116 thoughts on “Warnings”

      1. Dear CS,

        I hate both beverages. I guess I’m screwed.

        Bless your heart.

        In Christian Love,
        The One, The Only, The Innately Ignorant Lady Semp

        3. They have discovered a dangerous chemical present in virtually every soft drink made. Dihydrogen monoxide. It is a solvent and associated with several diseases. Yet knowing this, the FDA approves of its use.

        4. The shocking truth is that back in 2005, a dihydrogen monoxide spill in Louisiana killed thousands. A similar disaster devasted New York and New Jersey in the fall of 2012.
          Yet this chemical is still sold openly with no restrictions. It’s even distributed to children in schools.

        5. Dear CS,

          I’m glad to have been the first person in decades to say “bless your heart”.

          Sincerely,
          The Innocent and Innately Ignorant Lady Semp

        6. rtg and BG – I have a degree in chemistry. You can’t fool me with your jedi mind tricks. 🙂

        8. It is a lot of fun having an intelligent group to interact with. Including the innately intelligent Lady Semp, whose wit is always well received.

        12. Because to not distribute it would be “socialist” or “communist” or something.

          It’s our CHOICE to poison our bodies.

          HAYmen.

  2. I would assume with those stickers that the van is driven by a dude, not a lady (re hovertext), but I guess you never know for sure.

      2. If I may interpret a bit, she is just thankful for a husband who enthusiastically attends church with her, but he is the one doing the vinyl work on the windows.

        Further, the graphic design could be worse, glad its not Papyrus or Trajan, or God forbid, Comic Sans.

        2. Well, I use Comic Sans on occasion. But I have to agree with you about the layout.

          Bumper stickers, road signs, car messages — the usual connection is that the “font” or text is too small to read and they want to put in way too much.

          So the put in every sin that pushes their buttons, try to include liturgically-sized passages of scripture plus warnings about Hell.

          Any driver who tried to read it all would have a wreck and be on his or her way to the Next Place!

          But these people want to scream and be heard and taken seriously.

        4. Thanks rtg, you get it.

          I think the graphic layout is just large enough for the main message, to know you are being condemned. Serves that purpose well.

          Those that want more info, which is very likely no one, can come closer and read the fine print. Much safer for traffic, I say.

          B+ effort.

  3. I guess it beats walking down the street wearing a sign saying the same things. Still, I would suppose most people think such signs are stupid, and the owners of said signs are odd. I thought it was odd even when I lived in Fundystan.

        1. I am no English major, trust me, but I think a comma between the “odd even” in your original statement would make it work.

        3. Scorpio–

          I’m an English major!

          Once I was discussing with my bishop (Episcopal) about the name of our church. We wanted to change it. I told the bishop, “Never mess with an English major!”

          He responded, “I’m an English major, too!”

        4. For some odd reason this reminds me of a scene from “Horse Feathers” a Marx Brothers’ film. Groucho is a teacher at a College. Harpo and Chico are his pupils (the mind boggles)
          Groucho: “ok baboons, what is a corpuscle?”
          Chico: “Thats-a easy. first is-a captain. Then is-a lieutenant. Then is a corpuscle.”

    2. It’s definatley a threat but it indicates another threat too. These people are told, and believe, that one day at the final judgement an angry God will ask them why they didn’t tell more people about Christ. They believe they will not hear “well done thou good and faithful servant”. They also completely twist “the fear of the lord is the beginning of wisdom”. By instilling the fear of the lord they are doing the work of God and minimizing the anger that will be poured out upon them as unworthy sinners on judgement day.

  5. Covering your car windows increases the likelihood of meeting your maker sooner than you otherwise would.
    It provides the same service for any passengers in your car.

  9. Seems like trying to read these signs while driving might be one way of sending people to their maker.

  10. Nothing says love and grace like words of judgment and condemnation. Isn’t that how Jesus started the conversation with the woman at the well, “You’re going straight to hell, you H-A-R-L-O-T!” How or why anyone would think such an approach would work in our culture only reveals the acute cranial-rectal inversion they’re suffering from.

  11. I’m not sure whether those people are pessimists condemning everyone to hell or optimists gloating that everyone else is going to hell.

    Either way, they don’t sound like nice people.

  12. I find it odd what some people consider to be “Good News.”

    I have a hard time seeing any early Christians placing messages like this on their camel or donkey. Perhaps Paul placed hand-sewn messages on the tents he made…..

    2. Long time lurker, first time commentor- but Leanne’s image of early Christians ‘pimping their ride’ with religious epithets has made me laugh for the first time in about three weeks – which I really needed. Thank you Leanne!
      And to Darrell- this site is pretty incredible. I’m not sure you realize how far the ripples go, but all the religious discussion here has helped me think about my own beliefs.
      So from the bottom my lapsed Anglican heart (which I understand makes me “heretic-lite”, but thankfully not a Presbyterian), thank you.

      2. Glad to have brought some laughter. Welcome to commenting but beware, you think you can comment only once but that never works. You keep coming back!

      3. Did you hear about the rebellious young lady named Mary Katherine who was forced to attend a Catholic high school. Shortly before this young woman was to graduate, the mother superior decided to have a talk with her to see what her plans were. Anyway, Mary Katherine wasn’t particularly happy about the scheduled interview, so she thought that when the time came, she’d try to get a rise out of the old nun.

        Mother Superior– “So, what are your plans after graduation, Mary Katherine?”

        Mary Katherine– “I think I’d like to become a prostitute.”

        The mother superior gasped and then blurted out–“What’s that I heard you say?”

        Mary Katherine– “I said, I think I should like to be a prostitue.”

        Mother Superior (breathing a sigh of relief)– “Oh heavens be praised, I thought you said ‘Protestant!”

  13. This would be wonderful, if the door slid open and a trench coat wearing man dual wielding katanas stepped out.

      1. I’ve seen some bikers tattooed with “Only God can judge me,” along with the usual skulls, bones, grim reapers, and whatnot.
        Sort of the same theme, I guess.

  14. If you travel through some back roads in the south you will find road signs like this. Random ‘Prepare to Meet Thy God’ and similar sentiments. Cheerful things.

    1. elfdream, not just the south. My father had one on his house. I call them the Better people than you live here signs.

        1. Wow, just wow! I don’t recall seeing that exact wording of Rev 21:8… my Bible doesn’t have divorce and television in it. That is appalling.

        2. With the weather we have been having I wouldn’t mind a lake of fire.

          Heyo!!! Thanks I’m here all week. Try the veal and don’t forget to tip your waitresses. They work hard for their money.

        5. Whoremongers liars the divorced and those who watch television get cooked in the lake of fire? What about the proud? The arrogant? The hypocritical? The judgmental? The bitter? No. In Fundystan that is called “Holiness”

      2. Dear Jay Croft:

        Note the suppressed premise that the devil never attends church.

        Alternatively, some church people observe that the devil always shits in the same corner. I’ll leave it for others to interpret what that means …

        Christian Socialist

    2. There’s a sign about 20 miles north of Montgomery, AL on I-65–

      Go to church or the devil will get you!

  17. I wonder how effective this really is. I’m sure there are people swayed to ask questions, maybe pray a prayer, by the “scare the hell out of them” method. I wonder how often it works, though, when the billboard’s in front of you in traffic.

    1. I don’t wonder how effective it is.
      Effective at giving the owner a smug sense of self-satisfaction? Very.
      Effective at changing anyone’s mind or teaching anyone anything? Not in the least.

  19. There’s an electronic billboard off the highway between here and the big city that used to display (I think it’s up for rent now) various bible verses, but I don’t remember glimpsing any fire-&-brimstone passages. Liberals.

      1. I know Fundamentalist Chrostians and hardline atheists and I struck by how alike they can be – arrogant, intolerant, and unable yo see why any sensible person could possibly think differently from them….

        1. Paul Best, “unable to see why any sensible person could possibly think differently than them.” You hit the nail on the head there! That attitude, blinkered outlook is one of the things that really exasperates me about fundies of any persuasion.

    1. Satan fell out of heaven into the choir loft, according to one of the Fundy savants we’ve seen here.
      So as long as you stay out of church, I guess you’re pretty safe.

        2. You don’t?
          Or is that a misprint for “I don’t have a sou,” i.e., I’m flat broke.
          That, I can relate to.

  21. Ugh,

    I had a roommate at TTU that initially told me I shouldn’t be listening to Southern Gospel, or country music as it was against the rules. More than once when he walked in while I was listening to it he would say “Prepare to meet thy God”. as if to tell me I was going to be judged for listening to it.

    I finally got tired of it and fired back. “Who are you to judge me so just knock it off. What right do you have to judge me like a Pharisee” and from then on I continued to overtly listen to it.
    He didn’t make much conversation with me anymore after that except to often say I needed to get my attitude right.

    Thankfully he moved to another room the next semester.

    2. I shall micromanage your life in the name of gawd, and if you push back, even slightly, this will prove to you and me that I am right.

    1. Amen.

      And to any Fundies who are lurking the site, don’t forget to find someone today with ashes on their head and remind them that there will be a lot more ashes where they are going. >:)

      1. That’s some good preachin’ right thar brother Dr. Eric!!! Tell them katlicks that they are going straight to hell with their witchcraft!

  23. I agree the signs could be interpreted as a threat.

    If a muslim was driving around with signs like this with reference to Allah they would probably be accused of making terrorist threats.

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