It’s hard out there for a pastor. This one allegedly left off spreading the good word and started slinging spice instead.
There is no word on whether or not he went by
Heisenberg Hyles as his street name.
It’s hard out there for a pastor. This one allegedly left off spreading the good word and started slinging spice instead.
There is no word on whether or not he went by
Heisenberg Hyles as his street name.
146 thoughts on “Breaking Bad”
I’ll claim first even though I’m second because he didn’t claim first.
For a group that is so stuck on outward appearances that’s a pretty ugly building, not to mention the grounds.
No doubt they have some “building project” that’s been on the boards forever.
But of course it’s all the sheepl–er, parishioners’ fault, if they’d ONLY been more generous to their Man-O-gid then he wouldn’t have had to resort to such things as spice. :false tears: 🙄 😈
Based on the charging documents, the pastor and many parishoners were busy with things other than building improvements.
Wonder if the putrid blue paint was purchased in a clearance sale or a donation. On the other hand, maybe the “pastor / painters” were too spiced up to notice!
That’s pretty close to “Haint Blue”, so it may be an intentional aesthetic choice.
Actually, it’s RAF Azure Blue, underside color of British aircraft deployed to North Africa in WW2.
The “Haint Blue” thought reminds me of the report that General Manuel Noriega always wore red underwear to keep evil spirits away.
I thought incense was only used by those crazy Episcopalians…
The drug thing could be forgiven, but now Pastor has gone all high church on us. 😀
Clearly the good pastor misunderstood what someone meant when they said, “We need to spice things up around here.”
Dealing in spice can be dangerous – more than just sandworms to worry about
Just partner up with the local naib, invest in a good stillsuit and set your (Bible) thumpers at a safe distance — you’ll be fine
Walk without rhythm and you won’t attract the worm.
I’m a natural at walking without rhythm! You might say I know the way as though born to it . . .
Mysterious Man-Eating Holes Appear in Indiana Sand Dune:
Could be Graboids . . . alert Burt Gummer
Thanks. Now I have to go watch Christopher Walker dance in the “Weapon of Choice”video. 🙂
Irvington Bible Baptist Church, home of the spice, greatest of treasure in the universe. And he who controls it, controls our destiny, praise Shai-hulud.
Dune references never fail to cheer me up. Good show, guys!
awesome! Wonder if there was an RV involved? Oh….wait, it was a Uhaul right?
Say my name!
This one is actually funny in a way.
Clap. Clap. Clap.
I saw a Pontiac Aztek with the vanity plate “Brokbad”.
According to the court documents, there was indeed a U-Haul involved. And property – with a separate barn – paid for with cash.
He doesn’t want “good people” going to jail? In other words, IFB people. So if you’re saved (IFB style), you get immunity from the consequences of illegal activity.
It is the job of the MOG to separate the world into “good people” and “bad people.”
So, the people in jail are “bad people”?
As a cop’s wife, you come to understand one thing……
Everybody be crazy.
Heck no officer!! This is our annual Missions Conference and this year’s focus is on Haitian culture. There ain’t no druggin’ here!! 😛
Officer, let me ask you something. If you died today do you know whre you would spend eternity? I’d like to give you this tract. You don’t have to read it now, but later today when you get a moment blah blah blah……
Hey, sounds like we’ve got the beginning of a new Chick tract. 😀
That’d make for good pillow talk in my house. 😉
And now I can’t stop giggling. Thanks for pushing my mind right off the curb & into the gutter, Natalie!
You’re welcome. I do try. 😉
You know, they could hand out a track with a little sample and once they read the track they can use it in lieu of papers. I mean, they’re knocking on doors and walking the streets anyway, right? They could be onto quite the evangelism (marketing) scheme here.
I would think the audience’s compromised mental state from the spice would certainly make them more receptive to the IFB message or perhaps even more willing to take a ride on the fundy bus for the trip of a lifetime.
“If you died of an overdose today, do you know where you would spend eternity?”
“Tract“, BossHoss, not “Track”.
Actually, “track” is the preferred fundy misspelling. Probably because it rhymes with “rack” as in “track rack.”
Also rhymes with ‘crack’
And “smack” (I don’t know if that street term is even still in use).
It’s not, but that’s okay. 😉
I still do raise the roof, because I just don’t care. ;op
I am diminished
I am ashamed.
Does this mean I’m sleeping on the back porch tonight Robot Gypsy?
You and the dogs, yes.
Lol, BG. Strangely enough, my MOG in fundieland’s name was Hank Williams.
+ 50 to Big Gary for Hank Williams lyrics knowledge
BigHoss, here’s some tracks!
Alas – I have been run down by the editorial train! One brief flashback of high school English class and everything goes dark . . .
I have to check more of those videos
I miss NH!
5000-10000 bags a day. One of the biggest rings in the area…this pastor isn’t some small time preacher…his ministry has great numbers to brag about….I can see it now
“We minister to 10000 inner city weekly. As pastor I’m personally involved with and have hands on this ministry…”
I don’t think even Almighty Hyles ever claimed he reached 5000 to 10,000 individuals every day.
I don’t think even Almighty Hyles thought of running a drug operation out of the Fellowship Hall.
How could this MOG be in trouble, as he was just preparing for the Easter play at church. If you look in the KJV, it clearly says that they were preparing spices for burial. If people would read their bible, then they’d understand the true meaning of this whole mess.
Serious note after that awful stab at comedy: thats really terrible and as one commenter on the news story said “that gives Christianity a bad name”. It truly does.
“If you look in the KJV, it clearly says that they were preparing spices for burial. ”
Hmmm. I’m going to think of that the next time I see a package of Dry Rub for barbecue.
It’s used to make jerk chicken.
Way off topic, BG, but I make my own (wet) jerk seasoning, and it’s killer. Most wonderful ‘spice’ ever:)
One of these days, we Texans will have to do some grillin’.
I think I’m at the other end of the state from you, though.
Reminds me of this fiasco:
That guy totally isn’t gay at all. Oh, heck no. Why would anyone ever have any doubts?
I’ve seen first hand multiple times what spice does to people. This facade of a religious POS needs to be prosecuted.
“Twelve people face charges, including a church pastor at the center of the investigation. Police said Robert Jaynes of the Irvington Bible Baptist Church contacted them to talk. According to court documents he was willing to talk if everyone else received immunity. He said he didn’t want to see “good people” go to jail. As of Monday night, Jaynes had not been charged.”
The fact that Jaynes “contacted them to talk” tells me that he still thinks he’s in control. Control needs to be completely stripped away from this false prophet. He needs to be removed from any position of authority, charged, made to post bond, and his picture placed on the front page of the paper for all to see. I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if this spice racket is only one of many illegal things this guy is into.
But of course, he’s innocent until proven guilty.
What camp does this church, so-called, roll with? What Fundy bargain-basement institution of “higher learning” did Jaynes attend? Is there any video or audio of his false propheteering?
Problem, these are INDEPENDENT churches and more or less “owned” by the MOG. The Board of Trustees probably doesn’t have any real power.
So, the only way to remove the pastor is for the pastor to resign.
By the way, seeing the paint job on this “church,” the pastor may have been sampling the spice.
“He needs to be removed from any position of authority, charged, made to post bond, and his picture placed on the front page of the paper for all to see.”
I suspect all that is coming soon. Surprisingly (to me), so far they seem to have charged just about everyone else *except* for “Kirk”/Pastor Robert J. Jaynes. That might mean they have something bigger in the works to charge Jaynes with.
One Stacey Jaynes, d.o.b. 10/27/1972, was charged with multiple counts. I’m guessing that she is the Pastor’s wife or sister or some other relative (maybe brother– Stacey can also be a boy’s name).
A lot of his family members were caught up in this:
He who controls the spice controls the universe.
“The spice is vital to space travel,” and, “which gives them the ability to fold space.”
Yep, that about sums up what someone I spice believes.
This movie is why I am sometimes heard to threaten people with killing words like “muad’dib”. “Ni” is also acceptable
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
This guy apparently doesn’t have his “doctorate.” That would provide him immunity!
Stacey Jaynes, born in 1972, is listed as one of the defendants in the charging document. Is that Robert’s wifey-poo (pouri) or some other relation? Don’t forget, folks, that Stacey and the other co-defendants are “good people.”
Five felony counts. Looks like trouble in River City.
Wow, after this guy “runs some prostitutes” and does some jail time, imagine how powerful his tearful testimony will be!!
Sorry, that was jaded, even for me. And for us old fogies on here, what the heck is spice? Heck, I’ve got a cabinet full of the stuff I use for Indian and Thai cooking. I’m guessing not the same??
This “spice” is a synthetic drug that a lot of folks got exited about before it was made illegal. Basically, someone was trying to find a mary jane substitute that they wouldn’t get locked up for.
I see, thank you, Bigs Hoss and Gary. Now kindly vacate my lawn.
The problem with spice interdiction efforts is that these synthetics are usually manufactured in China. US laws are just behind the power curve, because as soon as one compound is identified and outlawed, the manufacturer alters the chemical makeup of the crap that’s sprayed on the (usually) plant material. Because the chemical compounds are constantly changing, there’s no really good way to field test the product (such as the NIK kits for other street drugs).
While it’s billed as ‘synthetic’ marijuana, it’s way more dangerous than marijuana. We’ve had people on spice with extreme paranoid delusions. It’s much like a hallucinogenic (like LSD). Extremely addictive & nasty stuff.
I ran across one woman late last year who walked down the middle of a busy multi-lane roadway yelling and kicking at passing cars.
Wicked stuff indeed.
Analogs of scheduled drugs are already illegal under Federal law.
I live in the town that had the inglorious honor of having the ZIP code with the highest per capita sales of bath salts and synthetic marijuana. It was very scary for a while but the perps behind the “head shop” that sold most of them are in Club Fed now and their assets seized. And the asset distribution to the local cops is the largest in US history. They were pulling $20k a day slinging the stuff.
My thanks as well; I’ve never heard of “spice” as a drug
Karl Marx was wrong. Religion is not the opiate of the people.
Religion is the “Spice” of life!
On the Foursquare page for Irvington Bible Baptist Church, Misty L. writes, “Love this church it rocks!!!! I never knew church could b so fun, and educational at the same time”
So they have branched out into Crack as well, good to know if I am ever in the market
The problem with crime-based dramas such as “Breaking Bad” is there’s always somebody out there who will think it’s a how-to manual.
Thank God he didn’t watch The Dark Knight…
Or “Reservoir Dogs.”
I got one better for you: a fundy pastor in California got busted for meth after hiring goons to kills his girlfirend:
This pastor and church are worthy of their own day on SFL.
It seems to be on the Hyles model– “bus ministry,” “soul winning,” etc.
“If you spend a few minutes talking to him, you’ll quickly realize that he is a man after God’s own heart. We love our Pastor because he loves Christ and puts Him first in all things. We are privileged to hear preaching each week from God’s Word without being watered down, or subject to man’s own opinion. We would love for you to come and meet the man that God has called to lead Fellowship Baptist Church in a might, yet humble way.”
It looks like we won’t be able to visit and meet the humble Mog who puts Christ first in all things and preaches straight without man’s opinion.
Does this mean the sheeple don’t love him anymore?
You’re right, BG, this deserves it’s very own spotlight on SFL.
Oh, we can probably visit him. But only during the correctional facility’s visiting hours, and only after a full-body search.
Jesus was a man, and He had certain opinions.
I wonder if his wife Joanna took exception to his having a girlfriend.
He didn’t have any formal training but “He immersed himself in the Word of God, as he still does daily.” That is, when he’s not having his meth-head buddies fire bomb his girlfriend’s house, endangering adults & children.
You just can’t make this shit up.
Googling shows Joanna is dead from a supposed suicide, but that investigation has been reopened in light of recent events.
The plot thickens.
Maybe he should have listened to his humble self.
Interesting. Parts of their web site make the church come across as the typical Fundy Baptist type, other parts don’t. The doctrinal statement says nothing about the KJV, and mentions “love for one another” as the first item. I’ve never seen that from any Baptist Church.
ABC’s 20/20 very recently did a report about IFB Pastor Mark Lewis:
Reading that sort of burned my eyes.
It seems Pastor Mark lives in a “million-dollar house.” Granted, a million dollars in California doesn’t buy as much house as it does in Arkansas, but that’s still kind of lavish for a preacher man.
Other than that, he just sounds like an old-fashioned wife-beater.
“He cannot stand when something’s out of his control,” Nottingham said. “That’s when you can see his temper just flare up.”
A rather accurate personality profile of a great many pastors, I think, although most don’t go as far as (alleged) arson and homicide.
Comparing the ordination process is two faith traditions:
Yep. My dad was ‘ordained’ by a local Full Gospel Businessmen’s group. It was a farce. Now he’s supposedly Episcopalian, after trying to start a church where he is in Honduras. He claims he’s going to be ordained there. I pray that they don’t pass him through discernment, because he’s crackers.
I’m kind of dealing with some cognitive dissonance here. On the one hand, I’m disappointed that a pastor would act in such a hypocritical way (i.e. blatantly disobeying the civil authorities that he and the rest of the church are called to obey in Romans 13).
On the other hand, as a libertarian I find nothing morally reprehensible about making, selling, or consuming drugs, harmful or otherwise, when it’s done voluntarily. Ultimately if the state hadn’t forbidden this, I would have no problem with this pastor, or even my own pastor peddling spice. It’s sad that the pastor didn’t practice what he preached, but at the same time, it’s also sad that an authoritarian government placed these unjust restrictions on him and everyone else.
Wow. I’m not even going to argue with you. I’m just … wow.
Yeah. I’m all for legalizing marijuana. But hard drugs are bad, bad, bad. I had two girls try to sell themselves to me– two for one deal– for $100. But that ‘s not the worst. I had a street prostitute offer to “party all night” in exchange for $20. It’s rampant here, a mix of long-term systemic poverty and an oil and gas boom. We have girls selling themselves ($40 is the normal rate I hear) who were raised by a whore who was raised by a whore. Dead by 40.
Five bucks is the lowest price I’ve been offered.
For a whole bunch of reasons, I declined.
The same girl who asked $20 for all night was, reportedly, once kicked out of a bar for performing fellatio in the men’s bathroom for $5. The bartenders noticed an abnormally long line for the men’s room and got suspicious.
When I first saw the sex-for-drugs trade up close it unsettled me very deeply and it probably took months or a year to really come to terms with it. I’d always lived either out in the country or in affluent suburbs. Never saw urban drug and prostitution problems up close before living here.
The idea that either practice harms only the willing participants is completely, totally, disgustingly false.
For one thing, addicts have kids. The girls I’ve had solicit me are all second or third generation drug whores. And in the last couple years I know of a woman who sold her two year old for bath salt money. The Feds cannot find the little girl. We had a girl for from “Molly” which was really bath salts and heroin, die in a trailer park. Her three year old called 911 to say his mommy was in the bathroom and really sick. We just had a woman pass out on suboxone and Xanax and fall into her twin infants, crushing and killing one. Yeah. Victimless crimes.
Agreed. It harms, and sometimes destroys utterly, whole communities.
How best to deal with the problem is, of course, a different question.
And there are underlying causes that are too seldom addressed.
The local paper has a story about a girl on probation for selling heroin. She is pregnant and failed her monthly drug test– tested positive twice for morphine or heroin. She’s going to prison now. This was just today.
And last week we had a flower delivery guy driving high on bath salts. 60 MPH on a narrow old residential street, lost control and drove through the side of a house.
This is a town of 17,000 people. And every week there are multiple horror stories.
Please don’t misunderstand me, I’m not encouraging the consumption of these things, but, if people want to buy and sell these things of their own accord, they should be able to do so, and live with the consequences of those actions, without need for the government to interfere.
And, if and when drug use does lead to an actual crime, involving an actual victim, then punish the crime, and consider additional punishment for the negligence. But until then, it needs to be left alone.
Robert, I think that position is based more on ideology than any real life experience. Throughout time humans have recognized high correlations between actions and outcomes. And it is always more efficient to contain the actions than the outcomes – in fact, it is coded into law in most jurisdictions that ignoring highly correlative actions is criminal. For example, if I were to fire a gun at a target on my own property, but on the other side of my property was a school, I would be charged with wonton endangerment in my state. That is because we know that if I miss my target, the bullet will endanger children, even if the bullets end up harmlessly in a brick wall. In the same way we know that using spice and other drugs will result in dangerous and deadly behaviors, even if we aren’t sure of exactly where the damage will occur. When someone goes ape on spice, they are not just endangering themselves. To ignore the danger to the community is reckless at best, and probably wonton. So I don’t think that argument holds any water on the philosophical level, nor do I think it is defensible on the practical or existential levels. My two cents.
Campbell, you said: “I would have no problem with this pastor, or even my own pastor peddling spice”
You would have no problem with a pastor peddling spice? What about a pastor who owned a strip club? Are you for real?
Fundystan said: “Robert, I think that position is based more on ideology than any real life experience. Throughout time humans have recognized high correlations between actions and outcomes.”
Yes, yes, yes. It’s why discharging a firearm is illegal in city limits. Sure, 95% of the time you do it, nobody will get wounded or killed. The other 5% is a real bitch.
“One toke over the line sweet Jesus, one toke over the line…”
It is easy to be snarky about a situation like this. After all, the pastor is a drug dealer. He used religion, faith as a cover for his works.
I am personally in favor of decriminalizing drug use, marijuana especially. Not that I do drugs (I don’t), but too many people’s lives have been ruined for such things when they were not hurting anyone but themselves.
The dealers and the producers, on the other hand, I would like to see hit much harder. “Spice” is very damaging. I would like to see the producers liable for monetary damages for their unsafe product. If their product kills, then charge them with murder (manslaughter at the least).
The history of capitalism has been that the very rich can hurt the very poor and get away with it, while the poor bear the burdens of the illegality and moral indignation heaped upon them for consuming the products of rich men. Nothing equitable or fair about it.
If the spice he produced and distributed has killed someone, charge the pastor with their death. That seems right and fair. If he wants to reap the rewards, he needs to face the risk.
The outlawing of precursors, not only the drugs but the ingredients used to make or process drugs, has caused ever more dangerous drugs to be unleashed.
Bath salts became a thing because actual LSD and MDMA became very hard to come by around 2005 or a little before. The cooks were in prison and all the precursor chemicals heavily regulated. So, alternates began to be used. The thing is the alternates were often discovered in the early 70s but not used because they were so unhealthy or dangerous relative to LSD or Ecstasy.
Restrictions on precursors are also making it practically impossible for me to get a package of Sudafed, which is sometimes the only thing that can control my hay fever attacks.
It’s a trade-off. The human devastation caused by meth… I miss sudafed too. But I’ve seen what it can become.
Bath salts are analogs of ecstasy (MDMA). The MA stands for methamphetamine. They’re all in the same class, but ecstasy is the least harmful and bath salts are worse than meth. Clamping down on Sudafed means people import bath salts from Russia or China.
The Pastor’s wife is also implicated quite a bit in these charges. Apparently she should be innocent cause she was just submitting to her husband.
So a drug dealing pastor gets to decide who is good and who is evil? That explains the cover ups :/ I guess If the drug manufacturers had read a different version of the bible they’d be evil and deserve to go to jail. Whereas if they read the kjv, keep their women in skirts and turn up to church each week they are good despite the drug manufacturing.
My Beloved wanted to know if they were going to tithe on the proceeds.
Judging by the number of people charges, a lot of members were tithing in-kind with services.
“charged,” not “charges.”
I love the “it’s hard out there for a pastor” line/song. Someone needs to finish reworking that song/lyrics!
What are the odds?
This was posted on Stuff Fundies Like on the same day I ran across Robert and Stacey Jaynes’ wedding pictures.
Pg 22 of docs (linked in article):
“Lastly, Robert stated that he just wanted to get this over and that he would forfeit all of his assets (vehicles and house) that he had. In addition, he would turn over as much of the $40,000 retainer fee he had given his attorney in Florida that he would be able to get back. Finally Robert stated that if he had to go to prison he would but he would prefer the “others” not have to go to prison.”
A Florida attorney, eh?
a. Why have a lawyer in Florida when you’re in Indiana? And what, exactly, was the $40,000 retainer for?
b. As someone commented yesterday, he seems to think he’s still in control. He’s just been caught running a region-wide drug wholesale business, yet he thinks he gets to decide who goes to prison and who doesn’t.
Gibbs is in Florida now, isn’t he?
Things that make you go hmmmmmmm.
I just want to know why he has not been charged with anything yet. Many of his family members were busted…why not him?
Don’t really know what to think about this. Not sure what kind of a church this is.
If the pastor is telling the truth that he was selling drug look-alikes overseas and didn’t think it was illegal, I have to wonder how intelligent he really is. Does not his Bible have “abstain from all appearance of evil”?
He wasn’t selling the drugs overseas; he was getting imported drugs and selling them in the U.S. He was a distributor, in the sense that he wholesaled to dealers.
Or, as the DEA likes to call such entrepreneurs, “a drug kingpin.”
Of course he knew it was illegal. People who think what they’re doing is legal and respectable don’t operate in secret as he and his associates did.
” An ironic truth to me is, there is a segment, if not the majority of my former fundamentalist brethren who would have preferred that I turned into a drug dealing, KJV Bible believing pastor rather than an atheist.”
A poignant comment, and probably true.
Thanks for reading! (and yes, it is true 🙂