Haute Couture

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  • Perfect ladylike length!
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  • Comforts include a gentle elastic waistband and roomy side pockets!

And you can get 3 of these beauties for only $21.99!

167 thoughts on “Haute Couture”

  1. Those culottes would not come close to being approved at FBC.

    Their guidline is “Culottes must look like a skirts when viewed both from the front and the back.” Code for “nothing smaller than a parachute is considered godly or modest.”

    Compared to what I was forced to wear, this option is actually quite stylish.

    1. For the 6 to 12 months when MC Hammer made parachute pants cool, how did HAC keep women from wearing them? I would think you could pass them off as a floor length skirt? 🙂

    2. I remember when I went to a youth conference at HAC we were told that you could only know your culottes were acceptable if you took a step and then your culottes took a step behind you.

    3. To be really godly, they’d have to have the “modesty panel” so they look like a skirt from the front. 😀

      Seriously, have you ever seen a girl fall down wearing a a pair of the really baggy ones? Not really very modest. 😳

      1. To be really, really Godly one has to have made these culottes for herself, which sadly I did – many times.

        And yes, I suffered a few embarrassing culotte related accidents. One being that my culottes got stuck in the brakes of my bicycle resulting in my flying over the handlebars and crashing to the pavement. I am sure everyone in the vicinity got quite a good show. 😳

  2. I still secretly want to see Clinton & Stacy do a “What not to Wear” with one of these hard core fundy closets. The men would be amusing, if they did a fundy woman w/ this kind of wardrobe I’m not sure if the fundies or Clinton & Stacy would have their heads explode first.

    1. Oh I have been wishing for that since I started watching the show! I was always taught that if someone could call you clothes sexy, you were being indecent and dressing like a prostitute, and Stacy and Clinton use that word for everything – even a great suit! 🙂 You’re right- there would definitely be some head exploding going on…

    2. I actually saw an episode where the woman had some really rigid clothing restrictions…I can’t remember if she was Orthodox Jewish or what. I know she didn’t wear pants. Stacy and Clinton just worked with what they had.

      1. What Not to Wear has an a female Episcopal priest, a Mormon, and a Mennonite on their show. I’ve yet to see a hardcore Fundamentalist get targeted.

        I remember one time while my sister was in high school, she came home really upset. When I asked, she told me the school was going to take a field trip to a popular amusement park. Not wanting to wear those ghastly culottes or ankle-length dresses or skirts, she had asked the principal if she could wear a pair of jeans. He flat out said no. His reason? They show off the shape of your leg. 😯

    3. It would be the fundy’s head to explode first, because Clinton and Stacy would know they could have a drink at the end of the day to feel better. Sometimes just knowing that makes all the difference.

    1. No, but the size 42 comes with a complementary medieval style winch previously used to mount knights errant upon their trusty steeds, and now employed in setting excessively obese and stylistically challenged females upon their not so trusty feet.

  3. bahahahaha!!!! Thanks, Darrell! I lol’d as soon as this pic loaded! On a side note, because of several recent pregnancies in my family, I was wondering if they made maternity culottes? Great name for a band? The Maternity Culottes?

  4. I never realized how much the culotte “uniform” gives off the cult vibe. Why do they think this type of anti-fashion has to be the defining aspect of a Christian woman’s peculiarity? It’s a tie between this and the long khaki skirt/collared t-shirt combo. Ever see a choral group dressed thusly? I can not run fast enough from my Christian school memories, thanks Darrell!

  5. Darrell, you are wicked. These are not culottes, these are simply baggy shorts. They aren’t culottes unless they have AT LEAST one pleat in front and one in back (as in, box pleats). The more pleats in the culottes, the more spiritual you are. Please find some real culottes for us to buy.

    :p

      1. That is surprisingly cute.

        What I find weird in that picture — and perhaps my old eyes are deceiving me — is the object in her hand. Is that an ear of corn? If not, what is it? If it is, WHY???

        1. Ha! That’s her clutch! That would be one GIANT ear of corn, though. 😀

  6. Neither “sun-kissed tan” nor “juicy raspberry” can be Godly names – they are steeped in wordly meaning. Much like “BJ”. And to always be trying to make some connection with the devil and what have you, they surely blew right over these two colors.

  7. No one, and I mean NO ONE looks good in culottes. Not even remotely close.

    Just prior to going to The Wilds every summer, my mom made me hit the “grandma” section at the local Belk so we could buy appropriate clothing for The Wilds. When I would tell her that I would just rather wear jeans, she’d always come back with, “But you’ll be hot!” True, but I’d have rathered suffered a heat stroke than to be caught dead in culottes. 🙄

    1. “Just prior to going to the Wilds every summer…”

      Never have I seen a more horrific thought expressed so mildly.

      I went to Bill Rice Concentration Camp once. Three years later, when they threatened us with the Wilds as a class trip, we told them that we would rather not have a senior class trip AT ALL than to go to any “christian” “camp.”

      And then, just months later, I went off to Jaw Bones University of my own free will.

      😯

  8. How about these from “Fundamental Beauty”?
    http://bit.ly/pGZy2k

    I remember I used to have culottes with draw strings at the bottom. When I’d leave the house, I’d draw the strings and they’d become pants! My sister also had a skirt with a slit in the front. She put a swatch of cloth in the front slit with velcro telling our mom it was so she could switch out the fabric to match other shirts 🙂 As soon as we got in the car she ripped out the fabric 🙂 Fun times…

  9. Yikes! I started searching “box pleat culottes” and I’ve found a nightmarish treasure trove of “modest” websites where women and girls can dress in sloppy, baggy culottes to make them look completely unappealling and unattractive.

    I like pretty skirts, but culottes – ugh!!!

        1. They make these for TODDLERS?! Please. Keeping my toddler daughter in clothing in general is tough enough as it is. But putting her in these? Now that’s just torture.

        2. I will say I did own and wear culotte slips, but not for culottes; they were much easier to wear than the big, blousy slips that we were supposed to wear with our skirts. Granted, mine had no lace and was quite tight fitting, so it probably wouldn’t have passed for a proper culotte accessory.

  10. Observe the problems inherent in these supposedly “modest” articles of clothing, and judge righteously. Firstly, as other commenters have noted, the model’s toes are revealed by her sandals in a “flirtatious” manner. Any suggestion of flirting by clothing is questionable and could lead to impure thoughts, and is therefore to be shunned.

    Secondly, the bottoms of the model’s knees are revealed by these culottes. If this is the case while she is _standing_, her knees will most certainly be visible while she is sitting. This is assuredly far too immodest for reasons that cannot be discussed as they will bring impure thoughts to the minds of others.

    Finally, the stretch waistband presents a conundrum. Though culottes must rest securely on a women’s midsection in order to avoid unmentionable occurrences, the construction (i.e., the “stretchiness”) necessary for that security accentuates the wearer’s physical appearance. Ideally the model would _not_ tuck in her shirt so as not to draw attention to her waistline. Wearers of stretch-waistband culottes would do righteously to remember this.

    (I neeeevveerrrr had to wear culottes… :lol:)

  11. It is amazing how many of us ‘true blue’ EX fundies know, right away, that these are NOT the real thing. These look like those old lady clothes sold in the Sunday coupon section of the paper. The real things must be purchased at an authentic ifb store/site. There’s not one KJV Bible verse on that page to prove it is the real deal. Her toes are way too sexy (Where are her ankle socks and tennis shoes?) and I believe she may have a bit of a tan. This woman truly doesn’t meet ifb standards. As one of my fundy family members told me recently, “You should never be able to tell that there’s a slit in a real culotte.” She asked me to change into a skirt to go play volleyball at an ifb church gym. Btw, my sons had to change out of their sinful knee-length shorts to attend a family member’s baseball game, too. Oh, wretched sinners that we are.

  12. As a previous poster stated. . .no one looks good in culottes. I sure did not. I hated them. As a child,I used to hide my worst-looking pairs in hopes of never having to wear them.

    1. Two disastrous marriages followed by two divorces…Joann was viewed by her family as a lost cause. But when her mom found out Joann had bought COLORED UNDERWEAR the spit really hit the fan! :mrgreen:

      1. So true. I was told as a younger girl that only “bad women” wore colored underwear. Fortunately my mom corrected this false teaching for me before I threw out every piece of underwear I owned. At age 5.

        1. Some years ago I was at the mall (that decadent world of sin) and I passed Victoria’s Secret. There was a woman standing staring into the window at the mannequins dressed in iridescent satin bra and pantie sets in ruby red, sapphire blue, emerald green, etc. The woman (seventy if she was a day) was trembling, absolutely trembling. I thought “She’s thinking about buying her first colored undies!” I wanted to whisper to her “Go for it, lady. You only live once.” but I remembered how even that might have spooked me my first time.

        2. @Alexis. She might have been trembling in rage that they had such things on publc display! She would not, however, go inside to complain; someone from her church might be watching and see her go inside. Appearance of evil, y’know. 😈

        3. George… I corrected myself once with the word “public” but you fouled up that correction for me, didn’t you? At least the original correction didn’t stand… 😳

  13. This is the reason that I went for years with out wearing skirts or dresses. It is so freeing to have the choice of what I want to wear instead of someone else making the choice for me. Some of the things that fundies inflict are obnoxious. I would love to challenge any fundy male to walk around in our place for a month just to get an idea of what they put us through. Of course that’s wishful thinking on my part – never will happen in my lifetime!!!

    1. I’m the same way. At my current church, it’s perfectly acceptable to wear pants to any church service and I do. I’ve been told (by fundy family) that I’m acting immature by wearing pants “just because I can,” but I’m trying to wipe away the memories. Men enforced ridiculous dress codes on us girls “just because they could.”

      1. @Kaje, your family is using the word “immature” because they probably think you secretly still feel wearing pants is wrong and you’re doing something wrong on purpose. My family still convinces themselves that I’m IFB inside and I just choked down all my beliefs to be able to marry a non-fundy. Yeah…that’s it. 😐

        1. The odd thing is, the person who does it the most wears pants *everywhere* except for church (I guess I should have stated that it’s a woman lol) – I’ve never seen her in a skirt outside of church, but for some reason, wearing dress pants to church is forbidden in her world. I don’t get it at all. We recently left this certain family member’s church and this past winter when it was below freezing, I had to hide from her at church when I wore pants just to retain feeling in my legs.

        2. Kaje – not that I think your family member should be saying anything to you about it – but I DO get the “pants are ok everywhere except for church” thing – because that’s how I was raised (in Fundy-adjacent as I like to think about it when reading here… there were plenty of jumpers, jean skirts and socks and keds tennis shoes to make a lot of this site ring true)

          To this day I have a very hard time wearing pants to a Sunday morning church service (did get over it and started wearing pants to Sunday night church back in my teens)

    2. A male who walks around in women’s clothes for a month is probably not a Fundy.

      On second thought, he probably is a Fundy who’s out of town for the month, and indulging in his personal kink.

      And a male who wears bandaids on his chest so he won’t give women “impure thoughts” is … uh … just weird. (But so is his female coutnerpart.)

        1. Ask I Am His Beloved for the scoop on this. I gather she lived through it. 😕

        2. Oh boy..Im called out on Band-aids.
          So back in the day at HAC a certain well known dorm super who was rather well endowed enforced the Bandaid rule. Woman were told to strategically place bandaids over a certain “elevated” part of the breast to keep their “parts” from showing through a blouse. ( Especially on cold days on the bus route.) 😯
          It’s true, I promise.

        3. Rob,
          You wouldn’t be saying that if you were a woman that was made to wear them. The only way to extract the bandaids without causing major damage was a firm and quick pull, followed by a yelp.
          Not fun.
          I swear instead of water boarding we should be looking into bandaids on nipple pulling..
          Did I just say the “n” word! ruh roh! 😳

        4. I just cant imagine how brain dead you would have to be to invent and enforce something like that!

        5. I only heard rumors of bandaids while at HAC.

          How would the bandaid rule be enforced? By a special dress check?

          My mind just went to the gutter.

        6. How would the bandaid rule be enforced?

          Have them stand in front of an air conditioner and if the um.. the uh…. if the projection is square then they pass… if not then they must go to the infirmary to be properly titted. eh I mean fitted. 😳

        1. One of the few things Jack Hyles and I agree on.

          Women CAN wear pants (happens all the time, in fact), and men can wear dresses.
          Fine with me either way.

        2. Hmmm, I’m fine with Gerard Butler or Ewan McGregor donning a kilt. Dare I say sexy?

        3. You might be thinking of J. Edgar Hoover, 👿 who was rumored to be a cross-dresser, though the evidence is fuzzy. He was more than close friends with his associate Clyde Tolson, but insisted he was not, repeat NOT homosexual. 😉

        4. Yes! That’s the one. I was thinking Hoover but then all I could think of was Herbert. I knew that wasn’t right.

    3. I still have the hardest time wearing skirts and dresses. I know that normal people where them not just Fundys. But I still battle with feeling frumpy (no matter how cute the outfit is) and conspicuous when I try to wear a skirt or dress. *sigh* Maybe someday I’ll get over it but right now I’m perfectly okay with my jeans. lol

      1. I’ve been out for twenty years and still have a hard time wearing a dress. There is one dress and one skirt in my entire closet. My pastor asked me to speak in church for Mother’s day and I felt I had to wear a dress (you can never truly drop the fundy in you). My pastor made a joke when introducing me about the end must be here — Tena’s in a dress.

    4. I mentioned to my dad once that he should hang his legs out in a pair of culottes just one day during the winter so he could understand what my mom was going through – wearing culottes in a cold warehouse. He said that women’s legs were made differently and it was in the Bible. 🙄 I asked him for a chapter and verse. Silence. Several days later he said it wasn’t in the Bible but in health books. I asked him to see one of these books. 8 years later and I’m still waiting to see it!

      1. Personal observation here, but women do tend to have larger calves than men, and their legs tend to “x” out at the knees because of the wider hip width. I can’t imagine why that would affect how they’d experience cold (or why someone would think it would), though.

  14. This is just a guess, but I’m sure that the TRUE BELIEVERS out there would never buy their culottes when they can SEW them at home. 🙄

  15. These cullottes do not equal seriously hard core fundy approved clothing. In order to be modest in godly proportion, one must wear cullottes that have been sewn by one’s mother and include a modesty flap on each side and extend BELOW the knee. The modesty flap must be sewn into the side seams on one side in front and back, and meet at the other side seems. The tailored to fit cullottes should appear to be a skirt from every angle. Also gauchos were not approved because they looked too much like pants. (Try wearing those to PE class or better yet for sunbathing or swimming.) 😯 To complement the ensemble, one must wear “bobby” socks and tennis shoes.

    I’m curious to know who else has sported culottes w/the modesty flap.

    In the mid 80s, it was also considered quite fashionable to wear LEG WARMERS w/cullottes. I was a mere child, and have to admit that I wore leg warmers w/a skirt but not cullottes.

    When I was a teenager, my mom loosened up the standards a little and sewed us cullottes that did not include the modesty flap, but still had enough material to get tangled in when trying to walk. Also, we could not wear these cullottes at church or school events.

    My sister and I had a cullotte-burning party when she graduated high school and I graduated PCC. She joined the AirForce, and BDUs did not have a cullotte option.

  16. So thankful I wasn’t forced to wear things like that! I had one pair when I went to the Wilds for the first time. After that throughout high school I just wore long shorts, usually men’s gym shorts with a draw string. Buy a large, tighten the waist, & wear them low on the waist with a long t-shirt. But my church & school wasn’t hard-core & didn’t require they come to the bottom of the knees.

  17. “Soft polyester is wrinkle-free, and easiest machine care” – It ain’t fundy if you don’t have to starch ‘n iron it! If it’s “easy-care” the woman isn’t properly atoning for original sin!

  18. It looks like it’s straight out of an early 1980’s Good Housekeeping magazine Ad. Proof of what my fundy mom believes and lives by, “most fashion isn’t bad, as long as you wear it 10 or 20 years after everyone else.” Rules that ruined chances of social success in High School.

  19. I have to admit I was being judgmental at the 4th of July concert. There was a whole group of people wearing fundy clothes, from the men with their polo shirts tucked into their khakis to the girls with t-shirts and culottes. I had to wonder who in the world ever thought a girl could look neat and desirable in such an outfit. (One of the girls even had a t-shirt with “I ♥ BJU” on it. I figured they all went to the same church.)

    All the fundy women stuck out like sore thumbs.

    1. I did it at Target last month. I haven’t seen culottes on someone out in the public … since ever. But I did last month. The mothers had on the white keds with the ankle-length denim skirts. The only daughter present had on culottes. I judged. I really did judge.

    2. But you’re not supposed to look desirable! If some man might consider desiring you, he’s supposed to avoid you, lest you lead him to lust. Thus those ghastly culottes, closed-toed shoes and no mixed bathing.

      He’s supposed to marry someone who doesn’t arouse him? And what a happy, godly marriage that is going to be!

      1. That reminds me of a conversation I had years ago with a certain woman (who wasn’t a Fundy):

        She: I don’t think it’s a good idea to go out with friends. It might spoil the friendship.

        I: So you just date people you don’t like very much?

        She: Uh … Yeah.

        I: What a good idea.

    3. It really does take it beyond modesty and into bizarro world. I just hate to see that missionaries have imported it to people were I live. Strange how coming out of Fundyland can make you judgemental in a different way. Confession, I’m guilty of it too. Aren’t you glad for absolution! 😀

  20. OK, I hate and detest culottes, and think they were invented by a man who had a deap-seated and virulent hatred of women.

    However, those in the picture wouldn’t be entirely awful if they were worn kind of like that. Instead, in most cases they’ll be accompanied by tennis shoes and socks. And they’ll be longer than pictured.

    Culottes are the most unflattering article of clothing to ever disgrace the female form, and people who wear them usually go the distance in making them even uglier and more unflattering. 🙁

    1. The ones in the picture aren’t true fundy culottes anyway. They still show a somewhat human figure, and are of the proper size for the wearer. Fundy culottes have to be that length that doesn’t look good on anyone (mid-calf), and about 3 sizes too big. The elastic waist is a must, though, since a normal button closure is also found on jeans, and we all know they pertaineth to a man.

    2. The reason culottes look so bad on women is that they were designed to be worn by men.

      Say it with me, now:

      “Culottes are MEN’S APPAREL!”

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culottes

      Men also wore clothes that look remarkably like skirts and dresses for as far back as we have recorded history.

      https://www.google.com/search?q=ancient+clothing&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=caCkUYvxB7Gw0AHc_IC4Ag&ved=0CEAQsAQ&biw=1264&bih=833

      The only thing for a woman who wishes to be godly, then, is to go through life buck nekkid.

  21. Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t BJU ok with pants on women? Absolutely every single female BJU grad I know wears pants, even pastor’s wives.

    1. Yes – at BJU, girls can wear pants off campus, to sports games and anything back-campus. Culotte wearers are definitely in the minority.

  22. I had two pair of culottes in exactly this style when I was in high school–one in pinstripe pink, and a matching pair in pinstripe blue. I wore them for years. Comfortable, yes. Modest–not really.

  23. They would be okay if they were in a natural fabric, say cotton, maybe a denim option; get rid of the more “out there” colors, like the violet and the berry, maybe add a light blue; make them a drawstring waist, or maybe a normal button and zipper; and for goodness sakes, make them quite a bit tighter!!! Oh, wait, I think I just described capris. :mrgreen:

    I’m glad I wasn’t raised fundy.

    1. I don’t think even fundy preachers dare preach against men in kilts. I think they might be afraid some angry, burly Scotsman might go all William Wallace on ’em.

      1. My sister and brother in law were at my daughter’s wedding, and my bil wore his kilt and the trimmings (he’s Scottish). The photographer was a smart-mouth from our former fundy church. When he was ready for the family pictures, he called my brother in law over by yelling across the church, “You, in the dress, get over here.” My six-foot 275 – pound brother in law looked straight at him and said, “Say that again, mate, and I’ll throw you through the wall.”

  24. *twitch*
    Sadly, my first thought was “Wish I could have worn those!” Alas, homemade, ill-fitted, dark colors only is what I wore for years, with shapeless shirts, white ankle socks and sneakers of course. And I wonder why I don’t have much fashion sense 😳

  25. I still blame culottes (being forced to wear them) for my paranoia about how I look. I remember being laughed at most of my growing up years because I stuck out like a sore thumb. I mean, honestly, who wears culottes in Wisconsin in the winter when it’s -10 outside? Oh, wait a FUNDY! What about makes that any sense. Forcing a girl to expose her bare legs in temperatures that will give you frostbite?

    1. Oh, Jebus, you had to wear those in the real winter? (I live north of the border, I understand. Not the culotte wearing part, though) :mrgreen:

    2. My PUBLIC school required skirts on girls untill I was a sophmore. Nestled in the Cascade Mountains, three feet of snow was the norm. I remember lots of girls in culottes.

      1. My generation girls worse skirts to school in all weather (maybe with leggings underneath out of doors), but dresses, yes. Until my senior year of high school (I graduated in 1971.)

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