82 thoughts on “FWOTW: kjv1611.org.uk”

    1. Good point in the hovertext. It’s a real pride thing to be able to use the family symbol. Why would he use so many? Weird, though par for the course for fundies.

      1. HAHA, George, we get it, you’re a joker. Now please put my post where I want it. It’s not supposed to be a reply to anyone.

  1. Wow, I thought that Santa page was all kinds of crazy. Then I looked at the sidebar thing on my browser and noticed I wasn’t even close to halfway down the page. Who would read all that nonsense?

    Nice touch with the quote from the noted Santa Claus expert, Gail Riplinger.

  2. Maybe the man is Scottish (He is pictured with a kilt!) but the extreme KJO’s I have met are obsessed with St. Andrew’s cross, the symbol on the Scottish flag waving in the top corner.

  3. All I have to say is this person needs a hobby.
    I also feel sorry for people named Lucas or Nick.

    My oldest son is named Nick. I found out in high school my mom wanted to name me Nicholas, but my grandma – a fundy preachers wife – said she couldn’t because it was a Catholic name. Being 20, my mom gave in and named me Philip (1 L – because that is how it’s spelled in the Bible). When my wife and were dating, I told her that my first born son would be named Nicholas.

    1. I know a few fundies from my former church who anglicized their Spanish and Italian surnames so they wouldn’t be mistaken for Catholics! 😯 I thought about doing so, but only because my last name translates to “War Fighter,” which is pretty awesome.

    2. “Nicholas” is actually a pretty radical name. The Greek roots (Nike + Laos) mean “victory” and “people” so “Nicholas” translates as “Victory to the People.” “Power to the People” in Greek, basically.

      So, Miranda, you were going to change your name to “Warrior” or “Soldier” or something like that? Not bad!

        1. I thought of that, too. It would be so much fun to spell it to people whenever they’re taking your name, that it’s awfully tempting.

  4. He’s got an article about “Women in Pants,” and he isn’t against it. I’m so surprised, I looked like OMG Cat after reading it.

    1. Apparently he’s in favor of men in kilts, so it would be a little weird to be against women in pants.

    2. Now I’m suspiscious and doubt the guy’s really Scottish. On this side of the pond, they are “trousers”, not pants.

      In the UK “pants” are something else, and god-fearing ladies are expected to wear them. 😯

  5. Like a bad car crash I had to go look at the website.

    He links to Gipp about Easter. The Xmas Spirit is about the pope wearing a red hat with white fur – reference to Santa, I mean Satan. Then the best is should women wear pants, and the dude on the picture is wearing a skirt, I mean a kilt.

    I need to bust out the egg nog (with brandy)!

    1. I know. I tried, but am already miserable with a cold. This site was just getting me so angry and befuddled I said, “Why am I doing this to myself?” I am now saving it for a sunny day, when I have a clear head. I cannot take idiots and cold meds together… πŸ˜• And yes, I would LOVE some cheese with that whine!!! πŸ˜›

    1. Oh, HAHAHAHA! I nearly choked, laughing. PERFECT!!! Same temperaments, I am certain! πŸ˜†

  6. I have got to remember to look at my husband the way she looks at her husband in the picture. Like he’s the answer to all of life’s questions. O come let us adore him…

      1. You mean she doesn’t? She must not recognize your inherent superiority over her simply by virtue (?) of being born male. πŸ™„

        1. I don’t have facial hair anymore. Than won’t work.

          (what is the most interesting thing that has been found in your mustache, anyway?)

    1. Yeah I noticed that. Disgusting. Seems more and more fundies have their pix taken that way, if they bother to include the wife at all. She looks adoringly at him while he looks at the camera. Why don’t they at least have him looking adoringly at her? Oh that’s right, he’s in the place of God, she’s in the place of a slave. πŸ‘Ώ πŸ˜₯

  7. Read some of the Santa Clause rant. Don’t have the time or inclination to read it all. Most of that stuff seemed to be more than a little bit of a stretch. πŸ™„

    And how many rules of webpage design can be broken by one web page. Lots of different fonts, “busy” animated backgrounds that are distracting, way too much crammed into little spaces, making the whole thing too busy … my eyes are doing the loop-de-loop.

  8. The animated warrior is straight from the original DIABLO PC game from 1995! Thank you very much fundies!

  9. He can’t be a fll fundy. He believes in the Gap Theory and in women wearing pants. I hereby revoke his fundy badge.

    1. And he is against faith promise giving.

      More proof that when it comes to fundies my crazy is more crazy than your crazy.

    2. While he’s surely going down the path to liberalism with pants on women, he’s definitely fundy. Dispensational, King James Only, anti-Reformed, etc. By the way, the article, “Questions for those who think the KJV Only are wrong!”, is from one Mike Paulson, a Paul-Only Dispensationalist from South Dakota that I’ve interacted with. Needless to say, even if you answer the questions, he won’t listen.
      Perhaps that’s the true definition of a fundy: being too intrenched in your beliefs and traditions to listen to and consider what and why others believe as they do.

  10. So it seems some of his articles are written by others. A couple of them had the following description of the author (along with a pic that looks very familiar to me):

    My “scholarly credentials” are:
    Tommy H. Heffner Sr.
    V.B.S.G.; H.S.D; K.J.B.B.

    The above abbreviations refer to:
    V.B.S.G. = Vacation Bible School Graduate
    H.S.D. = High School Dropout
    K.J.B.B. = King James Bible Believer

    SFL: being proud of not finishing High School

  11. I like what it says halfway down the main page: “We are fools for Christ’s sake.” I initially read it as “We are fools, for Christ’s sake!” Which may be more accurate.

  12. Be a real man and wear a skirt, I mean kilt (remember no undies for the fundies). I know they wear long johns with locks, but it went with the flow.

      1. Let me know when it’s Fundy No Undy Sunday. I think I’ll show up for that one. There’s no telling what might happen.

        … in more ways than one.

        1. Some Fundy churches have Fundy No Undy Sunday almost every week–especially in the teen department!

  13. Against my better judgment, I read the section titled “God’s Virtuous Woman,” which reminded me of why I actually prefer the fundy men who are unabashed male-supremacists. At least they’re honest about considering women to be weak and inferior. The alternative is patronizing us with BS about how we’re so pure and chaste and delicate, and we need men to guide and protect us. πŸ™„

  14. Maybe “Santa Claus” means “Satan’s Claws”? Like a lion’s “claws”?

    πŸ˜† πŸ˜€

  15. My thoughts:

    1. Interesting that he begins with a warning not to add to the words of God.

    2. Considering the kilts, it was interesting that one of the first verse to pop up said something about loins.

    3. Bearing his reproach and fools for Christ’s sake. Love how they get to ignore any criticisms because of these verses.

    4. Do I really just have to click on a link of a door to get saved?

    5. I didn’t realize the the KJB was the “faith once delivered to the saints”. I thought that was the gospel of Jesus Christ.

    6. Weird emphasis on the blood of Christ with dripping blood gif.

    7. Not completely fundy since they actually encourage people to listen to two entire epistles for themselves. This might lead people to interpret things for themselves 😈

    8. Gap fact ❓

    9. Maybe he can’t find his tartan as a border in Word?

    10. Also weirded out by the picture of her staring at him. 😯

  16. Oh, yeah. Missed the common inconsistency the first pass: “We hate Calvinism! Here’s Jonathan Edwards’ Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God!” Always love that one.

  17. OOOOWWWWWWWCH! That shadowed-letter font is painful to read! But I tried—until I got to the pages for women, which are pink-on-pink, purple-on-pink, and strewn with flowers. Urgh. No.

  18. The Santa rant is complete fundy gold.
    Random bits of random verses (check out that one from Zecchariah about halfway down!)? check.
    Quoting the dictionary? check
    Unimpeachable sources? Context for Scripture? ummm, lemme check on that.

    1. In his Santa rant, which I didn’t know kept going, and going, and going – quotes “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”. Last year during Advent we lit our Advent Wreath during the children’s sermon. I found this cool idea that changed the words to “Jesus Christ is Coming to Town. I sang it to the kids, then had everyone join me after we lit the wreath. During the last line I took my eyes off my piece of paper and started to sing into the mic “Santa Christ …” I was so embarrassed. I thought outlet pastor was going to fall out of her chair laughing. So much for my first solo at church.

  19. Ugh! That font!!! It’s migraine inducing.

    And, awww… let’s stare adoringly at hubby-pubby in the picture.

    Pssst, hey Dude, I know you call it a kilt, but its really a SKIRT and that’s an ABOMINATION!!! HEATHEN!!!!

  20. Reading that my Soph. year of public high school was part of my moving from fundy land.

  21. Well, I think it’s safe to ignore anything said by Terry Watkins (the author of the Santa rant), and I can prove it using his “logic.”
    When I entered his first name into Google, the first two results were for a company that makes women’s cycling apparel, and we all know that the only reason women wear those outfits is to cause men to lust. The next two links are for the Terry College of Business at the University of Georgia – a state run school well know for giving great honor to a dog, thereby trying to turn God backwards. The next four are all about professional athletes, and of course, NONE of them are at all godly people.
    His last name is the same as a company that sells “natural products,” which is obviously a euphemism for new age products. It is also the name of a college of art, design, and film, and we won’t even begin to discuss what THOSE people are like.
    I just don’t understand how a site like that can have such an obvious tool of the devil writing for them.

  22. It strikes me as some weird Scottish haunted house site with blood dripping, doors opening and closing on their own, and that feather writing in the book…it’s like a 1995 nightmare.

  23. Has anyone else here taken the time to read the latters at the end of the Santa Clause rant? Just WOW cannot believe the ignorance of some of the readers of this nonsence!

  24. No true Scotsman would use multiple tartans in a design like this. I think this is just someone pretending to be a Scotsman.

    1. It’s true! For real Scots everywhere…please don’t lump him in with us. Although, I do agree with you Darrell…he is a wee bit odd.

  25. Oh the countless souls that have been lost because of that evil Santa.

    The Santa religion, where the great god Santa gets attention about 2 months out of the year and promptly forgotten about on Dec. 26th.

  26. The family story is tragic – someone swallowed the KJV-Only arguments without question, and then left their church when the leadership disagreed with them. It’s a typical story, sadly.

  27. Well, given that Riplinger’s into anagrams, I’m sure she would approve of the whole anti-Santa rant. I just face-palm and go on with real work. Also, anyone who cites Riplinger as a serious source has instantly told me that they do not care about the truth.

  28. I briefly looked at this late yesterday evening. I decided I had seen it all before, and watched The Doctor and Martha save someone’s life again. It was about as spiritual as the fake Scot ranting.

  29. To be fair, the idea of family tartans is relatively recent (as in the Victorian era; the Scots started wearing kilts in the 1500s). The multiple tartan designs on one website is still tacky, though.

  30. From the Santa Rant page:

    . . .Claus

    Is “Claus” another anagram for “Lucas”?

    It’s no secret “Lucas” and “Lucis” is a new-age “code word” for “Lucifer”.


  31. At least heΒ΄s wearing a kilt – that may save him.

    But she wears a “Prince Charlie” Jacket – NO WAY!!!

    Hermann 😈

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