91 thoughts on “David Grice Tells A War Story”

    1. Which I’m starting to regret, cause, while I’m sure there is a good story in there, its buried under the stereotyping and subtle insults.

      1. “… while I’m sure there is a good story in there, its buried under the stereotyping and subtle insults.”

        It was a story.
        Plenty of stereotypes.
        Insults were not subtle.

        1. After much contemplation, I concede that you are correct. Therefore, I renounce my first.

  1. You would think a curch liberal enough to ordain such an flamoyantly gay preacher would not take such a hard line about Lutherans not being saved.

    1. Indeed. He made an awfully big deal about how big and strong and athletic, and “cut” the guy was. Now that would be stuff that I would notice, but Mr. Gay-basher?

    2. 1. David Grice pastors “Lighthouse Baptist Church” in Grand Prairie, Texas
      2. The most famous lighthouse in the word is the Lighthouse of Alexandria in Egypt
      3. The Lighthouse of Alexandria is one of the 7 wonders of the ancient world
      4. One of the 7 wonders of the ancient world is the Great Pyramid of Giza located in Egypt as well
      5. The Great Pyramid of Giza was the site for many scenes in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
      6. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a 2009 movie detailing the battle between the Autobots and the Decepticons (two races of Transformers)
      7. The Decepticons are lead by the evil Megatron.

      Megatron is “highly aggressive, violent and a megalomaniac (1)”

      David Grice is a Transformer (Autobot or Decepticon? You decide)

      (1) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Megatron_(Transformers)

      1. I have come to look forward to your logical progression posts. They remind me of ye sermons of olde.

        1. They remind me of Glenn Beck’s chalkboard rants. Maybe when he loses his job, Shoes could take over his show?

  2. I thought all the videos of Schaap yesterday were unbearable. And now this.

    He talks about a baptist with a capital B. He is nothing more than a bloviating, belligerent, blowhard of a Baptist.

    1. At least Schaap’s regular talking voice (not the shouting) is bearable.

      I’m just waiting for this guy to go, “And I SCRATCHED his eyes out!!!”

      Please forgive me and may God bless the Pygmies in New Guinea.

      1. Is “And I SCRATCHED his eyes out” a quote from somewhere? Please excuse my ignorance.

  3. 1. Why was he in a Bennigan’s? That could ruin his testimony.

    2. I’m confused, a German Lutheran Boy was in a Hawaiian ladies’ Church and she wasn’t witnessing to him? Was that the Lutheran Church or a Baptist church.

    3. Why did he have to mention he was German so many times, and that was just plain making fun of his accent. Reminded me of Patch the Pirate tape where the Indians get saved in their suttering english smattered with “how’s” and grunts.

    1. 1. Fried food trumps standards.
      2. Yes, that part was pretty incoherent.
      3. A chance to show off his Arnold Schwarzenegger accent. Of course, that’s an Austrian accent, not German, but what’s the difference, really? They’re all foreigners.

      1. “Ingmar” is also a Swedish name, not German, but again, foreigners is foreigners, no?

    2. Regarding #3 – His accent was a cross between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sgt. Schultz from Hogan’s Heroes.

      1. no doubt! They way he shouted, Sgt, Schultz, But then he slipped into his Arnold mode. But then as stated, a foreigner is a foreigner. Lutheran from Germany, I’m sure there’s no gospel infulence from Martin Luther or anything like that.

    3. 4. Why was he even fellowshipping with a someone from “first church of what’s happening.” Doesn’t sound like a fundie church to me. Shouldn’t he be witnessing to the Hawaiian lady that goes to that church to since it isn’t IFB?

  4. Zis is not rrrrright!

    No one ever taught that pastor the verses that would have helped him to put a knife to his throat instead of becoming a giant sack of hydrogenated vegetable oil.

  5. Does anyone else think that Grice could be Sgt. Schultz.”I hear nothing…I see nothing, I SEEEE NOTHING!…NOTHING!”

    1. Also at 2:52 of the video he yells “This is not right” which sounds like Major Hochstetter yelling at Colonel Klink.

  6. “I don’t usually pay any attention to our foreign exchange students anyway” 😕

      1. the labourer is worthy of his wages.

        But i like this one better.
        Muzzle not the ox…. HAHAHA

  7. Even though Ingmar(?) got saved, he refused to throw away his VHS collection of Knight Rider and life size cardboard cutout of David Hasselhoff.

  8. Did David Grice say that he was eating at a Bennigan’s, or that he ate a Bennigan’s?

  9. Bleh… I couldn’t get past, “Well, hey, Lady…” and, “Wahll, didja stick a Bahble under his nose?” Even during my fundiest fundy days I would’ve wanted to slap him and respond, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you wanted to scare him away from the gospel!”

    1. When he said “Hey lady…” I really thought he was going to tell her “why don’t you tell him the gospel?” But of course, I was wrong.

  10. Good stuff! That’ll screech, brother!

    I love this guy’s bit on the Wizard of Oz, I thought he was headlining at a comedy club.

    1. Loved his impression of the scarecrow. Leave to fundies to find evil even in the good things…Wizard of Oz! Really!?

  11. Question from an ex-evangelical of non-IFB background: Are the Bible colleges or seminaries that train these people aware that they’ve turned out alumni (a lot of alumni, apparently) who have absolutely no class?

  12. All of my worst nightmares returned — if you haven’t seen anyone saved, you are nothing! Heard this beaten into me for years, until I nearly had a breakdown.

    1. Same here, Guilt Ridden. Flashbacks galore of these types of stories. Memories of being driven to the altar b/c of guilt for not soulwinning every second of the day. Looking back, my primary motivation for being the “good kid” was not God, but guilt, not letting anyone down, and keeping up a reputation. I’m so glad I don’t care about that anymore. Yay for grace.

  13. That was so painful to watch. I must have grimaced and shook my head throughout the whole video! I had such a heard time understanding his story I can not imagine sitting and listening to that whole service. I wonder how he gave the plan of salvation? I bet it went something like

    “Uggh u see here that Jesus died well I mean Jesus was Jewish and he died on the, well Jesus was God and yes he was still Jewish and he died on the tree to pay for my, pay for my Uhmm – (yelling) Someone pay the bill over here! So Jesus was a Jew and he died, and hum, are you understanding me? I usually don’t even talk to you foreign exchange students!”

    1. I am putting on my fundy “Shoes”
      #1 David Grice was eating at a Bennigans
      #2 Bennigans serves “American Fare with Irish Hospitality”
      #3 Hollywood is filled with Irish Actors
      #4 Charlie Sheen is a 3rd generation Irish Actor
      #5 Charlie Sheen does coke and hangs with hooker
      #6 David Grace is a coke strung out hooker and that is why he makes no sense
      #7 Did someone stick a mirror under my nose?

      1. I vote “Shoes” gets a sub-blog, bloglet, or a spin-off blog of Stuff Fundies Like. Durl (Darrell) can have him(?) as a guest blogger on “off” days or every now and then.

        This connection thing is too good, and obviously very typical fundy manipulation.

        1. third. i’m dumb and can’t remember how many r’s and l’s there are. i went to Christian school, so spelling spelling …. not so much. I’m more phonetical, and durl is PERFECT

        2. Just to officially close the meeting: All Oppossed…. Same Signed, the motion carries. Meeting adjourned.

  14. The poor kid. Makes me wonder how the church treated “Ingmar” after his “conversion”… clearly this minister sees him as more of a curiosity than anything else. Would he have received any discipleship at all? Would he have spent the rest of his time in the U.S. being encouraged to go “soul-winning” to his hapless fellow exchange students? Or would he have just been forgotten as soon as the next new and shiny conquest came along?

  15. Poor Ingmar.

    I LOVE how fundies have to be okay with Martin Luther, because he was a reformer…but Lutherans MUST be wrong – no exceptions! (Just like ALL catholics, ALL episcopals, ALL presbyterians….)

    He does a horrible German accent, btw.

    “I usually just ignore foreign exchange students anyway”…..

    My entire family left the IFB church one by one. Now we have my sister (Episcopal), me (Presbyterian), and dad & mom (non-denom) 🙂

    wooo hooo!


  16. Painful. I can’t listen to this guy. My ears crawl off my head and hide under my dresser.

  17. Even had I not been totally irritated by the sound of Grice’s voice, I was completely turned off when he decided to put on a horrible German accent. Somehow it just seems tacky to put on any accent, especially a bad one, when you’re just recounting a personal story.

  18. I love this site, it’s like theropy…thanks for understanding can’t stop reading

  19. Maybe I missed it…but do you have a palin T-shirt that says “Silently Judging You”. I gotta have.

    1. A Palin T-shirt?
      The Palin I’m thinking of is anything but silent when she judges people.

      1. Yeah, it’s getting her to shut up that’s the problem. It’s just scary that someone like Palin gets any sort of support from otherwise (well, a few of them) intelligent people.

  20. I would like to suggest that maybe the whole story is made up.
    About 80% of German residents believe in evolution.
    Of the 20% who have doubts or reject evolution might include members of Germany’s Turkish community and other third world immigrants.
    So that odds of meeting native born German biblical literalist like Ingmar are very slim.
    Grice also fits the stereotype of the ugly ignorant fat bible thumping American. I doubt any tourist would wish to meet him.
    To my knowledge Lutheran ministers go to accredited colleges and get a well rounded education, unlike fundies ministers with their unaccredited colleges and inferior educations.
    I would suggest that before Grice talks trash about the Lutheran Church, he should study the life of Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Reverend Bonhoeffer had more dignity, class, education and bravery then all of the world’s fundie ministers combined.

    1. Right on. I’m willing to bet that 90% of David Grice’s stories and illustrations are completely from his imagination. After all, he is the hero of them all.

  21. Wow….are Baptists wearing judicial robes now? Anyway, the way he described the situation, it didn’t sound like a German kid to me. Germans are methodical, effecient and skeptical, German’s are MY people. I know from my cousin, Alois Ruf (Ruf Automobile GmBH), German’s just don’t respond like that. Germans get emotional over GERMANY, not over concepts they were introduced 9 minutes prior.

  22. I posted this comment: “Love how God got the glory in this story. Oh wait….he didn’t. You did.”

    I was called a “dirtbag” and told I don’t do anything for God. I guess that whole pastoring/church planting/hanging out with non-Christian thing I do is worthless. haha

  23. I have to say, I just discovered this website, and you guys are HILARIOUS! I plan to visit you often. I have been laughing out loud since the first comment.
    Oh, and “Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down.” Is all I could think of. (But you all already SAID all the other stuff I thought of.) 😀

  24. Alright, I know this is an old post, but I’m seeing it for the 1st time.

    I gotta say, the only thing I took from this video is that Grice & some extremely muscular bi-athletic high school exchange student did something on the hood of someone’s SUV which he quickly backpedaled & euphemistically referred to as leading to the lord. 😯


    I would suggest Grice is light in his loafers, but… 😈

Comments are closed.