271 thoughts on “Many Meetings”

  1. How about
    “NO expository preaching.”
    “NO exploration of new methods.”
    “NO negative evaluation of our past.”
    “NO doubting the MOG.”
    “NO questioning the revisionist history of our movement.”
    “NO nice things said about the Southern Baptists and/or any Calvinists.”
    “NO using the interwebz to publish our nonsensical articles.”
    “NO talkin’ bad bout our host pastor’s son, who got ousted from his old church, divorced, and found a new church in the area to pastor all within a year.”
    “NO people wearing comfortable clothing to a conference in the middle of a blazing summer.”
    “NO questioning if those gazillion professions of salvation we received last week were for real or not.”

    1. “NO people wearing comfortable clothing to a conference in the middle of a blazing summer.”

      This is no joke, they actually had a Taylor set-up in the booth area, next to the 1611 King James Bible salesman, selling suits at this conference. (or at least at the one I attended a few years back.

    2. Dear Larry:

      Your first point goes to the heart of so much of what is said about the fundamentalist movement.

      Despite the instant course of counter-assertions, fundamentalism does not preach the Bible. If fundamentalism submitted itself to the rule of God, it would cease to exist as we know it.

      I’ll grant that I don’t move in fundamentalist circles, but when it comes to hearing the Spirit’s voice and following the Spirit’s lead, no one I know thinks of fundamentalism.

      Christian Socialist

  2. Here are the NOs that I want to hear about:

    NO condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. (Rom. 8:1)

    NO thing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus. (Rom. 8:39)

    NO one who can condemn us (Rom. 8:34)

    NO thing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving because everything God created is good (1 Tim. 4:4)

    I will fear NO evil (Ps. 23:4)

    There is NO fear in love but perfect love drives out fear (1 John 4:18)

    They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the LORD. (Ps. 112:7)

    C’mon, SotL. THESE are the kinds of NOs you should be preaching about. How these powerful truths shine with the beauty of the Gospel, especially in contrast to the trivial things that seem of such great importance to this conference.

    1. # 1 is pure ecumenicism and pollutes the purity of the IFB®

      #2 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? – 2 Corinthians 6:14 kjv (self explanatory)

      #3 oh you’re one of them? One of those Matthew 7:1 you can’t judge me proof texters… yeah we know all about you and your brand of heresy.

      #4 If it’s a sin for me then it’s a sin for you. – so sayeth Brother Lestor Rolloff and that’s good enough for me.

      #5 You had better fear evil, a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump. (because we know that evil is more powerful than good… or at least we live that way)

      … I can’t go on.
      trying to think like a Fundie is poisonous to the soul.

      I feel like I need a shower now. *blech*

  3. My favorite was “NO bad Bibles.”

    What? Do they do a Bible version check at the door? Although I would NEVER attend such a meeting, and wouldn’t gain entry to such a meeting as I would be wearing pants not a dress, but it would be fun to show up with a nonKJV version and be that one person doing the read-along loudly with different words.

    1. yes they probably will.
      The IFB® cult is serious about it’s purity, and to them anything other than a 1611 KJVB is considered sinful. Thus for there to be anything other than an authorized King Jimmy in the midst of that exalted gathering of the super-saints of their god… is considered pollution and will in all likelihood hinder the work of their version of the Holy Spirit. (and that is not hyperbole, they believe that to be so)

        1. That phrase is growing on me. “Limited omnipotence” — God has all Power that the Fundies want Him to have, but is powerless otherwise. He is a God in a Box (with apologies to the Doctor!).

  4. “No Gospel will be preached!”
    (only a twisted, man-centered, decisional regeneration, you are co-captain of your own Salvation and then only if you are read the Romans Road from a 1611 King Jimmy authorized Bible and come bow down at the old fashioned altar at the feet of the Mog… type of gospel)

    No Grace will be preached!
    (Only Law, and then only the IFB® authorized version of it)

    No one will actually preach “Jesus” unless using him as an illustration that exalts the Mog.
    (Nothing is more important at this conference than the speakers and the stories of the souls they have won for “the Cause of Christ™©® )

    I have been there and witnessed it firsthand. It really is a sick. perverted cult festival celebrating the fact that they, and they alone have the truth, and they are the only True Christians left on the face of God’s earth (according to IFB® doctrine.)

    1. Yup. No Gospel! No Grace. Just requirements.

      Which points out something interesting. They believe that they believe. They enforce grace by the works of the law. They punish you so you will love them and love God. They lie to you so you will believe the truth. They blast the intolerance of others for being intolerant of them. The ends justify the means. If they sin, blame their victims.

      And on and on it goes. I think they sincerely think they are serving God and have God’s approval. They think they have the mind of Christ, the Wisdom of God and the knowledge of the truth. They see themselves as being on fire for God, ready to let the rest of the world burn. Yet like the Laodiceans they don’t know their true condition.

      So what gives? Why can’t they see what they have become? I really do think they are sincere. But I see no evidence that there is a Holy Spirit in their lives or their ministries. I see no work of conscience. I see little actual humility. I see no real understanding of Scripture and it’s relevance. I see no desire to make the world a better place, more just, to honor what God has created and those created in His Image.

      It is as if God has abandoned Faith to its own vices and devices. If God had the Power they claim for Him, wouldn’t it be evidenced in the world? In them?

      It is as if, for all their believing, they are no more than functional atheists with no real moral compass.

      1. money, power, control…
        The SOTL conference is about saving their livelihood, their way of life, their traditions. This conference is an all-out effort to sure-up the true believers and do something to increase the numbers in a dying sect. It is a sales pitch to the faithful reassuring them that all their piety and sacrificial giving to the Man of god is not in vain.

        It is the desperate grasping for something of substance in a world of shadows.

      2. They certainly believe in something, but I don’t think it’s the Gospel of Christ, although they may call it that.
        They believe in their own power and rightness. All their sermons and publications spend much more time praising themselves than praising the Lord.

      3. I must defend the atheists I know. They do have a moral compass, it’s just that they are at the center of it, and take responsibility for it, rather than leaving morality up to the commands of a god they don’t believe exists. While it is possible for atheists to be completely amoral, the picture of amoral atheists is mostly a straw man. At least atheists accept that they are responsible for their own behavior, unlike a certain set of Christians, who blame everything on God and expect to be forgiven, whatever they do.

        1. I don’t agree entirely. Some atheists are truly altruistic, much more so than the average funny MoG.

          The rest of. Your post I agree with.

      4. Dear rtgmath:

        1. Invent a religion for self-righteous fun and profit.
        2. Posit yourself as God’s mediators of that religion.
        3. Corner the market by denying the authenticity of rivals.

        Christian Socialist

  5. So I looked up Walkertown, NC. The nearest hotel is five miles away in Winston-Salem, and it’s not highly rated.

    So, a national conference in Walkertown. I guess Atlanta wasn’t available.

    1. Its always in Walkertown because Bobby Roberson pastors that church and has always been a big pusher of the SOTL. Plus they got to get a little distance away from the libruls down at Piedmont International University in Winston Salem…those IFB’s that don’t run buses and use the NKJV make their stomachs turn.

    2. Before I started visiting SFL, I had no idea that the place I now call home was the hub of IFB-dom.

      (Actually, we live in Germanton, which is just north of Winston-Salem, but I work in Winston, and I’ve certainly been through Walktertown a time or two. But I don’t recall that Gospel Light church. I’m sure I’ve seen it; it just hasn’t registered. Around these parts, you can’t bung a brick without hitting a Baptist church.)

      1. I googled Gospel Light, imagine it is on Gospel Light drive and the large number of buses in the parking lot of the school, (thank you Google Street), made me cringe. There are truly that many people that send their kids there? That is unsettling.

        1. Maybe they don’t have that many kids in the school. Maybe they only use some of the buses on Sundays to round up “bus kids.”

        2. It is the current Mothership of the IFB® cult in this area. There are a couple that are contending for the title and are waiting for their chance to be the Flagship of all things Fundie around here. Once Bobbie Robertson hands over the reigns there will be a momentary power vacuum and the three contenders will rush to challenge Gospel Light for the title. But as long as the SOTL conference is held at GL then they will be the defacto lead ship.

        3. I was a student at Piedmont Bible College (now Piedmont Intl U) from 1984 to 1987. My dad was a prof there in the 70’s. Some of my friends at school went to Gospel Light. Winston-Salem is a good sized city. They won’t have any trouble finding good hotels. I think that area has better Fundy creds than Atlanta.

          the Admiral

      2. It’s kinda off the beaten path in Walkertown. Between Hwy 158 and East mountain St in Kernersville. You don’t really go by it unless you are going there on purpose.

        (I work in Walkertown)

        1. Lord Don works in Walkertown!
          Let’s start a rumor that Don is really Bobby Roberson.
          He gives out the IFB party line in public and says what he really thinks on the Internet.

    3. We SFL Tarheel Staters should get together somewhere for beers and wings or something, sometime when the weather’s nicer!

  6. What do they mean by bad bibles? Are there bibles that run around after curfew, have long hair, and play punk rock while seducing the farmer’s daughter?

  7. NO-critical thinking

    NO-Biblical teaching

    NO-women allowed to speak

    NO-children without comb-overs or white athletic shoes under skirts

    NO-speakers with earned doctorates 🙂

    NO-admissions that the Christian life will have it’s share of difficulties

    NO-references to current/pending/perceived scandals within Fundyland

    NO-ladies’ Bibles without needlepoint Bible cover

    NO-men who do not pretend to be master of their domain

    NO-charismatic displays (except for aisle runn’ and pew climbin’ Hay-men!!)

    NO-godless heathens that read blogs such as stufffundieslike.com….or anything sanctioned by Jeri Massi

    NO-people who do NOT revere their MOG and the apostle Paul above the Lord Jesus Christ!!

    1. Hopefully along the edge of the platform, just as he slips off and tumbles to the floor below.

      Don’t want any injuries of course, except to their pride.

  8. So, as a matter of interest to a mere foreigner type lady person what would happen if I turned up expressing an earnest desire for instruction dressed in jeans and a top with spaghetti straps

    1. They would smile and say “bless you Heart” then they would proceed to go about molding you in their image. (If they took a liking to you that is… Otherwise you would stand a good chance of being ostracized and from the Proverbs 31© wimmemz you would get the knowing looks, stares then then they would lean to one another and whisper about you.

      The men would leer (when the Proverbs 31© wimmemz were not looking) and shake their heads ( for the benefit of the Proverbs 31© wimmemz when they were) but already knowing that the pastor and maybe the head deacon are the only ones who are spiritual enough to counsel you.

      It is a subculture completely based on “the appearance” of what they consider to be evil.

    1. See that’s what’s on the Edge, dancing women in immodest red dresses. No wonder people drift, or run, towards it. Hmm or maybe they are running away from the modest long skirts and tendency to inbreed……..

      1. In 1982, I met a lovely girl at the Snack Shop at BJU. She was wearing a red dress with tiny little white polka dots. We had known each other since the first of the fall semester in 1981 since we went to the same church on Sunday evening.

        Years later, she told me that she had debated whether to wear that dress to that date (by the way, she insisted that it “was not a date!”). Her mother had told her that if she wanted to catch a guy, wear a red dress!

        The dress is long gone. She doesn’t wear red dresses any more. But I like red dresses. I particularly liked that one. Still remember it fondly.

        1. I once sat through an harangue, it could not be called a sermon, on why Christians should not wear flashy red clothes. I sat there seething, in a red dress beside my best friend and her father who was wearing a red tie. He walked out and never came back. I guess God left out the 11th commandment, Thou shalt not wear red.

        2. Back when I was dating my now-husband at BJU, we surreptitiously liked the song “Lady in Red” (which of course wouldn’t check).

        3. There is something in all those Old Testament laws saying not to wear red garments.
          But I don’t know anybody, apart from Hasidic Jews, who even tries to follow all those Mosaic rules.

        4. Red is one of the best colors on my wife. As we sit and watch golf on a Sunday afternoon, she is in red plaid fleece pants and one of my old red Henley shirts.
          I don’t recall ever hearing a sermon against red clothes on women, which is surprising considering all the bad excuses for sermons I have sat through.

  9. Ick. Thankfully I’ll be on the West Coast during those dates. Not cool, home state.

    Seriously, though, this explains where all the crazy in my grade school came from–not to mention the fact that the main church in my area that half the kids went to is 2nd generation fundy.

  10. Anybody else catch the double negative? “You will NOT get…NO (fill in the blank)!” Really??? Sounds like something written by my 4 year old. Naw, I take that back. My 4 year old couldn’t come up with that garbage. You’d have to be a fundy.

  11. “NO trashing of our heritage” basically means, “We refuse to acknowledge that anyone in our past was anything less than 100% doctrinally and behaviorally pure. We refuse to follow the Biblical admonition to have discernment and make righteous judgments.”

    More shades of BJU’s trademark “standing without apology.”

    Except sometimes there ARE things for which to apologize.

  12. NO lack of belief that loud, theatrical sermons are not “good preachin”. Because if it’s not flamboyant, it must be not ‘spirit filled’. 😉

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