing and although you’ll always find IFB churches hiding in the hills and hollers of this land they’re quickly becoming a cultural oddity. Someday they’ll be spoken of in the same breath as the Shakers, Amish, and other breakaway sects who stood still while time marched on.

As for me, I’m continuing my journey to Somewhere Else which means moving on from here. The SFL archives will remain but (unless something unforeseen occurs) this will be my last post here.

The Facebook page and Twitter account will stay live so that I can keep touch with you all if BIG NEWS breaks out in fundyland.

You can also reach me over at darrelldow.com or my writer’s page where I’ve been doing some writing on other topics.

The forum will stay active for as long as I can afford the hosting. If you want to register just drop me a line.

I’m also toying with the idea of compiling a Best Of SFL book with my original pieces in it. If you’d be interested in such a thing let me know.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t take the time to thank so very many people who have supported, contributed, encouraged, chided, goaded, and otherwise made this blogging experiment one of the best experiences of my life. SFL took me halfway around the world. It reconnected me with faces I’d all but forgotten. It has brought me so many new friends that time would fail to name them all.

I love you all. I wish you joy.

I’ll leave you with this song that I recently fell in love with that gives a wish that seem so very appropriate for those who’s roads are taking them from Back There past my resting spot on the way to Somewhere Else. “I hope life without a chaperon is what you thought it’d be…and that all your favorite bands stay together.”

1,239 thoughts on “Heading to Somewhere Else”

  1. Darrell is such an excellent moderator. He allowed reasonable dissent – which is important for any forum. Not only is this blog important for those who have left Fundystan, but also for those still stuck inside.

    1. Dear Used-To-Be-Fundy:

      Very true! He has always had a very even hand, and used it to ‘moderate’ only when the forum at large reached a general consensus that it was time/necessary to do so. And even then, he did so without acrimony.

      This is actually how Biblical church discipline ought to proceed. I have long thought that Darrell would make a solid addition to any church council.


      Christian Socialist

    2. Please don’t close up shop. This forum is very much needed. There are people at the church I was thrown out of (tho not told leads the church but who would have stayed when met with such cruelty and lovelessness) that need this forum. So if and when they are no longer brain washed they will see they are not alone in their thoughts that maybe their pastor doesn’t walk on water after all. And all the crazy legalism is NOT for the Christian.

  2. Dear CS,

    Lord Don and George are bosom buddies. Actually, they are digital buddies. George is out to sabotage Don, and by extension, the rest of us.

    Sam plays a white piano. Or at least it appears that way in a B&W movie.

    Femininely yours,

  3. Those were the days.
    george has since retired from doing rectalcrainialectomies. Too many of his patients were repeats. They seem to be able to function well enough with their heads permanently inserted in either their own or their superior’s rectal cavity. We now believe it is a required practice for IFB true believers.

        1. I agree. And yet I know people who most assuredly vote for Trump because they believe his villainy to be Christian. Or they will vote for Cruz because they think he will bring True Religion to government. Cruz was warmly welcomed by BJU, I understand.

        2. Well, I know Trump didn’t go over too well at Liberty! “Two Corinthians” and all that 😀 But really, he is not fit material to be president, and I can’t understand how even the most conservative conservative can’t see that.

        3. It is a matter of validation. People follow him because he validates their fears and prejudices. He swaggers and exudes confidence, and people like that.

  4. Another suggested FWOTW:

    A lot of Reformed Baptists are jumping on this “marry the kids off young” bandwagon – cause the worst thing imaginable is pre-marital sex. Apparently, homeschooling with a strong academic emphasis is also questionable (if it makes your homeschool wordly like those secular schools)…and God forbid you send them off to college.

    Presented for your review and comment:



    1. Oh gagamaggot!

      This showed up on FB. I looked at it and my browser told me that the page was rated “dangerous.”

      They believe a woman is always supposed to be “under authority.” She never, ever should actually be responsible for herself or make her own decisions. Before marriage she is under authority to her father. After marriage, to her husband. And should her husband die, she is under authority to her oldest son!

      I wish Baptists would stop representing themselves as patriotic. They are subversives.

      1. Dear rtgmath:

        ‘There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus’ [Gal 3:28].

        I wish Baptists [and IFBs in particular] would recognize gradual movement away from patrimony and hierarchy in the NT. Instead of welcoming these developments into the coming age, they insist on regarding these as pre-lapsarian principles that are to be retained into the eschaton.

        Christian Socialist

        1. Like many of those fleeing the IFBx, I first landed in an SBC church. After a while, I discovered patriarchal/courtship/ separation teachings from leadership so had to move on again. I’m done with being Baptist.

        2. We were headed down the same path. Then we discovered Cooperative Baptists. They ordain women, and don’t teach false hierarchies. Otherwise, we would probably have become Episcopalian.

        1. Well now, in this twisted system she would have to become a ward of the pastor – if no close male relative would take her in.
          But probably only on the condition she turn over all her assets for the pastor to handle.

          [snark]The pastor would probably do the same for the younger women – only the assets are different. [\snark]

    1. Dear WorkinMama:

      If I have anything to say about it, our beloved SFL community is anything but done. I’m still figuring out how to create a functional website for a continuing SFL.

      I’m reviewing this site for ideas, saving a bunch of posts for guidance for when this one finally goes kaput [NOTHING is permanent on the internet], and identifying material sources for future posts. I plan to include current features into a continuing website. We’ll keep the Rulebook, and add some new twists such as an occasional ‘blast from the past’ [a few reposts from this site], and Our Altar of Misplaced Devotion [to include due recognition of Darrell’s impact on our lives, and more]. I plan to include occasional posts raises awareness of issues touching social conditions for Sri Lankans.

      An initial post which I hope will connect with many past/current friends is ready. It embraces the silliness and the serious we’ve come to expect of SFL in an historical narrative with a distinctively canonical ring. I’m collecting photos/drawings to accompany posts. Also, the first ‘Friday Challenge’ is ready to go. I won’t tell you exactly what it is, but I’m quite certain of one thing. Jack Chick is NOT going to be amused.

      I’m sure that the most difficult aspect of such a project is finding material, so I’d like to try to get a little ahead before I launch. I may also rely on reader submissions more than Darrell who is clearly younger and smarter. For now, anyway. You know how it is – there comes a time in the life of every man when his IQ and his waistline trade places. Which brings me to the first point … I’m still figuring out how to create a functional website for a continuing SFL. Don’t leave now!

      Some of these weeks I mean to post a url to the Continuing ‘Stuff Fundies Like’ site.

      Christian Socialist

      PS: Next poster gets ‘800th!’

        1. I just skimmed through the article. The principles that come to mind are greed, self-gratification, lasciviousness, and a lot of other non-flattering things.

          As far as I know, there was only one Jack Hyles. Who is the real one (of course, we already know that…)

        2. We know that people change. And are inconsistent. Jack Hyles certainly was inconsistent. I am sure he did good in his ministry. He also did bad.

          I don’t know whether these anecdotes are true. They might be. But the fact remains that the ministry ultimately has had a dark, sinister, and abusive side.

        3. Also, the article was written by Bob Gray Sr, a known sex offender. Gray has been dead for a number of years, but the website just posted his article on 2/9/16.

        4. WorkinMama,

          The Fundies were “blessed” with two Bob Grays. This article appears to have been written by Bob Gray (TX):

          1) Bob Gray, admitted child predator from Trinity Baptist Church in Jacksonville, Florida, who died awaiting trial in 2007.


          2) Bob Gray, former pastor of Longview Baptist Temple, in Longview, Texas. He just loves to write books and articles about his hero and mentor, Jack Hyles. Gray (TX) was the inspiration for the book The Texas Baptist Crucible: Tales from the Temple, by James Spurgeon (I highly recommend this book). Gray (TX) was also involved in the Russell Hirner child sexual abuse case/trial. Gray (TX) opines (well, blathers on and on) at this website: http://bobgraysr.com


          That time when Bob Gray (TX) got his cyber ass kicked by “Jeriwho”:


        5. WorkinMama, I’m pretty sure this article is by the other Bob Gray, who is alive and busy perpetuating his brand of crazy. The Florida Bob Gray is the accused pedophile and died in 2005 or 2006.

          AFAIK, Florida Bob Gray was not a Hyles guy. He had his own universe. It wasn’t as big or influential as Jackie’s.

        6. Thanks for the clarification on Bob Gray, Lady Semp. I didn’t know there were that many.
          Actually I posted the link because I thought it was hilarious to see someone singing Hyles’ praises, knowing what kind of person he actually is. I guess I’ve always had a warped sense of humor. The website has a lot of other hilarious articles too, such as “Why I still wear a tie to church” and “Three reasons I wear skirts full time.” Trouble is the authors don’t think it’s funny, they take themselves seriously.

        7. Used-be-fundy, thanks for the info. I learned something. Since they were both involved in sexual abuse scandals and had the same name, I assumed they were the same person. It’s common for perps to cover up for each other.

        8. To be fair, it was Bob Gray (FL) who was the child molester.
          Bob Gray (TX) did not do the actual molesting – his school’s principal, Russell Hirner, did. He did play the traditional Fundy pastor supporting role IYKWIM.

      1. Dear Christian Socialist,
        This is great news. Count me in. I look forward to a revitalized site where we can all talk with each other.
        Bald Jones grad

      1. Dear CS,

        Someone had to claim those posts. You’re just bitter.

        I’m playing “I Surrender All” on the white piano. I will play until you come forward to the old-fashioned altar and repent of your hard, hard, heart.


      1. Really low admission standards, LOL.
        2.0 GPA from whatever school (no accreditation standard); no mention of student having to take SAT or ACT; but a “willingness to submit to scriptural authorities” [meaning administration and especially pastor, naturally].
        page 31

        1. So if a student scores a 3, 4, or 5 on the AP Calculus exam while in high school, they will give them credit for…

          wait for it…

          Intro to Algebra.


          page 46

    1. And here is one fresh today from the HuffingtonPost. Remember Jerry Fallwell Jr. ? Well now he is saying Jesus never intended to give instructions to politicians. Really.

      Amazing. Now it is okay for political leaders to be as ungodly as possible, just as long as they are Republican.

      Fallwell Jr. Is president of Liberty University. He received some flack for endorsing Trump, despite the fact that Trump is nothing close to Christian.


      1. My wife has taken several classes from Liberty and she was embarrassed by Falwell, Jr. endorsing trump. We believe it is time to Dump trump. Ok, enough politics for the day.

    2. Many judges do not look kindly at lawsuits designed to shut down free speech. Several states have enacted anti-SLAPP laws. Guess Gothard does not think he has anything else to lose.

      This is a good resource:

      “Generally, a “SLAPP” is a (1) civil complaint or counterclaim; (2) filed against individuals or organizations; (3) arising from their communications to government or speech on an issue of public interest or concern. SLAPPs are often brought by corporations, real estate developers, government officials and others against individuals and community groups who oppose them on issues of public concern. SLAPP filers frequently use lawsuits based on ordinary civil claims such as defamation, conspiracy, malicious prosecution, nuisance, interference with contract and/or economic advantage, as a means of transforming public debate into lawsuits.

      Most SLAPPs are ultimately legally unsuccessful. While most SLAPPs lose in court, they “succeed” in the public arena. This is because defending a SLAPP, even when the legal defense is strong, requires a substantial investment of money, time, and resources. The resulting effect is a “chill” on public participation in, and open debate on, important public issues. This “chilling” effect is not limited to the SLAPP target(s): fearful of being the target of future litigation, others refrain from speaking on, or participating in, issues of public concern. ”


  5. Dear SFL Devotee:

    The Continuing SFL – An Update:

    The continuing SFL now has a unique URL, and web hosting services have been procured for the next three years.

    We have learned that stuff doesn’t always work as flawlessly as originally suggested. Internet hosting is no different. Hey – these guys have to justify keeping support staff, right?

    This is all very new to yours truly, but like the rapture, launch date gets nearer every day. [I’ll leave it for others to decide if this is an encouragement, or comes off like total gas … 😉

    Christian Socialist

    1. Dear SFL Devotee:

      Progress is being made. Several glitches have been remedied, and the continuing SFL is currently learning to talk with servers … or something like that.

      Please understand that I’ll need time to learn the ‘ins-and-outs’ to add the features to make this work well.

      That said, methinks things are moving …

      Christian Socialist

        1. Dear Dr. Fundystan, Proctologist:

          Thanks so much for this offer!

          A minute ago, I got access to the dashboard — finally!

          I’ve checked a few online videos re: plugins, widgets, gadgets and doo-flickies [whatever the heck all that stuff is], so I’m optimistic that I’ll get this thing working sometime before the millennium. And if not, I’ll ‘rattle your cage!’

          Christian Socialist

    1. Dear Ben Masters:

      A launch post and a couple of pages are ready to go; but as yet, nothing has been published. I’ve yet to figure out some kind of poster ID [where your ‘Ben Masters’ occurs]. I also want to use the ‘mouse-over’ text that people so enjoy on this site. I also need to figure out site navigation. Last evening I found the tab allowing me to see/edit the hypertext markup language. Now I need to find a couple of sources for more extensive use of html.

      I’m sure all this stuff is simple enough. But as a total novice, I’m in ‘discover as you go’ mode and I learn everything on a point-by-point basis. That said, stuff is getting cleared up and I think we’re getting close. When I’ve got this at the point where it should run reasonably smoothly, I’ll post the URL.

      Christian Socialist

  6. Dear SFL Reader:

    OK this is gonna be rough.

    On my ‘puter, there is no place to rely with posts. But my iPhone does have a ‘comments’ place. I don’t know how things will look on your machine, but let’s give this a whirl.

    Give the old guy time [he does have a life and does other things, BTW] and he will fix what he can, and seek out help for the rest. Blessings!

    Christian Socialist

      1. Dear Christian Socialist,
        I wasn’t able to comment on the new site, but the poem is remarkable, wonderful, hyperbolically awesome!

        You are first in the SFL Hall of Fame!!!

        1. Dear Linn:

          Thank-you, although I’m sorry you couldn’t post.

          I know next to nothing about the software that runs this, but others have posted successfully. Initially, I have to ‘OK’ each submission. Hopefully, people will be able to post after that initial approval. But I won’t know unless people who can’t get on the site try and then report back here that they can’t.

          As I keep saying, I’ve got plenty to learn about this gig.

          As much as I’ve appreciated and learned to respect Darrell over the years, I suspect that he would be the first to say that the many SFL friends who comment are the true SFL heroes. I hope you can get on board soon.


          Christian Socialist

      1. Dear Ben Masters:

        Thanks for the feedback! Did you see a way/place to post? There is a ‘post’ link in my iPhone, but my web browser doesn’t feature a way to respond…

        Christian Socialist


        1. There is a place to respond to posts, but not a way to make new posts. I assume you’re referring to making responses (I may be incorrect).

        2. Dear Ben Masters:

          Thanks, Ben. I was referring to ‘responses’ rather than posts.

          You’re welcome to make suggestions. For example, Darrell occasionally featured a FWOTW [Fundy website of the Week] as an alternative [or companion beside] the Friday Challenge. Feel free to offer ideas.


          Christian Socialist

    1. Dear SFL Reader:

      Mine [above] was very ill-conceived…

      When I said, ‘give feedback here,’ I meant on this present site [Darrell’s].

      If you can’t post to the new site, it is difficult to report that fact at the URL I gave you.

      Returning to gnawing rocks …

      Christian Socialist

      1. The Inimitable Lady Semp:

        Will there be an afterlife?

        Christian Socialist

        PS: Just try to stop them! See how well that goes! LOL!

    1. I hope this meeting went well for you. Alumni meetings can be difficult. No one likes hostilities and judgment, and I hope you did not encounter any.

        1. I just had to leave a comment….

          I do like the new site, and I miss the old one, too. If you haven’t visited the new site yet-stufffundieslike.net, please come on over!

        1. With the plaid sport coat and polka dot tie? That’s one of my Fundyland pastor wardrobe nightmares.

    1. Yup. It would help if we’d get notifications or emails from the site, could subscribe to a thread, etc. with the hectic pace of living, those reminders allowed me to budget time to read and respond and enjoy.

      1. Kill radius? Good God, maam, these are spiritual zombies! There is no kill radius! All you can do is try to corral them in their own spaces (fundie churches) and hope they won’t come out.

        Remember, the only instinct left in their rotted brainz is apocalypse. At one time they wanted the Apocalypse of John the Revelator, but now they won’t wait. They will cause an apocalypse no matter what it costs them and others. They don’t care, since they aren’t “of this world” any longer and are just hanging around to infect people.

        1. On a more serious note, I was reading some comments on TWW about Mohler et al, and the basic sentiment was that he is essentially a fundy with a different coat of paint. I can’t disagree. If you’ve read any of the mind-boggling heresy coming out of CBMW you will understand that brand trump all. Even common sense.

        2. The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood — promoting a “complementarian” position which is nothing more than a see-though scheme to maintain male supremacy. By maintaining that God created men and women “equal in dignity and human personhood,” then relegating women to support roles while giving men the leadership in all things, they are promoting a contradiction.

          Just as easily tell a slave that God had created him “equal in dignity and human personhood” to his master, but that he was permanently relegated to a “support role”!

          But as to whether this is an actual “heresy” or not is not clear to me, since the Scriptures do teach male superiority and female inferiority. The fundamentalists are simply dressing up old patriarchy in modern clothing … well, at least 1950’s clothing!

        3. No, but the ESS teaching is heresy, and while perhaps teaching that women will be eternally subordinate to men is not a heresy per se, it is a complete contradiction of the words of Jesus and Scripture. So at best weird and unChristian.

        4. “Eternal Subordination of the Son” (ESS). The teaching that the persons of the Godhead are hierarchical, with God the Son being subordinate to God the Father, and God the Holy Spirit being subordinate to both of the others.

          Okay, I can see this as a heresy. But then, Jesus did make some seemingly contradictory statements about himself and his relationship with the Father. And the early church had a hard time settling the idea that Jesus Christ was actually God of very God. It is easy to forget that these controversies existed.

          But it doesn’t surprise me that Fundamentalists are willing to challenge even their long held doctrines if it will justify a social structure that will allow them to keep power. After all, doctrine is usually taught and enforced in order to preserve power and authority.

        5. Agreed. I can’t think of an appreciable philosophical difference between the current fundamentalist obsession with justifying complementarianism and the passe fundamentalist obsession with justifying slavery.

  7. So three weeks ago when I was fired by our pastor from my two kids’ church school where I was monitor full time (in exchange free tuition) tho still paid $50
    Monthly for other fees – I was first anguished shocked bewildered by the idea that this guy (who incidentally is
    Buddy Buddy Pope Treiber and helped to raise $40 grand for forty years ministry) would call me on phone on my day off to insult me they I dare to
    Plan a bday party for a member who people ignored and mocked but always working at church for free as construction worker stuff – he said if his wife text another man he would leave the ministry. Mind you I am 48 year old grandma married with five sons one who is cancer survivor. I can honestly say I did stuff for kids and teachers all the time. If sick I bought medicine. Purchased stuff spent lots money I didn’t. Now I wasn’t a big tither so I was not worth keeping when he told the guy “I had to get rid of her”

    1. No matter I cried that was my life and our brain cancer son survivor needed me there it didn’t matter. He told me I have issues and not suppose to go bowling or carnivals with other young man who was like a son to me cause I’m
      Married woman. No mercy no compassion not one Christian lady text me or said they will miss me or praying for our family. No visit from pastor or wife. Could be cause I called back and had to leave message “I have digested all you said and I find it apaulling and degrading needless to say and my husband agrees we are removing our sons and our family Three weeks have come and gone. Nothing. After reading Treiber’s list of worship pastor I understand why his fellow buddy acted that way and sheep followed his suit. But I am still mad. Never will I go near an IFB church again. Thanks for this site as a recovering IFB. There is no love. And when we don’t fit the IFB cookie cutter image of pastor – they get rid of us like yesterday’s trash. Shame on them. But we know they are not showing true love of Jesus.

      1. But two weeks ago in my town they threw party at local park for his 30 years ministry. Now while i don’t care they gave him new motorcycle and Hawaii trip and other gifts –
        Sad my mom gave $100 she didn’t have towards it when it could have gone to local family whose kid is fighting cancer. Nevertheless it’s too
        Bad the folks at that church didn’t raise $30,000 like that pastor raised $40,000 for Treiber. Maybe when he celebrates his 40 years there will
        Be enough folks to go that extra mile. Well what more can be said??
        Power corrects. And whether in politics or religion – nothing should surprise us.

        1. I’m sorry that you weren’t treated with compassion or respect. Power does corrupt. I think of Jesus’ example that the leader must be a servant in HIS kingdom.

        2. You are right. If Fundy pastors no longer want a member (often because they fail to be completely submissive him) they will just discard them. It is painful and it is wrong. Jesus never treated people like that. Also, it is a shame these pastors manipulate people for money. I saw such behavior often in Lancaster.

          Glad you are free of the IFB.
          It gets better.

        3. Dear Cathy kelley:

          Seems I have the answer to my question…


          Christian Socialist

          PS: Jack’s words to you reveal nothing about your character, but they speak volumes about who he is.

        1. We loved Bob the Builder at our house too! It has been a very long time.

        2. At least I’m not as heathen as pastor’s wife. We watch Bob the Builder on DVDs, not the filthy television. I would never expose my family to those filthy sensual TV commercials or use my hard earned money to support the godless cable companies.

        3. Dear Lady Semp,

          At first I was offended by your comment about those of us who watch Bob the Builder as being heathen, but I’m glad you said something because now I am under deep conviction and have decided to fore go Bob until he cleans up his act, and I know he can do it.

          First of all, there’s all those imaginary creatures such as talking forklifts and a walking scarecrow, and we all know that they have their origins in the pre-Christian pagan mythology of Europe.

          Then there’s Bob’s relationship with his colleague Wendy. They spend a lot of time alone together with no chaperone, and I know it must be a source of constant temptation to them both. He needs to just marry that girl. Then there’s the way she dresses. Those pants make her look almost exactly like a man, yet at the same time are extremely provocative to any man who sees her. Bob needs to require her to start wearing culottes on the job. Of course then other men might see up her culottes while she is climbing a ladder, so she better just stay in the office and keep books for him. Worse yet, she actually seems to enjoy working.

          Worst of all, as mine husband pointed out, Wendy actually has a brain, which is a unwelcome trait in a fundy woman.



    1. Of course we can. We can do it in the mall. We can reply in the hall. We can post while on a bus. We can even make a fuss! We can break a thousand having fun. We can do it on the run. SFL is still our home. Let’s not leave each other alone.

      Thanks for StuffFundiesLike.net.

      I may be able to participate more once I get through my current batch of hell.

      1. The comments seem to have been stalled.
        Frankly, I am quite appalled.
        I want to reach the thousand goal.
        I’d say, “Amen!” and “Bless my soul!”
        I would, that is, except my gender
        Means I’d turn into an offender
        If I were to lift my voice.
        Silence is the holy choice,
        For church at least, but not the net.
        So I type on; I’m not dead yet.

        1. Let the women keep silent in the churches! Ha ha. ;-/

          It’s so nice to be free. It’s been a couple months now since we left the compound. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how important it is to have a voice, to be able to speak up for yourself, and to speak up for those who can’t speak for themselves. If you don’t have a voice you don’t have anything, but thank God he gave each us a voice.

          My hope and prayer now is that he will help me find my voice and use it to heal and to speak out against injustice.



  8. In the spirit of reaching 1000, this atheist will add his $0.02.

    While I first came here years ago to snicker and troll, I’ve come to greatly respect the perseverance and courage in the trials you all have been through, and to celebrate your recovery from Fundistan.

    Peace out.

    1. Thanks DoctorDJ. There are a few of us who are atheists. Others not so much. Me? I have been accused of being an atheist, and some days I “believe” more than other days. Still, overall, changes in faith bring a lot of freedom to understand instead of blindly accepting.

  9. Ex-Fundy Bucket List:

    This place has been a bit slow lately. I propose a Monday challenge: Now that you’ve finally left fundystan, what’s on your ex-fundy bucket list?

    It could be something as trivial as “I’m going to buy a pair of shorts that shows more than just my kneecaps,” to something profound and theological, such as, “I’m going to tell my toddler that he is a good boy without worrying that telling him that he is good is going to send him to hell.”


    1. Oh, wow! Your second comment – that sums up SO MUCH!!! They are so scared to ever focus on the good. They’re frightened to emphasize “too much” God’s love or grace or forgiveness because they think we’ll “take advantage of it” and not care enough and go wild morally if we think we can get away with it. So they diminish all the good news and emphasize the law.

      My bucket list? I’ve been out for six years or so now so I’ve broken a lot of their standards already (plus I’d already given up some trying to be a “balanced” fundy — I’d already gone to movies and worn pants, etc.) So anyway – for today I guess I’ll turn on some “uncheckable” music and wear shorts and in the future I’ll go to a zumba class.

  10. I’ve done so much that is un-fundy.

    Let’s see, I attended Catholic services for a few months, am currently missing more than attending services at a Protestant church, have sometimes attended Episcopal/Anglican services, have procured and consumed alcoholic beverages, worn clothing that goes well beyond HAC limits of acceptability, listened to rock music, DANCED to rock music, I know the expression “laters”, and have attended the moving picture house. So there’s not much left to do. Just need a tat or two.

    1. …gone to a KISS concert, got drunk in a foreign country, kissed a girl and I liked it, went swimming on a Sunday morning, actually enjoyed my life!, voted Democrat, smoked a cigar, smoked many cigars, spent $100 at a bar on whiskey, spent $100 at a bar on a single glass of whiskey, went to a halloween party with coworkers, attended a zombie walk….

      Basically lived my life and enjoyed it. And it is f*cking epic.

      1. I’m not living my life or enjoying it all that much, so that’s my ex-fundy bucket-list item numero uno.

        I think I’m getting close to drinking my first beer (and typing that out makes me realize just how weird that sounds).

        Socialize with heathens. Maybe socialize with heathens at a nudist retreat.

        To go with the first one, I want to one day be able to express my own opinion to the people who least get me.

        1. Well, best wishes on your ongoing recovery. Be blessed.

        2. Thank you. I’m going to take life by the balls and not let go until it cries ‘uncle’. One way or another, this is my year.

        3. In like a lamb, out like a lion bro. That should be 2016 for you Leo. And don’t ever forget you can enjoy life without effing it up.

          the Admiral

  11. Eight months after the esteemed one posted the final post and us losers keep coming back. We need to get a life. I guess you know how important a blog is when it refuses to die and it’s diehard fans keep performing CPR on it. Greetings and salutations to all who still haunt these nearly silent hallowed halls.

    the Admiral

        1. It should be noted; I’m a very humble person. I’m the most humble, really. To note it, to duly note it, would require something like a monument. Maybe a golden calf. A yuge golden calf. That would be nice.

  12. Thanks to everyone who responded to my “bucket list” question a couple of weeks ago. Here’s a few things on my bucket list that I’ve done already.

    -Wore shorts that showed the lower half of my thighs for the first time, in, um, decades. Glad my legs are OK after being smothered all those years.
    -Started sipping a little red wine in the evenings. Like Eve of long ago, I also persuaded the hubby to partake. If you don’t like the bitter taste, a tablespoon of wine in a glass of grape juice and seltzer water is really good. A couple of years ago, I was presented with hard-core scientific evidence at an Alzheimer’s convention that being a teetotaler is a risk factor for dementia.
    -Attended a church social gathering (NOT the fundy church I used to attend) without constantly worrying that other women would think I’m a bad wife because I work outside the home. Also didn’t worry about being judged as a mom because my toddlers act like . . . guess what? . . .toddlers!
    -Had my theology turned upside down.
    -Instead of asking “does that line up with scripture?” asking “does that line up with the character of Jesus of Nazareth?” Big difference. Scripture can be twisted to justify almost anything.
    -Paid my taxes and thought about the low-income families who will get medical care because of my tax dollars.

    Will update as I get to do more things on my bucket list.


    1. Awesome list!

      I wore shorter shorts than usual to a fair because it was super hot — then realized my mistake when the only place to wait while my kids rode the rides were the boiling hot metal benches! Haha. Wished I’d worn capris instead.

        1. I’m still trying to figure out why leo the lamb wants to wear a bikini and sit on the leather seat of a car parked in the summer sun.

    2. If you prefer your wine on the sweet side as opposed to dry, Barefoot makes an imaginatively named concoction called ‘sweet red wine’. It’s good, and not that expensive. If you like the fizz that seltzer offers, try some Riunite lambrusco. It’s got sweet and fizz going on.

      See if your local liquor store offers wine tastings. You can learn a lot and they are usually free.

  13. Eternity Road – Moody Blues

    Hark listen here he comes
    Hark listen here he comes
    Turning, spinning, catherine wheeling
    For ever changing
    There’s no beginning
    Speeding through a charcoal sky
    Observe the truth we cannot hide

    Travelling eternity road
    What will you find there?
    Carrying your heavy load
    Searching to find a piece of mind.

    You’ll see us all around
    You’ll see us all around
    Turning, spinning, catherine wheeling
    For ever changing
    There’s no beginning
    You’re so very far from home
    And so very much alone

    Travelling eternity road
    What will you find there?
    Carrying your heavy load
    Searching to find a piece of mind.

    Travelling eternity road
    What will you find there?
    Carrying your heavy load
    Searching to find a piece of mind.


  14. PW, I enjoyed that, though it took me a few seconds to be able to hear it right.

    BR1, that song has an interesting sound, but I was unable to get a feel for it.

    For a few months now my hearing has been impaired in such a way that music just sounds off to me. The melody sounds tinny (probably not the best word to describe it, but I don’t know how to describe it), and the vocals all kind of sound the same. If I know the song and think about how it’s supposed to sound and remember the uniqueness of the singer’s voice, then I can get my brain on track and hear the rest of the song normally, but sometimes the hold is tenuous. If the music is coming from a poor-quality sound system, then I have to try hard to ‘get it’. I guess the best way to describe this thing is to compare it to the way music sounds off when the radio in a moving car is on at very low volume. Sometimes your mind is able to fill in the auditory blanks from memory, until you hear it right again even though not all the information is coming through. If I’m listening to a song or artist I haven’t heard before, like in the two above links, then it’s impossible to hear it right unless I can get a feel for how the music and vocals could/should sound. It can be frustrating, and it puts a damper on my music enjoyment. I joke that it’s karma for all the times I complained that the new CCM songs all sound the same.

  15. 976 comments, with a goal of 1000 comments…

    You guys are former fundies!!! You can do this – it was always all about the numbers! You’ve learned from the best!

    Someone needs to make a big red thermometer! Or go door to door looking for souls who are willing to post a comment to help you reach your goal. OR, send emails to those who haven’t posted a comment in a while to guilt them into contributing.

      1. I wish I had been. Now I’ll never get my very own butt cushion. 🙁

        So, when you get to 1000, is someone going to have to eat a live goldfish?

        1. FTC, the Butt Cushion Couterier to the Bitter Former Fundies of SFL separated from us and no longer makes the invisible, non-existent butt cushions anyway. I should have several butt cushions by now but she never followed through. I don’t think she ever made them.

        2. Maybe she never followed through… or maybe you just misplaced them. I mean, if they are invisible and theoretical, their arrival could have come and gone without your notice, right?

          OR – maybe your butt cushions are like “treasure in heaven.” When you get there, besides your crowns, there will be a giant pile of butt cushions waiting for you.

        3. George, you and I both know it’s ‘couturier’. Go away and leave me alone.

        1. Ha ha. I’m only superior to women when I’m on top. But I prefer to be inferior. And interior.

  16. 10 to go…. cue up “The Final Countdown.”

    All these fun user names, racing to get to 1000 first… it kind of makes me crave Derby Pie and a mint julep.

    May the odds be ever in your favor.

    1. You should have seen me a while back, FTC. I was “The Innately Ignorant Lady Semp” for a while. I tip my steampunk hat to that troll for that name.

  17. Darrell,

    Is there cell service down that road in the picture you provided for this post? Somehow I doubt it.

    A Weary Traveler

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