282 thoughts on “FWOTW: Joyful Help Meet”

  1. I have quite a few frilly aprons, actually. Some are even vintage aprons. So take that Mrs. Bob.

    1. The assumptions of this woman are making my head ache.

      “Sadder than the demise of the feminine apron is the demise of the behind them-the death of the spirit of keeping at home-cooking, baking, feeding babies, changing diapers, washing clothes, scubbing and polishing….making home and family gleam. No respectable housewife would need to apologize to unexpected guests for her mess house. ”

      You know what? Right now, this raging feminist has a pot of pasta fagioli simmering on the stove for dinner tonight. It’ll go lovely with a big caesar salad and warm garlic breadsticks. I’ll be baking cookies in a minute because there’s nothing my husband loves more than freshly baked cookies on a brisk fall day.

      I not only fed babies but I did it with my own body. I also made my kids’ diapers — cloth diapers. Polishing silver and oiling wood to a rich shine are some of my favorite home making activities next to baking.

      Now, I suppose my feminism must be damaging to my family in some way. A-ha! I have it. I regularly apologize for the mess in my house. It couldn’t possibly be due to the fact that I work full time from home, have three kids I’m homeschooling and just can’t keep up with the clutter. Nope, it is simply because I’m an inferior woman who is hellbent on destroying humanity with her messy house.

      But at least I’ll be adorable in the frilly apron my grandma used to wear!

      1. I’d say that a big reason a lot of women wore aprons back in the day was that washing clothes was so much more work than it is today: a scrubbing board, a wringer, a clothesline. When it took that much effort to keep clothes clean, it made a lot of sense to cover them with an apron.

        1. In high school I worked at a Hardee’s as my first (non paper route, not farm) job, and they had aprons, but generally the only person that wore them was whomever was doing the “table” duty. We called it the omnipotent apron, cause whoever was wearing it was large & in charge.

        2. that and they didn’t wear jeans. Jeans wiped out to necessity of every wearing an apron again. πŸ™‚

      2. I love aprons & have a couple vintage ones myself.

        That apron article made me see red & want to throw things & swear.

      3. Seriously. I stocked my freezer with chili and canned 10 jars of homemade apple butter this weekend but since I did it wearing jeans and a Sex Pistols tee shirt, it probably didn’t count.

        1. Yeah, totally doesn’t count. Sorry. Must wear only frilly aprons to have it count.

      4. My kids’ childhoods are too short (off to college in just a few years) to spend that much time obsessing over housecleaning. There are places to go and things to do.

        Fundies think I am a feminist, while my secular friends think I am old fashion and maybe even anti-feminist. I just can’t win.

        1. You and me both. My secular friends think I am a throwback and anti-feminist because I cook and bake (one has rebelled against fundy childhood by reversing all gender roles between her and her husband and has become as militant about women not cooking as the fundies are about us doing nothing else). And my fundy-lite friends think I am a terrible liberal feminist because I got married after 30 and don’t have kids. Can’t please anyone. πŸ™„

    1. man wearing frilly apron: also a sin.

      man wearing ANY apron while doing ANY housework or childcare: also a sin.

        1. Which is utterly ridiculous. If I were to wear an apron, I’d want it to be functional. If I splatter spaghetti sauce on one of those frilly, lace-trimmed, twee-print aprons she’s talking about, it’s done for. I’d want something I can bleach the crap out of as easily as possible.

        2. I have an apron that is made of a heavy, almost canvas material and is structured quite plain, but it has flowers. So am I good enough to be a “Joyful Help Meet at Home”? Naw, probably not. I’m a compromiser. I need to commit to ruffles and bows to achieve true Biblical wifeliness.

        3. Made of a plain duck twill or denim… my son has one in red. I was going to buy him another that said something on it (I forget what).

          My favorite is twill with cats all over it. 😈

        4. OK, my favorite Fall apron is black with a bunch of pumpkins all over it. No frills, no flowers. My husband’s is blue striped. We sometimes cook together, both wearing aprons because we’re not the tidiest of cooks. Obviously, since we’re such sinful people, we’re doomed to failure as a couple– even though we’ve been at this for 46 years now.

        5. I have one that was given to me by my niece to wear at her wedding while she and her husband did the “cash” dance. People pay to dance with the bride/groom. Well, it’s black, trimmed in lace and has a pearl necklace attached. Has “The Little Black Apron” embroidered on the front, a take off on the “little black dress”.

          Wore it at the wedding and it hangs in my pantry. I am now in midst of menopause and hot flashes so the thought a putting another layer of material on my person makes me want to hurl! ❗

      1. One that looks like actual work aprons from Ye Olde Ladyelyke Tymes rather than the fluffy, frilly things worn by the lady of the house and occasionally by the parlormaid, neither of whom actually did the kind of work you need an apron for.

        1. Heh. I do medieval reenactment, and last May, after setting up camp for a weekend event, I discovered that the bag with my aprons and kitchen towels hadn’t made it out of the house. This was a Problem. But that weekend I discovered that about the best apron I’d ever worn was the previous day’s linen undertunic, folded over a bit, and with the arms tied around my waist. It was fabulous- covered the territory it needed to, and it was soft and absorbent. When that tunic finally gives up, I plan to make it into an apron permanently!

      2. Not only is mine unisex, but it looks similar to one a lot of women at our church have. They all say “Berean Baptist Church xxxx Annual Chili Cook-off” followed by 1st place or 2nd place.
        Mine says 2nd, on my second attempt. The first year I was told the chili was good, but had an odd texture. The next year I ground the goat instead of cutting it into chunks, and was one of the winners.

    2. I have a sensible commercial apron that I wear on the rare occasions I’m cooking or cleaning while wearing something nice. Those frilly aprons would be too pretty too mess up.
      But I would like one like the one Darrell picked out (or maybe as a Christmas gift for my daughter the soldier)

    1. Before I looked at the site, I thought that’s what it was… I thought, woe is me! For I have found my wife on the site of godless bastards that is Christian Single, or what, I should have found my helpmeet at Help Meet! I am now completely outside of God’s will for my life. I will now repent in dust and ashes and abandon any hope of being “usable” by God.

  2. after thoroughly reviewing this website and photos, methinks someone needs to cut back on the apron-wearing-induced baking fests.

    whatever happened to our bodies being temples? or is that part of the bible not as good as the part where it says we shouldn’t call children “kids” or work outside the home?

  3. I have a whole bunch of frilly aprons. I guess that makes me extra special spiritual! πŸ˜‰

  4. What a relief – I’m glad we Christian women have only 5 sins to worry about. I wonder which one covers liking Harry Potter?

  5. OMG. This apron thing is beyond ridiculous! I have a cute vintage-y apron that I rarely wear. I have some plain commercial kichen type aprons that I rarely wear. I am such a sinner! It’s an APRON. I love how these types of people make EVERYTHING gender specific! Is her next article going to demand that we wear lace trimmed bobby socks from the 50’s?!

    1. Why not a petticoat or a pinafore or a ruffly mob cap? I could feel like quite an old-fashioned housekeeper in those.

    2. I’ll wear stockings & garters, but I draw the line at lace-trimmed bobby sox! 😑

    3. I own an apron. It’s not frilly or flowery. It’s a man’s apron. It comes in handy for keeping my clothes clean when I bake and cook.

      I also have oven mitts. I guess a real man would just burn his hands, but I don’t care.

  6. It seems quite ironic that she holds up the Proverbs 31 woman who actually is working–she is buying and selling.

    1. Exactly. She was not a “keeper at home” in the way a lot of IFB churches interpret it. She was involved in business ventures outside her home.

  7. She has no clue and it’s obvious she is brainwashed and has too much time on her hands. I just glossed over the “kid” article. Holy hell…really??? She needs to go back in the kitchen and bake and leave the interwebs alone.

    1. At the local farmers’ market this past weekend, a lady goat farmer brought along some kids (literal kids: baby goats). My wife and I agreed that they were the cutest things we had ever seen. Even cuter than kittens or puppies or bunnies.

      So it’s not derogatory to call children “kids.”

      1. I guess since God is going to separate the sheep from the goats, she thinks that goats are evil.

        1. … or maybe the goats just don’t need to be sheared.

          I know from personal experience that goats taste better than sheep.

        2. Goats are A LOT tastier than sheep. Goat roasted over an open fire makes for just plain good eatin’.

        3. Oh, I disagree. I think goat is a bit gamey while there is nothing that can compare to a lamb gyro. Mmmmmmm.

        4. But the gyro is good because of the spices and sauce, which are designed to flavor the lamb to make it more palatable.

          Although I do like lamb, I prefer goat. And lamb is horrible in chili. That was definitely a one-time experiment.

  8. “Do you wear an apron? You should.”

    Oh, really? Chapter and verse please. And while she’s vainly looking for one, let me quote Colossians 2:

    “See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition … rather than on Christ.

    For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and in Christ you have been brought to fullness…God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross… Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink [or if you wear an apron, I assume] …the reality, however, is found in Christ…

    Since you died with Christ to the elemental spiritual forces of this world, why, as though you still belonged to the world, do you submit to its rules: β€œDo not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!”? These rules, which have to do with things that are all destined to perish with use, are based on merely human commands and teachings. Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.”

    1. Thank you, PW.

      Isn’t it convenient how this is never ever preached on in the IFB church?!

      1. You know, I actually remembered this being preached on. I don’t remember how it was handled, but I do distinctly remember that the KJV translation completely obscured the meaning of this passage. When I first read it in other translations, I gasped at the direct attack on Fundamentalism that it is.

  9. So because SHE feels more domestic and feminine at home when wearing an apron, thus we all should?

    This is the very thing Paul writes about NOT DOING!!!! We are NOT to lay our own preferences and spiritual ideas on other people.

  10. What a coincidence. Just the other day I was sitting on the couch watching football and I told my wife that, after she gets me my 7th beer and another plate of ribs (pigbones and pigskins amen?), she should make one of those old-fashioned godly aprons for herself. It would make her time working in the kitchen that much more enjoyable.
    But I told her she shouldn’t wear it when she was mowing the lawn.

    1. She’s supposed to be keeper at home, not keeper in the yard. The yard ain’t in the home, amen?! Get it straight.

      1. You bring up a good point semp. Maybe I have been derelict in my duties as head of the household.

        Therefore, effective immediately my wife is no longer responsible for the yard work. It will be delegated to the neighborhood kids at an agreed upon rate. And since that will free up time for my wife she is now in charge of the garage. It is attached to the house, amen? I will remind her that the oil needs to be changed next week and I already have all the parts for the brake job due next month.

        1. I don’t think you’re derelict in your duties, Scorp. I think you’re just a derelict. Drinking beer — such a heathen you are!

        2. Since women are not fit to drive, they shouldn’t be trusted to do car maintenance either. You’ll have to find something more feminine for her to do. You could ask her to make some quilts or grind her own flour or something.

  11. I wonder what level of sin I’m committing when I wear my apron to help monitor public school kids at lunch time. Surely it can’t be feminine and/or spiritual to open juice boxes or hand out sporks to heathen children.

    1. You should not be mixing it up with the heathen. Stay home where you belong and git your offspring learnin’!

      1. 2 of my offspring attend that school…the other “graduated” to the next school level last year. I’m really doing this wrong all the way around, aren’t I? πŸ˜‰

  12. Ummm…if you start searching the Bible (KJV1611 of course) for the “proper” out-of-context term to generically call your offspring, then you may have crossed over into the realm of “cult”…and I’m not really joking. I guess “kids” is now an official 4-letter word to feel guilty about…but of course, the fundy does not feel complete without a certain amount of extraneous guilt to purify themselves of…

    1. I call mine spawn or sprogs. I’ve also been known to call them little hellions. My husband calls them little monsters.

      I guess I’m going straight to hell without passing go.

      1. When they’re bad I tell my husband that HIS children are being difficult.

        When they are good I call them ……. uh, what was the question?

    2. πŸ‘Ώ This website is full of goodies. We can’t call our children “kids”, but “lambs” is okay. The proof-texting verse is about a shepherd taking care of sheep not really sure how it relates to children.

      Calling them olive plants seems to be okay. πŸ™„ The author needs to take a basic literature course so that she can understand what a simile is. The verse (Psalm 128:3) is not calling the children olive plants it is saying they are LIKE olive plants-not the same!

      1. She also clarified (highlighted in yellow) on that article: “The text and Hebrew citations belong to the original author; all non-KJV Bible quotations have been removed.”

        She’s actually REMOVING Bible verses from someone else’s article because they’re not KJV.

        Honestly, how dare she? How dare she? It’s one thing to prefer to read the KJV for oneself but to literally DELETE SCRIPTURE because you don’t like the translation? This really angers me.

        1. So, in other words, if it doesn’t say “walketh” and not “walks,” it’s not good enough?! That’s what I gather you mean.

      2. I can just see myself instead of calling, “Hey, kids!”, calling, “Hey, beloved fruit of the womb!”

        :mrgreen: I think my children would prefer “kids.”

        1. Fruit of the Womb is for women, obvo.
          The men’s underpants must be fruit of the … ?

        2. I actually do call my toddler “my son, the son of my womb and the son of my right hand” – but I only do it occasionally and in private.

          On a more serious note, my mom also believed in calling us children and not kids. That was almost as important as saying “rearing” rather than “raising” because you raise animals but you rear children. Every once in a while I wonder if my kids will grow up feeling less valued because I called them kids.

        3. Elizabeth–my family has called children “kids” forever. and none of us feel less valued or less human. I think the word has transformed in the culture that most people are not calling their children “baby goats”. The word actually means to us young humans as well. English words change through time. On this blog or on the FB page there was a look at the origins of certain words, the words no longer mean what they originally meant.

        4. As stiff and cold as that household seems to be, maybe their kids should be called “Fruit of the Tomb”.

    3. My grandpa called us “little heathens” when we misbehaved. I was probably in upper elementary school before I learned that meant something other than annoying or bad behaving children.

  13. I use a dish towel tucked into my collar as an apron. That works well. Doesn’t effect my standing in Christ or acceptance with the Father one bit.

    1. Not to split hairs, but if it’s tucked into your collar, isn’t it more of a bib?

      I’m having a hard time picturing it looking apronly, I guess.

  14. My first job was in a bakery. I didn’t know that as a man, wearing that white apron, that I was living in sin. What is worse is the women that also worked there wore white aprons. There wasn’t flowers or anything on theirs! Looking back though, I can see it was the sin of my father being visited upon me. He wore that satanic “Kiss The Cook” apron every time he used to cook out on the grill. Those hamburgers were delicious, but at what cost? At what cost!

    1. Jay – think of all those poor people that would come into the bakery and not be able to tell the men chefs from the women chefs! Talk about causing confusion. What was the name of this bakery, Satan’s Sweets? Devily Delicious? Prince of Dark Chocolate?

      1. Mmmm, mmm, mmmm, I’m drooling just thinking of the devil’s food cakes those places must sell! 😈
        (if they don’t exist, they should!) :mrgreen:

        1. Wasn’t there a post on SFL a long time ago about people who won’t eat Devil’s Food Cake because they think it’s somehow evil to say the name of that dessert?

          If it doesn’t exist, it should. πŸ˜‰

        2. I know Reader Mo used to call deviled eggs, “angel’d eggs”, which I still find uproarious. I think he or someone else said they called devils food cake/etc angels food cake…

        3. That’s problematic, because Angel’s Food Cake is already the name of a completely different kind of cake. In fact, I suspect that “Devil’s Food” for the chocolate cake was a deliberate play on the “Angel’s Food” name of the white cake.

          By the way, my Mom makes a great Angel’s Food Cake (the white one).

        1. Would that be run by ‘Phil, Prince of Insufficient Light’?

          (I have a son-in-law named Phil, and I’m trying to talk him into being POIL for Halloween…)

      2. Wonder what would happen if you tried to mix devil’s food cake with angel food cake?
        The possibilities are staggering. 😯 😈

  15. “Motherhood begins the moment the first baby is concieved. And, doesn’t end until we pass from this life into the next, into eternity.” First, she doesn’t spell good. Second, if this is how long I have to worry about my kids, just shoot me now!

  16. “The real pity, and shame, is that most churches today make them feel like out-casts, too. And in the very place where they should be praised, and encouraged for the wonderful work they are doing, where they should be COMMENDED, they are often made to feel CONDEMNED.” What the >bad place< is she talking about?

    1. She’s talking about the made-up liberal church she imagines in her head.

      Of course, she doesn’t mean the fundy churches most of us grew up in because there we regularly heard preaching on the necessity of women being a keeper at home.

    2. No, actually, I left my Lutheran congregation because after you aged out of youth group and coupled out of singles group, there was nothing for a non-parent to enjoy. I persuaded my now-husband to attend a Valentine’s Day “couples’ party” with me. Silly me, I assumed that the children would be entertained with their own Valentine’s Day party in one of the numerous Sunday school rooms while the adults got to enjoy a cheap alcohol- and smoke-free date at which someone else did the cooking. Why else call it a couple’s party?

      Nope. The first dance was the Hokey Pokey.

      We left.

  17. 😯 That site is all kinds of crazy.

    I was already triggered at a church mom-group today (showing love in “discipline,” ack!), and this site took me right back to the “be more, do more biblical woman” mentality. I can’t even.

    So glad I don’t live like that anymore! I’m grateful beyond belief that I’m actually able to accept the unconditional love of Christ & drink from the overflowing cup of grace.

  18. Here’s what drives so many of us crazy about fundamentalism.
    In one paragraph she says, β€œWhen we do the right thing but with a wrong spirit it is still wrong. We may look right outwardly but inwardly be full of hidden β€˜heart sins’.” I believe that. That is from the Bible.
    But then in the very next paragraph, she goes right back to outward appearance, telling us to make sure our aprons are feminine and that we SHOULD wear them.

    It’s this double-speak that makes it so hard to talk to a fundamentalist. They claim to stand on God’s Word and they’ll even quote God’s Word, but within moments, they’re advocating something that goes directly against what they just quoted from the Bible!

  19. Apparently I don’t love my husband very much. These are some of the author’s definitions of love:

    “Getting up early to have your devotions and make breakfast” He is more likely to make breakfast than I am.

    “Writing a weekly letter to his mother” Seriously, how in the world is this love?

    “Folding laundry every day” What about all the water wasted to wash a tiny load of laundry every day? I do the laundry when he starts complaining he doesn’t have any more loincloths πŸ˜†

    I am such an utter failure at loving my husband. I must get an apron from http://www.flirtyaprons.com, and start working on that letter to my MIL.

    1. Those aprons are really cute. Unfortunately I don’t have quite the same shape as the figures under the aprons as shown there.

    2. I wonder how much she really loves her husband if she has to write out a lot of chores for herself to do to act loving towards him. Where’s the spontaneity? Where’s the affection?

      Besides which, there are different love languages, and different ways that different people express love.

      Also, if he has a strained relationship with his mother, writing to her weekly (and presumably telling her all of his affairs) might not be the best way to go.

        1. Well, you could burn them, and figure the words go up to Heaven… no, wait, that’s too pagan.
          You could go leave them on her grave… no, wait, you’d get written up for littering.
          You could mail them to her old address, let the Dead Letter Office worry about it.

  20. I see that she sells bible covers on her website. She also publishes the magazine JOYFUL HELP MEET At HOME. I can’t wait to read that one. Bless her heart.

  21. On her home page she says, “Oh! How I longed for an ‘older woman’ to take me under her wings and show me the ropes.”

    Do any of you other guys remember thinking that very thing when you were a teenage boy?

    Not sure what ‘the ropes’ are though. Hmmm

    1. The ropes… let’s just say you can’t show that part on most websites. Especially that part with the whipped cream. 😈
      Anyone else want to combine “The Joy of Cooking” & “The Joy of Sex” into one volume? :mrgreen:

  22. Oh. My. Word. I’m rarely speechless – but, seriously? Another outward sign of godliness? πŸ™„

    1. I’m actually shocked more by this article than the apron one…..did she actually say that if her husband wants the dishes washed in a specific order, it’s her biblical duty to completely change how she does it in order to please him? wow. So it would be sinful and a violation of her being a dutiful wife if he actually DID dishes at all, but it’s ok for him to tell her how it’s done!!!???? I’m pissed.

  23. Under “wives”, at the bottom of a page she has a link to some articles, but she does give the following warning:

    “Please note some of the articles have non KJV quotations.”

    ‘Cuz that’s dangerous stuff. Gotta be careful reading those NIV verses. Satan’s power could reach right through those words and GETCHA! πŸ™„

      1. I was just reading that!

        “Your husband wants you to homeschool your five-year-old. You are not sure you are up to it, and you tell him so. He still wants you to do it, and says he will direct the course of study and be responsible for the outcome. So you begin with trepidation and ask a couple of your friends to pray, telling them how privileged you are to have a husband who will lead you and encourage you. Your husband encourages you to talk to Mary, who has homeschooled for years, for ideas and suggestions.”

        The next paragraph describes a woman who doesn’t want to have a 4th child when her husband does. She writes, “You tell your husband that you want to be in agreement with him, but you are not yet there emotionally. You ask him to teach you, to please remind you of those things you already know … and to help you catch up with him.”

        While I appreciate the general idea behind this, the way she describes it sounds so patronizing, making a woman more of a child in the marriage.

        1. So an ideal woman is one who has no thoughts, knowledge, or wisdom of her own? And no free will?
          Saints preserve us from such “women.”

        1. This is just for church ruling purposes, not for sensual reasons. We need to see the pics to have a valid ruling.

          Hi def please.

        1. Hooah, BRO. I would agree with you on that point but Miss M said it was a “naughty” costume. We cannot have a superfluity of naughtiness. Or even a fluity of naughtiness.

  24. Mark my words – any man that would want a fundy-style woman (i.e. completely subservient, docile, not very smart, definitely not educated, etc) for a wife is a low-IQ moron with a serious self-esteem problem…and probably a bully to boot. I want my wife to be self-confident, assertive and ready and able to take on any task that needs to be done…not looking at me for approval for every little thing. I hope that people think that she’s smarter than me (I know that others say that she is way more likeable than me).

    And one more thing…if you have to tell your wife (or anyone else for that matter) that you’re the boss, then you aren’t. When fundies harp on this it is just an indication that they have no clue. I theorize that comes from the fact that the MOG emasculates the men of the church, so they have to keep telling their wives that they are in charge at home.

    1. Bro Bluto, it also works in reverse.

      Often, women who are codependent seek after bully or in-charge guys, they look to a man to meet all their needs and to make all decisions. They are too afraid, insecure to stand on their own.

  25. I’m a little grossed out by the fact that the same apron she dries her clean hands with is the same one she uses to wipe her kids’ noses.

    1. A little? I’m mega-grossed out?
      Hasn’t she heard of hankies? Or hand towels?
      Or safe food handling practices?

      1. That should have been a “.” instead of a “?” after “mega-grossed out.” George …

  26. Under “Silk and Purple”, she describes struggling to find modest, attractive clothing and deciding to make her own clothes. She lists the following: a
    gathered empire waist jumper, a straight jumper (no slit), a drop waist (good for the nursing mom because the armholes are long), and the overall style jumper.

    Overall? Drop-waist jumpers? That’s NOT the image I get when I read “silk and purple” in Proverbs.

    1. Long armholes … nursing mothers …. um …

      WHERE are this woman’s breasts located?!?

      1. If the girls are far apart, maybe you can pop one out the arm hole?

        I’m sorry for that mental image. There are buckets of brain bleach near the exit.

        1. That’s what I was picturing too! I suppose if one adjusts one’s blouse from the middle, one could also adjust a jumper from the side, but, in my mind, “nursing” and “arm holes” just don’t go together!

    2. If it has an Empire waist, how is it a jumper?

      The whole concept of jumpers confuses me anyway, because in most of the English-speaking world, “jumper” = “pullover sweater.”

        1. We must have been there about the same time. I saw all the same jumpers. I thought they were decent. Fond memories indeed.

      1. Think of it as a really, really long sleeveless pullover sweater, meant to be worn over a shirt. Bonus points if it’s completely shapeless and made of a dark, neutral color that won’t show stains and a fabric so enduring that you’ll still be able to wear it in 30 years.

    3. Oh for heaven’s SAKES, AGAIN with the frumpy schlumpy “modest” dress. If you have to put yourself in a potato sack to feel Godly, why not a good looking potato sack? Here’s a whole page of gorgeous medieval breastfeeding clothes:


      These were all extra-Godly triple- or even quadruple-layer dresses, BTW: chemise, kirtle, overgown, and maybe even an extra dress in there somewhere.

      1. Ah, those are familiar images! I think Wencendl has a collection of 12th and 13th c ones. And certainly, you don’t have to dress like a schlump to nurse babies. I nursed all three of mine, and you wouldn’t have caught me dead in any of the burlap sacks that pass for ‘nursing wear’ in fundy circles. And what is the deal with slapping ruffles and lace on everything to make it palatable to women? Ugly wrapped in lace is still ugly. Maybe more so.

  27. With all the sites this lady is running, it sounds like she needs to repent and get back in the kitchen. She can’t be serving her man and children the way they deserve if she’s managing all these websites.

  28. From “Silk and Purple”:

    “As a plus size Christian woman who desires to not only dress modestly, but be feminine and pretty for her spouse, I have found that the simplest solution is sewing my own jumpers.”


    1. Interesting, Megan.

      My recently former fundy CEO once told me in confidence (“between you, me and the fence post) that an extremely plus sized Christian woman in the church was a “bad testimony” and that he wished she would lose some weight.

      I’m not sure if she sews her own jumpers. 😐

      1. I should probably be clear and say that I’m not referring to her plus-sized-ness (?) so much as I am that she thinks in sewing her own jumpers = any sort of attractiveness. I laughed so hard at this, and then I thought, “How sad.”

        You know, if this is how she wants to live her life, then OK, but to berate other women into believing this is the “only” way … well, cult it is!

        1. I knew what you meant, Megan! (and I agree)

          My thoughts just went off topic a bit there πŸ™„

        2. Since what she saw in stores was either immmodest, cheaply made, or too expensive (or a combo thereof), she decided to make her own. I have no objections to that at all. The idea that homemade jumpers are the only alternative to off-the-rack trash is misguided but I understand where she’s coming from.

          I don’t understand how making your own is cheaper than storebought, because when you buy say, three yards of material at $7/yard, plus notions, plus the pattern, you wind up paying as much for one outfit as you could at a consignment shop for a dress, two skirts, and three tops.

        3. That’s what I discovered, semp. When I first got married, I imagined myself learning to sew and creating sweet, prairie-style matching dresses for myself and my daughters to wear. (I didn’t even know how to sew but planned to learn.) Then I realized how much time and effort it would be plus the expense of the pattern and the fabric and decided I’d rather just go to thrift stores.

        4. You can save making your own clothes, but it’s very difficult. You have to plan months in advance, so you get each ingredient at the right sale – notions, fabric, and pattern. You should never have to pay more than 2 dollars for a pattern (except Vogue). Just wait for the holiday sales.

      2. Humph. As an extremely plus-sized woman, I am grateful that I am not the sort of Christian he’s looking for, to provide a “bad testimony” by my mere presence, no matter what I actually did for or in the church.

        1. You’re in good company, Jean. I have a big, loud mouth, I want to know why I’m doing something before I do it, & while I’m not plus-sized anymore, I’m still much too curvy for the average Fundy’s comfort.

          Only thin, quiet, submissive women are good testimonies (because the men can pretend they’re not there).

        2. My body type isn’t fundy friendly, either.


          However, it’s soft around the edges and perfect for cuddling small children. I’m ok with that.

        3. Clarifying: my own kids. I don’t just go around randomly hugging other people’s kids.

        4. His ministry was one of the outward appearance; pressed suit, crisp shirt and tie, and highly polished shoes. Much was made of the “excellence” of the building and grounds.

          The woman at the well would not be welcome.

          No life.

  29. I notice she calls herself “Mrs. Bob Lieb,” not “Mrs. Terry Lieb.” So she has absolute no identity except as someone’s wife and mother? Wow.

    1. This is — or was, anyway — technically correct. I don’t think someone becomes “Mrs. Hyacinth Bucket” unless she is divorced or widowed. She can be Hyacinth Bucket socially, but formally, she is Mrs. Richard Bucket.

      1. That was the rule when my grandparents got married in 1925. I don’t know of many people who are still following that style in 2013.

        1. You just found one, my own mother, and it’s beginning to rub off on me. :sigh: ^_^

    2. I remember an evangelist say, “When my wife married me, she was no longer Pamela James. She was Mrs. Tom Williams.” This was on a cassette tape from back in the 70s. I think he was illustrating how as Christians we lose our identity in Christ. I may have gotten the maiden name wrong, but fairly certain I got it right.

  30. Oh my! What a pathetic attempt to make one godly. This is just about as bad as the nut job who listed the characteristics of a godly wife a few months back. So, not only do I need to get the dishes done before I go to bed I also have to wear an apron while I work in the kitchen. Not just any apron will do either. It needs to be frilly. Good thing I have an old fashioned, frilly, approved apron!

  31. Maybe it’s just my old eyes but I read “ministrations” a little too fast and thought, “Uh oh.” I had to look at it a couple times to make sure I read it correctly. Who talks like that?

    1. Is this the woman who was camping out in her front yard a while back?

      I’m not entirely sure she’s all there.

      1. Yeah, Lady Lydia’s gone past funny into sad; I think she may have filled her house with so much “fabric art” and so forth that she can’t find a spot to sleep in anymore.

  32. The Apron rant is a gem! It reminds me of an English Class assignment of reaching into a hat and pulling out a word and you have to write an impassioned paper about that work. That’s a whole lot of thought going in to an apron! LOL. My mother has a conviction that women should always have ruffles somewhere on their clothes. I’ve tried to explain to her that a conviction means something you are willing to die for but I don’t get anywhere.
    My mother actually made me an apron for Christmas a few years ago. I looked like a medivial peasant in it, which my mother takes as the highest compliment.

    1. I love ruffles. I can even pull off wearing ruffles without looking like an infant or a wanna-be French maid.

      That, however, does NOT mean all women can & should wear ruffles. 2 of my girls are very strong, take-charge, I am my own authority types. Even as babies, ruffles were not part of their personalities; they just looked silly or contrived. Some females just aren’t ruffly. Maybe because *gasp* God made them that way! πŸ™„

  33. Be sure and check out the photos on her site. Her fondling a cooking tool (whisk); her admiring the whisk while cradling a stuffed giraffe to her neck. Seriously. Concerning.

    1. I’m pretty sure they were presents she’d just opened for mothers day.

      I remember my dad saying that it was disrespectful to give a woman household utensils for a present, because you were saying you only valued her for her work.

      In this case, it may well apply, however.

  34. My dad was a fabulous, professional chef, and being the manly man that he was, I am quite sure he appreciated his ‘unisex’ apron πŸ˜‰ Although, he probably would have worn a frilly one had another not been available :mrgreen:

  35. Was the term “helpmeet” in it’s original form meant to be a compound noun? You hear these fundamentalists talk about their wives as their “helpmeet.” Doesn’t it really mean a help, who is fit for a man. Like Eve was a help fit for Adam. Adam saw that all animals had a mate, but there was not one fit for him. Now I typed all this without consulting my KJV bible, so I’m going on memory here.

    We need a Hebrew scholar or maybe BobH the college English professor could shed some light for us.

    1. You have it right.
      “Meet” in “Help meet for him” means “appropriate” or “fitting.” It isn’t a noun.

  36. So the Victoria’s Secret apron I wore when I worked there, which is just plain black with the company name across the chest wouldn’t be appropriate? What about the guys that occasionally worked there and wore the apron? Hey, those aprons were useful with the two big pockets to carry certain items such as box cutters and black markers. As for the rest, I’ve got better things to waste my time reading.

    1. You worked in that porn palace??? There’s your first problem. We all know that any place that sells women underwear is ungodly!

      True story: I was looking at lacy things in the lingerie department in a JC Penney one day and a jumper clad woman was also in the department. A sales lady came and directed both of us toward a sale bin of Valentine’s themed lingerie. Jumper woman’s response: “My husband and I are Christians, so I don’t buy things like that”.

      1. Porn palace? That’s the first time I heard VS called that. Whatever. Us ladies that worked there certainly didn’t care for the way they advertised or some of their products but many were professed Christians. Mainly it was a job with some decent perks. And we had lots of women who dressed like this woman wants coming into the store and buying bras. But then I’m in Oregon so who knows. I no longer work there but still like their stuff.

        1. AR is joking! It IS, however, the attitude of a lot of fundies toward products like that and the stores that sell them. Sexy lingerie?!!! Horrors!

        2. Thank you, Pastor’s Wife. AR was definitely joking. But I did have a Christian school co-worker who actually called it that.

          I shop there, btw. Pretty much haunt the place for clearance sales on bras and underwear and am currently wearing a “Pink” sweatshirt my husband got me for Christmas. It is very cozy.

        3. Pastor Schettler at PCC (on more than 1 occasion in men’s only chapel) would describe his own fear of Victoria’s Secret catalogs in the mail. I believe he said he would shake & sweat in fear when it would arrive, and would like trepidly report it’s arrival to his wife when she got home.

  37. I have a beautiful sheer white half apron. The hubs has a silly Italian chef full one. I can’t remember seeing a “unisex” apron at any store. Perhaps in the kitchen of a restaurant, to have employees look neat and uniform, but not one marketed as “unisex.” How weird. πŸ™„

    1. I def have NO CLUE what a unisex apron is. I don’t think they make fitted men’s & women’s aprons. I get that they apparently make some fancy aprons, but frankly in a pinch, I suspect you’d use whatever apron was around, and not worry about the pattern or frills.

      1. Seriously, unless there are ruffles or lace or other such fluff, the only difference I know of is that aprons designed for women tend to be smaller. Most of them are too small for me.

  38. I have to say it–what on earth does she have to say about singles? I can’t bear to sift through all of her nonsense. The section on the jumpers and aprons stopped me cold.

    1. what on earth does she have to say about singles?
      I haven’t been through her whole site yet, but she probably doesn’t have anything to say about singles.

      In Southern Baptist, evangelical, and fundamentalist circles, they all assume everyone is married in their 20s with a kid.

      If you have reached early middle age such as me, with never having married and no kids, you don’t exist on their radar at all, not usually, unless it’s to be insulted or thought a freak.

      1. Or a closeted homosexual. Maybe in the Fundy mind the word “freak” might include closeted homosexual. I dealt with this a little bit as I did not marry until I was 30.

      2. Or you could be a missionary. I knew several women (including family members) who were missionaries. You could be a teacher or a nurse, and giving your life to God wasn’t just ok, but was seen as a great sacrifice. Really no different than being a nun, IMHO.

      3. You are absolutely right–they don’t think about it one wit. I am a older single and was subjected to all kinds of humiliating comments and situations. Thank goodness, that I am more comfortable in my own skin now that I have left my IFB church and attend a solid, non-Baptist type church. It’s not perfect, but oh so much better. Do they not think of the God’s providence and plan for everyone? Sorry–this women’s website really got me worked up πŸ‘Ώ

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