king james version

“Bible Corrector”

83 Comments

It’s so interesting that the word “corrector” could end up being used as a pejorative.

If a person made their life’s work to edit the dictionary and make it the best and most accurate dictionary possible then nobody would sneer and call them a “dictionary corrector” as if it were a bad thing.

83 thoughts on ““Bible Corrector””

    2. Nope, not first after all. But close.
      I personally knew someone who genuinely believed that St. Paul used the KJV…

        1. Paul did use the KJV, just in the original Greek, or was it Hebrew….. whatever, it was the KJV. Of course it was

      2. How can one say it better than what is attributed to former Texas Gov. “Ma” Ferguson (and I paraphrase): we don’t need no dirty French or Spanish taught in our schools. If King James’ English was good enough for Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, it’s good enough for the state of Texas.
        (Canst THOU doubt this wisdom? Well, OK, maybe she didn’t say it in so many words; but isn’t the most astounding thing that so many people would agree with the sentiment?)

  3. This diagram makes no sense to me. Maybe I’m just not smart enough to understand.

      1. I would hate to ask you to demoralize yourself like this but would you explain it to the ignorant of us?

        1. Let me give it a try………

          It means you are listening to the wrong music and need a haircut. 🙂

    3. There are good diagrams, and there are mediocre diagrams, and there are bad diagrams, and then there’s a complete mess.
      Guess which one this is.

      1. There should be a rebuttal diagram. Perhaps even 2. The second would be a diagram of the cuts of a pig. Diagram type: bad diagram.
        For the brain, one section could be dedicated to exposed kneecaps. For the pig, the rump could symbolize hard preachin’- with “a mighty rushing wind” flowing from it.

      1. No, actually I was just pointing out that today is the 5th. I’m actually 1st to make that astute observation.
        the Admiral

  5. BTW, in addition to not being angry, I like the Related Posts section when you click on a post. LOL.

    1. Me too-that is I DO like the related posts, and I am not angry–at least at this very moment.
      the Admiral

  6. I find it interesting that the masthead for the home site this cartoon admits idolatry. Too bad their focus is on a translation instead of the Author.

  7. For some great revisionist history, read the “Purified Seven Times” article under the “Final Authority” section. It is some of the best historical fact manipulation you’ll see. In fact, this monograph is such an excellent mix of half-truths and opinion, I applaud the author for his amazing piece of historical fiction.

    1. Well then, revisions and further improvements can be said to be purified 8 times or 10 times. Maybe more!

      Not all of Scripture is the Word of God. And not all of the Words of God have become Scripture. Nor is Scripture inerrant. There are plenty of contradictions in it, as people have written about God from their cultural and experiential viewpoints. They wouldn’t have understood modern science. And language itself precludes any such idea as inerrancy.

      Fundamentalism is a mess!

      1. The typical fundy part of the whole seven times more pure is that they rearrange the words to suit them. Using a simile to express the purity of God’s Word shouldn’t be twisted the way they do. If God’s word had to be purified seven times, then that makes Him the Author of mistakes that had to be edited.
        To say God’s Word is as pure as extra pure silver means something entirely different.

        Pack of illogical idiots.

  8. The word for “corrupt” in the KJV is the same word translated “peddling” in the NASB. These bibliolaters are hanging their hats on a modern reading of a centuries-old word usage. The ignorance is astounding.

    kaphleu (greek text will not transcribe herein) ,w kapeleuo {kap-ale-yoo’-o}
    Meaning: 1) to be a retailer, to peddle 2) to make money by selling anything 2a) to get sordid gain by dealing in anything, to do a thing for base gain 2b) to trade in the word of God 2b1) to try to get base gain by teaching divine truth 2c) to corrupt, to adulterate 2c1) peddlers were in the habit of adulterating their commodities for the sake of gain.

    2 Corinthians 2:17 17 For we are not like many, peddling the word of God, but as from sincerity, but as from God, we speak in Christ in the sight of God. (NASB)

    2 Corinthians 2:17 17 For we are not as many, which corrupt the word of God: but as of sincerity, but as of God, in the sight of God speak we in Christ. (KJV 1611-1769)

    I wonder how much money the peddler of the clever little diagram made by taking God’s word out of context?

    B.R.O.

    2. Be silent, oh, ye of little faith! By thine use of the Greek Authority Lobe, thou has shewn thyself unfaithful to the Holy Inspired Infallible Word of God (KJV, 1611.) Thy use of the NASB Lobe, through the temptations of the Scholarship Only Hyopthalamus, hast shewn thee for what thou art!

    3. Wow. I wonder how Fundies would take that. Well, the one who could actually understand it.

    1. The hover text comes up wherever your mouse pointer is when you stop moving it; it’s not really placed.

      From the hover text, I assume that this is more work from the infinite[simal] brain of Gail Riplinger?

  10. Seems about right for the fundies I know. And what’s up with the James White worship that’s as bad as King James worship in my book.

  11. When I first saw the graphic I thought I was something you came up with as a parody.

    But… Somebody put the time in to make this as a serious thing?

    Wow.

    I need more coffee before I can begin to understand the logic in this one.

    3. I like to think of someone rakishly donning a lab coat scribbling this in a notepad while observing and studying liberal Christian scum subjects behind a one-way glass.

  13. The vaticanus vortex almost made me shoot my diet coke out of my nose. Those sneaky Catholics always trying to ruin a good baptist’s day

  14. Its amusing to watch James White go back and forth with these types. I find White to be a arrogant jerk with some sort of warped sense of ministry as being a blessed defender of the faith when he is just a condescending jerk with good debating skills….really not too different than Peter Ruckman in many ways. Sometimes he is mostly right, like in this case, sometimes he’s wrong on other issues. But he’s always a tool. (See his obsession with Ergun Caner). And watching him go back and forth with Riplinger, Ruckman, and Gipp is priceless. There couldn’t be a face to face debate with these people in the room without a pressure relief valve for all of the hot air coming out of these self-appointed popes.

  15. Obviously the drawer has an equal disdain for brain-diagram correctors.

    And doesn’t mind saying the same thing a dozen times in one chart.

        1. Haha! I love the second one.

          Based on the second one, the angry bad husband is missing the critical Scholarship ONLY Hypothalamus. This would make him a likely candidate for the position of “pastor” at his independant, fundamental, KJVO, Baptist kingdom.

          B.R.O.

        2. The “Genuine Husband” dude’s head is big enough to have it’s own gravitational field.

        4. Love it!

          I need to get “A Genuine Husband” tattooed on the side of my head, so everyone can appreciate my phrenological perfection.

  16. I just read on the website that you need her old dictionary so you know what the old words mean. Isn’t that the point of a new translation?

    1. Lawrence, Lawrence, Lawrence…

      There you go confusing us with reason, logic, and facts. I would suggest that your get your heart right and simply believe. I seem to recall a guy saying once, “Good religion is the utopia of believing people.” I think it was Groucho Marx.

      B.R.O.

    2. “I just read on the website that you need her old dictionary so you know what the old words mean. Isn’t that the point of a new translation?”

      No, no, no, no, no….

      If you had a new translation, that was understandable to just anyone, then what would good Bible preachers do? Where would be the need for good, Bible-based, expository teaching? Who’d be in the business of explaining to all the God-fearin’ folks of good faith what they’re supposed to take from each cherry-picked passage?

      No, that would never do.

  17. It is amazing the knee-jerk reaction to “Vaticanus.” As if it were a Catholic codex. (As opposed to simply being one of the oldest manuscripts which simply happens to reside in the Vatican Library. No room in that brain for the Codex Sinaiticus?

  18. Couldn’t they have just drawn one giant brain and labeled it “All The Shit I Don’t Agree With Lobe”?

    1. if they did that then they couldn’t display how much more they love the Bible than you do, heathen 😉

  19. I disagree with this statement, Darrell:
    “If a person made their life’s work to edit the dictionary and make it the best and most accurate dictionary possible then nobody would sneer and call them a ‘dictionary corrector’ as if it were a bad thing.”
    Didn’t I read somewhere on this site that some KJV Onliests stick with the Webster’s dictionary of, I think it was, 1828 so they could understand the archaic language in their Bibles better?

  20. There would be many heart attacks in Fundydom if they would read and understand the preface to the KJV. And if the translators felt that their work should be reviewed and even corrected if need be, Fundies must be so much more educated than the translators to think “correctors” are to be scorned.

  21. I have a strong suspicion the creator of this “chart” isn’t concerned with what exactly a gland is, or why you wouldn’t assign a region of the brain to a function it doesn’t do.

    1. PS, does the “anti italics gland” imply that the italics were also inspired & part of both the originals & the initial KJV translation?

  23. In case you were unsure of the USA as god’s new favored nation, we have this, taken from one of the forum streams:

    Hi,

    God’s Glory Bible is a King James Version Holy Bible that has a soft cover inspired by the American Flag. Along with red and white stripes and a blue field, there is one gold star for Jesus, 12 stars for the disciples and all of them together represent the 13 original colonies. The cover is super soft and is dyed red and blue on a white background – so the colors are dyed in – kind of like a black leather Bible is made from leather dyed black.

    OF COURSE – it is King James Version!!! It also is red-letter, has a deep blue ribbon marker and gilded edges.

    It has a presentation page, family records pages for Mother and Father’s family tree, marriages, births, deaths, the 50 states and, what makes it really super special is that it includes a stories from 4 people doing good works for other Americans. Included is a section for you to set your own goals, write them down for posterity and write in when you complete the goals.

    The FIRST EDITION of 10,000 is coming out right around July 4 and will be shipped then.

    For more information, please visit:
    http://www.GodsGloryBible.com

    2. Sigh.

      “…there is one gold star for Jesus, 12 stars for the disciples and all of them together represent the 13 original colonies.”

      I don’t even know where to begin with this one.

      1. And yet they would scoff at The Basílica i Temple Expiatori de la Sagrada Família with it’s spires dedicated to the Apostles, Mary, Four Evangelists, and Jesus, along with the facades dedicated to the Nativity and the Passion.

        If you have never visited the Sagrada Família, I recommend it. Make sure you climb the spiral staircase and enjoy the view from the bridge.

    3. that is the zenith, the ultimate, the most epic of idols—combining the idol of the KJV for many fundamentalists with the idol of nationalism and American exceptionalism and dominionism.
      I actually could picture the fundamentalists that I have known salivating at the sight of it.

    4. Speechless. I thought this was a joke. I am not American so there is that but laying aside the fact that I am a foreigner….I am speechless. I also feel like throwing up.

  24. I love the NIV lobe. I wonder what a surgeon would charge to put in one of those, and if my insurance would cover it.

  27. 1.) I’m a fan of the Authorised/KJV
    2.) I’m not a fan of the heresy i.e. progressive revelation, or assorted nonsense e.g. hidden codes, etc. that some teach

    Here’s a ridiculous little ditty to tune of “Mr. Moses”

    There’s a Bible corrector I happened to meet.
    He once was a preacher who took to the street.
    He reads Hebrew by night and then Greek in the day,
    Saying this verse looks different in Nestle’s Koine.

    I quickly rebuked him then said to myself,
    “He’s either apostate or put on the shelf.”
    ‘Twas Westcott & Hort that had led him astray,
    And scholarship, study, and Nestle’s Koine.

    That’s enough foolishness for the time being.

  28. This is typical of fundy attempts at “humor.” It’s just unfunny…and well, dumb. Lots of smarmy guys in pleated khakis, Skechers and ties think this is HILARIOUS.

    Moreover, that fact that they are trying to make a joke out of a brain tumor is despicable and in my opinion, un-Christian. Just my $0.02 as an IFB member who is really starting to question what in the world the church I attend really stands for.

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