117 thoughts on “Optimism”

  1. He’s just “sick”.

    I love the use of the word “most” as in “most churches, most pastors.” It’s like they can make an absolute statement without having any facts in which to support it.

    Reason #1: The word generation and the passage that he cites has been critiqued again and again. Christ can come at anytime.

    Reason #2: 1611 + 400 Years is 2011. So God didn’t have his word prior to 1611? KJV1611 was the last thing God said to the planet earth? Seriously? WOW.

    1. yeah, ’cause you know that all IFBers are really 1611-deists who believe that God gave us the “inspired” KJV and then stepped out of the picture.

    2. Yeah. So one translation, interestingly enough one in HIS OWN language, is God’s final message to the world? The arrogance of that belief is astounding.

      I wonder if he faithfully reads the Apocrypha. That was in the 1611 KJV. According to him, it must have been God’s final word to humanity.

    3. It would take more than one lifetime to parse all the factual errors, misunderstandings, and logic failures in this guy’s disquisition. I just hope he’s gotten help by now for his acute depression.

  2. “You’re a pretty wicked, worldly, godless individual if you don’t want Jesus to return.”

    I think every believer knows Jesus will return, and desires his ultimate triumph over evil, but at the same time I know that I myself still hope he’ll be patient a little while longer as there are still those I hope will place their trust in him before he comes.

    I also don’t think that makes me a wicked, worldly, godless individual.

    1. Those were my thoughts as well.

      And oy! The semantics he uses! “The Bible says no man knows the day or the hour. I’m talking about a YEAR, which is not a day or an hour.” ๐Ÿ™„

    2. Yeah, well, I still enjoy my school, job, a good bourbon, and sex. So, I’m ok if he “tarries” a while longer. If that makes me wicked and worldly, make me a bumper sticker, brother, because I’m not going to be dishonest about who I am.

      1. I didn’t say it earlier for the sake of keeping my post brief, but that was definitely the other line of thinking I had.

        There are good things in this world, and they are meant for our enjoyment, and many of those enjoyable things won’t be in a new heavens and earth.

        As much as being with Christ is better still, I’ll leave the timing to him, and I’ll remain thankful for the wonderful things I have to enjoy in the interim.

        1. Another strain of Christian thought is that everything good in this world is just the smell drifting around the corner from the feast to come.

          School? Imagine those days when you’re in the groove, the lectures are amazing, the discussions afterward flash with insight, and thoughtful, engaging papers seem to flow from your fingertips. Imagine NO slump days in between EVER. Also the subject matter would make the greatest minds on Earth (has already for some of them) throw their masterworks in the air, giggle, and dive in afresh.

          Job? Whatever you’ll be doing will be the most profoundly satisfying and challenging thing you’ve ever done, cubed, then cubed again, and minus the parts that drove you nuts.

          Bourbon? Pfff, you haven’t tried the Angel’s Mark yet.

          Sex? Jesus talked about there being no marriage. He said nothing at all about no sex. If we accept that each gender represents the Deity (“in the image of God,” after all) and the explanation for erotic attraction in Genesis, then something like sex is involved in God’s very being and in ours as reflections of God. The drive for diverse beings to become closer in an intimately pleasurable way will still exist, but in a form that might not even be bearable in a mortal body–because it’s that intensely ecstatic. Or the less intense but equally profound drive to hold and be held–that will exist too, but more pure, clear, untrammeled by the quirks of fallen mortality that turn us into what C.S. Lewis called “tethered balloons.”

    3. Jesus has already come again (on the Road to Emmaus), and Christians are already part of the Kingdom of Heaven.

      Eternity is not a linear timeline.

    4. When we were talking about the view of the rapture with my Methodist Youth Group
      I said when I was their age and Baptist – I wanted Jesus to wait until I got married. I didn’t want to spend eternity as a virgin! They all laughed.

    5. I’ve thought along these lines myself as well. Do I want the Lord to return? Well, of course! Heaven would be great, and I don’t like the thought of having to die to get there! But… I have family members and friends who aren’t Christians, and I don’t think it’s unreasonable that I’d want to wait just a little bit longer for them!

    6. You know, lately whenever I hear fundies say things wishing for Jesus’ return like that, I think of Amos 5:

      18 What sorrow awaits you who say,
      โ€œIf only the day of the Lord were here!โ€
      You have no idea what you are wishing for.
      That day will bring darkness, not light.
      19 In that day you will be like a man who runs from a lionโ€”
      only to meet a bear.
      Escaping from the bear, he leans his hand against a wall in his houseโ€”
      and heโ€™s bitten by a snake.
      20 Yes, the day of the Lord will be dark and hopeless,
      without a ray of joy or hope.
      21 โ€œI hate all your show and pretenseโ€”
      the hypocrisy of your religious festivals and solemn assemblies.
      22 I will not accept your burnt offerings and grain offerings.
      I wonโ€™t even notice all your choice peace offerings.
      23 Away with your noisy hymns of praise!
      I will not listen to the music of your harps.
      24 Instead, I want to see a mighty flood of justice,
      an endless river of righteous living.

      Amen, and amen.

      1. Daaaaaaaaaang those last couple of verses (from the Amos passage you posted) hit me right here.

  3. He obviously did not take into account the change of years with the Julian calendar.

    I have always loved fanatics and their math. The fig tree had 12 main branches, one for each of the tribes of Isreal, but you need to add one for the half tribe of Mannasa. Then you take the number of post of the temple and multiply that times the number of pages in the KJV Scofield Bible. This number when added to the date of the flood – May 26, 2000 and divided by number of children killed by the she bear will give you the year 2012. Since the end is near, the day and date have been revealed unto me whilst I was praying [and writing up my grocery list] that December 21 is the day. You see, you take Christmas and subtract the number of Seraphim around the throne. It’s so obvious.

        1. Far too many years in IFB land and hearing some of the crazy “He’s Coming” theories. I was too liberal back then to swallow it, as I am now.

    1. Watching this makes me want to scream, “Dude, stop trying to self-medicate by making awful videos!” Get yourself some Prozac before it’s too late!

      1. That’s what I was thinking. There are meds for people like you. ( here is the southern dig) ” Bless your heart”

    1. You know, he could just sit on the toilet for a while and get rid of a whole lot more weight. (cuz’ he’s full of doodie, if you’re a Fundy, and didn’t get it)

  4. If that is true Christianity who would want it? Thankfully that isn’t it, but sad that people think it is.

  5. God hasn’t spoken since 1611, Darrell you have out done yourself here this is full of all sorts of goodness.

  6. “I’m sick of myself. I’m sick of other Christians.” Way to demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit there!

    Shortly after, he states that he hopes to live a more godly life by going out street preaching again. Methinks, in order to be more godly, he doens’t need to be preaching but rather praying that God gives him love and joy.

  7. “I’ve lost weight, got my web cam fixed, and Jesus is coming back!”

    One of these things is not like the other…

  8. Holy Crap! I hope this guy doesn’t own a gun…or a set of sharp steak knives! If there ever was a reason for a Fundy to START drinking it would be this guy! Take a snort pal! Blow the froth off a couple! Get outside and sit in the sunshine for five minutes! And what is that “B” crest on his shirt? His superhero emblem?

    1. It’s a Maltese cross. Typically worn by firefighters. I can only imagine the conversations that go on at the firehouse where he works.

        1. When … the Knights of St. John, fought the Saracens … they encountered a new weapon unknown to European warriors … fire.

          Fire was unknown to Europeans before the Crusades?
          Um, I don’t think so.

          Anyway, thanks for the link, Persnickety. That’s an interesting legend.

        2. That sentence is awkwardly constructed but it appears to be referring to the weapon in the next paragraph. In my reading I have seen it called Greek Fire but I think it is called other things as well.

        3. Uh-oh, here comes a nerd attack.
          The weapon described is naphtha in glass containers– Molatov cocktails, more or less.

          Greek fire, the secret weapon of the Byzantine Empire, was something different. An angel supposedly gave the secret formula to the Emperor Justinian. How to make it was a closely-guarded secret (which has been lost), but it may have included natural petroleum (pitch), bleached and ground animal bones, and quicklime.

          (Source: William Gurstelle, “Backyard Ballistics”)

          Anyhow, my point was that, although a particular delivery method may have been new to them, fire as a weapon was not a surprise to Europeans.

        4. @BG,

          I will award you nerd points only if you are willing to swear that you knew that without looking it up. If you did know that off of the top of your head then you indeed merit numerous nerd points.

        5. I did already know it, but I double-checked with the book cited to make sure I had the details right.

          Yeah, I’m an uber-nerd. ๐Ÿ˜•

    2. he is s fundy, OF COURSE he has a gun! He will use it to bust a cap in the @$$ of anyone who looks sideways at his stuff, you know, like jeebus would!

  9. Wow. This needs to be re-recorded by a 15 year old girl with a short black haircut and too many tattoos. It sounds like an angsty teen’s whine. “This world sucks. My friends suck. My teachers suck. I suck. Everything sucks. I just want, like, a giant rock to hit the Earth so everyone dies. If you don’t want this to happen, you’re stupid and lame and brainwashed and don’t know how much the world sucks. I hate you. I hate myself more. My Mom didn’t buy me the iPad I wanted. I wanted a 128 gig black one, and she got me this lame 64 gig white one. She sucks. I hope she dies first.”

    1. Couldn’t stop laughing after reading this, made my morning thanks… Even though life sucks ๐Ÿ˜€

      1. Interesting.

        I think some people are drawn to the IFB because it does seem like shaking the fist in the face of general American culture with its separatist stance.
        That desire for a secret club or inner circle (“we have the truth; you don’t”), that YOU’RE a part of and no one else is, is rather immature. The individualist, independent character of the local church, unallied with any denomination appeals to this person: “No ones going to tell me what to do!” (Ironically, in many cases they end up in a church with a pastor who tells them what to do!) They like the “fighting” aspect of the fighting fundamentalist; they enjoy spitting in the face of what’s popular, and they like hearing a preaching “ripping someone’s face off.”

        Also, while teens are known for rebelling against the status quo, they are also very susceptible to following strong leaders. They get involved in gangs or cults or the middle school clique revolving around the queen bee. Certain types of fundies idolize the MOG in a singularly non-contemplative way.

        Like teens, they often have an inflated view of their own importance and influence as well as, in some of them, a lack of impulse control, whether that be in being rude, insulting people from the pulpit, or not knowing when to say “when” at the buffet line. Certainly some of the rants I’ve heard from the pulpit, including mocking and insulting people whom they dislike, are very childish and not much different than an explosion of temper from a peevish teen.

        In addition, their black and white vision of the world is reminiscent of childish thinking. It’s a world without nuance or exceptions. You agree with them or you’re wrong. They find grace slippery and prefer the stability of law. They can be super idealistic and dismissive of anything that doesn’t fit their version of how things should be.

        On the other hand, I know fundies who are very disciplined, self-controlled, hard-working, generous, and sacrificial, which seem to be more mature traits.

        So are fundies locked in perpetual teenagerhood? Maybe! ๐Ÿ™‚

        (You did say to discuss!)

        1. I am not qualified to diagnose anyone with anything but what you wrote reminded me of the following condition:

          I have a relative who is dealing with a mild case of this.

          BPD is characterized by Black and White thinking. It is termed splitting. The basic concept is: if something is bad it is all bad. If something is good it is all good. They have a hard time seeing nuance.

          BPD is also frequently characterized by poor impulse control.

        2. I am also not qualified to diagnose, but as the daughter of a parent with a personality disorder, I suspect that you’re right: there are a lot of folks in fundyland with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The two have some overlap in symptoms, but they are equally destructive to the sufferer and those around him/her, and fundyism is a perfect fit for the kind of cognition and behavior that accompanies these disorders.

        3. I’ve had personal experience with people who have BPD. Living with one of them is no picnic.

  10. “He could’ve came”???

    If you’re going to preach on the Second Coming of Christ, at least you should learn the correct past participle for the verb “to come.”

    (I know; it sounds like I’m nitpicking, but hearing “came” used in that context is so annoying!)

    1. I have the same reflex, but poor grasp of Standard English is probably the least disturbing aspect of this video.

  11. Oh, no! I’ve missed the rapture! I’ve missed the rapture! I’ve missed the rapture! Oh. My. Gosh. ๐Ÿ˜ณ

    1. Don’t worry. It happened in 2011, and we’re all in Heaven now. Nice view from here, wouldn’t you say?

    2. I know how you feel, I HATE it when I miss important stuff like this, ๐Ÿ˜ก forgetting to pay the electric bill, letting my library books get overdue, missing the End Of The World, it just ruins my whole day! Darn, I knew there something important. :mrgreen:

  12. Production tip: The clever visual effect of sitting where it looks like there’s a candle growing from your head works even better if you light the candle.

  13. This guy needs to lighten up, ALLOT. I could only listen to about 3 minutes of this… If EVERYTHING sucks, then maybe its not EVERYTHING thats the issue?

  14. Okay. Video Dude says that the prophecy of Israel returning to their historical homeland is necessary for the Second Coming to take place. So by his own words, for 1,900 years Jesus was not able to return!

    So from the destruction of Herod’s temple until the UN partition of the British Mandate a Christian could think to himself “I don’t have to worry about Jesus coming back today since the Jews are improperly allocated geographically. If they had ever clumped up in one spot and formed their own government I would need to behave. But only if it were 40 years subsequent to the formation of their government. Or possibly 70.”

    Fundamentalism really does make one believe some very odd things.

    Alternatively, the passage about the fig tree is not talking about Israel since nowhere does it say that it is talking about Israel.

  15. An eschatology that makes someone like this man sick of the the world (that God made), hate himself, and otherwise want to bail from God’s call on his life to be salt (preserve) and light (illuminate)our culture is an eschatology to be avoided…so glad now to be a “worldly” Christian with a world-affirming eschatology.

    1. As Paul put it, “My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account.” (Phil. 1:23-4, Evil Sinful Version)

    2. Honestly, I more think he was sick of the world and himself, and found a belief system that matches that feeling, than that the belief system made him sick. The beliefs aren’t helping him any, however.

  16. For the life of me, at first glance or out of the corner of my eye, when the still for this video first appears on the screen, it looks like that is his middle finger which is rigidus-erectus.
    ๐Ÿ˜ฏ :mrgreen:

  17. Holy Testicle Tuesday. I so did not see the KJV angle coming. Pensacola truly is the center of some fundy vortex of dark power.

    I think my brothers and sisters its very clear that Jesus will return in 2011, and I for one am still godly enough to look forward to that!

    Oh wait…

  18. I often rail on how the modern Fundys disparage the Reformers/Reformation but love the Reformation Bible (AV). Here is another example…the KJV translators were Historicists, not futurists. Therefore, they did NOT believe that the Bible teaches about a “rapture” separate from the Day of Lord (a belief I share with them). I don’t have to tell you that they (the KJV translators) also pegged the identity of the Antichrist…but since that doesn’t fit the Fundys’ endtime beliefs, they choose to ignore it. The duplicity of Fundys never ceases to amaze me.

  19. There were people in my fundy church last year that kept talking about how “marvelous” it would be if Christ returned to earth on the glorious 400th anniversary of the KJV. No one would dare make a prediction of course, but it was definitely discussed.
    I myself am still working through the whole KJV-only thing. God is revealing to me bit by bit just how arrogant and painfully wrong I was in believing the KJB crap I was fed all my life. I just purchased my first NIV and am starting to read it. I’m planning on buying a few more versions to study and finally learn for myself instead of depending on the manogawd to tell me how it is. My kids are a bit confused but are going with the flow. ๐Ÿ˜

    1. Something Different – Don’t let the KJV-Only imbeciles taint your view of the AV. I still have a strong preference for the AV as I think that it is the finest translation available. I like the fact that I am reading the same words that Bunyan, Wesley, Whitfield, Edwards and Spurgeon read…and if it was good enough for them, it is good enough for me. As a former-fundy-turned-reformed I am NOT dogmatic about it, however, so if you find another version that suits your tastes, I say go with it. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

      1. I would have to disagree with you. The English is beautiful – the KJV is one of the best books ever written in English. Unfortunately, the actual meaning of the text is sometimes obscured for the sake of art. Not bragging, but I took six semesters of Greek and have read the New Testament through in Greek. Honestly, it doesn’t always translate well into English, but there are places where the KJV translators not only got it wrong, but seem to have done so intentionally for the sake of art. And of course, there is the text issue; the KJV was translated from some texts that are marginal, and a few that are just wrong. I don’t think its a bad translation by any stretch, but some of its offspring (RSV and ESV come to mind) are more accurate.

        1. Dr – I will just say that we will have to agree to disagree on this one ๐Ÿ˜€ I will refrain from a full-blown apologestic (from a Reformed perspective) because I don’t want to associate myself with the “Onlys”. Regardless, you are correct about the beauty of the English…I actually used it for speach training with my apraxic son. Now he speaks like a perfect gentleman.

    2. I understand where you are coming from. When it me was when I was at UCLA and taking Danish (language not the pastry). I had a Danish Bible that I was using to help my vocabulary… and it was neat. I also attended an IFB church that actually started the KJV only mess. Yes, you can blame it on them. Anyway, I am in Sunday School class and this guy looks over at my Danish Bible with funny letters and asks if that is a KJV. I reply, no, it is a Danish Bible, not an English Bible. He gets all huffy… no Bible but the KJV is right. I say, fine, for an English translation, but this is the most accurate Danish translation (okay, it is the ONLY Danish translation, therefor most accurate). He just kept going on that I was sinning and not saved because I was not using a KJV. I realized that there was no help for that level of ignorance.

      I am also of a mind that the KJV, while I like it and will always use it by my preference, is not a good translation for the typical idiot person that inhabits our world today. They don’t know and don’t really understand Elizabethan English. They need to use a translation that use more current English. Of course, if I said this at my church there would be a burning at the stake next Wednesday night service.

      1. I agree that the KJV is not a good translation for today’s world. It was great the 17th century, but we do not speak or write like that anymore.

      2. Liz, imagine being new to English and using the KJV to learn English.
        You’d go to a lumber yard and say something like, “Prithee, young wight, houue many talentf of silver need I render unto thee for seuenteen cubitf of gopheruuood timberf?”

      3. Liz, I agree with you. But I got sidetracked reading the whole thing and would like to eat a danish now. Thanks a lot! ๐Ÿ™‚

      1. Since I began reading the ESV for my daily reading last year, I have learned so much! There’s been so many times when I read something and go… is that really what it says in other versions? And I check, and yes, there it is, plain as day in the KJV, it’s just that I never noticed it before. Reading the ESV has made the Bible so fresh to me! I love it.

        (Not that I’m declaring the ESV to be the One True Version or anything. It does of course have the same problems every translation suffers from. But I do like it a lot.)

        1. I agree!

          I grew up KJVO and didn’t start reading other versions until well after I was married.

          I love the beauty and the history of the KJV, but as C. S. Lewis said, “We must sometimes get away from the Authorized Version, if for no other reason, simply because it is so beautiful and so solemn. Beauty exalts, but beauty also lulls. Early associations endear, but they also confuse. Through that beautiful solemnity, the transporting or horrifying realities of which the Book tells may come to us blunted and disarmed, and we may only sigh with tranquil veneration when we ought to be burning with shame, or struck dumb with terror, or carried out of ourselves by ravishing hopes and adorations.”

          Right now, I’m reading the NLT which I love.

    3. Why 400 years? What’s special about that number? Is it because the math works out to 2011 or what?

  20. when I attempt to post any comments on the forum, the only thing it says is “undefined” it allows me to post the “subject” but it won’t post the comment! I pm’d Darrell twice and the only message he could see was “Undefined” …….any ideas,anyone? I know you all want me to be with you through the holidays! ๐Ÿ˜€ oh, yea it posts my comments on the blog!

  21. The best sermon from my HS years was preached by our principal. The subject was what heaven would be like. I remember he opened with the fact that the heaven that most Baptists describe sounded “boring” to him. That made my head snap along with everybody else’s. Probably due to the fact that it sounded totally honest and we all agreed with him. Two things that almost never happened at the same time. The gist was basically him imagining all of the cool things we’d be doing depending on what we were interested in here on earth. Artists using the sky as a canvas, basketball players with fantastic abilities, etc. He admitted that “holding hands and singing for eternity” just didn’t do it for him. He made it clear that he was discussing possibilities and he didn’t know what we’d be doing, but we all enjoyed it because it was real and from the heart.

    With that in mind, I know nobody will be married because the Bible is clear about that, but where does it say we won’t be having sex? I gotta imagine that if we aren’t having sex, it’s gonna be something better than sex. Otherwise we’ll all be sitting in heaven remembering how great sex was when we were on earth. We’re gonna eat and drink, so I don’t know if sex, or a heavenly equivalent of it, is an impossible dream.

    Lastly, Jesus knew that he had to be crucified but he still prayed that if the Father knew a better way, He’d rather do that. So I don’t think there is anything wrong or sinful, about hoping Jesus comes back after everyone we care about gets saved.

    1. Maybe the reason God will have to wipe all tears from our eyes is that He will have just told us that there will be no more sex.

      1. Once again I’m thankful that I wasn’t drinking my coffee when I read this ^ comment.


  22. Dear friend:

    Why not do as some did earlier in church history.

    Go to the desert.
    Build a platform atop a 40 foot pole.
    Stabilize the pole in the ground.
    Climb the pole and hop on the platform.
    Live out your days, waiting for Jesus.

    Christian Socialist

  23. I can not pick apart a man’s poor grammar or his seemingly bizarre views when to me he is struggling with bigger issues than our amusement. I hope 2013 finds him in a happy state of mind. Merry Christmas.

  24. Wow…. the KJVers that I know deny double inspiration of Scripture, but this guy whole-heartedlely embraces it and then uses it as an argument for Christ’s return. What a twisted way that a version of the Bible is an idol to certain fundys…….

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