Category Archives: Poetry

Saying “A Prayer”

Dedicated to gossips in mid-week prayer meetings everywhere.

Do you have a bit of gossip?
Say a prayer.
Have Joneses had a toss up?
Say a prayer.
Say it loudly in a meeting
Tell them all who has been cheating
And about the wife he’s beating
Say a prayer.

Is your story nice and juicy?
Say a prayer.
Is your neighbor loosey goosey?
Say a prayer.
Wear a most self-righteous look
Name the names of who partook
No, don’t write it in a book!
Say a prayer.

Finding sin within your campers?
Say a prayer.
Know who church revival dampers?
Say a prayer.
…or if you are not a man
At request time raise a hand
And we’ll find someone who can
Say a prayer.

A Poem For The End of Days

This little psalm of fundy hope and encouragement came from the Facebook status of Bible Baptist Church of Port Orange, FL. I hope it’s a blessing to your heart, health to your bowels, and a swift kick in the pants (or culottes if you’re a lady).

Twas the night before Rapture,
And all through the land;
Not a soul could be stirred,
Not even God’s man.

The Churches were filled,
With social events;
With rock and roll music,
And much money spent.

They threw out the Hymnals,
And changed the Old Book;
Lived purpose filled lives;
But God’s Word they forsook.

Yea preachers preach sermons,
With words so discreet;
They download their outlines,
And on them put meat.

They mince all their words,
From beginning to end;
But preach against sin,
We dare not offend!

The Church should be relevant;
You hear them all say;
Not too old fashioned,
More geared for today.

With coffee and donuts,
For all who attend;
And gossip sessions,
As prayer among friends.

Playgrounds for children,
Entertainment for teens;
Just keep them coming,
Whatever the means.

Let’s feed the homeless,
And do our good deeds;
It makes us feel good,
To meet someone’s needs.

While men’s souls are burning,
yet more day by day,
For fear of offense,
Nothing do we say.

I might risk my job,
Make the boss mad at me;
If the gospel I give,
To that vile employee

Though countless will perish,
For eternity burn,
Don’t ask me to witness,
Don’t seek my concern.

To yield unto God’s Word,
I cannot, you see;
Lest one I offend,
And they wont like me.

So I’ll just wait for Jesus,
To sweep me away;
When he calls with a shout,
That grand Rapture day

When the Trump shall resound,
Translated we’ll be,
I wonder how many Are going with me.

Will my children, my parents,
My spouse next to me,
Make it to Heaven,
For Eternity?

The man at the Store,
Who I joked with today,
Will he make it to Heaven,
On that Rapture Day?

My neighbor, my friend,
My enemy as well;
Have I told them enough,
To spare them from Hell?

(- Pastor Craig Moss, 12/22/12)

Jack Hyles Shoes

I was born in a lowly stable
just a little spotted calf,
I sensed my life would not be long,
I’d never grow to play and laugh.

My mother was an older cow
Who provided milk and cream
But as a male I was born to die
Long life was just a dream.

But still there was some hope for me
That I could do some good
I’’d heard about this royal chair
That started as some wood.

Perhaps my hide could be used to wrap
This man’s Scofield KJV
I’’d be the sword in the hands
Of fundamentalist royalty

Or maybe I’’d be the belt of truth
Wrapped ’round the God man’s waist
I’d hold him up as he preached the Word
and save dear souls with haste.

He’d pull me off for another use
When his children needed spanked
The rod of correction I could be
And later I’d be thanked

I have an even higher dream
If I could be so bold
Could I just be a leather coat
To shelter him from cold.

It’s really just a small request
It could hardly be deemed wrong
To be the garment that is touched
By the many admiring throngs

What’s this I hear you have in store
What is this fate I’ll meet?
I’m going to be a pair of shoes?
You’re going to put me on his feet?

Stacy Adams? Who are they?
Designers of men’s clothes?
How I wish I could just be a coat,
Rather than cover his toes.

Oh please, dear Lord, why must I be
given a fate so bleak
To have to endure smelly socks
seven days a week

But then I heard the Lord’s reply
and I want the world to know
That while the coat would keep him warm
His shoes would make him go.

The miles he trod to seek the lost
he made through snow and rain
and I protected him from the cold
and kept him out of pain.

I walked with him for many miles
I caught his many tears
I also felt his laughs and smiles
As he wore me through the years.

Now I see God’s bigger plan
that He had in store for me
Of all the things God could have done
I became part of history.

I never preached a sermon
I never read the Word
But I was there for every step
As he made God’s voice heard.

Just a humble little calf
born in a stable filled with hay,
What have I done in my life you ask?
This is what I say:

I provided soles that saved some souls
and filled some empty pews;
Without a voice I preached the word
For I became Jack Hyles’ shoes.

~~Attributed to “Pat”

Really Bad Poetry

The poem text reads as follows:

A Jewel or a Crown

“As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman
which is without discretion.”
Proverbs 11:22

“A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband:
but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.”
Proverbs 12:4

Young lady i say on your wedding day
which would you rather be found
it’s up to you, what will you do?
You’ll be either a jewel or a crown

Will your sweet valentine be an old nasty swine
as you adorn the tip of his snout?
to live in his wallow, will be a hard pill to swallow
But once married there’s no way out!

Why not instead, be the crown on his head
of the man God Chose for you?
Your marriage will be blessed, instead of a mess
When you finally say “I DO!”

But I know of course, the pressure and force
Those old hogs can place on your mind
So I won’t be surprised when some compromise
and on a pig’s snout they I find!

Young Lady I say on your wedding day
Which would you rather be found?
It’s Up to you what will you do?
You’ll be either a jewel or a crown.

David W. Handley
(Selected by the INTERNATIONAL SOCIETY OF POETS for publication 2002)

A Dream

I dreamed a dream that things were right and all the world was peace
I dreamed that shepherds loved their flocks for more than just their fleece
I dreamed that universities taught knowledge without fear
I dreamed of pleasant evenings spent with those who hold us dear
I dreamed of churches full of smiles in which were found no guile
I dreamed of sermons full of hope; no guilting down the aisle
I dreamed that each was serpent-wise yet harmless as a dove
I dreamed that judgment was all gone and left was only love

Then sadly…I awoke.