A promo video for Hyles-Anderson that makes no mention of either Jack Hyles or fundamentalism.

In fact, they don’t reference Baptists, separation, the King James Bible or pretty much anything else that they usually harp on.

Looks like somebody is making an effort at serious rebranding. Although not serious enough to realize that showing college students playing board games as “entertainment” is probably not going to play well in general.

138 thoughts on “Rebranding”

    1. I would hope as well, but I have a feeling its not to take it into a more biblical direction.
      It seems like many Christian ministries and churches which try to rebrand themselves–its same old thing with a different wrapping.

      When there is no acknowledgement of the problems of the past and clear places where they are changing, all it is rebranding.

        1. Semp,

          How about “Cow Ledge” even though that doesn’t make a lot of sense. By the way, did you gravitate from HA”C” too?

        2. Actually it does make a lot of sense when you think about what a cow-ledge leaves behind

        3. Ben Padraic, I didn’t graduate from there. I left after a year. One of the smartest decisions I ever made.

          I wasn’t one of the “beautiful people”. Still not, but I’m glad to be out.

        4. That is why they say it prepares students for church/ministry related jobs – they can’t get a job with the piece of paper with their name on it any where else!

        5. Did you hear about the cow that jumped off a tall building?
          It was ledge end dairy.

    2. Taking the church and school in a more Biblical direction would require repentance and a renunciation of former beliefs and practices. No such thing has happened. It is simply rebranding. And for all their promises, if you attend HAC, you end up with a substandard education and an unaccredited diploma. No matter how they try to repackage worthless trash, it’s still worthless trash. Expensive, time consuming worthless trash.

      1. “Taking the church and school in a more Biblical direction would require repentance and a renunciation of former beliefs and practices. No such thing has happened.”


      2. Oh no, they don’t think they have anything to repent of…nothing at all.


        Poor, sick Schaap…we will write the court 140 letters of support!

        That whore who the feds are calling a victim

        Those horrible parents who just wouldn’t let it go for the good of the ministry. How many people will not be saved because of them!

        Chicago Magazine is obviously run by Satan!

        If those hussies would not have dressed so provocatively our mennogawd would not have fallen into temptation. We will really have to make our dress standards strict. What other way to stop it?


        1. Actually with enough shellac you could fashion a shiny and appropriate sinker to attach to their degree. It’s the only way it would hold weight.

  1. Well, what about that. A current ifb (although I actually enjoy the website and the church I attend is nothing like the brand of ifb portrayed on this site) got the first post on Memorial Day! Although I don’t know the exact moment of my regeneration I can mark down to the exact second my first “first” post! Got it nailed down!

  2. It looks like they’re just downplaying their public level of crazy in hopes of getting more unsuspecting students to brainwash. As some have already said, it’s the same thing in a new wrapper. Abuse is still abuse, no matter what extra flavor one adds to it.

  3. I like how the head of the Bible Department is talking about “preparing young men for the ministry” just as the camera pans and shows a bunch of young women taking notes.

    1. Here I was thinking that maybe they had built a swimming pool for the use (men and women at separate times, of course) of the students. Instead they just bought one or more pool table. Not only is that cheap, but have they forgetten the association these billiard tables have with those wicked pool halls? On top of this, they are literally boasting of having brought computers into that institution and seem intent on teaching students to use them for graphic arts or some such thing. And as if these things weren’t enough, they spend time focusing on frivolities like sports and free time instead of work– an idle mind is the devil’s workshop, I tell you!

      Mark my words, Hyles-Anderson is going liberal. Next thing you know, they’ll be improving academics and seeking accreditation. If that happens, how will the local Christian Schools be able to trap, I mean retain, good workers. Jack Hyles must be rolling over in his grave at the path along the slippery slope his successors have chosen to tread.

      1. BendamentallyProud, a swimming pool would be too big of an insurance liability, with the wiminfolk risking a drowning every time they enter the water fully clothed, flowing skirt and all. However, I think a pool hall might do a bit of good.

        Computers, though–yeah, nothing good will come from this. Might as well invite ol’ Forked-tail hisself in the front door.

        1. It starts with “T,” and that rhymes with “P,” and it stands for pool!

  4. I was so excited about the s’mores, foosball, and pool opportunities at HAC that I immediately started filling out the online application. I have hit a snag or two and I’m wondering if anyone can help me.

    Section 1, Personal Information, asks, What practical Christian experience do you have?

    Well, I’ve been a pastor, reader, subdeacon, SS teacher, custodian, choir/music ministry member, bus worker, chanter, even wiped baby asses in nursery. Only the nursery and custodian ministries seem to qualify as “practical.” Should I just put down these, or include all of them?

    There follows a series of questions asking whether I have ever used illegal drugs, consumed alcohol, attended a movie. Will answering Hell yeah! adversely affect my application?

    One more. They ask, Is there anything in your past about which we should know?

    The preceding questions seem sufficiently invasive–what kind of stuff are they asking for here? What brand of toilet paper I prefer? The fact that I once ate a fly to impress a girl? That my left nut hangs a little lower than the right? Or is this TMI?

    Any help would be appreciated. I want to start experiencing the joys of HAC this fall.

    1. Do they actually ask if you ever, in your whole life, attended a movie?

      And what if you did, but are planning to pay full tuition and fees, all cash in unmarked small bills, plus a generous contribution to the endowment fund>

      Anything other than a live broadcast on TV is a pre-recorded “movie” of sorts.

      1. I worked in the admissions office at my fundy u one summer. One of my jobs was calling references listed on student applications and going through a checklist about the prospective students. Among the questions was, “Does this person attend movies?” The four of us working in the office were all students, and we joked about the irony of asking this question when all of us typically came in on Mondays talking about the movies we had been to on the weekend!

        1. Heathen Jezebels! You Admissions Reviewers were the final line of defense against the onslaught of worldliness that, every semester, tries to storm the gates of God’s stronghold. And you took your job so lightly . . . I don’t know what to say. Shame on you.

        2. Their insistence on extra-Biblical rules ends up making many of their students liars and hypocrites. I hate that people feel forced to pretend in order to be accepted.

      2. Yeah, Jay, that is the question. “Have you ever attended a movie? Yes No If yes, when did you last attend (month/year)?”

        I’m not sure if answering Yes is a deal-breaker or not. Maybe they are just gathering intel, seeing which prospective students may require more surveillance than usual.

        I wonder if it would make a difference if I told them that I have indeed attended movies, but I didn’t really enjoy it. I prefer to watch at home with my family or a few select friends, have a beer or three, go to the potty whenever I feel like it and not risk missing something important. But that’s just me.

      1. Many years ago while attending a Hyles worshiping church led by a mog who grew up in FBCH, a much younger, slimmer, and more clean-shaven version of me worked at a local hardware store. One of my co-workers one day asked my why Christians don’t go to movies. After years of Fundy High and a couple of years at Fundy U, that was a question I didn’t have to think about to answer. I repeated the party line about how if someone saw me coming out of a theater, it would harm my Christian testimony because no one could know which movie I had been to. I also stated the bit about how going to movies supports Hollywood and the sinful lifestyle it promotes.
        The comment that followed still, after all these years, makes a lot more sense than my mindless recitation had. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. I know you, so I know what movie you didn’t see.” That was one of the things that happened to begin my slow trip out of Fundystan. That can be applied to most of the “appearance of evil” foolishness preached about “testimony”. If that is all it takes to make people question your beliefs, you’ve failed to live them out long before.

        1. “If that is all it takes to make people question your beliefs, you’ve failed to live them out long before.”

          Exactly! I always point out how often Jesus was criticized for hanging out with the prostitutes, tax collectors and heathen folk.

          Didn’t seem to damage his witness other than in the eyes of those fundy forebearers the Pharisees.

        2. “I always point out how often Jesus was criticized for hanging out with the prostitutes, tax collectors and heathen folk.

          Didn’t seem to damage his witness other than in the eyes of those fundy forebearers the Pharisees.”

          Wow! Another gemstone! Fantastic!

        3. “I know you, so I know what movie you didn’t see.”

          Bravo! Your coworker had a brilliant answer. Fantastic! Thank you for sharing it!

          That reminds me of an incident in my youth. A coworker had been fired, and she and I met for coffee one day. She began to tell me about the other people I worked with. The supervisor and another coworker were having an affair. One person sold marijuana on the side. Another person was doing this and that. I was surprised, and she laughed. She said, “You didn’t know because they knew you wouldn’t be interested in those things. So they didn’t involve you.” I was all about doing my job and being a Christian. I wasn’t looking for sin in others, and as a result others protected me from it.

          In another incident, I was sent to the lounge to collect a till (I worked at a hotel!). A waitress saw me coming in and confronted me. “What are *you* doing here?” she demanded. I told her, and she softened up, “Okay, but you’d better not ask for a drink because I’m not going to let you have one!”

          Now I know that drinking is not a sin. I didn’t know that then. But again I found that people at the job respected me enough to try to help take care of me and preserve my witness.

          When I think about it, I had always taken these people as my friends, not as objects to be “witnessed to” (though I did tell them about Jesus!) or souls to be “won.” They were my coworkers, my friends, and I don’t remember judging them.

          Wow. Uncle Wilver, you put a lot of things in context. Thank you.

        4. I found a similar thing in my public high school. Kids would apologize for swearing around me, even if I never asked them not to. They just knew I didn’t, and they didn’t want to swear around me.

    2. I used to work in the HAC admissions office. The movie question has almost no effect on ones acceptance. I have no idea why they still ask it. It was really awkward to have to go thru that list of questions with people. On the anything else we should know” section I heard a lot of suicide and rape stories.

        1. Oh, PLEASE do. If you’re actually filling one out, PM me for my e-mail address. 😛 lol

  5. At the 1:04 mark, what on earth is “spirit filled instruction”? I guess using a phrase like that is better than implying it’s good, accurate, or useful instruction.

    Their webdev guy describes their program as teaching kids how to design static websites, and makes no mention at all of relational databases, or any other technology other than how to create an angelfire static website. I like the insinuation that you can then use those skills to have a career making a website for your church. There’s gotta be 50 or less IFB institutions that have an IT staff. At most churches the job market their stating to prepare you for, is a volunteer or maybe 2-10 hours a month of 1099 work. I hope they’re teaching more than described in that short video.

    1. At a guess, “spirit-filled instruction” is a guarantee that all instructors are able to recite the correct shibboleths and present the correct appearance. What that has to do with trig, I have no idea.

      1. BJg, it’s not that HA”C” won’t prepare a student to obtain or keep gainful employment, it’s that for a male graduate who doesn’t achieve Mog status, that employment will likely be unskilled or low skilled, low paid, and possibly physically gruelling and unpleasant. For a female student, that employment may well involve shamefully underpaid work at a Fundamentalist church either as an office worker or as a school teacher.

  6. Another HAC application comment. In Section 3: Personal Testimony I find this prompt.

    Please write a short but detailed explanation about (1) your salvation experience, (2) your reasons for attending Hyles-Anderson College, (3) your call to service, and (4) your plans after you graduate. This must be at least a full paragraph in length but may consist of more if you choose.

    This is my attempt at answering (1).

    When I was about eight years old, I was feeling kind of guilty for being a very disobedient boy. I had been living a life of sin and wickedness, like the prodigal in the far country. I talked back, engaged in raucous horseplay, threw rocks at passing cars, broke windows in abandoned shacks, and even fell so deep in sin that I pilfered a cigarette from my uncle. These shenanigans had proved to me that I was a hell-bound sinner in need of the Precious Blood of Jesus. I prayed The Prayer and was gloriously SAVED!

    I thought things were good between Jesus and me. But then, at about age 17, I found out about Calvinism. I realized that The Prayer wasn’t as effective in getting salvation from God than simply being one of the Chosen, the Few, the Lucky Remnant known by God from the foundations of the world. This experience of finding out about Divine Election gave me the assurance that I had salvation—and the Unchosen Reprobates could just SUCK IT!

    But then I became a preacher and found out how little I really knew about the ways of God. I became Orthodox because I didn’t know what else to do. They didn’t seem to make a big deal out of “being saved.” They talked more about salvation as a process, a becoming, and that appealed to me. So I gave up even thinking about whether I was saved or not and tried harder to just be a good person.

    Twelve years of this and I’m happy to say I don’t really know anything about anything. Can I get an Ahhhh-men?

    1. Nico,

      My excuse is that I was Catholic, but how did you grow up not hearing about Divine Election? Maybe in both of our cases somebody wasn’t doing their job of reaching the young’ns.

      How about this idea– a group of churches that believe that doctrine could finance a morning television program aimed at children. “Johnny,” the purple “Calvinosaur” could sing the following cheerful little ditty:
      God loves me: God hates you!
      There is nothing you can do!
      So you’d best prepare for a hot eternity
      Don’t you wish that you were me?

      But what do I know– I’m a reprobate in two belief systems.

      1. Ben, I’m sure that at some point the two IFB churches I grew up in mentioned Election, but from a more Arminian perspective. The whole thing was pretty much a non-issue, probably because there were more pressing issues to preach about such as dress hem lengths, earrings on men, demonic rock and roll music, etc.

        I’m surprised that as a Catholic you never studied Augustinianism. That IS odd! But you have redeemed yourself from your former ignorance with such a wonderfully penned Calvinist children’s hymn! Fabulous!!

        I’m pretty much an all-around reprobate as well. Not that this is news.

  7. I was shocked, shocked! To see a television in the rec room “for sporting events”. What about commercials and scantily clad cheerleaders? Maybe they are lightening up just a tad. As far as the application, does it still ban those who are ” members of a secret society”? They meant Masons whom John Rice had a personal grudge against because his dad was a Mason and that prejudice passed on to brother Jack.

    1. There is a staff member (or trusted dorm staff i.e. JZ, current students) in the room anytime the tv is on; they turn it off during commercial breaks, half-time, and when something “inappropriate” come on.

  8. Well that was enlightening! NOT – I still feel that we do our children a disservice by sending them to schools such as HAC for anything other than Theology…. and even then I still have issues with it being that its only a step above Bro So and So’s basement kawledge.

    1. I think it is bad to send them to these kawledges for theology.

      “…but grapes don’t grow on trees…”

      (anyone recall this quote?)

      1. I’ve seen grapes growing on trees.
        Technically, they were growing on grape vines, but the vines were in trees, and the bunches of grapes hung down from the tree branches.

        1. Don’t encourage them, Big Gary!

          The reference comes from a story told in the book The Texas Baptist Crucible by James Spurgeon.

          per a review of the book:

          “By way of example, Spurgeon, in one tale, tells of a class on the Pentateuch both he and his dad were taking, taught by a fellow named Travis (for the most part, real names are used in the volume). This ‘scholarly professor’ offered his take on the forbidden fruit in Eden, telling the class it was “a grape” Eve ate, a conclusion he had reached because grapes often speak in Scripture of God’s wrath. His dad took his life in his hands (because you don’t question authority in that ‘college’) and interrupted the professor to point out, “Grapes don’t grow on trees!” Admittedly, such foolishness wouldn’t be teaching even on a Sunday school level; it would be sub-Sunday school!”

  9. Wow. So quite a revamp over what they used to have. No matter how long I watched it, there just happened to be something off about it though. It seems they are losing enrollment so much so that portraying the place (note- did not say college) more like other real colleges might.

    Things I still saw though:
    The phrase “servant-leader”.
    Making sure it’s clear that only men are in their ministry program.
    Education majors of Elementary, secondary, and *Chrisitian* school admin.
    Ew, they use macs.
    Guys playing ping pong (people still do that?) in a buttonup shirt.
    Man “hangin’ out” in the (concrete floor) rec room in a full suit.
    Dating couples… standing a foot apart from each other.
    At the end (6:24) did not hear “most effective”, heard “most defective.”

    1. I happen to like Macs. I have to use PCs at work. But one of the PC guys admitted that if we had been using Macs, most of their maintenance work wouldn’t be needed. PCs gave them job security.

      1. My last job issued me a MacBook Air. My productivity skyrocketed. It is the little things, like not having to wait for everything, not getting notified about everything, the virtual multiple desktops, and the extremely cool and functional glide pad. I still have a PC to fuel my insane infatuation with C# and hacking Windows, but I got myself a MacBook pro for homework and research, because it is just significantly faster and more reliable.

  10. Their IT department also includes classes on deleting internet cookies and clearing photos on smart phones…crucial ministry helps of a HAC leader in today’s modern world.

    1. Yes, their IT students must develop the ability to scrub any ministry criminals off their websites, sermon audio, youtube videos, etc. – post haste.

  11. Wow! They had the Token Black Guy (was he preaching or teaching? Probably preaching. Would they actually have a black person as a teacher on staff?) Otherwise almost always white students and white faculty.

    But another wow! Did they actually let that black male student sing with two white girls? How many permission slips did *that* arrangement have to go through? Despite the talk about a mix of ethnicities in the area, I don’t think HAC is really as diverse as they hoped to make it seem. I wonder if there were any non-white students or faculty that did not appear in the clip!

    Always the collar shirts (mostly white) and neckties. And suit coats. The dreadful suit coats. That separates them from regular folks and promotes an artificial feeling of respectability. Women teachers seemed to teach only girls.

    And nothing about math or science. Phooey.

    Beautiful campus, no doubt. A clean outside for a cup, as Jesus would say!

    1. “And nothing about math or science. Phooey.”

      Math or science? The only math and science you need to know is:

      The Trinity is three.

      The Universe is 6000 yrs. old.

      The Earth is the center of the Universe. (Wait–Copernicus may have debunked this one a few years ago. I’m not sure even fundies believe this one any more.)

      The Millennium is 1000 yrs.

      The Great Tribulation is 7 yrs.

      Male humans are missing a rib.

      666 is Big Bad Number.

      Me + Jesus = A Majority.

      That pretty much does it.

  12. Hmmm. Now I know why everyone looks so much the same over there.

    They have all become Cybermen. The upgrades are not yet complete, but they have all taken on the uniformity and conformity of Cybermen.

    Where’s the Doctor?

  13. I had a pastor from a “Hyles” church tell me the other day they were told not to bring up Jack’s name
    Very often in preaching or when speaking with perspective church members. Not sure who the “they” is.

  14. Haven’t watched the video. Is there anything in there about their prison-outreach program that the former pastor was extremely committed to getting started?

  15. (Soothing background music) “Here at HAC, we have over 1,000 students. So that’s around 500 women. Because there are so many women, you can feel safe in knowing that the chance of the head pastor and president of the college EVEN BEING INTERESTED in your daughter is statistically VERY LOW. We have proven that if the head pastor/president has your underage daughter transported across state lines to have sex with her, we will put him on sick leave within a few weeks. Then after a lengthy investigation into the matter, we will insinuate that it might be her fault. When we figure out there isn’t any way to keep our president around, and he’s probably getting 10 years in the federal pen, we will regretfully let him go. HYLES ANDERSON COLLEGE – the chance of the president of the college ending up in bed with your daughter is statistically very low…” Cue music.

  16. Most of the female students are of the willowy, slender type. Do they select students on the basis of their BMI?

    Or is the food barely edible?

    The preacher at 6:45 looks as if he really, really has to go potty right now.

    1. Yes, the food is terrible, but the reason that everyone looks so good in the video is this:

      They called a list of names in chapel one day for a special meeting. All of the attractive white kids and all the minority kids were put into faux classes to be videoed.

  17. After Glow productions has more. I could do this for days. Promo Spot #2.

    (Soothing background music) Smiling man in an ill-fitting suit from 1994. “Here at HAC, we place an extremely high priority on the modesty of our female students. As a parent, you can feel safe in the knowledge that if the statistically improbable happens, and our President/Pastor takes a liking to your daughter, the following will be true. When any of our female students is out in pubic, err..public, she will always be in a skirt or dress, with the hemline 2 inches below her knee. If the President’s assistant is driving her to a conference in another state to meet up with our President, her skirt will be the appropriate length, and absolutely no cleavage will be visible to anyone but our President. The mood music our President puts on won’t have any beat of any kind. During the act of copulation her ears will only be exposed to Bach, or possibly Vivaldi, if our President is feeling a little crazy that day. (More soothing background music) You can also take solace in the knowledge that the Bible makes it very clear that there should never be any butt stuff. The butt is an EXIT ONLY zone here at HAC, and during any sweet, tender love-making between our President and your daughter, this rule will always be adhered to. Once the um….the copulation is finished, your daughter will once again be modestly dressed, and you can be proud in the knowledge that anyone that looks at her will know that she’s a HAC student. Again, this can’t be stressed enough, the statistical chances are very low, because historically, by the time a young woman is of college age, she’s getting a little long in the tooth to even be an option for our President to give a second look.

    HYLES ANDERSON COLLEGE – Where the music is always appropriate under ANY circumstance, and absolutely, positively, no butt stuff.” (Soothing Background Music)

    1. That IS how I view those type of churches and colleges now: so focused on ridiculous, extra-Biblical, outdated man-made personal preferences and ignoring actual evil!!! Straining at gnats while swallowing camels.

  18. I went to HAC 81-86. I thought Ray Young was the president. Can anyone tell me when Stuart Mason took over and where he came from? He almost looks a little familiar, maybe he attended HAC about the same time. I just wondered if someone could give me some info on the change in president and who this Stuart guy is.

  19. The 5-10 second clip of the “preacher” was enough to set off my radar. Why must you yell at me? Why the cadence? Read the book “Talk like TED”, and learn how to connect with an audience. Oh, wait… That would mean limiting yourself to 18 minutes. Never mind.

    1. Just a follow-up… Does anyone know where this “preaching style” of harangue and hubris came from? I can’t imagine Jesus delivering His sermon on the mount in this tone. Okay, maybe that’s an unwise comparison, because He spoke with the Authority of the Divine, and didn’t need the sideshow barker patter. But for mortal preachers of the Gospel, shouldn’t it be a simple sharing of the truth? Like one beggar showing other beggars where to find bread? Perhaps some vulnerability and some compassion? That would get my ear.
      Cookie-cutter caterwauling only gets my ire.

      1. ” shouldn’t it be a simple sharing of the truth? ”

        Yes. But most preachers are taught to ask the question, “what are you trying to motivate people to do with this sermon?” With that being said, for the fundamentalist, the purpose of the sermon is to produce a response so the person feels their sinfulness and is compelled to come forward to say the sinners’ prayer.
        For those few in the congregation who are really saved, its to either motivate fear of the world in them or the urgency to go soul winning. None of those things are actually the Gospel. So the sideshow barker really is necessary because they don’t trust the material Christ has given them, they don’t trust the Spirit to accomplish the work in his own time, and they don’t trust the validity of their own ministry if they haven’t had the numbers of souls saved required.

        1. Troublewit, you said that well and I agree with you: “some vulnerability and some compassion . . . would get my ear. Cookie-cutter caterwauling only gets my ire.” When my husband-to-be was looking at ministries to candidate for as we approached graduation at BJU, I told him that I didn’t want to go to a church where the pastor screamed at his people. I never dreamed of not being IFB, but I knew that there were IFB churches that I didn’t want to be part of.

          And, Leanne, you summed that up so powerfully and poignantly – they don’t trust the message (because they change it), the Spirit, or the validity of their ministry.

      2. Some screaming preachers like to quote Isaiah – Lift up your voice as a trumpet, and show My people their sin. (quote may not be exact).

        They use this as justification for various techniques.

        I don’t mind a preacher getting emphatic; I don’t like manipulative screaming at people, but occasional loudness doesn’t bother me; especially if he feels strongly about what he is preaching.

  20. Wait a minute… a long tracking shot in a room full of iMacs? Don’t they know those Devil Boxes are designed in California and used only by godless liberals? 😛

  21. I can’t believe 140 comments in and nobody has mentioned that the head of the dept that ostensibly teaches the ladies is named Ogle. How perfect and not at all creepy is that?
    Also, I know it is common, but the Christian flag below the American flag? Around these state holidays, I get the feeling as long as the mark of the beast includes some stars and bars, a lot of christians will be lining up for their first tattoo.

  22. Watch with the subtitles. Around 4:45 you will read “piles in sand college”. If you don’t think that’s humorous then your funny bone is broken, hay-men? “Amen or oh, me” as they say.

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