I can remember when this kind of bulletin insert would have been the highlight of a Sunday. No, seriously.
Today’s challenge is to dig back into your memories and recall the very worst jokes that you’ve heard from the mouths of pastors, evangelists, missionaries, and other random people who stood up to speak.
Here are a few to get us started…
A pastor was preaching in a small country church and only one lone farmer showed up for Sunday Morning service.
“What should I do?” the pastor asked the farmer.
“Well, if it was feeding time and only one cow showed up, I reckon I’d still give him some hay,” the farmer replied.
So the preacher got up into the pulpit and preached from Leviticus for two-and-a-half hours. After he was done he again approached the farmer:
“What did you think?” he asked.
“Well…” said the farmer carefully, “if it was feeding time and only one cow showed up I don’t reckon I’d give him ALL the hay!”
Q. Who was the shortest man in the Bible?
(Riposte: No, it was Bildad the Shoe-height!)
Q. What’s the most biblical car to drive?
A. A Honda. The apostles were all together in one Accord.
A young pastor was pleased that every time he spoke an elderly lady would come by and tell him what “warm sermon” he had just given.
That is, until the senior pastor reminded him that “warm” just means “not so hot.”
Ok, it’s open mic. Who’s next?
At SFL we spend a lot of time on examples of the bullying and yelling style of preacher. For a change of pace, today we have a demonstration of the would-be “funny man” pastor in the person of John M. Keeter giving us a description of fat king Eglon…