137 thoughts on “Fundy Sex Week Day 3 Bonus: Spring Fever”

    1. Would someone please give me the link to whatever blog post the references are about regarding this “Hyles Mask?” It’s obviously humorous and I can’t have fun not knowing what the joke is about.

      1. It’s in the comments section of Fundy Sex Week Day 2:Being on top. Warning, once seen you can never unsee it!

  1. Second poster! I have spring fever year round. No wonder they kicked me out of that place! :o)

        1. We could speculate on why, and closest to the truth wins a butt cushion.

          Speculation #1: a Christian fish tattoo was found on your stomach when you lifted your hands in praise during Chapel. You were dismissed for raising your hands in chapel to worship God.

      1. Gee, I was gonna say security guard.

        It’s hard to top comparisons to the East German secret police.

  2. first? We’ll see after I actually post this comment. A friend of mine went to PCC. Guys and gals get to attend separate beaches. One year, someone in the administration noticed that there was this one beach that didn’t have a whole lot of women on it to tempt the guys, so that became the new “approved” beach for the Y-chromes. My friend quickly realized why were weren’t many women and complained to the administration. They didn’t believe him and nearly punished him. A few weeks later, the beach was suddenly off-limits.

    1. The guys’ beach in Navarro was known as a gay beach. In my seven years at PCC, I never heard of a change in beaches occurred for the men. Women did frequent that beach, but if you spoke with them and caught, trouble was upon you.

      1. I was throwing the football around with about 20 dudes in the water when this really hot chick came over and started splashing about 30 feet away. I swam over and said hi and we actually had a really great time together, if a bit “random”. I never got turned in.

      2. hmmm…this might explain something I have wondered about for a long time…

  3. Presbygirl – you want Stasi? Someone I know changed into Jeans when they got to the airport to go home for the summer. There was someone there from PCC watching out for them, caught them and threatened to not let them back in the next year if they didn’t change back into their skirts. They also staff their “chaperones” at all the local shopping areas, particular wal-mart, to monitor the movements of students.

    Then there’s shadowing – which is what happens if someone breaks enough rules – the person is “shadowed” by one of their people and isn’t allowed to interact with any of the students.

    1. Dude, you do know that a large chunk of the people here actually went to PCC. So they have first-hand knowledge of this…

      1. Didn’t realize that… I spent some time in a fundy (independent) Presbyterian church (don’t try to figure that one out…) and they generally sent their kids to PCC where they were taught that all the Calvinistic / Reformed teaching they received their whole life was from the pits of hell.

        1. I get how Presbys can be fundies, but how the heck can a Presby church be independent? Presbyterian polity is, by definition, not independent! ❓

      2. but not all of us, and despite the numbers of stories I’ve heard, I hadn’t heard this one…

    2. Dang! You would think that the Administration would have better things to do, like hit up alumni for money instead of following students around looking for clothing violations.

      Are the students covered under the Geneva Convention?

      1. They’ve lightened up a lot of rules but the basic philosophy of distrust is still the same.

        1. “Basic philosophy of distrust.” That’s it. Thousands of words, websites, newsletters, all tried to explain… but you captured it in four words. This is the bedrock that everything they do is built on.

  4. Haha…this is classic! What the heck is a “double tanktop.” Sounds rather tempting!

      1. That’s probably about right. You know, the trend where you take two tanks of different colors and pair them together…

      2. Man, Darrell, are you desperate for more readers, or what?
        Now you’re putting color porn on the SFL site!
        Before I gasped and covered my eyes, I actually saw part of that woman’s shoulders!
        I think she may have jeans on, too!

        I am shocked! Shocked, I tell you! Shocked!

  5. I hear ya Chris. While I was at Fundy U I was turned in for wearing pants which was my work uniform. However, since I was not at work when seen wearing the pants, I had made a stop on the way home for something I needed somewhere, I was “warned” to only wear my pants at work and then go straight home! :roll

    I think BJU calls it Spiritual Probabtion for “shadowing” at PCC.

    Is Stratton(a BJU graduate and former faculty member still at PCC)?

      1. Dick Stratton WAS at Clearwater. He recently resigned his position there, but I don’t think it was for hanky-panky. Too bad, really, for Clearwater – I understand he and his wife were good for the school.

        1. Stratton left simply because his 10-year contract with the school had run out and he wanted to move on to different things.

      2. Thanks JoeR! Wrong FL Fundy school. Clearwater was supposed to be way “cooler” than Bob Jones, right? I had just heard that Stratton was supposed to be trying to make it like BJU but maybe not.

  6. feel free to ask them to move closer to the Commons so you can keep an eye on them.

    I’m definitely getting a lot of good mental distant from this atmosphere because the first thing that it occurred to me to say, if I were being asked that, was “Leave me the hell alone!”

    And aren’t internal memoranda some of the most revealing documents???

  7. I can’t believe you all haters on here. Several of studies have clearly shown that the young are not be trustable in the presents of the other gender. I am so glad these GODLY and CARING ministers of faith go to such great lengths to protect these hormone-riddled adolesence from falling into SIN and PERVERSION. If it wasn’t for the hard work of these special watchers, no one on campus could pillow they’re head at night with a CLEAN CONSCIOUS.

    1. That reminds me: I realize that some Southerners may pronounce “grill” with two syllables, but does PCC actually think the word is correctly spelled with an “e” at the end?

      1. They’re really into using the extra “e” – they named the newer auditorium the “Crowne Centre”.

      2. It makes it sound french, thus they can charge more for the snacks served there.

    2. Man if they’re gonna have sex, they’re gonna have sex. Prolly not right in the middle of the commons either. Just leave people the heck alone! You do know that 4 years later when they’re released, they can go out and do things *gasp* without supervision?! LAWD HAVE MASSY! They gonna be have babies like rabbits! Cause we all know that man doesn’t have any selfcontrol whatsoever. http://www.stufffundieslike.com/2011/04/guest-post-the-fence-vs-the-ambulance/

      1. The trick is not to release them, EVER. at least the wimmenfolk, gotta keep ’em under that good ol’ thumb of the Man-O-Gid, (and often more than just the thumb). 😑

    3. I get your sarcasm about the whole thing, Fundystan. It’s hard to help young adults prepare for life without any freedom of thought whatsoever. Just curious, is your nickname making vague references to Afghanistan and burquas and Sharia law?

  8. In Springtime at my Baptist School, BJU affiliated, all the girls would chase the boys round the playground in the name of Spring Fever. Presumably because someone from a more lenient home had seen “Bambi”. I wasn’t allowed to watch Bambi. πŸ˜₯

  9. With your permission, Darrell, I am going to post this on my fb. I have a few fundy friends on fb, so that should make things interesting. 😈 πŸ™‚

  10. Just how many chaperones does PCC employ, anyway?

    My church-affiliated undergraduate school had zero.

    1. It usually fell to unfortunate GA’s and some junior faculty members to do this.

      They were supported by an army of student Floor Leaders and Residence Assistants.

      1. As a floorleader my senior year at PCC, I was asked to be a chaperone for the commons/bookstore/Palms Grille area in the afternoons. I hated it and was yelled at by one of the vp’s (I forget his name) for not walking through the Palms Grille enough. He also warned me about “Strategically placed” book bags in there.

    2. Employ implies some kind of remuneration, heck the slaves at Abecka barely get paid.

      1. I believe the proper response here would be the proverb “you get what you pay for” which might be true in the ca$e of your example, but not for tho$e who choo$e to purcha$e their $chool book$ from a beka

    3. Are you sure you were “supervising” adults and not four year olds? πŸ‘Ώ
      Please explain to me how this is NOT cult behavior.

  11. So when, if ever, do the students become adults? With all the rights and privleges pertaining thereunto? Do they still have nap time? Maybe get a cookie if they are good little boys and girls?

    cult, cult, cult, cult, cult, cult, cult, cult, cult, cult, cult, cult……

    1. Once a child of Gid, always a child of Gid. Unless you become a man of Gid.

      1. That may be so, but you are still of child of the man of Gid’s wife and will continue to be treated as such. Doesn’t matter if you are the principal of the fundy “school”, you still come under her jurisdiction.

    2. The answer to that we were NEVER treated like adults. Unless you somehow managed to one day become one of the all-powerful administration (but you have to be in total agreement with them on EVERYTHING before you can get anywhere near that position). No one, from the 17-year-old freshmen to the 60+ year old staff/faculty, was free of their control. Even if you were on staff and you didn’t live on campus, there was a list of things you couldn’t do or wear, even on your own time. That level of control was why I never considered staying on staff after I got my masters.

      Horton and his immediate underlings are under the delusion that they have a right to dictate the “convictions” of everyone who works or goes to school there, even in their personal home lives, because we weren’t mature enough to make our own decisions. πŸ™„

  12. INGSOC
    2.The Chaperone staff is part of the Fundie social stratum much like what we find in George Orwell’s, Nineteen Eighty-Four. The Governance which controls FU is split into two parts: the Inner Party (Chaperones)and the Outer Party (students). Chaperones work the FU’s administrative jobs; they are the middle class, whose β€œmembers are allowed no vices”, in order to sharpen their disdain for any one or anything that looks like it might possibly be on the verge of pleasure or enjoyment.
    The Students are the citizens most spied upon, via telescreens and Chaperone surveillance. This is because, according to history, the Student class is the most dangerous; they are the ones to incite revolution, the one thing FU does not want. They go soul winning in low rent housing districts, hand out tracts in crowded subways as transportation depots, generally have poorer food and drink because they are under paid (given they are expected to suffer for their faith during the early years in ministry). Finally the Student class once they graduate and are married are to live under the training they recieved from the Chaperones and should continue to deny themselves sex for any other purpose than having children within marriage, and are expected to look at it as a duty, rather than pleasure.

    *modified from paragraph 2 of Ingsoc’s social class system found here: http://www.absoluteastronomy.com/topics/Ingsoc

    1. dangerous crimethink Don, you are not supposed to discuss the principles of INGSOC with such clear and objective language

  13. I find it incredible that any institution of higher learning has enough money in their budget to pay staff members to monitor student behavior to the extent described here. Good gracious – reading this is akin to reading accounts of governmental monitoring under Mao in China or under Hitler in Germany. Staking out airports to catch a student who prematurely changes into jeans? Incredible!

    1. “I find it incredible that any institution of higher learning has enough money in their budget to pay staff members to monitor student behavior to the extent described here.”

      Paid? As in paid extra? Surely you jest! When I was a GA at BJU (and when I was on faculty) we were just assigned chaperoning duties and were expected to do them as part of our “ministry.” But with me, they got what they “paid” for. I just did the time and ignored any of the innocuous flirting I saw. Which I would have done if they had paid me too…

      1. Not only did I ignore the innocuous flirting (eg anything that wouldn’t get me in trouble if seen by a higher-up…and even some things that might have as long as they got the hint when I gave the “yeah, you might want to be more subtle” look), I participated in flirting while on the job. The only awesome chalking job I had was chalking the broadcasting labs because I could do homework and basically ignore the kids in the labs. They could seriously have been doing anything in there. Haha

    2. Who said anything about paying them to do it? Don’t you realize that this is a ministry and one should not begrudge any time one might miss from his family or from necessary preparations to do the work they pay one to do to help insure that every student can “pillow their head with a clear conscience” each night???

    3. At Fundy U, the assignments came out at the beginning of each semester, and they were merely alphabetized and assigned sequentially to the slots available. So me being in the middle of the alphabet meant I had a lot of late fall assignments (which, in G-Vegas, is one of two beautiful months out of the year) and late spring assignments, when I’d rather be downtown than on campus. My last four semesters working there I offered a flat rate of $20 to anyone who would take my assignment with the understanding that I was buying their help, not just swapping shifts. Since they were all starving college people, my assignments were never on the market long.

      Shortly before being asked to show myself out the door before there was any trouble, and while I was working in the Web Tech department, I started a side project to create a “Chap Swap” webapp. It was going to be the Craigslist of Chaperoning assignments. People could log in, post whether they were looking to cash out (like me), swap shifts, or earn money by taking shifts from people like me. And I’d take a percentage of any cash-outs. πŸ˜€ Sadly, though, I left before I was able to complete the work.

      So if there’s any students or GAs or whatever at Fundy U reading this…the files should still be on the dev sever under my user profile…just ask one of the younger ops guys for access. Carry on my dream… πŸ˜‰

  14. At Crown they had an off-campus dress code for guys too. No men were allowed to wear jeans off-campus. I ran into a staff lackey once while I was violating this rule. He laughed about it and said “they did not pay him enough to enforce that stupid rule” (his words).

    What was weird is that girls were allowed to wear jean skirts off-campus. Guys were not even allowed to wear jeans to the dining hall but girls could wear denim there. Strange rule.

    1. You went to Crown? My old pastor’s son and his wife went there. During his time as the assistant pastor (to his dad) he cheated on his wife and it was reported to be her fault… πŸ™„

      1. According to reliable sources, Hyles-Anderson College and First Baptist Church of Hammond teach that if a husband cheats, it’s always his wife’s fault.*

        I considered telling this theory to my wife, but decided I’d rather remain married for a while longer instead.

        *(Maybe because she refused to wear the Jack Hyles mask in bed?)

        1. The dogs Jack and Dave Hyles both practiced that idea. (Apologies to any canines who may be reading this blog)

  15. “I had no idea that young fundies rutted in the spring like the wee free wild things do.”

    SFL destroys yet another innocent keyboard!

  16. That memo is ridiculous, and the primary reason that I was not interested in dating someone at PCC. What a bunch of self-righteous prudes! Thought the Spring Fever concept may explain the day-after-graduation weddings.

  17. The chaperones have to walk through their areas “every few minutes”? I hope they have it timed just right– only a minute or two longer and the female students in question would have to be counted as two people. πŸ˜†

    Why Fundy U’s can’t grasp the concept that virtue isn’t necessarily formed by rules constricting behavior, ridiculous or otherwise, is beyond me.

    1. I get the impression that an awful lot of fundamentalists DO think that constant monitoring is the only way to have ‘virtuous’ behavior. I’ve had a few (loonies) in internet arguments proudly inform me with apparent sincerity that if they didn’t believe Jesus was watching their every move, they’d be on a three-state rape-and-murder spree at that very moment.


      Some people just can’t be good on their own, and when they get to be in charge, they naturally assume everyone else is as sociopathic as they are.

    2. We had a neighbor renting a house near us for a while from Saudi Arabia. We were talking to him about the charitable things he would do on Eid, and later he was talking about Islam, saying that in his country neighbors all keep their eyes out on one another to make sure no one is transgressing any of the rules of Islam. That to me couldn’t be a better description of human bondage.
      I don’t think anyone is oblivious enough to think that rules aren’t sometimes helpful, but a person’s heart can’t be governed by rules, and I think rules should suit their age group. Anyone ever seen “Dead Poet’s Society?” I sometimes wanted to stand up during Mrs. Horton’s freshman Beautitudes Sunday School (I love the beatitudes, but never felt like she really identified, but maybe she did. I don’t know the woman, just the things she did.) and talk about the history of this country and the world, and the people who made a difference for Jesus Christ were often those raised in a culture of freedom of thought, taught logic, and knew a secret that sometimes loving Jesus and being a good Christian means (in the most respectful and well-though way one is capable of) breaking the rules and not being quiet about it, either.
      My sister only made it a year there, and spent time in the Dean’s office trying to express these things to them. They didn’t get it, and after she completed that year she went to a real college.

  18. Way to treat a bunch of adults like junior high students. πŸ™„ Why, WHY would anyone in their right mind want to go to a place like that? Oh yeah…I wanted to go once. Glad I got over it. πŸ˜›

    1. That’s kind of my line of thinking. If the U.S. government deems one adult enough at 18 to be drafted into the military, capable of making decision of who to vote for, who to marry, and even be tried as an adult, they can be trusted to be alone with the opposite sex, and own up to their own actions.

        1. …but at the age of 21, you can order an alcoholic drink, go to PCC and have to deal with the memo above??

      1. @Charlene,

        They don’t allow 32-year-old adults to make their own life choices, either. Or 60-year-olds, for that matter.

        When I worked there, the PCC staff handbook was more strict than the student handbook. My wife, who did not work for PCC, was not technically allowed to wear pants in her own home. Had we stayed, they would have claimed authority over what my daughter could wear (beginning at age 12), where she could attend school (PCS), where she could work (PCC), and where she could go to college (PCC). Staff couples had to get permission to buy a house, and I believe you needed permission to adopt a child.

        A PDF of the handbook was posted around here somewhere a while back. The section toward the end about personal behavior requirements and “testimony” may be enlightening.

        1. I know how this works: It is couched in spiritual terms. “These little requirements won’t mean a thing to someone who is totally sold out for gid.”

          I always thought the staff lackeys in Lancaster had it bad too.

  19. Is PCC having any of the enrollment issues that BJ is? I think BJ was around 1200 incoming freshman 3 years ago and this fall is projected to be in the 600’s. So they’re freaking out. A lot of talk about the “Remnant” now, and how they’re suffering for Jesus. Not a lot about asking $80,000 for a non-accredited degree and four years of being treatd like you’re 8 years old.

    1. People in management there are friends of ours, and I was recently told most of the push behind PCC’s deciding to go for accreditation was because they’re not making enough money now even with the low wages they pay their employees, so they need accreditation to get enrollment up. To me, wanting to make money is nothing to be ashamed of, but many there seem to think it’s a shameful thing. PCC is a business, short and simple, and always has been. It could be a great ministry as admin likes to call it, but only when the people making the rules love the students’ hearts more than they hate “any appearance of evil” (which means whatever you want it to depending on who you’re talking to).

  20. I went to a Southern Baptist university, Cal Baptist, there was a female dorm building and a male one. One night a week, from 5-7pm, men were actually allowed in the girls building to visit. However, ever room door MUST be propped open, even if you were alone or not there, and chaperones walked without stopping back and forth, peering into each room. If you got their timing down just right, you would have about a 2 minute window in which to “make things happen.”

    1. We had something similar at Biola… only we had co-ed dorms with different floors for girls and different floors for guys. Every Wednesday and Friday from 6-11pm and every Saturday & Sunday from 2-11 were “open house” hours where members of each gender could visit each others floors and/or dorm rooms. The one rule, really, was that we either had to keep the door open or the window blinds open. No one patrolled the hallways or rooms, though; they trusted us to keep each other accountable.

      1. Sounds like BIOLA was much more relaxed than Cal Baptist. I was often amazed to visit female friends at Azusa Pacific where I could enter their dorms any time without restriction. That blew my mind as a young Christian undergrad.

        1. I went to Flagler College in St. Augustine, FL. It’s a private liberal arts school, not affiliated with any church, not Christian at all, yet we had NO inter dorm visitation ever. We were also a dry campus. The only day guys were allowed in the girls dorm was on move in day and move out day. Oh, and here’s the kicker, when I went to school there in the late 90’s the girls had no A/C, but the guys building did. They at least updated the original building and the girls aren’t forced to live in FL without A/C.

        2. @Mike- I found Biola to be very relaxed (compared to the fundy college some of my friends went to, Biola was downright heathen & liberal and not even considered Christian by some of them)

    2. Same thing at Houghton. RAs were supposed to patrol their floor every half hour, but some didn’t bother.

      We had a very fundy gentleman hired as administrator at our not-quite-so-fundy Christian high school. He removed the Houghton literature I placed for the kids to look at and replaced it with PCC stuff. I took it to the board, where he was shocked to discover that I, the pastor, and the chairperson of the school board were all Houghton grads. He lost that battle. He was also fired at the end of that school year. He was really weird.

  21. Man if I had saved all those crazy memos I could have started my own blog on them.

    I got the same feeling when I see traffic cams. Did some invisible person just catch me for something I wasn’t aware that I did and turn me in?

    1. The sad thing is that they refuse to allow the same degree of freedom to their staff and students that they insist that the government give them–and at the same time will use the rules/laws of government to their own advantage and against their staff and students when it suits their purposes.

  22. My brother was spotted entering a movie theatre while attending a fundy school and was given his walking papers. He later attained his doctorate (at a normal institution).

    I was once interviewed to teach math at a Christian high school. It wasn’t so much that the pay offered was only about half of what public high schools were offering ($16K). But they had this long agenda that influenced the way that science and history would be taught. When I responded that math was math, and that I did not see how one’s interpretation of those subjects would influence teaching my subject, they were quite adamant that they intended theor philosophy to extend to all areas of the curriculum.

    1. This reminds me of the old joke that teachers will be required to teach that pi = 3, because irrational numbers are not Biblical.

      Biblical math, after all, makes about as much sense as Biblical science.

      That school’s leaders, however, don’t seem to have realized it was a joke.

  23. This makes me so very happy that Judson did not make us have chaperones, force us to wear skirts, and trusted us with men. Wow. Just wow.

  24. Y’all have made me very thankful to have attended a public university in the middle of Atlanta.
    I do remember riding by PCC when I was younger wondering what it was all about.

  25. I’m sorry to say I was a GA at PCC in the late 90s (well, not sorry, really — I made some good friends there and it wasn’t all bad) and I chapped the commons, and the social hall, and the sports center. And I never, ever wrote a demerit slip. The only time I ever fussed at anyone was when a poor dating couple was molesting one another’s arms with their PCC ID cards. Bless their hearts, it just skeeved me out to watch.

    1. I was a GA chap there, too, and have a 0 demerits given record. That almost ended b/c of this one couple in the Palms, though. They were playing footsie at a very visible table, and I walked by, gave them the sympathic stink eye, and clearly indicated they needed to stop. I came around a few minutes later, and they were doing it again. So I had to be all “seriously, cut it out because I’d really hat to have to actually do my job, and you don’t want to be the couple that makes me” with an aggravated stink eye. They left the Palms a couple of minutes later. Haha

  26. I find it difficult to express how incredibly stupid I found the “chaperon” or “host” role I found myself in several times a year was. Every “Bible Conference” I found myself….every single year for the 8 years I was there…I ended up wandering around my assigned area in the freekin’ rain or snow. Not just rain…I mean torrential down-pours where I was required to still waste a few hours doing absolutely nothing other than getting wet and cold.
    Once, also, when I was assigned to “host” at a basketball game the guy who took over the “hosting” shift from me was blind. Literally, blind. They made a blind GA take a hosting shift at a basketball game…to do I have no idea what….

  27. No joke, I actually got “spoken to” because I fell asleep with my fundy u boyfriend on the commons sofa. He was on the OTHER side and on the floor.

    But, we were SLEEPING together!!!!

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