This week we’re visiting the website of Blessed Hope Baptist Church in Hopedale, IL. This site easily made the cut on the strength of its photo gallery page.
building fund thermometer. check.
Baptist and American flags. check.
pastor with a gun. check.
It’s almost as if they’ve been using SFL as a how-to manual.
How much do fundies love David Barton and his “unconfirmed quotations” from the Founding Fathers? Well, so much that he holds an honorary doctorate from Pensacola Christian College. Impressive.
Here’s David doing what he does best:
David Grice riffs on some familiar themes with his own unique panache…
Once upon a time there was a drawbridge by which a train would cross a perilous chasm. And at that drawbridge was a keeper who’s job it was to lower the drawbridge in order that the train might pass unharmed.
Now it just so happened that it was a sunny Tuesday morning when the father got the bright idea to bring his only son to work with him and let the boy wedge himself between the gears of the drawbridge lowering mechanism.
“Gadzooks!” exclaimed the father suddenly, “I just remembered that it’s time for a train to come through and now I’ve got to lower the drawbridge and crush you to death so that train full of strangers can live.”
So he does exactly that. This certainly doesn’t do the boy a whole lot of good and one can only imagine it doesn’t do the drawbridge gears any favors either. But the train is saved and goes through completely unaware of what has happened and nobody even bothers to stop and say “thank you” or send a fruit basket.
Somehow or another this is just like Christ dying to save humanity (not to mention providing great discussions for philosophy classes) which evidently was also a horrible accident.
Please pass out the tissues and turn to #365 in your Hymnals, Just as I Am.
Independence
(Written In the Grand Tradition of Fundamentalist Doggerel)
Presbys don’t witness
Methodists drink
Pentecostals use tongues
(demonic, I think).
Anglican pastors preach in a dress
(And some are actual women no less!)
Lutherans take the Lord’s Supper too much
And then there are Amish, so far out of touch
The Baptist Conventions just keep compromising
On the Old Paths and Standards and Version Revising
But as for me and my house we’ll stand here alone
And wait for the Rapture to come take us home
The Body of Christ we will be, compartmental
You say “anti-social,” we say “fundamental”