Well, that clears that up!
The only thing that will “clear that up” is a course of heavy-duty antibiotics
Or laxatives. I think that’s why the words in CAPS, in place of the more typical UNGHHH!
I wonder if laxatives somehow work at the opposite end of a fundy’s anatomy
This really is a fine example of that old adage; “For every complex and difficult issue there is a simple and direct answer. And it is usually wrong.” And there was me thinking it had something to do with faith and grace. Duh!
Why aren’t the rest of you as holy as I? And since he didn’t claim it first!
I’ve often wondered why, when EVERY Christian follows and believes the bible. Some Christians call themselves bible believing like they are the only ones that do?
“All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others.” George Orwell
“All Christians are equal, but…..”
You finish the sentence. Best answer gets my unused but cushion.
. . .not all those who consider themselves equal are TRUE Christians.”
… Bible-believing Christians who are also fundamentalist and dispensational are more equal.
PS: For what I said, I ought to be punished, not rewarded. You can keep the butt cushion 😉
…many are also odd.
They sent their Bible drill gold stars in for the Secret Scripture Decoder Ring and the others did not.
I just saw a church sign on an old dilapidated building. “First Biblicist.” I will gave to get a pic of it someday.
Good to know that was just George doing his thing.
What he says MUST be true since the EVERY and the NOT are in all CAPS. A clearer case for direct inspiration you will never see!
Agreed. This. ^
I can’t understand what he’s saying, but they’re a lot of verses listed there so it must be a really deep and infallible statement. Good enough for me! ::swallows hook, line & sinker::
And this ^
No verses, just the references. You done right by trusting him without even looking up the verses. You get a pass into the exclusive Bible-believing Christian Club.
I love that approach. Any statement you make can be followed by several references. Most people looking at the statement will apparently say, WOW! (note CAPS usage) It MUST be in the Bible! Look at all those references. When the references are only vaguely related to the subject.
Favorite example: My church’s standard of faith and practice has a section on which Bible to use. (KJ V of course.) It maintains that others are to be avoid because of pronoun usages, thee for you, etc.
The Bible references to back up this point are John 1:1, and Psalm 119:89. “In the beginning was the Word…” and “Forever O Lord the word is settled in Heaven.”
I personally have never seen a stronger case for avoiding pronoun substitution. 😀
In other news…it was a good weekend for the Tide! RTR!
That’s what happens when they play a high school team….You were pretty quiet when the Rebels slowed the roll of the tide.
Admiral if you’ll look back you will see I gave a shout out to my Johnny Reb friends for their win…playing the Dogs from GA this week! Roll Tide!
Going for bama this weekend. THWg and roll tide!
I won’t be able to watch, but I’ll be sneaking looks at the score app on my phone.
I am an NASB-believing Christian, so…
He has both those statements exactly backward.
He probably thinks he sounds clever, and doesn’t even realize that he’s shifting the meaning of the words “fundamentalist” and “dispensationalist” between their first usage and their second. Or maybe he’s really sneaky, and does realize it, but hopes his readers won’t. Anyway, cue that lovely quote from The Princess Bride.
Prepare to die?
The quality of the stuff he is sending from his mouth is truly worthy of coming out of the other end.
And vice versa
Or this one?
This one! Assuming this comment shows up where it’s supposed to. Or “You keep using that word . . .” in case it doesn’t. Thank you, Josh.
“2 Timothy 2:15. You keep using that verse. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
I deeply resent being called a Fundamentalist. I believe the Bible, but I am definitely not a Fundamentalist.
I shall now walk around and be offended all day, just like a Fundamentalist. After 24 hours, I promise to get over being called one.
I’m not sure what a “dispensationalist” is, but I’m guessing it has to do with Pez dispensers. Am I right?
Whaddya know? The dispensionalists are on YouTube!
l. – r. Deacon, Deacon, Deacon, Pastor’s Helpmeet, Pastor
Re: jay’s first post
I have this one, still sealed:
Yes. Yes it does.
The persistent need to show everyone who big yours is, is a bit perplexing to me.
(in reply to the tweet)
I wouldn’t have thought to read Jeffrey’s post through the lens of a locker-room humor … but yeah.
PS: Yes, I did laugh.
Oops. Should’ve been “how” not “who”, but you clearly knew what I meant.
Dear Jeffery Mallory:
You directly violate the ninth commandment.
PS: Out of curiosity, was Jeffrey one of the guys pictured in Darrell’s ‘Rapture Practice’ post?
This guy, among so many others, wishes that “Christianity” could be copyrighted with a caveat regarding that anxious feeling that the Rapture will happen five to ten years from now. Among other beliefs and doctrines.
I am going to guess that he is expressing disappointment with certain Fundies getting too anxious over last night’s Blood Moon.
Hence “NOT every Dispensationalist is . . .”
Is this what he’s talking about?
The lunar eclipse thing has been around for epochs; but now it means something…
PS: The ‘exclusive rights’ thing is a marketing strategy to encourage customer loyalty.
“No Scottsman wears underwear under his kilt.”
“Nay, beh a’m fae Scottland sin I were beh a wee lad ‘n I nay be lett’n me nuggets rehn free under me kilt!”
“You mis-heard me. I mean no TRUE Scottsman wears underwear under his kilt. I know because my grandfather was Scottish, and he told my dad, who told me.”
“A dinna onerstaun…”
Kilts rule och aye !
Nothing is worn underneath the kilt. It is all in perfect working order.
Of course, regimental standards do allow for the wearing of flesh-coloured hose, for protection against the Highland cold. Also bras for those in need of extra back support.
Eye bleach, please?
I thought that Bonnie Prince Charlie wore velvet breeches under his?
To quote the guy from the heretical Harry Potter books: “I like a healthy breeze around me privates!”
Here’s a nice visual commentary, hope the link works…..
Here’s a noteworthy visual comment on the matter….
Hope there weren’t any werewolves in the crowd. You should never moon a werewolf.
Stumbling into the one and only true belief system makes me feel great!
Slap a Bible verse behind it and makes it true!
True that! God said so right in 2nd Hesitations 9:17.
Oy. The term “Bible-believing Christian” just sticks in my craw. There is more scripture in one Catholic mass than in a month of Sundays (and Wednesdays) in my fundy upbringing.
And I know exactly how my fundy relatives would reply if I said that. “Listening to the Bible being read and actually BELIEVING what’s being read are two different things!”
With fundies, non-fundies can *never* win
I attended a Fundy wedding a few years ago. ONE verse from the Bible was read. ONE VERSE.
(I forget which one it was.)
Wives submit to your husbands?
Well, the bride happens to be, ahem, a bit heavier than her husband, so that’s probably not the verse.
This isn’t the No True Scotsman, this is…sheer lunacy.
In case you were wondering why my phone is getting so much action these days, I have been commuting between Chattanooga and Minneapolis for work each week. Someone had to keep Delta in business.
So in typical fundy fashion he found a few verses that have the word “dispensation” in it. In true fundy fashion, even though the definition of the word used in its context has nothing to do with fundy dispensationalism, the fact that the word exists proves fundies are right.
That shouldn’t stop them though. Even if a word isn’t used the concept can be found and preached HAYMEN?! So these transgressors of Gids Word need to turn from their dark ways HAYMEN?!
I lost me HAYMEN after forgetting to wear knickers under me kilt.
A reply to the original post from Mallory says:
Peter Ryan: Stuff fundies like has made this a post on their page.
One may be a fundamentalist of some other religion, such as Islam. The same might even be true of dispensationalism. As for a Bible-believing Christian necessarily believing either one or the other, aye, Scotsman’s knickers.
Well, maybe the brother DOESN’T have a theology degree, but according to his facebook page he DOES work at “Walmart and Serving the Lord Jesus Christ” So, there’s that.
Maybe he even stayed at a Holiday Inn Express!
Funny…that commercial crossed my mind when I was posting earlier.
Reading through his facebook page was both sad and disturbing. Is there a diagnosis in the American Psychiatric Association DSM for people that just get fixated on some religious doctrine and cannot talk about anything else?
I once knew a guy like this who got a job as a convenience store clerk. He couldn’t keep the job because he had a compulsion to discuss IFB doctrine with every single person who came in the store – customer, employee, vendor…he just couldn’t talk about anything else but credobaptism and KJV onlyism.
Hmmm. I hadn’t thought of fundamentalism in DSM terms. That is an interesting idea.
Fundamentalism does seem to generate psychological disorders, though. Think about the desire (and in a very real sense, when one is not personally threatened belief is nearly equivalent to desire) that those who do not believe the same way you do should suffer eternal torture.
Then, too, the Biblical description of God is that of the Ultimate Narcissist. Not being content with being supreme and glorious, He must ensure that everyone and everything acknowledge it. Seems to me that the desire to force the issue could cause one to ask if God has any insecurity issues.
I will see if I can look up some things. The DSM would be interesting, in any case.
Informally, that’s known as a religious mania.
I don’t think that’s a DSM term, though.
One of the most famous cases was that of the 18th-century poet Christopher Smart, who was put in an insane asylum after he started insisting that everyone on the street should stop and pray with him. Smart’s very famous contemporary, Samuel Johnson, believed that his confinement was unjust. “I would as lief pray with Kit Smart as with any man,” said Johnson.
One of my early memories was when I was eight years old convincing my dad to let me get baptized because I didn’t want to go to hell. The Church of Christ we went to had done a good job teaching their doctrine about what God required. I knew if I wasn’t baptized I’d burn in hell for eternity.
Looking back, it feels like child abuse. It was trauma.
You know, we all have different flavors of the same ice cream. I’m Nazarene, and grew up thinking if I wasn’t entirely sanctified I’d burn in hell.
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