279 thoughts on “Self-Published Books Redux”

  1. Oh, I love his “Ides of March” article.

    I thought Fundies were terrified/disapproving of Pagan religious ritual and practice?. This guys’ only justification for his theme that month appears to be pre-christian roman religious mythology….

  2. Help I’ve Fallen appears to have been illustrated by (or the artwork plagiarized from) Jack Chick.

    1. It does look like Chick art.
      Whether or not he has permission to use it is an interesting question.

    1. Maybe we should send them all there, like how all the prime movers go to Gault’s Gulch in Atlas Shrugged.

      1. My wife is from the Mogadore area. She said she’s never noticed any extraordinary Mog’s there. No Mog to adore, anyway.

        1. My precious . . . it burns us.

          I’ve been there (Mogadore, not the Church In a Barn) a time or two, probably 25 yrs. ago. Wasn’t much there, typical small town. I had no idea that I was within hollering distance of the world-famous “Hillbilly Preacher.” What a blessing for me to find this out after all these years!

  3. I joke with my wife that “Sarah called Abraham lord”; to this day I still get the death look ๐Ÿ™‚ No, but seriously, he’s got authority issues making his wife call him pastor. I call my pastor by his title because I respect him, but this guy is all truth and no grace. I kinda like the look of the church building.

    1. Mebbe “Lord” was good enough for Sarah, but Mary Todd called him “Mr. Lincoln”. ๐Ÿ˜›

    1. The photo at the top of the page was taken long, long ago and the hair is obviously a cheap toupee.

      The more recent photos on their website show this guy with a wavy 30’s type pompadour that went out of style many years ago.

      And I wonder why he is so proud of his chair? I guess he thinks it’s a throne.

  4. ๐Ÿ˜› Ugh, ugh, ugh.

    On a side note, I let my wife decide what to call me. Life is easier that way.

  5. “If a church member knows his pastor is fooling around on his wife or stealing money from the church then he needs to get under a different church leader.” “You don’t need to worry about correcting the preacher because he works for God.” “Nowhere in the Bible does a church member have permission to correct God’s man.”

    All on one page!

    Do not report your pastor’s criminal behavior to anyone. Be quiet and go away. You don’t have permission to correct the MOG, even if he is as guilty as the Devil.

    Here we have the miniature dictatorial mindset, the mind of a preacher who sees himself as Master and Conqueror. He is of the same mindset as a radical Islamic Mullah issuing his fatwas. He is the bully, the egoist, the charlatan and fraud, telling people not to pull back the curtain because the deity in the fire will burn you up.

    And people like him try to define Christianity. In large measure they are succeeding. Defining the Pastor as “God’s man,” making his pronouncements ex-cathedra and excusing him from being under any authority is perhaps one of fundamentalism’s most obnoxious heresies.

    1. โ€œIf a church member knows his pastor is fooling around on his wife or stealing money from the church then he needs to get under a different church leader.โ€

      Under a church leader?
      Freudian slip, perhaps?

      1. No, you need to confront such a man in the Galatians 6:1 manner. If that doesn’t work, then bring him before the whole church. If that doesn’t work, then cast him out and treat him like an unbeliever. (knock on his door every Saturday morning and Thursday night, leave gospel tracts in his mail box, and invite him to church).

        Then go back to the NT manner of doing church. No clergy, participatory meetings, plurality of elders, and the Lod’s supper as a full meal.

  6. He looks a bit like a young Gordon Banks, the former Stoke and England goalkeeper. Just sayin’ . . .

  7. Dear SFL Reader:

    This one is close enough that I could visit periodically. This is actually tempting. I’m trying to balance my gag reflex at everything I’d hear/see with the sheer joy of lampooning this guy and making him concerned that I was going to stick around for a time.

    Christian Socialist

    1. I take it, dear Christian Socialist, that you have thus volunteer yourself for the endeavor!

      We all shall look expectantly for your man-in-the-pew account of your visits there.



      …still waiting!

        1. I would relish going to HIS church just so I can call him, “Gerald.”

          “Good moring, Gerald! Marginal sermon this morning, Gerald. Perhaps you should have prepared a little more by actually reading your Bible, Gerald.”

          “What’s that, Gerald? I’m not to bring an accusation to an elder, Gerald? That means the pastor? I’m not accusing you of anything, Gerald. I’m just saying your so-called sermon was marginal, Gerald, that’s all. What’s that, Gerald? I’m trying to build my own kingdom in the video room?”

      1. Dear FundamentalismWasHellForMe:

        You understand perfectly the temptation. The problem is … well … look at the ‘Gerald’s Church’ photo! I’d be fit to be tied before we got to the altar call.

        I very much enjoy the annual report from Darrell’s contact re: the ‘Sword of the Lord’ conference, but I lack the dedication to endure all the stupidity that would entail.

        Christian Socialist

  8. Wait a minute…his doctorate is from Berean Baptist College?

    I’m gonna take a wild stab in the dark & assume it’s honorary.

  9. I just saw something… If it has been pointed out up thread then for give me.
    The name of the town:
    M-O-g adore ???


    you can’t even make this stuff up…

  10. that’s all kind of crazy. My IFB pastor from years ago also bragged about his illiterate ways even though he was a BJU grad. He used to always say, “The biggest word I know is Mayonaise.” His wife always called him pastor too.

      1. Because it’s impossible for his students to achieve his level of ignorance without considerable assistance.

    1. Dear escapee:

      That’s what she called him to his face; or perhaps, that’s what he SAID that she called him. Behind his back, she may have referenced him using the nomenclature of various bodily parts.

      Christian Socialist

      1. Have you ever wondered how many preacher’s wives have voted Democratic because the voting booth was the one place where the husband’s prying eyes could not see?

  11. Lord Collingsworth writes:

    “Revival is not a matter of religious ritual, but rather yielding ourselves to the will of God in obedience. You could start a revival in your own heart and in your own family. Start it with being faithful to the house of God. You’ll not find one better than Heritage Baptist Church.”

    Just one point: “Start it with being faithful to the house of God.”

    Well, Mr. Collingsworth, you err. God does not dwell in houses made with hands, whether they look like a barn or not. The people of God are His dwelling. This notion of “church” buildings lends itself to the elevation of men and their accomplishments. No where in the New Testament are physical building referred to as “the house of God.”

    Then, “You’ll not find one better than Heritage Baptist Church.” So, is your barn that much better than all other “houses of God” that we should frequent? Do you have Anderson windows? 2X6 exterior construction with the best doors and foundation? Do you, dear Collingsworth, have at least a 30 year roof? Cheap interior trim will never do for the best “house of God” is on the land, earth, yea, UNIVERSE!

    Why is this so hard for narcissistic men to understand? Oh yea, because their narcissistic. The arrogance betrays the ignorance.

    God help us. We exhalt our accomplishments and then blame God for them.

    1. The narcissism is so evident in that entire quote….
      how does revival begin–according to Gerald–not with God. It seems to be a man initiated event–which goes along with most Baptist views of the sacraments–man initiated, man performed, man dependent.
      And of course, the if you really want revival–it is going to his church you will find it. Altogether this is evidence of a self centered, insecure man.

      1. Reminds me of the classic AVB song “You Can’t g to Church” where it talks about how we have to be careful about the words we say and call Bible things by Bible names! I go to a Baptist (SBC) church and our sacraments are definitely not for the betterment of the preacher, but for the uplifting of the believer and a reminder of the sacrifice Jesus has made for us. God forbid we would glory in anything He has done for us. This guy probably preaches 2 hour sermons because he loves the sound of his own voice!

  12. Even someone with an elementary knowledge of the Scriptures should know that a truly spiritual minister should not act this way…absolutely retarded…

  13. Dear Doctor Gerald B. Codpiece … er … Collingsworth

    You wrote: ‘God will knock the socks off the preacher when he deserves it.’

    I reply: And whereas we are to imitate God, every church needs 2-3 sock-knockers for God!

    You wrote: ‘Nowhere in the Bible does a church member have permission to correct God’s man.’

    I reply: 1Ti 5:19 teaches that on the basis of two or three witnesses, accusations ARE to be received. Remember those 2-3 sock-knockers I mentioned? Think of this as part of the ‘mutual submission’ of believers.

    Don’t you just hate it when lay people know their Bibles better than you, O quadripple holy most Reverend, most Doctor, almost God person.

    You wrote: ‘even my wife does not call me “Gerald.” She tries to keep a little offishness in our relationship because I am still her pastor.’

    I reply: May your dear wife find this website and cross her legs until you learn that living as God’s man doesn’t imply being an ignorant jerk.

    Christian Socialist

    PS: Where does Scripture forbid church members from correcting God’s man?

  14. You don’t ridicule the appointed MOG, because Gof will strike you just like Miriam when she rideculed Moses.

    I worked with a pastor that didn’t like titles, or being called Pastor Mary. But then accused people of bit respecting her as their pastor.

    I laughed when I read his “testimony”. Our pastor is Bob Phillips.

  15. Most of the time I try to treat people with dignity and respect. Not this time. I have nothing but contempt for guys like this.

    For starters, I’ll make no bones about it, I love the KJV. It’s translated from trustworthy textual sources and it’s reliable and accurate. On top of that, as literature, it’s a masterpiece. But this guy’s not arguing in support of any of that– to him the KJB is a doctrinal issue. We might assume that means that any open minded person would be compelled to admit that the scriptures teach that all people (at least all English speaking people) must read from only the King James Bible. I’d like to see him prove that– using the King James Bible, of course.

    Second, I’m going to digress a little, and for sake of time, I’ll leave a lot out. While stationed overseas, I told God if there was any way to keep me out of Hell, if He’d show me what it was, I would do it. Not long after, I was invited to, and began to attend church. The church was Baptist, and I’m sure independent, but the pastor was a humble, godly man. I remember this man pointing out how Paul, the veteran missionary, in a greeting from one of his epistles, didn’t exalt himself above Timothy. I also remember this preacher teaching that to understand what a verse is saying, you need to know who is speaking, who they are speaking to, and what they are speaking about. Not only that, I never heard this gentleman use the word “Fundamental” in any of its forms. One more thing, it didn’t seem to bother him if someone called him Brother followed by his first name.

    During this time, I was doing a lot of Bible reading. I came across Acts 16:31 and realized for the first time that the word “believe” in “believe on the Lord Jesus Christ” actually meant to trust and rely on. I also read the verse that said, “Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.” and finally understood that this”righteousness” was referring to a right standing with God. After coming to the conclusion that not only did I not want to spend a Christ-less eternity, I didn’t want to go through this present life without Christ, I prayed and told God that I wanted to serve Him regardless of the consequences. Later that same day, I was invited to a prayer meeting at the home of senior enlisted man. Wrapping things up, without any screaming fundy preachers or four point plans of salvation, I listened to a missionary talk about, among other things, the striving of the Holy Spirit. God opened my heart, I realized that that was what had been going on in my life, and that night I finally said yes to the Savior.

    Unfortunately, as I see it, when I got back to the states, I ended up in an ultra fundy church and then eventually ended up at this guy’s alma mater, The “West Point” of Christianity, Hyles-Anderson “College.” Digressing again, early on in my time in Fundydom, I was zealous new convert guy. Today I can barely stand to set foot in a church. Getting back on track, Hyles-Anderson College is an institution that wants its students to work like fanatics while at the same time it swindles them academically.

    If you’re a Hyles grad and you’re the Mog, life can be good. On the other hand, if you’re one of the guys who can’t support a family because you didn’t learn any useful job skills beyond manual labor, things are not as nice. Same thing is true if you’re a widow with children to support who has to rely on charity because you’re paid poorly at your church job and you haven’t received the training necessary to earn a decent wage. And of course, that’s also true for the talented, middle-aged teacher who wants to teach public school but can’t because a lack of credentials have left her trapped in the church school.

    Closing out here, I doubt if this guy reads SFL, but if I were to write him an open letter, it might go something like this:

    Hey Gerald,

    You megalomaniacal hick– if you’re going to stick your finger in someone’s face and say, “Thus saith the LORD,” you’d better be absolutely certain the LORD has spoken. Not only that, you’d better have some extremely convincing evidence to back up that claim.



    By the way, I apologize for writing a book.

    1. Ben, I love it!

      By the way, you notice that I write books, too! Yours was interesting and informative and I was glad to get to know you a bit better.

      It is time for these wolves to get the disrespect they deserve.

      1. Thanks rtgmath, you may write some long posts sometimes, but they’re always good reading. By, the way, when you finally do write that book, I’d like to buy a signed copy from you.

        You know, the other day you mentioned that Fundamentalists don’t really like the idea of democracy and that if they could, the would establish a theocracy. What’s almost ironic is that so many of them are very patriotic. At heart, many Fundamentalists are actually monarchists, and If God were to miraculously transport them back to the time of The American Revolution, they might make wonderful Tories.

        1. Maybe. But ultimately fundamentalists are anti-authority (with the exception of the preacher).

          It turns out that the Baptist churches in the South got a huge boost in membership as people in the Anglican Church left. Anglican priests would not obey the law making it a criminal offense to pray for the King. There was such a severe loss of members over time that the Anglican Church in America reformed to become the Episcopal Church in America. The Book of Common Prayer was altered to reflect more American feelings (and political realities).

          The Baptist churches were full of “patriots” who were much more anti-government than patriotic. After 1789 when the Federal government attempted to collect taxes, many of these people would refuse to pay.

          So I think their royalism is to “King Jesus.” But only to a point. They have in mind that *they* will be ruling on thrones and people will have to bow to *them* and *they* will get to rule with a rod of iron, too. Just like they think Jesus will reign. And boy, do they look forward to having NO grace, but putting the Law down on “those sinners!” That is one of the big selling points for their end-times theology. No meekness for them!

        2. rtgmath,

          Thanks for the history lesson. I hadn’t looked at it way. So do you think that helps explain the secession of the southern states?

        3. Hey Ben,

          It does in great measure. It also explains the radical anti-government feelings in the fundamentalist churches of the South. It explains why the Southern Baptists had a slip-up when one of their leaders tried to explain why slavery was not all bad. It explains why Northern fundamentalists who were trained in the South are bringing their racism and anti-government feeling there, too.

          Remember, the Pastor wants to be the dictator. He believes he is “God’s man,” anointed to lead, to rule, to discipline, to teach with authority even things he knows nothing about.

          Why bullets in the offering plate? Why does the “Pastor” so like to shoot? Maybe its because he sees himself as leading an armed rebellion against the government for Jesus’s sake? Kill the liberals who ought to go to hell anyway! Accept Jesus as your Savior or die! Isn’t that partly how they interpret 2 Thessalonians chapter 2?

          And it isn’t always in what they say, but in how they say what they do. Truly the servants of darkness masquerading as ministers of righteousness!

      2. And the quality of the disrespect being paid to Gerry is exceptionally high even by SFL standards. There’s an awful lot of stuff here that is not only thought provoking, but also incredibly funny.

    2. Dear Ben Padraic:

      First, if Gerald could write a book, you’re MOST welcome to do so.

      Next, if you ever do meet Gerald and give him the ‘thus saith the Lord,’ be sure to remind him of the ‘punishment’ for claiming to speak in Yahweh’s Name when Yahweh hadn’t spoken. If memory serves me correctly, it was stoning.

      Christian Socialist

  16. Hmmm, I am from Ohio. On my next swing through I need to stop and give him my best Newman: “Hello Jerry”.

  17. It’s another family dynasty. Jarrod B. Collingsworth is the choir director and occasionally fills in for the pastor.

    Wonder if he got to call him daddy? Maybe they use the formal Father, to go with more liturgical churches?

      1. How about HRH?

        Usually, it stands for “His Royal Highness,” but I think it would be more fitting to use it in place of “His Royal Hiney” in this case.

  18. A long time member of the church I pastor has said on several occasions, “Any fool can go down the street to start a Baptist church, and many have.” (And for the record, we are affiliated with the Baptist General Conference, but hardly IFB).

  19. “…my position as the person that is to tell them, ‘Thus saith the LORD.'”

    “You don’t need to worry about correcting the preacher, because he works for God. … Nowhere in the Bible does a church member have permission to correct God’s man.”

    How is Gerald’s idea of a Pastor any different from the “not truly Christian” Catholic Pope?!?!

    1. Beacuse the Pope is only infallible some of the time.*

      (*In “ex cathedra” pronouncements on matters of faith only, according to Catholic doctrine since the 1800s. Before that, there was no papal infallibility doctrine.)

      1. I actually didn’t know that, but I guess what I meant was, this pastor is no different from the IFB perception of the Pope, whom they love to condemn.

  20. I believe a while back someone implied that most humans don’t seek power as the end in and of itself. I present this guy as a counter point. There’s no financial, social, or other incentive to play power games against his own wife other this his sick mental condition that has him fixated on getting power dominance over everyone he meets.

    1. Yep. I have often argued that the least paid, of the smallest congregation’s pastors are there for the power they have over others and their ability to manipulate others to acting according to the M-O-g’s standards. Power for the sake of power is heady, addictive stuff that once one is hooked on it, it’s a hard habit to kick.

      1. BTW, I’m blaming George for my reference to Gerald as “this guy”, when I should have used his correct, proper & earned title “this Ass-Clown”.

      2. Yeah. Anyone familiar with small– and I mean SMALL– churches probably knows this without having to be told. The reason that such churches stay small is that once any organization or group gets to around 40 – 45 people, it’s natural for sub-groups to form. Usually either the preacher or the leader of the sub-group gets jealous of the other and starts a fight that usually ends in a split. The split is *never* about anything but ego.

    2. On that point (power games for dominance over his wife), this guy reminds me of my father.

      1. While I loved my father, I feared him greatly. He had a fierce temper, and when he spanked (as he did often), it was much more of a beating than a spanking.

        He and my mom fought with great intensity. Sometimes he beat her physically. As children, me and my sisters usually took up for our mom. It wasn’t until I had gone off to college and returned to see a fight in progress that I realized the truth. My mom was every bit as guilty as my dad – maybe moreso. She was very adept with the verbal daggers. Dad was not as verbal. His only defense was getting angry, yelling, storming out of the house and driving off into the night. It scared us as children and Mom had the luxury of comforting us and putting us to bed.

        Mom was by far the most religious of my parents. Turns out she was the most manipulative as well.

        1. As I grew older I started noticing the two-sides-to-every-coin as well. My mom will tell me all about how my father treats her and how terrible he is. While I agree with her, as I have seen it first-hand, she is trying to win me over to her side and set me against my father. It may be her way of coping. Meanwhile, my father has never said one bad thing to me personally about my mom (one thing I can respect about him).

          I’m terribly sorry for what you had to go through when you were younger. No one should have to grow up in that kind of environment.

        2. I appreciate your comments. At least I can look back on those days with something of a disconnected perspective.

          But if I hadn’t gone through those trials, would I be so passionate about abuse now? If I hadn’t experienced the darkness, would I have appreciated the freedom I now find out of fundamentalism?

          Would I have even desired to leave? Would I have just assumed that our prejudices and hatreds were the right thing to feel and do? Would I have compassion on those in it? Or on those coming out of it?

          So while I am NOT going to say that “it was God’s will,” I will say I wouldn’t trade it. I am who I am. I was crafted in adversity and had to find my way out of the quagmire to solid ground. I don’t know that I am completely out yet (probably not), but I can express my experiences, the reasons I care so deeply, and hope that others will learn from my path what to avoid and how to avoid it.

          We all need to see ourselves as the hero (or heroine) of our own adventures, don’t you think?

        3. A brilliant and positive way to look at your past and future. Hopeful, optimisitc , and using your personal adversities to become passionate about those same things NOT happening to others. I like.

  21. I love the church doctrinal statement on their website. “We believe that Baptist churches were the first churches of Christianity and that Jesus founded a Baptist church.”

      1. That’s an excellent point! For someone so concerned with titles, he’s on a first-name basis with Jesus! Hmmm…

        I once heard an Indian missionary speak about titles. For some cultures, such as his, leaving off a title is a great disrespect – for example, he said the Buddhists around him would never refer to “Buddha” – it was always “Lord Buddha.” So how can we go into such a culture and preach “Jesus”? He said we should always call Jesus the “Lord Jesus Christ” to avoid offence and show proper reverence to the One we claim as God.

        North America isn’t nearly so much about titles culturally, but where someone is fixated on what title he should be called (NOT just his first name!), then that person has an obligation, IMO, to refer to God in terms AT LEAST as respectful as he demands for himself.

        I know, dream on… But it’s worth a little thought….

      2. nico & Janet,

        With Elijah Craig’s comment in mind, maybe the great and powerful, High King, Right Reverend, Doctor Pastor Collingsworth feels he is observing the proper social etiquette for addressing peers.

  22. Holy. Crap. There is so much.

    1. Why does his wife try to keep a little offishness in their relationship? I don’t think it’s because he’s a pastor. I think it’s because he’s insufferable.

    2. Since when is the King James Bible a Baptist doctrine? Or any doctrine at all?

    3. Gerald Gerald Gerald Gerald Gerald! (sorry, his seriousness about that just makes me want to say it a thousand times)

    4. I like how under #3 he hedges what he says. Ok, find a different spiritual leader, folks!….IF you can prove he’s actually doing something wrong and don’t attack the MOg and you better not try to find anything wrong because you are being rebellious yada yada yada.

    5. I have nothing to say about his Hyles fangirling except Blehhck!

    1. 1.His wife keeps a little offishness in the relationship because shortly after marriage she realized her mistake, but because she’s a fundy she’s doomed to suffer with this idiot for the rest of her life!
      2. Salvation comes through faith in Jesus Christ and the King James Bible? I am Southern Baptist and we surely do not preach such nonsense in our church! Lifting a translation to the level of Christ? How does this not trample the blood of Jesus under the feet of men?
      3. Small man syndrome in the extreme! Probably another reason for his wife keeping the offishness in the relationship.
      4. Don’t touch the Lord’s annointed yet again, but too bad the verse if used in context refers to King Saul, and David not wanting to touch the annointed (by GOD) king of Israel! Love how these fundy MOG’s easily put themselves on the same level as kings!
      5. Hyles worship yet again putting dear “brother Hyles” into the Holy Trinity. Sick, twisted, wrong! Anyone who criticizes Jack Hyles criticizes me, well sir at least you understand that who you associate with does taint your reputation. I think when in Ohio we will skip this town and this church!

      1. My sister Michel’s church in Huntsville, AL didn’t do that either. That’s why, upon going the first time, I’ve always wanted to go back.

  23. I saw in one of their newsletter a section from the NRA President. Wonder if he thinks Jesus is going to return slinging a gun?

  24. He broke his own rule by saying, “I consider Jack Hyles my friend” (what?? Not Pastor or Dr.??) I guess I will just have to wait for God to knock his socks off!

  25. “He is what he is: an old-fashioned, Baptist preacher.”
    I believe/hope that there used to be higher educational standards? At least lower ego standards?

    “Try as he has, he has never mastered speaking proper English.”
    So why exactly should I believe that he has mastered listening to God, much less anything to do with the Bible?

    1. An old fashioned Baptist preacher would be someone like Dr. Criswell from First Baptist in Dallas, and this man is not even worthy to be mention in the same post as Dr. Criswell!

      1. Not that Criswell was anything more than a preacher of the God’s Word and a servant to the people of that church. If great works are done in any ministry that ministry must praise God, for surely no works of men will bring about such works!

  26. Looks like Darrell struck the common peroneal with this post! Where are all the Gerald supporters and other like-minded MOGs?

    Perhaps the reality of the failed tradition of one man dictatorships in the body of Christ has made them mute.

    1. “Perhaps the reality of the failed tradition of one man dictatorships in the body of Christ has made them mute.”

      If only…

  27. Here is what his wife wrote for their August, 2013 newsletter.

    From our Pastorโ€™s Wife … Mrs. Vida Collingsworth
    How To Have A Right Relationship With Your Pastor
    The years I have spent as a Christian have taught me that my relationship with the pastor is important to my spiritual growth. I have been under the leadership of four pastors in my lifetime: Louis Farrell, Jack Caldwell, Jack Hyles, and last, but not least, my husband, Gerald Collingsworth. How do we establish a right relationship with our pastor? This article, of course, assumes that the reader has trusted Christ as Saviour, for without this, there is no foundation from which to build. As
    you read the following points, I hope you will examine yourself and see if you have a right relationship with your
    1.Have the Right Relationship with the Word of God.
    Daily read it and obey it. A person disobedient and rebellious to the Word of God will certainly also rebel at the man of God who preaches It.
    2.Have the Right Relationship in Prayer.
    Prayer should be a daily, several times a day, even constant part of our lives as Christians. Your pastor should be somewhere at the top of your list. You should pray for God to give him wisdom, Holy Spirit power, boldness, and compassion as he preaches. I have also found that if I pray for the Lord to give the pastor the exact sermon I need to hear, and also to give me spiritual ears so that I am not offended at the preaching, that He always gives the pastor just what I needed to hear! Also, if you pray this prayer, you will come to church expectantly, for you will want to hear what God has given the preacher to give to you in his sermon.
    3.Have the Right Relationship with Authority.
    Realize that the pastor is the overseer, and he sees things more clearly and with an overall view. He looks for what is best for the whole church, not just one individual. Also, do not always expect to know or understand why the pastor has asked for something to be done in a certain manner, or why he reacts in a certain way. He knows certain facts that you many not, and he does not always have the time, nor the liberty, to โ€œfill you in.โ€ As long as he is not asking you to do something sinful, you should obey. Do not always expect, or demand, to be โ€œin the know.โ€
    4.Have the Right Relationship in Your Personal Walk with the Pastor.
    Do not be too familiar with the pastor. Do not call him by his first name, or treat him in a familiar manner. Do not be looking for his imperfections. Imperfections are there in all of us. Give him the same courtesy you would want anyone to give you when your imperfections are showing. Respect his God-given position, and treat him as the man of God that he is.
    Following these four points will go a long way in establishing a right relationship with any pastor, and as a Christian, faithful in church attendance, listening to the man of God preach, I want my relationship with my pastor to be right.

    1. Authoring this article would indicate the Mrs. Codpiece hasn’t been following steps 1, 2, & 3 in her own article. Really, if she’s calling her husband “Pastor”, she likely doesn’t have a right relationship with her husband or pastor, either for #4.

      1. I feel desperately sorry for Mrs C. Her attitude makes the Stepford Wives look liberated in comparison. The true role of the pastor/leader is to encourage Christians to develop a mature faith, not keep them in perpetual infantile dependence on the leader.

    2. Wow. What a recipe for getting the young girls to lift their holy hands in prayer (along with their skirts) as they worship with the Pastor.

      Also, what a distancing of herself from the proper husband-wife relationship! She becomes merely another sheeple waiting to be sheared.

    3. The fact that she sees her relationship with her husband (excuse me, pastor) as perfectly notmal , and even godly, is very sad indeed.

    4. 1.) What Strangely Warmed said. And to add a little, it’s possible to read and memorize the written Word of God without knowing or having a relationship with the Word who “was God” and who “was made flesh, and dwelt among us.”

      Also, this first point almost seems to imply that anyone who disagrees with anything the pastor does or preaches is not right with God. Tain’t necessarily so. Sadly, those holding this woman’s views also expose themselves to the risk of committing idolatry.

      2.) This woman thinks people should pray to God and ask Him to give the pastor the message that He wants them to hear.

      A number of verses come to mind: John 6:45 reads in part, “And they shall be all taught of God.” Psalm 119:18 says, “Open thou mine eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law.” Of course there’s also 1 Timothy 2:5 which says, “For [there is] one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus;” Based on these verses, what exactly would be wrong with those in the pew prayerfully studying scripture for themselves and asking God Himself to teach them something from His word. Seriously, why pray primarily for a middleman to give you God’s message when God has torn the veil in two and graciously given believers direct access to Himself through Jesus Christ.

      This is just another demonstration that the Baptist doctrine of the “priesthood of the believer” is not really believed, but merely paid lip service by many fundy preachers. Fact is, they seem to have their own Baptist version of Apostolic Succession. Maybe I’m wrong, but wasn’t this one of the issues that resulted in some sort of religious kerfuffle about five hundred years ago?

      3.) “… he sees things more clearly and with an overall view.”

      Many fundy preachers are men of very modest intelligence. In all seriousness though, we shouldn’t look down on someone for something over which they have no control, and God does use “the foolish things to confound the wise.” Still, many fundy preachers are undereducated and openly anti-intellectual– for those things they can be blamed. They also very often have completely unwarranted levels of self-confidence as well as egos that are completely outsized when compared to their actual accomplishments.

      So essentially we are (in a very patronizing way) being asked to defer to the judgement of men who are often inexcusably ignorant, and who very well may very well be less intelligent than ourselves. Presumably, part of the reason we are being asked to do this is because “God doesn’t talk to pastors like he talks to everyone else.” Simply by holding the office of pastor, one is assumed to be imputed with wisdom unavailable to the lowly sheep who occupy the pews.

      4.) “Have the Right Relationship in Your Personal Walk with the Pastor.”

      And He walks with me and He talks with me, and He tells …
      Oh, Wait! That was talking about somebody else!

      The rest of the advice in point “4.” brings a joke to mind.
      Adapted for use here, we might say, “The pastor doesn’t expect any special courtesy, He just wants to be treated as the Great Man Of God that He is.

      Alright, I’m done. Sorry for the excessive number of comments. Guys like Gerald just strike a raw nerve with me.

  28. When will fundies understand that Jesus is the Word of God? “Have a right relationship with the Word of God”.

  29. How many people use the term necking and petting today? Those activities aren’t allowed in public schools either.

  30. Am I the only one who is fascinated with the disconnect between the “jokey and cutesy” fundie promotional materials, like this “im a hilbilly preecher lol” or mentioned some posts before Jack Hyles in red sports car, and Fundamentalism’s hardcore social repressiveness?

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