Hover text for the win!
Seriously, though, even if this wasn’t anti-Christ in its sentiments, offensive in its language (“half-retarded fruit cake” to describe someone taking time out of their day to drive a verbose jackwagon from the airport?), and generally foolish in its tone, who the f*ck would take a person like this seriously?
Exactly what I thought.
Then I got to the bottom and saw this was the work of Phil Kidd. And that answers that question.
That is what I thought.
While I was reading through them, about halfway through I thought “This is the kind of shit someone like Phil Kidd would expect”. Pretty much lost it when I got to the end.
Half-retarded fruitcake? That must eliminate Mr. Kidd from any shuttle service to and from the airport in his Porsche or whatever he drives.
I think it eliminates him from being biblically qualified as an elder.
I think it eliminates him from being a decent human being.
Well, yeah, that’s kinda the point. For some reason, some strains of fundamentalism are willing to tolerate in their celebrities insanity, boorishness, self-centeredness, and immaturity. And now you know why Trump is a real candidate.
Trump is a real candidate because of fundamentalists? Don’t give them so much credit.
“Only two things are infinite- the Universe and Human Stupidity, and I’m not sure about the Universe” -attributed to Albert Einstein
I don’t presume to speak for Dr. F., but it seems to me that the reason Trump’s candidacy has suppoters is that many people don’t seem to mind him being boorish, racist, egomaniacal, a liar, and ignorant, or, more frighteningly, they see those characteristics as points in his favor.
Yes, and imagine being the guest speaker. The embarrassment to know that someone was an over-the-top-jerk on your behalf by putting together such a list. But, I suppose you’d have to have been vetted by him as a qualified speaker at that church… so…
The attitude in this list is wicked and evil.
John – The person who put that list together is the guest speaker. Phil Kidd is a traveling evangelist. Do a search for him here on SFL. He is a piece of work.
See what Scorpio said. This list is by Phill Kidd for Phil Kidd’s benefit.
Holy smokes! Even worse…
Now there is a guy with some serious ego inflation and entitlement issues! . . . oh, Phil Kidd. Never mind; too obvious.
Nothing is more repulsive than someone who believes his megalomania is endorsed my Jesus Himself
***THIS*** was intended to be a reply to Preacher’s Wife’s discernment.
Is this real? The grammar is atrocious.
Real? This is about par for the course for this kind of self-promoting pompous ass. Not much love or humility, either.
It’s typical of how “Doctor” Phil Kidd writes. Since you enjoy his style, you may want to buy some of his self-published books.
During my 15 years of missionary work, I always stayed in someone’s home when I visited a church. Sometimes the accommodations were quite modest (sharing a kid’s bedroom, for example), but they were always fun. I am still in contact with some of the families I visited 30 years ago. As to food, the head of a missions committee promised me a really nice lunch out after church. So, he and his wife took me to Burger King. The pastor almost had a cow when he found out (there were plenty of nice restaurants in town, and no budget issues), but it was one of the most fun lunches I ever had. Mr. Kidd needs to learn humility. God has an interesting way of doing it, too, when we always insist on our own “high” standards for the treatment we think we deserve.
My Dad spent many nights in the home of parishioners when he was invited as the speaker for evangelistic meetings. One time the love gift for the “sacrifice of his children” was a miniature dachshund. JoJo had an overbite so the breeder couldn’t sell him so our “love gift” was “defective.” We loved him anyway. The list would have never entered
Dad’s mind. He was there not to be served, but to serve.
Dad went to be with the Lord May 12; he would have been 99 next month. Heaven is sweeter!
He earned his reward.
Phil Kidd has earned his, too, but not the same ones, and not in the same Hereafter.
Your father’s sounds like a life well lived. He and the people who knew him were a lot more fortunate those who come into contact with Phil Kidd.
Who could say such things. Terrible.
Someone whose CELEBRITY rider contracts should be on The Smoking Gun.
If you put the visiting preecher up in the same hotel as other church visitors, they might catch a glimpse of a prostitute going into his room…to receive spiritual counseling, of course.
Oh, I think you are on to the real reason he wants to stay separately from others who could recognize him.
…or see him bringing in a six-pack of beer. But my bet is still on the prostitute.
It could be any (or all) of several possibilities – but all have to do with being able to drop his pastor persona when he gets to his “private” hotel.
Probably more than beer because Phil Kidd clearly can’t think “soberly” as Paul instructs us in Romans 12:3. This guy has to be some kind of lush :^)
His story was on “Unshakled” back in the day. They always featured people (almost always men) who had “been saved out of” alcoholism, drug addiction, crime, etc. I don’t remember his particular vice, but it is still a problem? Or he is an arrogant jerk who doesn’t want to mingle with the “little people” if he can avoid it (just like Jesus, dontcha know). Or both.
“But MAYBE it is still a problem”
George caught up with me!
Naah… George got it right
Either eventuality could result in the need for some same-day dry cleaning…
Phil Kidd makes a lot of jokes in his sermons about marihuana.
Or if the money isn’t good enough for a high-end prostitute, you might catch him trolling at the hotel bar.
Why do you think he needs his expense money in advance?
Dear Phil Kidd:
Please tell me you’re joking.
If you’re not joking, please explain how it is that you reverse Jesus’ dictum that he came not to be served but to serve.
This is funny, very funny. Not funny ha ha, but funny peculiar.
“I did not come to be served, but to serve” what a terrible contrast 🙁
Wow. Is this somewhere where we can comment on it?
I wrote “yeah because humility is overrated” – I’m sure I’ll be promptly blocked
Nope, still there. But it’s early.
I wrote “demanding better service than Jesus himself did: tasteless”.
I guess I may as well see if I can get blocked from his twitter account as well as his FB one.
From a strictly financial standpoint:
If funds are tight – start taking special offering ahead of time
Use nicest motel…
All the love offering should go to the preacher…
…take him to restaurants he likes best
…I ask for a rental car
How about, if funds are tight (see #1) maybe the guest speaker should serve this struggling church by waiving his typical love offering and “nice” hotel, food, and car preferences, and just be happy to stay in someone’s home instead. Perhaps he could be grateful that a volunteer took time out of his day to pick him up at the airport and drive him around town. Perhaps he should be a grown up and handle his own dry cleaning.
Mail his expense check prior to the meeting
If he is getting his expense check prior to the meeting then why isn’t he using that money to make his own $#@% motel reservations (being careful to ensure the place offers overnight dry cleaning), select his own rental car, buy gifts for his own wife and kids, etc.
Sounds a bit like a totally obnoxious double-dipper to me.
#8 – “strained at the motel”
What? What’s he straining to do at the motel?
I saw that. He meant “stranded” but he is semi illiterate himself and didn’t know better.
Did you notice the other grammatical problems with these directions? People write like they think. The man can’t think straight! So would I want to get spiritual direction from this guy? Much less, pay for him?
Now some speakers are worth paying a lot of money to hear. Some speakers have a lot of real preparation to get done before a meeting. Kidd isn’t one of those.
He doesn’t want to be strained at the motel. He can wait until he gets to the church to strain gnats and swallow camels.
If he strains too hard, he might blow out an O-Ring. Seriously.
Well when you’re that full of it . . . .
Jesus would have totally agreed with Dr. Kidd’s list. He was always insisting that he got the best treatment, AmIRight?
Especially free dry cleaning
Maybe if evangelists would wear practical clothes instead of stuff that needs dry-cleaning this wouldn’t be an issue.
He can’t put his Mont Blanc pen in a cotton shirt pocket
This list is disgusting. My stomach churned reading it.
I also find it curious to suggest putting the pastor in a separate hotel and making sure he’s left alone. Sounds like one MOG scratching the back for the other.
“Evangelist Phil Kidd” dreads having to “put up with” the people he’s “evangelizing”– or, as he prefers to call them, “half retarded fruit cakes.”
I understand his feelings on this one, I think. It’s tough for a fully retarded fruitcake to maintain their air of superiority around a fruitcake that’s only half retarded, let alone anyone else.
Silly me, I was reading the list thinking whoever wrote it was talking about other visiting preachers. #2 should have been a disturbing giveaway, but I got to 7 before I got it.
What the heck is up with these far-right Christians and their love of using ‘retarded’ as a slur? I have a pretty strong suspicion that this isn’t something Jesus would’ve ever done.
It’s saying “we’re not going to let the liberal media and political correctness dictate to us how we speak” out of one side of their mouth and “Jesus loves me best let me show you how I’ll share him with you” out the other side.
They don’t even try to save both faces
There. Fixed it for ya, Paul.
Just reading that list has just reduced my IQ by 60 points.
I can just tell. 😉
#11. When offering the preacher something to sign (like a Bible, bulletin, or baby), avoid making him use a Bic pen. Instead, offer a Mont Blanc or better…
You’ve got to be…. wait for it…
(My apologies if this has already been used.)
No way this is real, it’s a great parody.
Oopsie, just visited the originating twitter link, holy cow, is this guy “Kidd”-ing?
I had the same thought process. I was really hoping this was another “ha ha funny” list until the tweet was posted. Unbelievable.
I’m sure that Jesus sent just such a list ahead of him every time he visited Capernaum.
Especially for the nice, new rental chariot.
He would never roll the chariot
Someday, someone is going to write an exposé on preachers that collect full salaries, then invite their fellow preachers to “guest speak” at their church where the expenses/honorariums are covered from the “guest speaker” budget and the guest is additionally paid with love offerings.
The guest speaker in turn invites the initial pastor to HIS church a few months later where his members foot the bill for the guest’s payment.
Both sets of members are cajoled that they “need to take care of the man of God” without being told that both pastors are already collecting full salaries for preaching from their home churches.
And after all, back at the home church of the guest speaker, they are having a “preacher boy” night where little 12-year old Johnny is going to get some valuable experience by preaching the Word. For free. (Because while the church is paying for a full time pastor, but he is off moonlighting tonight at another church for some extra cash. Aren’t we proud that our pastor is so popular that other churches want him to speak to them?)
Even when I was thoroughly immersed in the Fundy kool aid, I always had a problem with the “love offerings” for the guest speakers. I grew up in a Southern Baptist Church and “love offerings” were taken up for the members who were going through a difficult time, such as a serious illness, or unexpected death or a catastrophic event. I have a problem with guest speakers being given a check in addition to a “love offering” on top of their salary.
This is a huge issue in Fundystan. My former mannogawd makes approximately mid$$$,$$$, plus speaking fees, free cruises, book profits (doesn’t the church pay to publish it? Bet their Bible college makes students buy the pastor’s books…plus the church “gives” pastor’s books away to visitors. Cha-ching!), travel expenses, housing allowance, church vehicle, etc.
Is this income honestly disclosed to the congregation?
…or disclosed to the IRS?
To be fair, a lot of evangelicals suffer from this as well. I am frankly sick of the celebrity circus.
With the typical Fundy grasp of history, when you call their act a circus, they think it is a complement. Since Christians died at the Roman Circus, it must be good to be in a circus “suffern’ fer gid”.
Yes. It’s a big reason why, since I’m in the position to look for a new church, I’m loathe to try the local baptist church. I’m sick of famous evangelicals. I just want church… No celebrity. Just church.
It isn’t necessarily just celebrity pastors. It is more than often just Joe Preacher who met a few other Jim Preachers at some Bible conference and they started inviting each other to guest speak. Along the way they start to figure out that being a guest speaker every couple of months brings in an extra $500-$1000, and all they have to do is continue the cycle and each of them benefits in turn.
Yep. The “MOGs” love to name drop via quotes from some of these ‘celebrity’ preachers.
A fundy pastor who makes 6 figures?
It was $250,000 back in 2001. 14 years later, I am sure it is much higher. He likes to think of himself to a CEO.
Could this pompous douche bag be any more offensive and pretentious?
Of course he could. Don’t challenge him like that, neither underestimate his talents.
Reminds me of a good joke. A boss is chewing out his employees in the “war room” and says, “And I’m going to stop saying, ‘How stupid can you be?!’ because some of you people seem to be taking it as a personal challenge!”
He will try. Oh yes, he will try.
Isn’t this the same man who rolled his Ferrari and injured his wife, and than thanked God that his Mont Blanc pen hadn’t fallen from his wallet? And never mentioned his wife?
Not Ferrari; Jaguar
Looks like he banned his wife from twitter; I cannot find her account. Interesting that in five months of posts, he mentions his wife 5 times, and it’s usually “my wife and I”
Can’t find her profile anymore on facebook either – I think she complained about her car crash injuries a little too much …
According to this, his wife is the “First Lady of Emmaus Baptist Church”. No mention if there is a 2nd lady (or 3rd, etc.)
Thank God you posted this. The Bishop of my Annual conference is coming to preach at my church next March. I need to make sure we have all of these things in order……oh wait, none of these are on the Annual Conferences’ check list for Bishop visits. Oddly, my bishop refuses any payment for preaching, despite him having to travel 2 hours on a Sunday morning to get to my church. A love offering that is received will go to the bishop’s choice of charity.
For all the harassment the IFB gives to the mainline churches, our bishops seem to be more humble than IFB pastors.
He gets to choose the charity? But what happens if he chooses one that doesn’t use the same version of the Bible as your church???
Why is this odd? Bishops are fully salaried.
In the Episcopal church, traditionally the non-pledge offering goes to the Bishop’s discretionary fund and is handled through the diocese’s financial system.
The bishop is expected to visit every congregation at least every three years. A suffragan, coadjutor or assistant bishop may do this in some dioceses.
Many IFB pastors are fully salaried, too.
They still expect to be paid for preaching.
I wish Jesus would barge in and overturn his pulpit. If only…..
If Jesus barged into a church where Kidd was preaching, no on would recognize Him.
They would complain about his haircut an the fact that he isn’t dress appropriately for Church. He would be pitched out on His ear 🙁
Those hirelings need to work a commercial job (full time).
not saying it is odd for Bishops but I think it is odd what is expected by IFB pastors and speakers….
And our bishop could never visit every church every three years. I think the Bishop gets to 12 a year–our conference has over 700 churches….
Methodist? They have District Superintendents, I think.
We also have Bishops. Bishops oversee the Annual Conference. Each Annual Conference have at least 5 districts which are headed by District Superintendents.
Muhammad Ali is more humble than some IFB pastors.
There’s talk on the street, it sounds so familiar
Great expectations, everybody’s watching you
People you meet they all seem to know you
Even your old friends treat you like you’re something new
Johnny-come-lately, the new “Kidd” in town
Everybody loves you, so don’t let them down
+1 for Eagles reference.
11. Grammar tutor.
Hmmmm… Kidd visited my old church many years ago when I was a teenager. We definitely fit the definition of a struggling church! I’m not sure we did all of this except the love offering and maybe some travel expenses. Of course, he might not have been so famous then, so maybe he couldn’t demand star treatment. He was every bit as obnoxious though!
Did he ever come back?
Wow. I left a comment also. It would be interesting if he replied. I figure it will be another ban for me, although I would miss the comedy routines.
I was in Pigeon Forge a couple of weeks ago. A brother, an SFL reader, and his wife were in our group. I asked if he wanted to find Kidd’s cabin to see his trophy case and was given a firm “NO”.
Like I would have gone anyway.
10 Things to do When You are Visiting A Church to Preach
1. Pray for the church.
2. If you have a speaking fee, pro-rate it based on the church’s financial circumstances.
3. Accept whatever accommodations are offered, no matter how humble, with a grateful heart.
4. Try to keep travel expenses as low as possible.
5. Accept whatever food is offered with a grateful heart.
6. If someone is taking time to pick you up from an airport, realize their time is just as valuable as yours, and show appropriate gratitude.
7. Spend much time praying and studying in order to deliver well-prepared, thoughtful messages.
8. Spend some time, whenever possible, getting to know the people of the church. Listen to their stories. Rejoice with them. Weep with them. They are your brothers and sisters after all.
9. If your own financial situation allows, anonymously donate the love offering to the church’s benevolence fund, food pantry, or other ministry that serves the poor.
10. At all times, try to reflect the love and grace of God.
Bless you. Of course, lists like this are why women can’t be preachers.
No doubt Kidd would classify me as a “silly woman,” per his “What’s wrong with America list” further down the thread.
I like what he has on his FB page,”I’m not one to advocate Halloween in any way. But this year I’m going to wear an Obama mask and take half the candy from kids bags that are willing to go after it and give it to fat,lazy,sorry kids to worthless to get off the couch or put down their x-box long enough to go get their own!”
To? and Worthless? Wow. What a piece of scum.
If Obama were as leftist as right-wingers think he is, Philly the Kidd’s “ministry” would have lost its tax exemption. The administration could have used already-existing laws to yank the exemptions of”nonprofits” that are blatantly political; but it has not done so, and I’m pretty sure it won’t.
Well said! Of course, you assume that the church HAS a food pantry or other such ministry. I have yet to see an IFB church that has a food pantry but I could be wrong.
Yes! Now THIS represents the attitude of Christ.
The only issue with #5 is if the visiting pastor has a food allergy or is restricted from certain foods… a good host should ask, but not everyone thinks about this.
Dear Miss TTU Runner-Up:
Thank you for this. I know of a humble servant [Lutheran] who is retired and goes about preaching for pulpit supply refusing to receive compensation. Behold the difference!
What does this kid even mean by this?
Kidd is both a travelling “evangelist” and part of a local “ministry”. the Tweet means that when he “preaches” at Kidd’s “church” he is treated in accordance with Kidd’s list of rider demands.
He means that he wrote the list, but insists that it’s not about what he, as a visiting preacher, wants. Unh huh, sure.
Oh, the person who re-tweeted the list? That “Dr.” Kidd gives to other visiting preachers what he recommends for himself. Good for him, if his congregation can afford it. It’s not like he’s doing these things with his own money.
Well that makes everything better! Kidd abides be the list, so you should too!
Practicing what you preach is only a virtue if what you preach is good.
I’m not sure, but I know(knew) Zorn personally…and I never knew that he knew Kidd…or even liked him…makes sense now that I think about it, though… Zorn once spent a good portion of his “sermon” detailing how he’d shoot a home invader… Fancies himself a “youth evangelist” this really just consists of him bashing contemporary Christian music for a half hour…
RE #’s 5 & 6: If Tony Hutson is your visiting preacher, be prepared for PLENTY of “food expense.”
I have a ministry I started and perform every week. It involves my planning, driving about 150 miles round trip, and most of the purchase of the supplies. I have been given some money occasionally from people who appreciate what I am doing, but I don’t often ask for money, and as much as I would be able, I’d probably do the ministry even without contributions. It’s a prison ministry.
I cannot get a focus on the deep pomposity of a person who’d make a list like Kidd has done.
I’ve been traveling to churches for the past 20 years or so, singing and preaching.
I have never required nor even asked for expense checks, special restaurants, or even love offerings. Most churches pass the plate or give me an honorarium. Sometimes it costs me more to minister at a church than they give me, but another church usually gives a really good love offering soon after that helps us make ends meet.
I don’t do this while pastoring, except on very rare occasions. (I have pastored a total of 9 years out of 22 years in the ministry).
I currently do this and am unable to work any other job because of massive heart problems.
Over the years, I have met many great Christians, usually in small churches in out of the way places. The larger churches are the ones that have often invited me to travel long distances and neglected to give me anything or give me a check that is far less than the travel expenses were. The small churches have sometimes embarrassed me with love offerings that were more than I deserved (often when I was in great need, though I don’t go around telling anyone).
I would never even think about giving a list like this to someone, even if they asked! I would also never have in a preacher who would devise a list like this.
Jesus washed the feet of his disciples; Phil Kidd wants you to pick up his dry cleaning. Bit of a difference there.
What hath IFB “evangelists” to do with Jesus of Nazareth?
Jesus not only washed the disciples’ feet, I bet he even washed his own socks – something that appears to be beneath the dignity of Philly the Kidd
I’ve heard a different version of this speech…not directly demanding these things (that was done in the preacher’s wife’s class to only girls) but a whole speech on how to deal with the dumb hosts and churches you would end up at, especially how to come up with compliments that were techinically true but “polite.” Also, things like working to ignore congregations chewing gum that looked like dull cows chewing their cuds. Devaluing.
I have seen that attitude. They see themselves as the ruling class, and the rest of the congregation as mere peons.
Yes, I see this attitude quite a bit; “we are the elite; the smart, the spiritual” trying to get a bunch of uneducated, clueless, hicks to do right.
The Cream of Christendom.
Rich, thick and full of Clots.
In typical Fundy fashion, instead of showing me why he is right (which Kidd cannot do), I have been banned from viewing Kidd’s Twitter feed.
I’m going to miss the occasional forays into Moronika.
Don’t worry. Kiddistan is only a small part of Moronika. Besides there are other territories of craziness to explore with the parallel universe of Fundystan
Phil Kidd, well, what can I say? He lacks social graces, Christian grace, and makes me say grace that I have no truck with him. Sweet Jesus, have mercy on your church and make him a Muslim Amen.
Aren’t you being unkind to the Muslims there?
What. nothing about M&Ms?
No. 7 reminds me of a situation I heard of, where a lama flew in to visit a New York dharma center, and the person who volunteered to drive them in took this as an opportunity to ask all her personal questions on the way. They arrived at the center late because at one point, she stopped the car so they could keep talking.
(Slaps forehead) Hover-text beat me to it! But wrong brand.
I honestly don’t understand needing dry cleaning done. Wouldn’t you just pack enough clothes for the weekend or week?
Personal Prosperity Gospel is how you afford a Jaguar, a Mont Blanc pen, and a cabin in the mountains.
…and here I thought that PPG was a weapon on Babylon 5
Fake doctor Phil Kidd appears to be trying to make a buck selling pro-gun signs. Maybe posting this ad on 10/3/15 was a bit too soon after the school shooting in Oregon…well, unless he was trying to capitalize on that hideous tragedy.
I do not understand his verbiage and the timing of this is indeed in poor taste.
Jesus loved Phil Kidd enough to give His life on the cross. Phil Kidd loves Phil Kidd enough to take your life should he feel you threaten his stuff.
The Gospel does not go well with Guns.
No “turn the other cheek” for ol’ Phil. None of that “give him your cloak also,” either.
In most of the churches I have been a part of this is the exact attitude, just stated a little more politely. At a lot of churches a visiting pastor, even if not speaking or requested to come, will get a love offering. I figured out a long time ago that these people have a racket going where they get free money and vacations.
Those of you who aren’t sure who Phil Kidd is might want to read this:
In a nutshell: Phil Kidd rolled his Jag and went online to proclaim that God loved him because his hair wasn’t even mussed, while namedropping his Mont Blanc pen. Meanwhile, his wife (who he did not mention) went online to express gratitude for the prayers on her behalf as she underwent treatment for the spinal fracture she suffered in the same accident.
And that’s all I need to know about Phil Kidd.
Well it appears that they forgot a few bullet points.
* save some money aside special for the pit stop at the strip club on the way home.
*any drug paraphernalia must be disposed of before the service starts.
* go ahead and fabricate a story, find an attorney now, before the molestation charges start coming in post visit.
I think that about covers why they forgot. Lolz.
Well I’m blocked. How very mature of him. 😛 Demonstrates clearly that he has no answer and cannot defend this atrocious lack of grace.
Same here, but my comment still shows on my Twitter feed, and any follower (not that I have many) who is curious can link to his, so they can see his foolishness.
Now he can brag about his persecution and use himself for yet more sermon examples. The fight goes on, even if it is just shadow boxing. He is exactly who Paul referenced in 1 Cor. 9:26, 27
KJV I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air: But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.
AMPTherefore I do not run without a definite goal; I do not flail around like one beating the air [just shadow boxing]. But [like a boxer] I strictly discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached [the gospel] to others, I myself will not somehow be disqualified [as unfit for service].
There are so many Scriptures that show “preachers” like Kidd unfit for service. I’d like someone tyo show me one passage that aligns with his egotistical ways.
There just isn’t. He is not a Christian minister if those words mean anything.
We are oft to blame in this, – ’tis too much proved, – that with devotion’s visage, and pios action we do sugar o’er the devil himself.
Sarcastically I’d say, “Oh you poor thing!”
Sincerely I’d say, “Consider yourself blessed to have a wall between you and this guy.”
Why say either? I’m amused that he would find me block-worthy; and he’d have to personally threaten my health and wellbeing for me to be glad about a wall.
It shows Phil Kidd is a coward, unable to honestly answer those with opposing views. He only wants to talk in the safety of an echo-chamber.
Precisely. The fun thing is, even blocked, I can still tweet at him. So I called him out on the block. He’ll just have to deal with that. He can’t get rid of it.
And this very sage tweet from Phil Kidd:
@DrPhilKidd: If I could preach n Washington 2day!
5 Things Killing America.
I guess I am going to have to rely on you for this type of information. I am blocked from his Twitter feed now, too. Apparently he objects to scripture. I even used the KJV. All I sent him was this, Zechariah 11:16
Well, it must be truth—it’s alliterated!
Or in his case, illiterate-ated.
Mean, but funny!
I was once actually called a “silly woman laden with sins”.
By my father. He didn’t realize, I don’t think, that quoting that particular verse meant he was calling me that (he was trying to get me to break up with a boyfriend he didn’t like), but it’s stung for years.
Nice to know that Phil Kidd thinks that “silly” is as threatening that a woman can possibly be. He doesn’t think much of them, obviously.
That certainly wouldn’t include Phil. He never says he’s sorry about anything. That would come too close to admitting he made a mistake.
Dude, you can preach in Washington any time you want to.
What you can’t do is spell “today.”
To the tune of “God Save the Queen”/”My Country ‘Tis of Thee:”
Honour Gawd’s faithful man
In every way you can.
Show him your love!
Contact the best hotel.
Let him in comfort dwell–
Far from the crowd, as well,
That he’s above.
Rent him a shiny car;
Perhaps a Jag-u-ar,
He’ll be inspired.
Don’t send some half wit out
To drive Gawd’s man about!
How can he scream and shout
If he is tired?
And if you’re still not broke,
Dry clean his royal cloak
That he may say
One day before the LORD,
“For me no gifts are stored.
I re-ceived my reward–
That was my pay!”
Spot on regarding “Dr.” Kidd and his ilk. Well done!
We have a winner!
You won the internet today.
Dear Ben Padraic:
You wrote: ‘half-retarded fruit cake.’
I reply: This debases on your performance expectations as African Americans are would be debased to describe them as as ‘spear-chuckers.’ In addition to insulting, disgusting and contemptible, your behavior is sub-Christian.
that is AMAZING! LMAO
Ahahaha!! Bravo! Bravo!!
#s 7 and 8: He forgot to mention the make and model year of the car.
A brand-new Jaguar, por favor. With a “Mont Blonc” pen in it.
Funny how when most people got to the end and saw “Phil Kidd” they said “oh”. There are just certain preachers that people expect crazy from. I’ve thought about who is the craziest and Kidd certainly ranks up there but I think I still have to go with Steven Anderson.
By the time I read #5, I already had thought, “boy, this sounds as crazy as Phil Kidd.”
My wife’s grandfather was a traveling evangelist. He was a humble man, saved in his 20s, heard the call to preach and at one time even had a radio program! While he had ecumenical contacts, he was best known among the Plymouth Brethren.
He stayed with a family if he could. But if he couldn’t, he was an expert at finding cheap motels! He never got rich — never wanted to. He was a fundamentalist with few of the blatant flaws found in today’s gaggle of honking geese.
He helped my wife and I out a lot. He helped me with my undergrad expenses so I could continue without dropping out. He really loved his granddaughter, and he loved me as well.
Part of the hard time I had leaving fundamentalism was his memory. It has hindered my wife from leaving even more. But as I remember him, he was nothing like most fundamentalists of his own day, much less our own. He was loving and genuine and unselfish. He didn’t rant from the pulpit. He believed in grace.
He was a product of his generation, imbued with their prejudices but somehow avoiding the worst effects. In other words, he was much more liberally-minded than he could have known.
I believe he would approve of my separation from fundamentalism now. Surely, in heaven he gets a clearer vision of what fundies have become, of what they are really doing and really worshipping. I have communicated this to my wife, and she seemed happy to see it from that way.
My wife will be joining me in Indiana in a week and a half! I am excited! She and my daughter will go to the Episcopal Church with me. This church has enough young people her age and children that she will not feel so isolated. There will be things for her to do. And they will get a chance to hear the oh-so-important different perspectives from a priest and preacher who is interesting and desiring to increase the ability of people to minister to others without his leading or oversight.
Having read a lot of your comments over the last several months (my reading, I mean; I know some of the comments are older), I am so happy to read this. Made me smile. Blessings on you all.
Thank you! I am hopeful. It isn’t as if everything is quite “okay” as yet. But there has been a significant start.
Hope you can find a church that is live-streaming the Presiding Bishop’s installation on Nov. 1. Bishop Curry is undoubtedly the best preacher in the Episcopal Church.
Yes. I’ve heard him twice in person and listen to a video. He is truly remarkable. How anyone could listen to what he says and call it apostasy is beyond me. Sigh. Then, too, I called such men apostates without ever actually listening. We were warned against hearing them lest we be tempted and drawn away by their lies. Paul was quoted extensively.
Fortunately, Jesus said we should know them by their fruits.
So happy to hear your good new, rtgmath.
Interesting that you say your wife’s grandfather’s memory has kept both you and your wife where you have been. I had the same experience with my grandmother and her father. They were good people, PBs but still good, kind, liberal people. I think they would also have seen the error of the fundies of today.
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