96 thoughts on “The Obligatory Halloween Post”

    1. This is blasphemous because jesus would NOT go soul winning with long hair and a Beard. And we would we wearing a suit and carrying a King James Bible

    1. Everyone knows that Christ was tall, blue eyed, blond and caucasian. He certainly would bear no resemblance to a modern day Palestinian, let alone an ancient one.

  1. Not blasphemous at all since that figure is not at all representative of Jesus but an androgenous being, that character pictured actually has a history…actually more appropriate that one might think

    1. Actually, there is a long history of Jesus being depicted as androgenous in art. It’s too long to go into here, but it is interesting to google.

        1. I personally have not seen it nor heard anything about it until SFL (and the info here is fuzzy at best)… so I’d have to say no.

  2. And they say unto him, We have here but five Fun Size M&Ms, and two Kit Kats.
    He said, Bring them hither to me.
    And he commanded the multitude to sit down on the grass, and took the five Fun Sized M&Ms, and the two Kit Kats, and looking up to heaven, he blessed, and brake, and gave the candies to his disciples, and the disciples to the multitude.
    And they did all eat, and were filled: and they took up of the fragments that remained twelve baskets full.
    And they that had eaten were about five thousand men, beside women and children

      But what is the divine response to him? “I HAVE KEPT for Myself SEVEN MEN WHO HAVE NOT become obese or diabetic.”

  3. Obviously its blasphemous because he’s wearing priestly robes which would suggest he’s a Catholic priest (or maybe that is his costume). Might as well paint a mitre on his head and make him the pope. Not to mention, November 1 is All Saints Day and November 2 is All Souls Day so clearly this painting suggests that Jesus fully supports these pagan Catholic holidays :^) Oh it feels so good to stand in self-righteous judgment of others…lol

  4. Halloween?? Don’t you mean Fall Fest? or Harvest Fest? Or the super friendly don’t-have-to-worry-about-strangers-in-strange-houses event, Trunk or Treat!

    Seriously though, a campaign should be started for keeping the term Halloween. Churches aren’t reluctant jump on the “keep Christ in Christmas” bandwagon, but they’re pretty much the only ones who don’t keep Halloween in … Halloween.

      1. 31 what?

        I read a while ago that the Hell’s Angels motorcycle club claims a copyright on the number 81 (as a decorative element on clothing and jewelry), because (the Hell’s Angels say) “81” stands for the club’s initials, “H.A.” (“H” and “A” being the eighth and first letters of the alphabet).

  5. Halloween is a children’s holiday and teens therefore should not participate in any way.

    Parents, however, may have “tacky parties” where they dress in mismatched clothes and say rude things to each other all evening.

  6. Poor Fundies. Can’t celebrate Halloween due to the fact it’s the Devil’s holiday. Also can’t celebrate the fact it’s Reformation Day, because they were always separate from the Catholics; therefore, Luther and his 95 theses didn’t have any impact on them.
    Actually, the first doesn’t really matter to me; I don’t celebrate Halloween much. The 2nd, though, drives me NUTS. Can’t STAND the rewriting of history!

        1. Well, yes. It’s embarrassing, really, but James beat him out as Master Chef. Hey, he was sinless, but he never could master a brisket.

        2. Grilling a brisket is basically how you establish yourself as the most badassed person in Texas.

  7. He’s not collecting candy. You see, he multiplied the Snickers and the Smartees candies so much he’s got lots of leftovers! 12 baskets full, if I remember correct!

    So he’s handing out more goodies!

  8. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone open to me, I will come in and sup with them all kinds of awesome sugary treats, but especially starburst gummies and nerds.

  9. Happy Reformation Day!

    All portrayals of Christ are the creation of pure imagination. I do not find them blasphemous, but with or without the bucket, I dislike them.

    1. Pure imagination?? You may want to look into the Shroud of Turin. I recommend Shroud.com, an amazingly objective source, run by the photographer from the original STURP team. Carefully consider all the evidence, including recent findings that the infamous carbon dating was seriously skewed because the sample swatches were from the scorched parts of the Shroud (from a fire in, I believe, 1531 or thereabouts). The anatomical and physiological evidence alone is overwhelming. No medieval or Renaissance artist could have replicated it. Even contemporary figurative artists cannot replicate it.

        1. Um, I don’t think the two phenomena are on the same level. 😉 (And yes, I do believe that some weeping statues and icons are legit. And some are fradudulent. And some are simply caused by natural phenomena.) But the Shroud (which testifies to the reality of the Crucifixion and Resurrection) has been studied to infinity and beyond by physicists, chemists, botanists, and a host of others. It has also been venerated for hundreds of years across both Eastern and Western Christendom. And it almost certainly influenced the transition from early artistic depictions of a beardless Christ to later depictions of a bearded One.

          Do check out shroud.com. You have nothing to lose but your misconceptions.

          (And BTW, the Shroud is not a Catholic Thing. Many of the scientists engaged in studying it are evangelicals. Just sayin’)

  10. I think I posted this before, but it’s worth a repost.

    Before the destruction of large numbers of black African lives became a source of enrichment for European business interests, bigotry against blacks was not a thing in Christendom. There were plenty of other horrible things entrenched in the culture, but that wasn’t one of them. Black people were monks, farmers, musicians, ambassadors, pages, knights, courtiers, etc., etc., and nobody blinked at this.

    They were also Jesus and Mary.

    In the Middle Ages, the paintings of Jesus and/or Mary that were commonly accepted to be the oldest–including some said to have been painted by Jesus Himself–depict dark-skinned Palestinians. Not olive, not sunburnt–brown. Primary sources attest that this was believed to be the case by the people who viewed the paintings. Mary was a brown person, therefore so was Jesus. Only later were some of them painted over to “repair” “flaws” in the paintings.

    A roundup of primary sources is linked here:


      1. Not just fundamentalists. There’s a roundup of the knots well-respected mainstream scholars tied themselves in to explain away the brownness of Mary and or Jesus at the page I linked. Because (pearlclutch) brown oh noes.

    1. You know, I always put my grandparents, both sets, into the book of names we remember on the 1st. My paternal grandparents were faithful Mennonites who, if a bit still, loved the Lord and really strove to live his by precepts. The sort of people I could really look up to. My maternal grandparents were the sort of people who, when the term ‘pillars of the church’ is used, I always think of them. They were active and essential members of their church (Conservative Baptist), served on the boards of Deacons and Deaconesses. Grandpa was the sort of guy who stood around the heater in the basement with the other members of the building committee, and discussed the ways they might keep it going for another year. Grandma helped run the nursery and the ladies groups. Grandpa couldn’t carry a tune AT ALL, but sang with vigor anyway. And Grandma wasn’t much of a cook, but helped put on dinners and potlucks anyway. I really hope that I can be half the servants that they were.

      Miss them all.

  11. This time of year always reminds me of how the churches have first “demonized” Halloween; then stole the event as an opportunity to attract kids with their “Trunk or Treat’ events. When I was young, every home in town was prepared for the invasion of groups of kids. They first invited us inside where they would guess who was behind the mask until all were correctly identified.. No matter what the economic status of the homes we visited, each treated us with homemade candy, fresh fruit from their trees, or popcorn balls.

    1. Christianity ignores its own bad behavior, preferring to demonize others and pretend that it has no faults.

      I always had fun on halloween. It wasn’t until I was older that I started to hear accusations that it was associated with demon worship — as if all those who celebrated with candy were practicing the dark arts! Everyone who celebrated were guilty by association, even if they had no knowledge of ancient history, rites, or calorie counts.

      Every fundamentalist victory is accomplished by the creation of guilt over trivial items. Their victories are the triumph of legalism, ignoring heart attitudes, and imputing malice to innocent fun.

      Tonight our Episcopal Church had a small outdoor fire and wienie roast. Parents and kids came, enjoyed cooking their hot dogs and playing on the lawn. It was lovely. Ghosts, goblins, zombies, axe-murderers were all welcome, along with fairies and witches and their parents. No judgment, just fun.

      1. Creating guilt over trivial issues — so true. This distracts from dealing with SERIOUS sin when it happens in the church or from focusing on loving on another (or living out the other fruit of the Spirit).

      2. Christianity ignores its own bad behavior, preferring to demonize others and pretend that it has no faults. Let’s not conflate fundamentalism with Christianity. This very website is a pretty good indication that such a brush is needlessly broad.

        1. You are right. I used the wrong term. And while I do try to choose my terms carefully, the problem is that the vast majority of my Christian experience has been Fundamentalism. Even though I am now in a much better position, church-wise, I find I still have a lot of work and sorting to do.

  12. Yes. Jesus REALLY was out trick or treating. I saw him with my own eyes. I was walking home from the library and after spying one of the minions from Despicable Me across the street I look back in front of me and there was Jesus. White tunic, long stringy brown hair, and brown beard. White guy. I saw Jesus. Really. Then I thought of SFL and had to let everyone know.

  13. I suppose in theory Jesus can eat all the candy he wants. He, being the divine being he is, probably never have to worry about diabeetus or cavities or high fructose corn syrup headaches. Probably never had to floss, ever. So if Jesus ever stopped at my house I would cheerfully hand over more then ten percent of my candy to Him. Wonderful guy, that Jesus.

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