Tag Archives: mandated spirituality

College Week: Mandated Spirituality

BJU Prayer Group

At Fundy U it is not only encouraged that the students do their good works before men to be seen of them, it’s downright required.

Chapel is on the beginning of the extra spiritual walk that is demanded from the students at fundamentalists colleges. For some students “Christian Service” outreach will be a requirement, for everyone it will be very, very strongly suggested. As a reward for fulfilling the Great Commission by doing skits for neighborhood children and yelling at drunks, your collegian (think fundy fraternity) may receive points towards a trophy. This accolade will be awarded with great ceremony before the entire student body to congratulate these students who are evidently a little less unprofitable than the other servants. Blow that trumpet a little louder. I don’t think enough people are looking yet.

Students at Fundy U will also be attending an evening prayer meeting with their roommates whether they like it or not. At some institutions the unwritten mandate goes so far as to state that someone in the room must actually be praying for 10 out of the allotted 15 minutes. Evidently God takes the same attitude toward 8 1/2 minute prayers as He does toward 9 1/2 percent tithing. This time limit presents a problem since it only leaves 5 minutes for roommates to give competing testimonies of how many people got saved on their outreach that afternoon.

There will also be required Bible classes for every student in which students will learn important spiritual truths such as why Rahab was wrong to lie when she tried to save the spies and how if you turn your head sideways and squint you can see the shape of a cross being formed by the furniture in the Hebrew tabernacle. For all classes students will need to purchase approximately 1,983 3×5 cards in preparation for taking KJV Bible verse quizzes. Even Algebra classes may have a verse quiz from time to time. Be prepared.

Work for the night is coming and be sure to document your efforts well. It’s not like you have a choice and there may be a trophy in it for you.

picture of BJU girl’s prayer group courtesy Life magazine.