I see what you did there…
I prefer “God-honoring” music.
I need to rebuke you in love. I’m sure you meant to spell it King Jamesly as “God honouring”! That one letter difference is important!
Yeeesss. I don’t even have to try. As a Canadian my spelling is automatically God honouring. Score.
Yet another reason I want to move to Canada. One step closer to glory!
Do Americans write “potine”?
I take your rebuke with a compliant heart as I realize the error of my way. I can only ask my Saviour to guide me so that my future behaviour reflects s better testimony to a lost and dying world.
Yours in the name and blood of the KJV,
You’re forgiven. (See what I did there?)
I did share a prayer request regarding your not taking a firm stand on the KJV on my Facebook page. I will be sure to add that you’ve repented.
Now go thy way and NIV no more!
We wouldn’t want any songs about uncovered breasts
So what if the Song of Solomon causes me to lust? Do we have to cut that out of the Bible? Or cover it up with something?
Put some strategic Band-Aids on it, please!
Perhaps Solomon should have read David Cloud’s book before writing this piece of lustful smut :^)
Exactly – Someone made a mistake in setting these “inspired” writers of the Bible before fundamentalist preachers in history….
uncovered breasts? Pic or it didn’t happen…
I’m told there are websites devoted to that sort of thing.
OH YEA! I haven’t looked at the local sex offender registry in quite awhile.
I want songs about uncovered breasts!
Is it okay to listen to Willie Nelson sing “By the Rivers of Babylon”? Do the biblical words become less consecrated to Fundies when a country musician of his fame/infamy sing them?
(To digress a bit from the hover-text)
Depends. If a fundy likes him, then it’s okay. If not, then he and his song will either be part of the “things I don’t like, so I will say they’re spiritually wrong so that I can conveniently look like a good christian without really sacrificing anything” category, or the “it’s so bad, I question your respect for God and even salvation to conveniently make you look bad” subset of the category mentioned above.
I’ve never heard Willie’s version of “By the Rivers of Babylon.” Is it on one of his albums?
I remember hearing it on the radio many years ago. I have seen it listed in some discographies, but haven’t found the song or a sample online. As best as CI can recall, he did a good job on the song. If/when I find it, I’ll pass it along.
Here’s Jimmy Cliff’s:
I want to hear a song on James 1:21 KJV, lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness
Superfluity of Naughtiness is my cat’s name.
Wow Big Gary, you even give your animals Bible names….Do you Home-Obedience-School them too?
Yes. Badly, in keeping with home-school tradition.
Yes, along with his ten other cats, all with names starting with S, dressed identically in denim skirts and white keds. ;D
Sweet, at least you’re consistent. Good Fundy, Good fundy *pats Gary on the head*.
R. Gypsy, you don’t know how close you are to the truth there.
Rumour (see that Apathetic of whatever) has it that Big Gary wears white keds. I am trying to get independent verification on the denim skirts. Stay tuned.
My Keds are red high-tops.
How does one get skirts and sneakers on ONE cat, let alone an abundance of cats? And does it really matter what you call them, so long as you have a can opener?
My cat is NOT a Fundy cat. She refuses to even cover her neck with a flea collar. As to training, she wrote the owner’s manual on “How To Train Your Human To Do Everything You Want.”
Lady Semp, if the cats are well behaved cats that truly want to do the right thing, then they will cooperate. I can’t believe you didn’t know that. That, or you slip them some benadryl. and hope they don’t destroy everything you love when they come out of it. 😉
Robot Gypsy is clever & full of guile. We should keep them around.
Linn, I didn’t know it was *your* cat who wrote “The Silent Meow, a manual for kittens, strays, and homeless cats,” all about “how to obtain, captivate, and dominate the families of their choice.” Good kitty! It’s an excellent manual for training your human.
I can’t help but picture Eric Idle composing this one
George hijacked my reply to you, ^^Bob M ^^
How about a song on Proverbs 23:2?
And put a knife to thy throat, if thou be a man given to appetite.
Played one of these once – It was impossible to play anything that altered the key signature you started in since the KJV has no accidentals . . .
Exactly. All songs must contain only one chord since no changes are allowed in the KJV.
It’s a threefold chord correct? It’s not easily broken.
How would you play hymns without a gratuitous key change for the last verse to manipulate the audience into singing louder?
You could just have the instruments drop out on the last verse so everyone will start shouting for some reason.
What’s with the knobs?
You wouldn’t allow any electrified instruments in church, would you?
The one knob sets the ALIENATE, OPPRESS, or SMITE mode on your KJV before hitting someone with it (handle upgrade featured here). The volume knob is for when you have too much feedback to overcome.
the nob is set at 11
Are knows allowed in IFB churches?
Knobs George, knobs.
I was told putting God’s exact words, sigh, to music and singing them was irreverent. It’s ok to move the words around a bit, add some of your own and then sing them……….I guess?
So … Psalms? No singing them?
We only sang Psalms at young people’s hymn sings where the more frivolous songs were sung and even then there were people who refrained in silent, holy(er than thou) protest.
If you can re-arrange the words, I could sing
Brown eyed Girl.
originaly the song was titled brown skined girl bet that would go over well in fudyville
But they will sing the Hallelujah chorus and Child is Born (only on the appropriate holidays of course) – direct quotes I believe
Oh no. Peebs don’t observe one day above any other, publicly at least..
I have never, never ever heard a sermon from an IFB preacher on the Song of Solomon. Only a couple of times has there been a passing reference to it.
Nor I – because it’s flat out sexy
Told my wife her body was like a heap of grain with lilies surrounding it and her navel was like a mixing bowl for wine.Its right there in the Bible! why would that upset her, or that it was the greatest of compliments, as I was reading line for line right out of the Song of Songs for her? Darn cradle Catholics never reading their Bibles
I went to a church where the pastor preached a couple of messages out of Song of Solomon. His whole point was that Song of Solomon was how close our relationship with God was supposed to be and had nothing to do with those “dirty” thoughts everyone was having.
This is pretty funny. Most of the fundy churches I went thought that guitars were the devils instrument and would not allow them on the platform. They were usually allowed in childrens church though (I guess it’s ok to corrupt the kids). No matter what, though, electric guitars were never, NEVER allowed under any circumstances.
I play the harp (at least I try to) would that be accepted?
Whatcha need is a harp guitar!
Like this, Paul?
This video could also be titled “Ninety-nine inch biceps on the wall . . .”
the harp I play most sounds more like this 🙂
My own weapon of choice is a slightly bigger version 0f the harp on the left and the bald-headed guy playing it is the person who got me interested in this type of harp. It is a “Clarsach” (or “Clairseach” in Irish) which is strung with METAL strings, giving it a very different sound and requiring a different technique.
comparing the wire-strung harp with the “more conventional” nylon-strung harp.(by the way, THE OLD iRISH HARP, from the 9th to the 18 century, was metal-strung)
Catholics have been singing Scripture songs forever. For example, the Psalter, which is the Psalms. Go to a monastery sometime and listen to the Psalter sung by the monks in gregoriam chant.
That’s because Catholics wrote the bible, duh..
Or from, er, Hyles’ current venue.
The fundy crowd in which I grew up was convinced Hyles was Satan.
I remember hearing fundy preachers saying Hyles was on his way to hell. (I changed fundy groups before Hyles died. I went from really, really crazy to really crazy.)
My Fundy church decided that guitars were okay for camp during campfire…that was it. So, once a year, we all got to sing newer songs (like Maranatha Singers songs) around the campfire. The guitars eventually infiltrated into the youth groups, much to the chagrin of several of the senior pastors that were part of the church consortium that attended the camp.
So I’ve been reading (lurking) on this site for a while. I guess I’m in “recovery”. I was in for 40 years (cut teeth on the KJV) and out now for ten. Posts here have helped me realize that many things I’d always thought were normal (“God pleasing”) are wrong, sometimes even bizarre.
This comment took me back to Fundy summer camp. My compound had its own fundy school, Hyles-esque bus ministry AND camp. I never went to any of the big-name fundy summer camps since we had our own- which of course was the BEST one! We had services every evening, but on the last night, the culmination of the week was the much-anticipated bonfire service. This was held late at night as we all sat in a circle around the fire. We sang songs (allelujah – fundy version of kumbaya), specific to this activity. People would throw sticks into the fire symbolizing “giving their life to God”. There was testifying,shouting,
weeping over sins in our lives, sins in others lives who weren’t “right with God”, and some would report being called into ministry.
Thinking about this from the outside now it sounds creepy. Brings images of the wicked worshipping satan around a campfire in the woods after dark.
Sorry for such a long post. May be the Fundy working its way out.
Imnokintothefundy, your story is very similar to mine. So many things I thought were right, the only right way, now look so horrible and yes, even creepy. I cringe for that self-righteous, blind person that I was.
Me too 🙁
I tried so hard as a teenager to live a life I thought would please God. I even believed that living a Fundy life would mean I would have a life with no regrets. That didn’t work out too good for me.
It worked out very badly indeed for me, and disastrously for my beloved daughters. More than anything on earth I regret that I was blinded by the lie that ‘our brethren’ are trustworthy and that outwardly living by all the Fundy rules makes someone a decent person. While I was brain washed and hoodwinked, my daughters were abused. I will not stop speaking out against this life because it is such a dangerous lie. Predators are rampant in the Fundy churches, (not just IFB but others like them), and they find a flock ready to be torn and shredded and conditioned to never complain.
Dear SFL Reader:
I’m feeling the temptation to attend a fundy church again. I want to deride the preacher for heretical worship because they do not practice exclusive psalmody. Moreover, they sing with the accompaniment of musical instruments. It’s a sad, sad day when the singing of God’s praises are left to cold steel …
Nothing like blowing their minds and accusing good folk of ‘liberalism’ when they protest …
So the song I probably hate the most is :
He owns the cattle on a thousand hills
The whole song is about how God has all these riches but fundies always seem to make it about tithing. “If people would just trust God and give tithes and offerings THEN God would give them the cattle on the hills and the wealth in the mines.” Because that’s what a kind and gracious father does, withhold basic needs until you prove your love.
“He is my father, so they’re mine as well.” Some logic. Does this make a defence for cattle rustling?
Probably my least favorite would be, “I’ve Got a Mansion Just Over the Hilltop.” Talk about gimme, gimme, gimme!
My personal non-favorite is “Silent Night.” Mawkish, sentimental, always sung in a draggy way.
A close second is “Away in a Manger,” for the same reasons. It is attributed to Martin Luther, but I am skeptical about that.
Aw, but there’s nothing cuter at a *yawn* church Christmas program than 3 year olds trying to sing Away in the Manger while chewing on their dresses.
I love those because my mom sang them to me at bedtime a lot.
I personally despise “In the Garden”. It’s the one song that everybody seems to sing as slowly as possible. It’s unbiblical, vacuous, fluffy, and annoying. Plus the lyrics of the last verse make no sense whatsoever.
I think I’ve mentioned this before, but some years ago hymnal editors surveyed United Methodists about their preferences, and “In the Garden” was the song most often mentioned by lay people as their favorite and also the song most often mentioned by ministers as their least favorite.
It’s easy to see why– the song is sentimentally appealing and theologically terrible.
Maybe it’s a sign of reprobation, but Darrell’s post made me think of the song, “I Love that Old Time Rock and Roll.”
Perhaps we might imagine a Mog built like Meatloaf (either the artist or the main course works) and using the pictured guitar to belt out something like:
I love that olde tyme KJV!
I preach a Jesus who looks just like me!
I’ll add to scripture like a Pharisee!
I love that olde tyme KJV!
Or “I preach a Jesus who’s just like me!”
Why bring Jesus into anything? He would just cause trouble
This is not relevant to the discussion but it’s just too weird to pass up. 🙂
They should be played with sackbuts. I always liked the word “sackbut.” It’s in the KJV.
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