Friday Challenge: You Never Forget Your First

They say you never forget your first. Today’s challenge is to recall the first time you broke the fundy code in some way.

What was the first movie you saw in the theater? What was your first purchase of unapproved music. What was the first time you wore clothes that didn’t check?

How did that make you feel?

145 thoughts on “Friday Challenge: You Never Forget Your First”

  1. I broke the rules in varying degrees my whole way through. We didn’t start going to a fundy church until I was in 3rd grade, so my parents never adopted ALL the rules. My parents weren’t completely agreed on dress and music, either. My big “sneaks” were music in high school and college. It was so freeing when I realized that Frank Garlock was wrong and that it was OK to enjoy the music I liked. I never bought into the “pants on women are wrong” thing. It sure felt good when I never had to wear a dress unless I felt like it. I think I went about 7 years before I could wear even a short denim skirt without feeling repressed. πŸ™‚ And I could only manage that because it was too short to be fundy!!

  2. Wow – I guess my decades in the Hyles-following church is still embedded deeply; many of the things listed by the people here are still things I don’t like to do.

    Getting on to this web site and reading stories is probably the worst I’ve done

  3. My first movie in the theater was Star Wars Episode I, the summer before my senior year in Fundy U. I decided a long time before that was going to be my first movie. Wish I would have went with my roommate to see The Matrix a couple of months earlier.

    My other big first was buying an NKJV MacArthur study Bible. That was a year out of college.

  4. I waited till after I graduated from Fundy high school to start “breaking the rules.” First movie: (don’t laugh…) Evan Almighty at a little 2 screen theater hours away from home with my aunt.

    Though, a few weeks later, I convinced my friend to see Bourne Supremacy on its opening weekend. So hopefully that redeems me from horrible first theater choices? (Or not…as I kinda corrupted him LOL) Folks weren’t pleased with me when I told them I had gone to the theater…. And now, a few years later, we’re all going to see “Raiders of the Lost Ark” at a special showing next week. Ahhh…how things have changed.

    Can’t really say the music thing was a big break. I grew up with non-fundy music all my life. And, I don’t drink, yet. Still really looking into the issue in the Bible, after finding that passage in Deuteronomy 14.

  5. First of all, everything I did I felt guilty about. Of course looking back now, I ask “Why the heck did I think all this was so horrible??”

    First movie: Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants 2. Haha. I was 20-ish? Friend and I drove an hour away to watch it. How lame. She was a PK.
    First unapproved CD purchase: I think it was Rascal Flatts.
    First kiss: In Hot Topic. While attending Fundy U. Again, LAME!!
    First unapproved clothes: All of a sudden when I turned 12, pants and shorts became evil. But until that time I’d been allowed to wear them. When I was around 17 my parents let me wear pants that were like 2 sizes too big for me. I was like a Fundy white cracker. Again when I was 17 I started wearing my sleeveless dresses to church without the little jackets that came with them. Ooo, how daring. πŸ™„

    I married a man who was not IFB and never had been. We love going to the drive-in just down the street, and love all sorts of music. (love Beatles) I wear anything I want. Really my husband set me free from my Fundy chains. He was the first person in my life who showed me what Jesus was really like–loving and unconditional. We left my IFB church soon after marriage. He’d only been coming with me like 6 months.

    I married a guy who wasn’t IFB and never had been.

      1. Say it ain’t so…an iPhone messed up!? I didn’t think that was possible. πŸ˜›

    1. How do the “no pants” folks deal with women soldiers, mail carriers, women who need to do farm work, clean out the gutters, – or the woman cop who pulls them over?

      1. They would say that most of those are jobs a woman has no business doing. Especially being a cop or someone in authority, because that may cause her to usurp authority over a man. So a Cop or being in the armed services is out. It’s not feminine! The only thing on your list that would be acceptable is farm work because then she can be her husband’s helpmeet. And farm work can be done in culottes or a jean skirt. 😈

  6. I was listening to the radio one time, and came across a forbidden station. It was playing “Don’t Speak” by No Doubt It was then that I decided that it was worth risking getting caught listening to “bad” music. Here was music that expressed deep sadness that I was forbidden to experience. Still love that song. First time we broke the movie rule, I was actually with my mother and we watched Me, Myself, and Irene. She laughed during the movie and I was so sheltered I was half horrified and half clueless the whole time. She made me swear to never tell that we watched it. Double standards at their finest.

  7. Saw Toy Story on our Honeymoon. first movie theater. Felt like hey, our house, our rules, we can do this now and our parents can’t do anything about it! :-0

  8. My family was in the middle of the road compared to other people in our church and school, so the first time for a lot of things never stood out to me. But here’s what I do remember.

    First (allowable) movie in a theater: Mask of Zorro when I was 15. I went with the PKs so it was OK.

    First unallowed movie in a theater: Master and Commander and LoTR my junior year at Fundy U. I could have been kicked out. Before that I had watched lots of unapproved movies on my computer in the dorms. We kept the volume low and always had someone’s hand hovering over the keyboard ready to shut it off if the door opened. πŸ˜†

    Music: I didn’t listen to much music growing up, but some people in our church did not approve of Steve Green. Amy Grant was unacceptable because she was divorced.

    First “rock concert”: Casting Crowns in my early twenties. It was a slippery slope from there because now I listen to just about anything except country and rap.

    Non-KJV Bible: I bought an NIV Bible after I kept hearing a prominent KJV-only preacher explain the literal meaning of some passages and noticing that the NIV I was borrowing matched more closely than the KJV. Now I use YouVersion on my phone and switch versions constantly just for fun.

    First drink: I went with some friends from work in my late twenties. We had a great time and no one passed out, got into a fight, or anything else I had been told would happen. πŸ™„

  9. Well, I never kept the rules. I never rebelled against them either; I just did what I wanted. The way I saw it (and still do), is that they had their personal preferences, and I had mine. I was disinclined to follow theirs and inclined to follow mine. So I did. Never got in any real trouble either.

  10. This isn’t that hard for someone who grew up sinning, because he had been raised in a non-Christian home. I got saved when I was 20. I went to movies my whole life. I listened to every form of music that was out there. I went to all the dances, parties, proms, movies and all the other things that “Teenagers” did then and today. The amazing thing is that when I got saved I didn’t want to do those things anymore. God saved me in a IFB church after growing up around SBC and Pentacostal/Assemblies of God churches. My Pastor didn’t beat me over the head, he just told me why he didn’t go and it made sense to me. He taught me about personal holiness and separation from worldliness. When I got serious about serving the Lord I realized my music was not helping me to grow closer to the Lord. So I changed. I know what I did before I got saved, so why would I want to duplicate that now? I gave 20 years to the world/flesh/devil, now I would just rather honor the Lord with my life (I am 43 yrs old now.) I’m a Fundamental Baptist but I’m not mad about it. My goal is to honor the Lord with every area of my life because that is the life I am going to give account for at the Judgment Seat of Christ. So I guess I am the odd man out here. I’m not celebrating “Breaking the rules;” but rather, I am reflecting on changing my rules for HIM (Jesus). Isn’t that how it is supposed to be?

    1. God never asked me to stop going to movie theaters or listening to certain types of music or to stop wearing pants – that was all my pastor’s doing by “teaching for doctrine the commandments of men”

      God does not require such things to be “holy” or “separated from the world”. Christ changed me much more deeply than that.

      1. John 13:35 By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.

        1. I don’t know about God not telling you to stop doing any of those things. I just read my Bible and applied things like, “Be ye Holy for I am Holy.” I couldn’t think that God would want me to listen to music that had profanity in it, watch movies that had profanity in it or with scenes that caused me to look at a woman with her clothes off. I didn’t think He wanted me to go to places that I didn’t really have to go to other than by my own choice. Jesus did say, ” By this will all me know that ye are my disciples if ye have love one for another.” He also said, “If ye love me keep my commandments.” Don’t get me wrong. I fail every day. However, I know that the people I work with and the people I rub shoulders with and my family are all watching to see if I conform to the world or have I been transformed with a renewed mind. They saw me before I was saved and they see me now. I really don’t care what saved people think or what lost people think. I am more concerned with what the Lord thinks. Paul said, “Ye were bought with a price, therefore, glorify God in your body and your spirit which are Gods.” Wearing pants doesn’t make you worldly. Going to the movies doesn’t make you worldly. Just as not wearing pants or not going to the movies makes you spiritual. The question is can I do these things without violating my conscience. Paul address this in 1 Corinthians when he speaks about eating idols offered in sacrifice to false Gods. If they could do it without if violating their conscience Paul said basically said, “Go for it.” Several years ago I stopped wearing shorts. Not that I think shorts are ungodly on a man or a woman if worn appropriately. I realized I was wearing shorts at home, shopping, sporting events and pretty much everywhere but when I went to the church to cutt the grass or help on a work project I would always change into a pair of jeans. One day I stopped to say, “why am I changing into jeans?” My Pastor had never said a word to me about wearing shorts. His son that was a senior at PCC wore shorts all the time. I suddenly came to the realization that if I couldn’t wear shorts to work at the church maybe I shouldn’t wear them at all. Now lets don’t be stupid about this. I don’t go swimming in my jeans or sweats. I just made the conscious decision, for me, that was what the Lord wanted me to do. I don’t make it a point of contention or conflict I just don’t wear them. Does that make me more spiritual? Nope! It just gives “me” a clear conscience before the Lord. I’m not bitter or angry it’s just who I am.

        2. <> Exactly, Mote. This is the freedom we have in Christ. This is a demonstration of the priesthood of the believer. God’s Spirit speaks to each of us who are saved, guiding us how to live.

          This is not the experience of those of us on this site, however. Nearly all of us were told in excruciating detail, the things we HAD to do in order to be right with God. People who didn’t keep those rules were regarded as backslidden and ranted against from the pulpit, despite Scripture clearly saying that only God can see the heart, despite Paul writing, “Stand fast therefore in the liberty with which Christ has made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.”

          You describe willingly choosing to avoid certain activities in order to reflect the holiness of God in your life. That’s good, but that is not the experience of most of us.

          Most of us grew up being told to be VERY, VERY concerned with what other people think (although we were told to only care what the Lord thought; this kind of duplicity caused a lot of frustration): “Don’t wear jeans; people will think you’re worldly”; “Don’t go watch ‘Toy Story’; people might think you’re watching an R-rated movie”; “Don’t play basketball Sunday afternoon; people might think you’re dishonoring the Lord’s Day.”

          We were TOLD that we were ONLY trying to live by the Bible, but we were giving long lists of standards to PROVE our holiness or to keep us from sin. As we grew older, we checked Scripture with what our parents, teachers, and pastors had told us and went, “WAAAAAIT a minute! This isn’t in Scripture.” At that point, we should have been told, “You’re right. These standards are just our preferences. Now that you’re an adult, you can choose for yourself with the guidance of the Holy Spirit how best to live for Christ and reflect Him to the world” but instead we were told, “Yeah, I don’t have a Bible verse for it, but if you don’t live by these standards, you’re not really sold out for Christ, you’re really worldly, you’re giving in to your lusts, you don’t care about pleasing Jesus”, etc.

          There are many of us on this site who are fighting for our freedom in Christ, who are struggling to gain what the Bible says we have: the ability to allow the Holy Spirit to show US PERSONALLY how WE are to live.

          From what you write, and I do appreciate your telling us your background, you have no idea the kind of oppression it is to grow up being told that the only way to please God was to follow man-made standards. I strongly believe that for many of us it is the Holy Spirit within us that has led us out of that kind of bondage and legalism.

          <> I agree with you 100%, but nearly everyone here who grew up IFB were told that wearing pants DID make us worldly, and if we gave them up, we’d be holier than those who didn’t. It fostered outward compliance, it fostered pride and self-righteousness, and it fostered a judgmental attitude toward other believers in which we looked at other Christians and made assumptions about them: “She’s wearing pants; she must not really love Jesus.” Of course, that’s ridiculous, but that’s what we were shown by our authority, and that’s how we lived until we either rejected it wholesale or found our way, through much struggle, into the freedom of living in the Spirit.

          If any believer feels in their conscience that any activity causes him to sin, certainly they should not do it. I do not scorn any Christian who chooses not to go to movies, not to listen to contemporary Christian music, not to wear certain clothing, not to drink, etc. My issue is when that same Christian takes his personal standards and demands that every other believer also give up those things.

          The Bible is CLEAR that certain things are sin: lying, stealing, fornication, and so on. But the Bible leaves a lot of choices to the individual believer; most of our churches and colleges took that freedom away from us and it has been a long, exhausting, personally painful struggle to regain the liberty that God intended for us all along.

        3. Oops. I tried to quote you twice, Mote, and managed to make the quotes disappear.

          The first quote that I tried to reference at the beginning was “If they could do it without if violating their conscience Paul said basically said, β€œGo for it.””

          The second quote in paragraph 8 was this: “Wearing pants doesn’t make you worldly. Going to the movies doesn’t make you worldly. Just as not wearing pants or not going to the movies makes you spiritual.”

        4. There’s a tremendous mental disconnect when you grow up singing songs about grace and joy but being taught fear and guilt, reading Bible verses about freedom but living under burdensome extra-Biblical rules, purporting to be following Christ but attending churches where His Name and teachings are often not mentioned, and memorizing Scripture about love while seeing instead judgmental and divisive attitudes toward other believers.

        5. @ M&B
          You said: He also said, β€œIf ye love me keep my commandments.”
          Ok, what are those commandments?
          I know from experience that most IFB churches go back and include the Decalogue, yet we know from Scripture that when Jesus said “keep” my commandments he was on the threshold of fulfilling all the Law. (You do know that “the strength of sin is the law”?)

          So what are these commandments that Jesus Gave?

          Secondly and this it the entire point of SFL. You freely state that these things you do are according to your conscience, correct? Legalism comes when you, some M-O-g, or anyone projects their personal convictions on another as a requirement for holiness.
          I was under the Fundie influence from 14 until I left the bunker at 46. In all that time I allowed the guy in the pulpit and the movement to dictate my actions. How I dressed, what I watched, what I did… and none of that caused to God to love me one nano-byte more. I began to dawn on me that the IFB is a performance religion based solely on appearance.
          I began to examine my beliefs in light of
          Scripture rather than according to what the cult dictated or the man in the pulpit dictated. (you do know that just because he stands in the pulpit it doesn’t make him holier or more Spiritual don’t you?)
          So, was I following Biblical mandates or man made ones?
          Regarding what I wear. Why should I wear anything different to church than any other day? Does James not tell us

          My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory. For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, β€œYou sit here in a good place,” while you say to the poor man, β€œYou stand over there,” or, β€œSit down at my feet,” have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? But if your conscience tells you to dress us then do so, but do not project that requirement onto anyone else as most IFB preachers do.

          See your beliefs will dictate your bahavior. Do we do that we do because it is spelled out in Scripture and our spirit is being led by the Holy Spirit in the matter? or because it is spelled out in the standards and traditions of the congregation we attend? (99% of the time we will answer that we are spirit led because it lines up with what the pastor believes… but have we really examined it for ourselves? Is scripture clear or is it like Dispensational Eschatology… merely accepted tradition?)

          Now here is your Pharisee test. What does the Bible have to say about drinking alcoholic drinks?
          The only commandment is that you don’t get drunk. Yet the fundie Pharisees add to that by drawing a line way back here and saying, “If you never take a drink you won’t get drunk.” So they make it a sin to take a drink. And then they proceed to put a demon in every bottle.

          M&B, look, most of us have realized that Christ is so much more than a set of rules that we either have imposed on us or that are self imposed. We see that the system of the one-man rule leads to the cult of personality and man worship. Some of us have seen the movement worship not only the man in the pulpit but the King James Version of the Bible. We have seen Christ used as a Billy-club to bash people over the head in order to keep them in line. We have seen man made standards exalted to the level of Essential doctrine. And we have heard a god preached who is so weak that he can do nothing without our help. And we have been ruled over with an iron fist by the “weaker Brother” doctrine for too long.

          So, we have left and we are sounding the claxons and shouting out the warnings against the man-centered cult of the IFB movement in hopes that it open the eyes of some to the truth of this traditions of men religion.

          It is not about who we are at Church, it is not about what we do for Christ… it is about Christ and Christ alone. It is who we are “IN” Christ not what we “do” for him.

        6. um, george you were supposed to close the blockquote after the passage from James.
          *sry george bad.. too late now though

        7. Mote and Beam wrote: “I don’t know about God not telling you to stop doing any of those things. I just read my Bible and applied things like, β€œBe ye Holy for I am Holy.” I couldn’t think that God would want me to…”

          Nope. God never once told me not to stop listening to classic rock, going to movies at the theater, or wearing pants. He also never told me to cut my son’s hair over his ears. Never, not even once.

          The verses you quoted also never say such things. You have decided to interpreted them that way, reading fundy standards into Scripture.

          There is NOTHING I can do to be holy.

          All holiness is because of Christ. My works do not accomplish holiness at all.

        8. For those things that were not in the Bible, which were their standards not necessarily God’s we were told we had to obey them because we had to obey those who were over us in the Lord. That included your parents, husband, the pastor, your teachers etc. We were told that what they said was as if it came from God Himself because they were God’s appointed head over us. This was how they could get around those extra-Biblical revelations concerning their rules. πŸ™

    2. Deciding you don’t want to do “typical teenage things” anymore is a normal developmental stage. It’s also pretty normal to find those things totally unappealing in your 40s. However, many people who grew up fundamentalist didn’t get to have a normal adolescence. You got to grow into and out of those activities on a pretty normal timeline. Many of us didn’t really get to experience those things when we were teenagers, so rather than growing out of them in our 20s (or later), we were/are experiencing them for the first time.

    3. Apostle Paul grew up with nothing but law. He was fully trained by it and it was lorded over him. But when he came to understand grace did he go out and take part in the worldly pleasures of modern life? I’m sure after getting his sight back he stopped off to watch a few games at the coliseum, or went by a roman feast to gorge himself on meat and make use of a vomitarium. Or better yet, maybe he decided to let loose and dress more liberally, you know flash the guns a bit more.

      Did all you grow up on law only? or did you just never understand the gospel of grace? whatever failings your church and preachers and parents have with legalism – its not bearing on the reality that the true gospel has never penetrated your heart. Your talking about how liberating it is to indulge in the ways of the world – you think your undiscerning mind hasn’t just accepted an equally false understanding of the gospel today?

      I hate that I waste time with stupid distractions of this world!!!! And yet I still do it – Oh wretched man that I am… Lord have mercy, He knows how pathetic I am.

      1. Thanks for stopping by with your bit of “drive by” sanctimony. Perhaps you would care to share your list of worldliness with us so that we, who are soooo undescerning can study it and be more… oh wait, BTDT.
        You missed a golden opportunity to invoke the “weaker brother” here brother. Oh, my bad, you have the gift of seeing into the hearts of others and know whether they are saved or not; so you have judged that, “the reality that the true gospel has never penetrated your heart.” That must be an awful burden to bear brother, being able to judge from the hip like that. πŸ™„

  11. I am thankful. I was raised by my mom she was single. my father passed when I was 8. she was a born again Jesus loving free thinking child of the 60’s I grew up listening to dylan and the beatles. she would have a glass of wine from time to time and would let me have a glass as well. I went to a ace christian school and sometimes we went to the same church. she said that music drinking and clothing rules were mans rules. to be followed at church or school. she told me not to ever accept christ until i made that decision for me because unless i felt it in my heart. I have raised my children the same way. to think for themselves and question authority and their rules. I am sorry I cant relate to you all. I just never have felt the guilt not when drinking a bottle of strongbow hard cider or sharing with my kids, not watching dazed and confused, not when listening to acdc, not when cursing because manchester united is losing a match, and not when telling my children not to follow Jesus because thats what I do but following him when you feel it in your heart

    1. don’t worry bro, i was never a fundy either so i can’t quite “relate”. but i enjoy this site, and i appreciate the people here. I’ve learned a lot from them.

  12. Cannon Ball run was the first movie I went to. I was on summer break from my fundy college, my brother was still in high school. My parents went on vacation with out us. We didn’t have a party but we did go to the movies. The whole time I was worried that the place would catch fire and there would be newspaper headlines reading “Fundy preacher’s daughter dies in fire at movie theater!”
    I don’t think this was my brother’s first trip to the movies. He was always braver than I. We went to that movie because it was filmed right next door to our fundy high school.

  13. Firsts
    Movie Theatre Experience: Ace Ventura:Pet Detective -epic
    Concert: Kansas -told my friend’s dad it was a country band
    Rock music album: Use Your Illusion 1&2 – GnR – parents found it a month later

  14. The only major first I had was the movie theatre. I was extra surprised because it was my Dad that suggested taking us kids. Our church had been coming out of legalism for quite some time by then. We went to see Star Wars Empire Strikes Back – the re-release in the 1990’s. We already had all the original trilogy taped off TV (and watched often), so I guess it seemed a reasonable choice for first time to theatre *shrug*

  15. It was the original Star Wars for me. 1977, fresh out of Bible college (fundy lite) and teaching in a fundy school in Oregon that I refer to as “Pensecola North” because it was run by Arlin Horton’s brother. My best friend from college had been hired there, too, and we were given a small house on school property to live in, so there was a bit of feeling “observed.” After a stressful first couple of weeks we decided to reward ourselves by slipping off to the downtown theater to see this blockbuster that we’d heard so much about. Wow! The last movie I’d seen in a theater before my family stumbled into extreme IFB when I was 13 was Mary Poppins! At the last note of the end credits my partner in crime and I looked at each other and wordlessly agreed to stay through the next showing. After that, we used a Star Wars weekend as a reward for getting grades averaged, or papers graded, or dealing with the mindlessness of the “big orange book” system. We saw Star Wars 11 times before it disappeared from theaters. That movie kept my sanity that year.

  16. My first movie in the cinema was a re-issue of the “Jungle Book.” I still enjoy it.

    I grew up listening to classical music and gospel-ish music, but found my real musical love at 16 when I was introduced to traditional Irish Music.

    Had my first alcoholic drink at around 30. Over-indulged a couple of times and decided that a small amount of alcohol is OK, but drinking too much isn’t really worth it.

    Got my first tattoo in September 2005 – an small Alpha-Omega symbol on my right shoulder blade. I was 40-mumble years old, and have got a lot more artwork done since then.

  17. I let my oldest kid watch “The Hunger Games” at the movies yesterday. I feel somewhat liberated.

  18. DC Talk’s “Free at Last” – A camps counselor friend let me borrow it. Oh man, guitars and rapping and everything! We had to make sure we turned it down while playing it in the church parking lot whenever one of the deacons would come around. And Jesus Freak? The line “cause his bride’s a different color” – I know several fundy churches that refused to go to the Billy Graham crusade DC Talk was playing at specifically because of that.

  19. My first theater experience was Revenge of the Sith. Movies were forbidden when I lived at home and also when I was at my Fundy college. So I didn’t go out of respect for my parents. Couldn’t have cared less about what the school thought as long I didn’t get caught. Anyway, one of my close friends from college (who frequented the theater) made plans for us to see my first movie together after graduation and I had moved out of my parents. I drove about two hours down to where he lived and went with him and his wife and his brother and sister and some friends. It was so awesome! I didn’t move until the lights came up and they humored me since it was my first time. It’s still my habit to try to stay until the lights come up.

    First unapproved music would have been a southern gospel CD of the Kingsmen when I was in high school.

    1. Oh, and as a side note, the fundy college I went to just about backed up to the diner that was used for some of the scenes from ‘The Blob’.

      I really should watch that movie all the way through. I saw parts of it once.

  20. I had two firsts…I count each of them because they were treated differently.

    My first movie was “Herbie Goes Bananas”. I was maybe 5 years old and our next door neighbor’s uncle took all us kids to the movies. My parents actually approved that one for some reason. We were already IFB so I’m not sure the reason. Still, for a 5 year old, it was the best thing ever! I knew it was something we weren’t normally allowed to do.

    Well, that came and went, and it didn’t open any flood gates. It was back to the “no movies” routine until I hit high school.

    Then, one of my friends, who went to our Christian school, but not the church, wanted me to go see “Beauty and the Beast” with her. I thought that sounded good, but I knew I would not be allowed. Whatever rule my parents broke to let me go when I was 5 did not apply when I was 15. So, I told them I was doing something else, and I went to the movies with my friend. Somehow my parents found out and were pretty upset…at first. I think my dad used it as his “out” to start leaving IFB principles behind. Because once I started, this time the flood gates did open, and we all started going to the movies as a family. I remember the first one we went to that was now perfectly acceptable was “Batman Returns”.

    I was just happy that we could just do something normal. We had been allowed to rent movies from the video store for ages, and I always argued that the same principle for the theater should have applied to the store, but…no, fundy logic is not always…logical.

    My sister, however, who had left for HAC before this “sneaking off to the movies” bit, was not amused. She came home one summer to find that all of us were now regularly going to see things at the theater. She actually cried. I rolled my eyes at her (mean, yeah, but I thought she was being very melodramatic).

    Now even she allows her kids to do things we NEVER did, like go trick-or-treating, watching Spongebob Squarepants, seeing movies, etc. So, I guess as a parent even she’s relaxed the IFB standards for her own children.

  21. 4th grade. I was given a pair of pants (gasp!) in a bag of hand-me-downs from another family. My Mother let me wear these pants for gym as school as long as I wore my dress over them. Well….I didn’t wear my dress over them! 😯 And I got caught because I wore them to Rural Bible Mission’s Release-time Bible Classes and a mother who knew my Mom call her πŸ˜₯

  22. didnt grow up fundy, had a mom who was a hippy which influenced my rebellion out of ifb.
    first drink since being out not yet, I want a nice wine though, maybe for a dinner or something
    always had unapproved music

    the first time I ever held hands was two weeks ago

  23. Well “my first” Hollywood movie as they were called was a Woody Allen film entitled “All You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask)” at the ripe old age of 12. :mrgreen: My older brother and his newlywed wife, then freshly emancipated from Fundyland via marriage at age 18 took me.

    Oh, it was also the first time I slept with a girl as well! She was my sister-in-laws little sister, one year younger than me. We all had to stay in a hotel room together. She slept under the covers, I remained on top. πŸ˜‰

  24. Ok, first toke and drink, age 16 when i snuck over to a friends house. First concert age 18(right after i moved out) and it was warped tour! First movie at age 18, tranformers. First kiss at age 15 in the fundy school bathroom. hmmm and I was a hardcore preachers son!

  25. Current age: early 20’s, still in Fundy U., second semester, zero demerits (and I’m very non-Boj)
    First “uncheckable movie”: Only God knows how old I was when I saw any of the 2 dozen or so R-rated films I’ve seen. My parents were fine with it. I have a personal standard against swearing, and I’ve never been affected by all the swearing in movies. Never felt guilty about it.
    First movie in theaters: I have never been, unless you count viewing “Courageous” (Sherwood Pictures, the Fireproof people) in Stratton Hall at Fundy U. I think the circles I’m in would not appreciate my patronage of theaters, which wouldn’t necessarily stop me, but it’s also the money thing. Just wait long enough and then borrow somebody’s DVD.
    First purchase of unapproved music: I don’t buy music; I listen to it on Grooveshark for free. I started here at Fundy U. actually– rock, pop rock (I think that’s what it is), country, whatever specific songs suit my fancy at certain times.
    At Fundy U. we aren’t allowed to use headphones. So I just wait for the long hours of the evenings when my roommates are off playing basketball or in the science lab and then I rock out, quietly, without headphones.
    First uncheckable clothes: I’m too afraid of getting busted here on campus. Never worn shorts in the Dining Common– probably wouldn’t be allowed in to eat since all the Bojes– er, hostess people recognize me. For church services I’ll usually wear a suit. Wednesday nights, a collared shirt and jeans.
    And what makes it really interesting is that here at Fundy U. I’ve started wearing sneakers to church. My buddy going to church with me that first night apparently noticed them, but didn’t say anything until afterward. I don’t see how wearing sneakers would in any way detriment the worship service. (Besides the fact that I was wearing the Fundy U.-prescribed suit and tie, so if that offends your fashion sense, don’t look at my feet!)
    First uncheckable behavior πŸ˜‰ : I’ve grown up in the Fundy world, so I’m well-trained in the don’t-touch, don’t-even-look routine. Never touched a girl, not even to hug my sister. She gets a handshake from me. Hyper-secualize a high-five, these people do.

    1. The Wednesday night thing: no jeans for men here at Fundy U. That’s back at home. Heh. I don’t even go to church Wednesday nights at Fundy U.

  26. first movie in a theater: Save the Last Dance. don’t judge! i was 16, and i went with a (male!) friend, after having dinner together first. i told my mom i was going bowling with a group of friends, and when i got back, had an entire elaborate story about how the night went. she still has no idea.

    first concert: Charlotte Church, but that was parent-approved. first non-approved was Everclear, and i lied about that, too. they figured it out and i was grounded, but that was after the fact so i didn’t care.

    first CD: probably Backstreet Boys? not sure. oddly enough, CD’s of secular music were allowed, but i wasn’t allowed to go to concerts. so my parents knew i had Everclear, although they never listened to it or read the lyrics. they wouldn’t have let me keep it if they had, but oh well…

    first kiss: i got kissed by – no exaggeration – the white version of Steve Urkel. at christian camp, the day before my 16th birthday, outside at night, during a camp-wide game of capture the flag. aaaawkward. next kiss wasn’t till age 19.

    first non-KJV bible: i bought an ESV a few years ago at the Desiring God National Conference. my parents consider me something of a heretic for this. πŸ˜›

    first alcohol: age 20. smirnoff ice, i believe. i had about 3 of them and got pretty tipsy and laughed at everything.

    i grew up fundy (pk here!), but never really bought into it, so i started breaking rules pretty early on. i would go to the library by myself and read books/magazines that my mom wouldn’t let me have, stuff like that. my parents were the type that assumed their perfect kids wouldn’t do anything too terrible (bc of their perfect parenting, of course!), so i got away with a lot just bc they didn’t question my alibis.

  27. I know this post is old, but I just found your site today and found this post and couldn’t resist!

    I will never forget the first time I could buy shorts out of the ‘girls/womens’ section in stores because they were no longer required to reach my knees! Culottes no more!

  28. Sorry I’m so late commenting on all these posts! Just found this site.

    First kiss: not yet. Held hands: not technically. πŸ˜‰ Played footsie under the table in youth group…. Have sat in the back seat of a car with a guy and watched a movie (on the way back to bible college!!!) , just friends tho. Never touched my boyfriend except for leaning close for pics.

    First movie: not yet, but soon! πŸ˜€ I won’t do it while college is in session, but I will one summer! just watch me!

    First tattoo: not soon, but someday. I want a butterfly and the word “believe.”

    The first time I wore a sleeveless shirt in public was while swimming at the beach on my senior trip. The first time not swimming was about three weeks ago to Target. I felt so exposed! πŸ˜• I even wore a sleeveless dress to church! (gasp!)

    First CCM cd: Blessings by Laura Story. Got it from a friend of a friend at Bible college.

    First R-rated movie: JFK

    Nope, ya never forget your first! πŸ™‚

  29. My first was buying and using a NIV bible and then listening to CCM. What a joy to be free!!!!

    Going to a nondenominational church and what a blessing to be free of all those stupid rules! Actually learning from the preaching instead of having a guilt trip every week.

    Still have family living the in the cult and they are finally seeing that I am being blessed by God and that He is using my church to glorify His name.


  30. My first movie was Home Alone 2 — we were visiting family over t-giving break about 300 miles from our church. My mom didn’t want to go (she was a teacher at fundy-school), but us kids were super-excited!! I was 12 in 6th grade.

    i felt like the coolest kid in school! Even though I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone I went!!

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