Awkward Visits With Non-Fundy Family

Nothing can chill the blood in the veins of an ex-fundamentalist than the words “Hey, honey, your fundy relations are coming for dinner.”

The time spent with your fundamentalist relatives can be the some of the most painfully awkward hours of your life. The steps to the intricate dance of fundy social interaction are complex and fraught with peril. For example, whatever you do don’t mention dancing.

Hiding your ESV and books by Dan Brown are only the start. There’s also the way you’re dressed, where and what you eat, how long you should pray beforehand, and above all else, the topics of conversation.

That last item is by far the most dangerous one, for the fundy ear is tuned to pick up the slightest hint of liberalism and compromise. The simplest conversation can turn into a minefield of condemnation.

You: “So we were at the store last night…”

Fundy Relation:  “Last night was Sunday. Weren’t you in church?”

As quick as that a perfectly pleasant conversation can turn into an inquisition that will leave you screaming for the gentle mercies of the torture chamber. Tread lightly.

Among the topics to avoid are: books, movies, music, theology, work, family, friends, politics, current events, television, theater, or the internet. Even talking about childhood memories will only serve to highlight how far you’ve backslidden in the meantime.  In short, if you value your sanity, you’re pretty much stuck with the weather and four hours of making indeterminate noises of affirmation as you hear tales from the heart of fundyland.

Screw your courage to the sticking place and prepare to chit-chat pleasantly for all you’re worth.  Just remember, no matter how awkward it may be you can rejoice in the fact that when your relations leave they’re not taking you with them back to fundyland.

98 thoughts on “Awkward Visits With Non-Fundy Family”

  1. I can’t imagine swimming fully clothed. It’s just nuts! NUTS!!!

    When we were at BJU, my husband wanted to have a “studio Christmas party” for all his students to come over and celebrate. The annual ritual — after making the dip and the cookies and all — was for Grant to hide all his uncheckable music CDs. Mind you, they were buried deep in a cabinet, but he still felt like he had to hide the Billy Joel and Carpenters.

    So, so good to be free. . . . I do take pride in the fact that I’m the nut in the family who voted for Obama and who calls herself a feminist. I’d like to think I’m the “cool aunt.” I dunno if that’s true, but I’m growing more and more comfortable with my oddball status. Even though some extended family tries to avoid me. . . .

    One good topic for all — day lilies. And birds. Those are safe. Avoid vitamins and amusement parks, however.

    1. I know what you mean, I spent 4 years at HAC with the Statler Brothers, Tanya Tucker and Ray Stevens under my car seat.

  2. @escapee and @IAmHisBeloved

    My heart goes out to you two because I have to deal with the same crap and it is tough.

    It’s taken me at least 5 years to learn to deal with Family Fundies and I still have issues.

    You can’t even have conversations with these people. If you do, they just wait for an opportunity to express their disgust with you and don’t actually hear what you say.

  3. Camille said ” I do take pride in the fact that I’m the nut in the family who voted for Obama and who calls herself a feminist”

    and here I was beginning to like you. LOL 😉

  4. “If you don’t show up on your parent’s church’s Wednesday Night Prayer Meeting printed prayer list under the heading BACKSLIDDEN, you really haven’t left Fundyism.”

    Haha, we are on the prayer list at my father-in-law’s church. We were there this summer, and attended prayer meeting. My husband’s uncle got that section and prayed for us. Don’t know if he noticed that we were there or not.

  5. I tend to put my fundy family members on the defensive. Everytime they imply (directly or indirectly) that the church I attend or something I am doing is unbiblical I ask them to prove it with Scripture.

    I think they are too exhausted to keep trying. It is hard to argue these fundy standards when the Bible fails to support them.

    Deu 14:23-26 recently caused one of them great confusion.

    23 And thou shalt eat before the LORD thy God, in the place which he shall choose to place his name there, the tithe of thy corn, of thy wine, and of thine oil, and the firstlings of thy herds and of thy flocks; that thou mayest learn to fear the LORD thy God always.

    24 And if the way be too long for thee, so that thou art not able to carry it; or if the place be too far from thee, which the LORD thy God shall choose to set his name there, when the LORD thy God hath blessed thee:

    25 Then shalt thou turn it into money, and bind up the money in thine hand, and shalt go unto the place which the LORD thy God shall choose:

    26 And thou shalt bestow that money for whatsoever thy soul lusteth after, for oxen, or for sheep, or for wine, or for strong drink, or for whatsoever thy soul desireth: and thou shalt eat there before the LORD thy God, and thou shalt rejoice, thou, and thine household,

    Yeah, ask your obnoxious fundy family member to explain that verse the next time they complain about the wine in your fridge.

  6. usedtobefundy – not only that, but God is telling them here to take their tithes and feast/party! How do they explain that one?

  7. @ Escapee I may not be your sister by birth, but we are sisters in Christ =) This is a tough road we walk. I do want good relations with the in=laws but that would mean I would either a) conform to their image…been there tried that not going back or b) be the family dog that gets kicked around everytime I break one of their rules. As I see, they don’t want ME they want me to be someone I am not. I am not acceptable to them as I am now. I’ve finally come to the point where I don’t look for thier approval only God’s. You’d think that would be wonderful news to them, but sadly it is not =(
    I truly feel for all of us who are on the receiving end of fundy disapproval. I also have now come to the point where I feel for those still living in fundyland. I pray for them daily.

  8. @Reader Mo always entertains! I may have to go find some ikons & Mary statues! j/k. I used to have to stash my CD’s when my parents would come. I don’t even have CD’s anymore to stash though, and movies I just tell them they can watch what they like and if they don’t like some tough. Count me among those that thought this was about being a kid, and having to pretend we weren’t judging others at family reunions, or being prepped for all the sin the rest of our family was involved in and that we would be praying for all of them later. I still love my fam, but do have to set some boundarries. Brilliant post, def a best of 2010.

  9. Louis wrote:
    “not only that, but God is telling them here to take their tithes and feast/party! How do they explain that one?”

    Oh yes, Louis, more Bible truth than most fundies can handle. I know that verse personally rocked my little fundy world.

    They will either be bothered by it and end up researching it, or slip quickly into denial mode.

    But regardless, they will want to end the conversation quickly.

  10. Oh yeah, BTDT. I’ve finally reached a detente with my fundy mom by explaining to her that while I try to be a good christian I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m just a lousy baptist.

  11. I am not sure that it is possible to be a good Christian and a good Baptist.

    I had the joy of opening a newsletter that a relative mails out (he is a missionary) and finding my name in the prayer request section. The reason? Away from God.

    I kindly asked him not to advertise anything, good or bad, about me nationwide without my permission.

  12. I am not sure that it is possible to be a good Christian and a good Baptist.

    I assure you it is possible. I have known and do know people who are both.

    Not all Baptists resemble the characters found in this blog. Not even a majority of them do.

  13. I concur w/ Darrell. I know a LOT of “good Baptists”, that genuinely want to just serve Jesus, and live circumspectly. They drive me nuts, but I don’t think that’s mutually exclusive.

  14. @outside of Fundyism wow you are on a national prayer for being away from God. That’s classy. I’m so sorry.

    I decided a few years ago to stop calling my parents. I didn’t need the grief. And lo, I found all communication stopped. It was only me keeping it up over the years. It’s better this way for me, but I am constantly barraged with the feeling that I am supposed to make peace and it is my fault that we don’t talk. So much condemnation and judgement in my family under the guise of spirituality.

    The day I realized God loved me and didn’t judge me, that was huge.

  15. Ok I have read this site for about 6 months now and have laughed (and cried) more than would be considered appropriate. However, this post resonated with me so much that I had to post. I grew up in a fundy church but in a laid back fundy home. My parents weren’t skirt length nazis or anti theater peeps but they still attend an IFB church. While visiting them this weekend, I agonized over what to wear to church on Sunday AM – the pants that look great with this outfit or the skirt that won’t get my mom “fired” from teaching her SS class! Mind you that I am a 36 y o mom with 2 kids! (BTW, my son wore shorts and a polo to K5 SS class and someone did say that he looked like he was going to the golf course right after church! I laughed and said, well at least he’s in church 1st)
    I still remember the sound of the air being sucked out of the room when I returned from secular college one summer and read from my NKJV! It is really sad that memories from my childhood/youth group revolve more around trouble I got into b/c of what I wore, talks that were given to me “out of love”, admonitions against going to public college, the evils of Steve Green, etc. than around spiritual growth and the realization that Christ’s sacrifice is ALL I will ever need for salvation!

  16. “four hours of making indeterminate noises of affirmation as you hear tales from the heart of fundyland.” – this has been my last four days of visiting with my parents . . . exahusting . . .

    @ beth: “teetotalers who make you drink” – so true. I’ve pondered this many times, that I have antidepressants & alcohol to deal with those who look down on antidepressants and alcohol.

  17. @ escapee – I’m sorry. I just wanted to say I understand, esp. the last three sentences.

    My upbringing was somewhat different than many here – I’d never even heard of IFB until my mid 20’s, and much of the fundy bull-schaap mentioned here, I’ve ONLY heard of here or other places online – but my mother is a hellfire and brimstone southern baptist who used her faith to rule with an iron fist and as justification for extreme physical violence (Proverbs 23:13, you know.) After many years of heartache, she is finally out of my life for good – not only for my own sanity, but also I just can’t expose my children to that or put them at risk. It’s a huge disappointment. I’d love to be one of those women who says, “My mom is one of my best friends.”, but it’s never going to happen. It’s sad that people get so screwed up about what they think God wants that they’ll sacrifice their own children for it.

  18. LK, exactly where I am! It’s my mother behind the fanaticism in the family. My dad just goes along with what she says. It did become a safety issue in our family as well, the Bible somehow conveniently supported the abuse in our home. I would NEVER let them see my kids unsupervised. It hasn’t been an issue really, they’ve never showed too much of an interest in ever seeing my kids. They’ve only seen 2 of my 4 kids.

    But enough about me…

  19. @ escapee – It’s okay – vent away! No need for this “enough about me” stuff. 🙂 There’s a certain comfort in knowing I’m not the only one, but it sucks that anyone else is in this position. Mother-daughter friendships are so very special, and while I’ll never know what it’s like to be on the daughter side of one, I like to think that when my sweet 4 year old is all grown up, that she’ll still want to come home and talk to her old mom about how she’s doing and what’s on her mind, and consider me a friend.

    Using the Bible to justify child abuse is kind of like using a piece of silk to wipe your butt. How sad that it’s so common. I guess the parts of the Bible like the Golden Rule and Matthew 25:40 only apply to other people, not our own flesh and blood.

  20. I must say, this site is very educational for a foreign atheist like myself.

    There are some Christians who go to church *twice* on Sundays? Wow…

    Seriously though, it is revealing to see what Christianity in the US is like from an insider’s point-of-view. I love all the little nuances.

  21. @nichevo what is being explored here is a very, very tiny (and nutty) section of Christianity in the US. The Christian landscape here is very large and diverse indeed.

  22. Wow. Yeah idk my parents aren’t super crazy. We wear pants and can go to movies(both these allowed in the last two years) but my parents have really come down on me lately for my ccm. Also I would never tell them I have used an asv or an esv as just a side along with my kjv. Never ever ever tell them. But they have loosened up a little bit in dress and movies. And they were starting to indulge in my Christian rock. Then they went to wcbc leadership conference and youth camp. Idk they may come around one day.

    Peace from the north:)

  23. My goodness! Darryl, where you visiting with my foster/adoptive family the week before you wrote this?

    I was around 12 when I was sent to live in a fundamentalist pastors home. I was the source of much embarrassment for them. I had gone to their Christian school, but, once I was home from school, off came the school clothes and on went the pants. I lived on a farm. I would go out to play, ride horses or do chores around the farm. Then I wake up in the morning, go to school, get a call to come to the Pastor _____ office, and go to sleep in a alternate universe. I was quite the tom boy and was NEVER ladylike. Of course, I was prohibited from EVER wearing pants. That prohibition did not deter me from adopting a big tree with a nice limp just perfect to use as a monkey bar, in the front yard of the parsonages house to climb. I forgot all about wearing a skirt. My then foster dad was having some big names from BJU for a conference. He was horrified to walk out of the church with his friends to bring them to the parsonage for dinner as I was completing a loop around my favorite branch with my skirt over my ears. After that, my foster dad, went “liberal” and decided I could wear pants under my skirt, because I just could not “get it” that little ladies did not climb trees.

    I too, for many years tried to “fit in.” Even when I was trying to fit in and not offend them, I was also the topic of their conversations as I was just not spiritual enough or what ever for them. It is amazing in my family tho’ that they seem to think I am deaf also, or stupid and cannot understand that they are talking about me, often when I was there. Recently, I have not been over there much, and now I hear, “why don’t you come see us?” AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH

    I lived in Greenville, SC for almost 20 years. I was in the hospital once and a family members wife was feeding my cat. I was told that I had “alcoholic beverages” in the trunk of my car. I insisted that I did not have any alcoholic beverages in my trunk. Well, she “knew” more than I did. When I was released from the hospital and was taken home by her, the first thing I did was open the trunk and show her the “alcoholic beverage” was actually the store brand of Capri Sun that I kept there to drink for work as I was on the road a lot! I also told her, NEVER to snoop through my things ever again!!!!

    Also, NEVER have a fundy feed your cat when you go on vacation. I was on a antidepressant. That caused great consternation and concern for my soul for many of my fundie friends and family. The medical insurance I had at the time, required that I had to order a 3 month supply of all regular medications if I wanted my work medical insurance to cover it. A “friend” offered to feed my cat while I was going on vacation. When I returned, she had thrown away nearly a 3 month supply of my medications for depression!!!! I was told she even bragged about doing it at church the Sunday before. I called the police and filed a report for theft of my medications. To make it worse the “friend” who took my medications was a fellow nurse, who should have known better!!!

  24. @Darrell et al
    I am not sure that it is possible to be a good Christian and a good Baptist.

    I assure you it is possible. I have known and do know people who are both.

    Not all Baptists resemble the characters found in this blog. Not even a majority of them do.

    I agree. I was trying to make a tongue-in-cheek statement. Unfortunately that did not come across in my poorly worded post.

    I am a Baptist myself for what that is worth.

  25. I’d like to take credit for Camille voting for Obama, but, the truth is, she can think and make decisions for herself.

    We had a few cool families in our IFB church growing up. One family had a pool. We would have unofficial youth parties there. They also refused to send their children to any “Christian” school – public schools and universities were fine.

  26. Yep—Not all Baptist are this way. This is a VERY specific Baptist group in the country that thinks they are “the only pure ones.” It’s their “doctrine of separation” that makes them a cult.

    My husband is currently a pastor of a “Conservative Baptist” church (in that denomination). There are over 100 Baptist denominations in the country. We drink alcohol — frequently. We dance. We wear what we want to wear. We are Egalitarian. We associate with whoever we want. We have a HUGE variety of core beliefs within the church. We think most other Baptist churches are too conservative … and on and on I could go.

  27. Ha! I just saw Lady Bug’s bingo card. About a year ago I started playing the “excrement” my dad says game, just make a list, and enjoy. I usually will miss 2 or 3 for lack of opportunity to write down inconspicuously or can only remember so many at a time to record later. One of the better ones from recent visit this summer: “Lt Calley was framed by the liberal media” (Mai Lai massacre). (SP could be off on that)

  28. Interesting post. I’ve been on both sides of this. When I was growing we were super fundy and going to family gatherings was weird. Both of my parents come from large families and we were the only fundies on both sides. It was awkward because they didn’t know what to say to us. My dad was usually asked to say the prayer before the meal. I was always embarrassed because it was usually a sermon. There was a lot of judgement that took place but most of it happened on the way home. My parents would talk about who said what and did what. So I grew up hearing that and eventually became the one judging.

    Now it’s the other way around. I am the non fundy. I’ve gone through several phases with this. At first I tried to prove myself to my parents. I had to show them why more than one Bible version is okay. Or how good the lyrics to CCM were. Tons of disagreements there. Then I just shut my mouth and didn’t bring up any controversial subjects. Now I’m a little bit more into the whole “I don’t care” mindset. Not totally though. I still hide the alcohol. And my parents don’t know about my naval piercing or tattoo. But I’ll talk about or listen to whatever music I want to in front of them. Sometimes I bring suff up just to mess with them. But I know what they think or say after I leave because I was with them enough times growing up to know that they will talk about me and it won’t be good.

  29. Hi,
    Welcome to my life! And Don really nailed it with THIS gem:

    “Ah but once it gets out you are no longer fundy then the visits will dry up (you will be marked as unclean and branded as a Code 1 John 2:19) except for the occasional stealth recon visit so they can report back about your liberal activities.

    “…and did you know he has an NASB bible?”

    “Well, I saw them out the other night, mind you we don’t normally go where they serve alcohol, but I saw they had wine for dinner… I was so dissapointed….”

    My mother will try to blow into my sister and I life every year or so, her grandchildren do not even know her. She does it to find dirt on us (the visits are never announced, always “dropping by”. And like the post says, its her telling us story about so and so and so and so and “remember so and so” (NO I DON’T, LEFT 20 YEARS AGO, KTHNXBAI!) we just uh huh, uh huh for two hours while our kids walk by and give us weird looks. Ask about how we are doing? Nope. Ask if we need anything? Nope. Ask about our kids? Nope.

  30. Adding,
    I think why this cuts so deep to many of us here is not because of the frantic hiding away of unacceptable things, or trying to avoid sensitive topics…it cuts deep because you must confront the reality that to the people who brought you into this world, see you ONLY as the some total of a “to do and not to do” check list and NOTHING more. And you could never imagine seeing your own kids the same way, making them feel invisible, reducing them to a shell. Its inhumane.

  31. I remember the pull and the the feeling of being controlled by the expectations of mom….

    all I can say is the fundy family members who have gone before are getting their exercise … some are on spin cycle….

  32. @maybe gray, sorry. But so glad to hear it’s not just my mom. There seems to be an inability to love. You are so right. NEVER ask how we are doing or the kids, just give us a lot of gossip and updates and then they are gone out of our life again for an unknown period of time.

  33. I go to two fundy churches because I’m a college student. The one near my school is less strict about ridiculous things like clothing and movies and music. My friends go to CCM concerts, the theater, and hang out without older adult chaperones.

    At home, my best friend’s parents are very strict, and though I try to be respectful, it’s hard now that we’re 19. My church is the culottes-and-skirts-only church, no music with drums. So I show up wearing slacks or shorts and change to be “appropriately” dressed for church events. And get funny looks from a few people.

    I love my church and the people in it, but I feel that I should look for another church to attend while I’m home, one that does a lot of outreaches (like food drives, neighborhood Bible clubs, etc.) and appreciates both the old-style music and contemporary music.

  34. Must have more of this! I wish we had a place to further discuss how to deal with family. Five years out, and I’m still confused about how to deal with (or even recognize) the emotional manipulation. I could see an entire series on Disappointmentâ„¢. I know I’m not the only one who’s “broken their parents’ hearts” simply by thinking independently, or who gets the overblown “Shocked! Absolutely shocked!” reaction for answering truthfully about my opinions.

    FundyParent: “What? You asked questions and got different answers?! You were never a Real Christian.” If you’re able to figure out your own thoughts and feelings, don’t bother trying to communicate them. I already know what you *really* think and feel (especially about me), and it basically makes you a horrible person. If I repeat this long enough, maybe I can guilt you back into absolute agreement with everything I think. Failing that, “I just can’t express love for you anymore.”

    It bothers me a little that I don’t have a supportive, accepting relationship with my parents, because I see adult friends who are open *and* close with their families-of-origin (mind-boggling!). It used to bother me a lot more, but I’ve realized there’s no possibility of a healthy relationship in that level of dysfunction. Even though I can live happily without it, I feel sad that we don’t have that, especially when I know they could be living so much more freely and fulfilled.

  35. Every time my parents visit us and plan to go with us to church, I hear this on the Saturday night before: “Your Sunday school class doesn’t have a quarterly to study? What else do you do on Saturday night?” Seriously, this post comes closer to describing my conversations with my parents than just about any other I’ve read here. How do you do it, Darrell? I always wondered why I have nothing to talk about with my mother. Now I know why! I IS a minefield, and I have a strong aversion to blowing up. It’s a good thing the weather is such an interesting, always-changing topic….

  36. LOL- I think this is why we stopped being invited to Thanksgiving dinners at my non-Christian, liberal aunt & uncle’s house.

  37. I’m so sorry how ‘warped religion’ has so spoiled so many of your family relationships for you . It all seems so unfair. Never a fundy mself, but have a ‘fundy’ first cousin. ‘That man’ can, drive me ‘nuts”if’ I let him. He lives four to five hours drive away, in another province,( thank you God for small mercies!) He emailed a negative sermon by his negative fundy pastor to my husband, full of unkind and thoughtless judging and criticizing of our Church, of Mary and of Jesus. He hates Catholics and is so high and mighty you can’t help feeling the man looking down on you when having a conversation with him. The ignorant sermon, was based on Taking ‘one word’ out of ‘three separate verses’ in the New Testament,out of context, and completely ingnoring the rest of the verse,and using that ‘one word’ to proof text this idiot pastor’s blind guide to ‘prove’ that Mary must have been ‘a bad mother’ because her son, called her ‘woman, and saying ‘woman’ demonstrated that Jesus was disrespectful to his mother, and therefore that made Mary a bad mother!’I know fundy cousin sent that sermon to deliberately insult our Church and to hurt and upset me. My husband has listened to fundy cousin’s dribble pastor’s sermon three times, and is critiquing it, and showing how the pastor contradicts himself. Hubby is going to email his objective ‘comments’ back to him! I’m keeping my big mouth shut, but it’s hard because I really feel like sounding off to this cousin, and telling him where he can put that sermon! like ‘where the sun doesnl’t shine!’ But I also do not want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he irritated me. Thank God for self-control. My husband and I have never one time made a negative remark to him about any of the churches he has attended over the years with his wife and son. And they have changed churches at least three times in the past thirty plus years. From Anglican to Pentacostal to fundy Bible Baptist. Now the man’s fanatical! He believes he’s attending the only true church to go to if you want to go to heaven! I mean that looks like fanaticism to me. Not one time have we ever disrepectedany of his church choices and here he takes pot shots at ‘our’s’! Talk about mr. high and mighty, pauly perfect goody two shoes Pharisee! he’s so negatove, so angry, so controlling, and ‘he has no sense of humor!’I choose to forgive. don’t believe I could ever trust him though. he’s too mean. And he’s been a ‘so called born again christian for over 31 years. And all that that has done for him, has been to make him a meaner, worse and more thoughtless person over the years! How could the Gospel, how could following th real Jesus, do that to a person’s life? Do people get converted to Jesus, and the converted back to a dead religion, and just go backwards, becoming ‘worse’ after, than they were ‘before?’ I’ve been asking myself this question for over thirty years! And I still don’t have an answer. 🙄

    1. Ugh….the way Baptists take that word “woman” in the Gospels. When people said “woman” back then it was NOT disrespectful like it is nowadays.

  38. Fantastic blog. I love God and sincere believers (I love non-believers too, so don’t get me wrong. Lol.) and my heart sinks over the abuse that is doled out in His name by religious tyrants drunk on their own power and flat-out ignorance….. but I digress.

    I remember a very specific moment when I realized the church (or more accurately, ‘denomination’) my mother had been taking me to…… You see I was born into the Assembly of God church and attended there from birth to about 6 or 7; whenever my Mom finally left that mess and divorced my father, so I thought ALL churches and ‘Christians’ acted that way. Anyways, cut to about 5 years later and my Mom starts taking me to her new boyfriend’s church (a Baptist church & not a fundy one either) and we’re standing in line at the potluck after service and I just break out into dance. Pretty normal for an 11 year, I guess. But no sooner than I got fancy feet fever, my mother whacked me upside the back of my head in front of everyone and told me in no uncertain terms, not to EVER DANCE in church. Talk about confusing!!! Fortunately, the folks at that church could have cared less if I broke out into dance. I guess my mom was going off of her experiences with Baptist churches. I suspect she didn’t know there were/are different stains of Baptists.

    My mom used to be the worst (she doesn’t care much for church-life anymore). She tried to bribe me to go to church camp one summer. I was constantly grounded for dumb junk like forgetting to take the trash out on trash day (whoops, I still do that, seems like a pretty victim less crime to me). She said she would pay me and that I would be ungrounded for that week so that I could attend church camp. O goody!! I can’t believe I passed that deal up. That was pretty much the last straw for me. I was 16 and going into 12th grade and ran away to my best friend’s house and lived out the remainder of my school days there.

    I should probably point out that my mother’s husband was, at the time, (and still is at another non-Baptist church now) a leader among the men. Weak mean are drawn to him. Giving advice, counselling (even though he’s an abuser himself) and teaching a men’s class. All the while, hooked on meth. That’s right; HOOKED ON METH!!!!!! I found his stash many times and I WAS A CHILD!!!!!!!! He would always say how bad of a child I was, but I graduated with Honors from high school, was a really good athlete and teachers loved me but to hear him tell the people in his church, I was the devil incarnate! 😈 He actually gathered around men of the church to pray over me, but it was more akin to yelling at me with their eyes closed. Tragic!

    It’s funny now, because when my Mom and her husband’s old church buddies see me now it’s like they can’t believe their eyes. I’m happy, healthy, confident, successful and married to someone else who is also happy, healthy, confident and successful. They want so bad to believe my step-dad’s lies that I was/am no good. You can actually see them trying to reconcile the villainous picture of me they had in their heads with the person standing in front of them. Living well really is the best revenge and the truth always comes out.


    1. As Emma Goldman supposedly said, “If I can’t dance, I don’t want to be in your revolution.”

  39. *I meant STRAINS not STAINS, O my! Lol!!!!!! Sorry, not sure if that was a Freudian slip or not. Either way, my bad.

  40. For several years I was the fundy in the house and drove my poor family mad, trying to get them Saved For JAY-zuz, the stories they could tell. 😳
    Reading over all these posts put me in mind of that old favorite, “If Jesus Came To Your House”, and the panic in trying to hide wine and girlie magazines.
    The lines: Would you be glad to have Him stay forever on and on?
    Or would you sigh with great relief when He at last was gone?
    strike me as the most interesting, as I really think the Messiah could go with the flow, but oh, His Fundy followers, more holy than Christ Himself. 😈

Comments are closed.