165 thoughts on “Friday Challenge: Would You Rather?”

  1. I was gonna say the wedding, but I’m depressed at the fundy weddings knowing these 2 are gonna inflict a lot of pain on a lot of people including their own kids if they have them. Funeral isn’t any kind of delight, but you know at least one person’s long hard strife has ended.

    1. “I’m depressed at the fundy weddings knowing these 2 are gonna inflict a lot of pain on a lot of people including their own kids if they have them.”

      Wow, going a little over the top, are we?

      ANY two people are going to inflict pain on others, and any parents are going to do things that will be difficult for their kids to recover from. To just make a blanket statement like that about all fundies is offensive. And if you’ve read a lot of my comments, you know I’m no fan of Fundiedom, but…geez.

    2. Fundy weddings imply to me people who’ve grown up in “the system,” and generally speaking (at least ime), they are a far cry from fundies who have made the *choice to be fundy. I would have gotten married in my fundy lite church had I been permitted, and goodness knows that my kids haven’t been raised to be fundies.

      I suspect far, far more damage has been done by fundy parents who choose that lifestyle for themselves and their children than by children who never had a choice.

      Anyway, all that blathering said, we all screw up and hurt other people, parents and kids included. πŸ™

    3. It’s better that two fundies marry than a fundy marry a non-fundy. If two fundies marry, only two people will be miserable rather than four. Think about it.

  2. Having been a part of both, this is a very difficult question to answer. On the one hand, Fundy weddings can be ridiculously long, as well as insanely preachy for the event you’re attending. A funeral, on the other hand, is really really depressing from a Fundy perspective. I think if I had to choose one or the other, it would be a wedding, simply because it would be a more upbeat affair.

    1. Wedding, for the same good reason. My dad’s funeral was lead by my parents fundy pastor and I wouldn’t something like that on anyone. πŸ™

  3. Strapless gown, and possibly only shoulder length hair. I don’t think the picture is an accurate representation of a godly wedding (sic). πŸ™‚

  4. The first Fundy wedding I attended ended in divorce 6 weeks later. I should think the Fundy funeral would be the more upbeat occasion: someone has escaped the fires of Hell.

    1. I once attended a funeral where the pastor gave such a beautiful message that you almost wanted to climb in the box and go off with the deceased. His life was celebrated, every person in the room was comforted, it was grand. Also, not fundy.

    2. A celebration of life is what it should be.
      God will take care of the deceased person.
      We are there to give thanks for his or her life.

  5. I went to a fundy funeral last year. I was clearly the only person with genuine peace, as I didn’t shed a tear until I saw some young kids crying over the loss. The pastor was my adoptive father, and he didn’t say anything about the deceased, but talked at length about the new home he bought and how it was big enough for his whole family to be there. I got chills and thought “compound”. He also looked directly at me and said “some people live just fine without god, but they still need him” I felt triumphant! It only took 7 years, but he finally can admit my life is “just fine”. I’m kinda surprised he didn’t lie about things because there were sheep in the room.

  6. Fundy Funeral, all the way! Even if everyone else is shouting while raising their KJVs and singing Victory in Jesus, you can totally be sad and solemn and get away with it. At a wedding, you are somewhat obligated to act all happy and like you think everything is wonderful.

  7. I always feel embarrassed at funerals because, even if I don’t know them, I almost always cry and I feel like people are judging me: “Why is she sad? She didn’t know him?”

    The worst about the wedding would be a super-long sermon or awkwardly inappropriate comments from the pastor. I don’t mind not having alcohol at the reception since I don’t drink, and I’m still too shy to dance at weddings so not having dancing wouldn’t bother me.

    So I’d go for the wedding.

    1. Ha! I do that, too! I’m an empathetic cryer, I guess.

      Oddly, I didn’t cry all that much at my own mother’s funeral. I think maybe I was empty of tears by the time her funeral came around.

    2. We were told not to cry at my 16 year old cousins funeral by my grandma because he was in a better place. She said Christians don’t cry.

    1. This reminds me of the joke –

      Q: What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?

      A: One less drunk.

      BTW, I am Irish so I have witnessed this first-hand.

      1. Good one, Scorpio.

        I’m Irish. I went to a family member’s funeral when I was young. Could NOT understand why there was a big party afterwards. And yes, there was a LOT of drinking going on there.

        1. but that’s what you meant to start with isn’t it? Carry-on, ignore me, nothing to see here..

  8. In my experience, the wedding.

    There is a good chance that most in attendance at a fundy wedding are part of the church or like-minded churches. Especially if the bride and groom are young and from the church. They may have no friends outside of the church. There will probably not be an altar call.

    A funeral on the other hand will usually draw non-members, non-KJV reading Chistians, Catholics and other “un-saved” folks. Resulting in the pastor feeling the need to not remember the deceased, but to preach to the heathens.

    Again, this has just been my experience.

  9. I was married in a fundy wedding. Although my wife and I weren’t fundy, she grew up in the church, so we wed there. It was quite nice, wasn’t too preachy or long, and was very beautiful. Of course, no alcohol at the reception, but we couldn’t have afforded that anyway. But I don’t think I’ve ever been to a fundy funeral. Now I feel incomplete.

        1. John is Awake…

          Stay Awake John and one day you might learn that all fundies are not “Fundy” as per your term. I am an Independent Baptist but I am not of the kind you refer to as “Fundy”. When you lump all of us into that “Fundy” group you are very misleading.

        2. Another thing, Jean. The only people we lump into the “fundy” group are those who, as I just said, make rules as important (if not more so) than the Bible. If you are not one of them, the term doesn’t apply to you. You are a Christian, plain and simple.

        3. Didn’t know there was a different kind of independent Baptist. Are you fundemental?

        4. Jean, YOU lump yourself into the group when you take on the term “Fundamentalist.” And from what I can see by your responses here, you are exactly like a Fundamentalist.

        1. You can come back all you want. I just don’t understand why you want to put yourself through this.

          Now, let me explain something. The way we use the terms “IFB” and “Fundy” and their variations is for the people who have taken the belief in the fundamentals of Christianity and made a whole bunch of silly rules. These rules have become elevated with Christianity. Perhaps your pastor wouldn’t ever present the “Polished Shaft” sermon complete with demonstration, but that doesn’t mean he’s not fundy. For instance, my ex-pastor’s wife wears pants and makeup, but is staunchly for dresses/skirts to church, no CCM, no alcohol, sending her kids to Fundy U (PCC) for worthless degrees, KJVO, no Halloween, etc.

          Perhaps you use the word “gay” to mean “happy” but that doesn’t change the fact that the world at large understands it to mean “homosexual”.

          I used to think I wasn’t one of the fundies. Turns out I was wrong. Just because I wasn’t as crazy as some doesn’t mean that I wasn’t. Maybe you’re not one of those fundies either, but you criticize us the same way the fundies do.

          Going to church a zillion times a week, being KJVO, tithing, listening to only approved music, keeping a dress code, forsaking the chance to be with dying relatives because going to church is more important, soulwinning, abstaining from alcohol and Hollywood and dancing and gambling, no more makes you a holy Christian any more than standing in a cattle stall makes you a cow. Anyone who raises personal preferences (such as what I’ve just listed) to biblical standards is a fundy.

        2. LOL-I love that clip. I had never heard of this show. Thanks for posting it!

      1. Semp…

        Thank you, I believe you know where I am coming from, and I understand what you are saying, to some extent. Yes I am a Christian and I try to live by the standards of the Precious Bible, as God is my witness.
        Have a great day!

        1. Semp…

          My husband is my pastor and he would NEVER show “Polished Shaft” in any way…EVER. I understand that kind of church and the people in those churches. I disagree with them and will be no part of it. I agree with you one hundred percent there. I do not wear pants to church, I don’t go to movies, I don’t do many of the things you list. The reason I don’t do them has nothing to do with me going to heaven. If I did do them it would not make me go to hell either. I am not going to say that I am always right, and I will say that you are not always right either. My convictions are according to the Bible, as I understand it. I don’t think we see the same way concerning convictions. I understand that. We have people in our own church who don’t have the same convictions I do. We just try to love them, and help them as best we can. We don’t look down on them, we don’t cast them out, we just try to teach them what we know, according to the Bible. They have a free choice, God gave that to all of us. I stand firm on my beliefs and convictions, I assume you will do the same. I just wish you would not call us all a bunch of whatever you feel like calling us on any given day. We all have a lot to learn and there is a lot of work to do in this wicked world. We HAVE to agree on that! Our time is short! Thank you and God Bless!

        2. Jean, from the posts and comments I’ve read on this site, It’s obvious to me that these people poke fun at and criticize a specific subset of those who call themselves Christian, but more so the damaging teachings they put forth. And sometimes “fundy” overlaps in terms of teachings and tendencies with those who don’t call themselves fundy. Whether or not that describes you is between you and God. Lord knows sometimes I read a post or comment and realize that I’m still clinging to some of those damaging teachings that were so deeply ingrained, and herein is the most important function of SFL (at least to me), besides maybe a good belly-laugh. Just the other day I caught my heart skipping a beat because I thought someone was going to (again) put forth a solid, Biblical basis for tithing. The thing I have to remember is there is no end to the rules people can and will try to enforce using Bible verses. But Darrel’s main message here, as I see it, is that a relationship with Creator will always trump any rules. In essence, Jesus becomes our Bible; and as often as the fundy churches read the very passages that say just that, they can never allow themselves or their sheep to truly live it. So we walk out, and walk free.

        3. First, you say that you do things according to your understanding of the Bible. Okay. Then you say that other people do other things, and that you don’t look down on them. Okay. Then you say that you try to teach them what you know, according to the Bible.

          Right there’s the problem. What does THAT mean?

          Here’s a way to focus the issue. Have a look a Romans 14:1-12 and Colossians 2:16-23. What do these passages mean, especially Romans 14:3 and 6 and verses 16-17 of the Colossians passage.

        4. jean, if you’re not a fundy, and you accept that those who are extremist fundies are wrong, then why on earth are you upset that we would call them out?

          Secondly, I’m laughing like anything at your list of standards and your claim that they’re biblical, and that you’re not a fundy. You are, you just don’t know it.

        5. Jean,
          I completely agree with you that your standards that you adhere to by your own convictions are not a problem. You must be true to your own conscience, to to do less is a sin. As Luther said, “for to go against conscience is neither right nor safe. Here I stand, I can do no other, so help me God. Amen.”

          Our beef is with anyone, especially fundies (with whom we all have the most experience with) when they project their personal convictions onto others and expect everyone else to perform to the same standard which they hold… that is sin as well. Scripture is clear about it. Some eat meat, others abstain, some reverence one day over another, others don’t. Whatever one does let it be done with a clear conscience and not engage in things one finds doubtful. That, is the whole command, yet fundies and others add to it by requiring everyone to adopt the same convictions, the same standards and place themselves under the same bondage in order to be worthy of acceptance in this group or that. What is a conviction to one is spiritual bondage to another and scripture is very clear on that. Whatever we do let it be done as unto the Lord. Apart from blatant moral sin and active rebellion against God’s commands… each believer has liberty to do what he feels allowed to do.

          Those of us who have fled the IFB cave and see the shadows of the IFB for what they are, are attempting to bring others out of the land of shadows, false teaching and fear. We preach to let those in spiritual bondage to religion know that there is real light, real truth, and real liberty in Christ just outside the cave.

          My convictions are different than yours, and yours different than mine, and Darrel’s, and everyone else’s on here to one degree or another. The problem lies when any of us project our personal standards onto anyone else and require they conform to our standards. The only one we are to be conformed to is Christ, period. If a non-believer does something that offends my sensibilities it is not my place to cleanse them and purge their attitude or actions. Only Christ can make any real change in them. The same applies to believers. There are specific things God declares sin. Outside of those things we have no mandate or authority to require other believers to practice. Even the Church at Jerusalem only required this of the Gentile believers: “For it has seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us to lay on you no greater burden than these requirements: that you abstain from what has been sacrificed to idols, and from blood, and from what has been strangled, and from sexual immorality. If you keep yourselves from these, you will do well. Farewell.”

        6. Don…

          Thanks for your kind words. I wish more people here would be as kind as you. My dad always told me “…You can catch more flies with honey than you can catch with vinegar”.

        7. “jean July 5, 2013 at 10:19 am
          That is about the most stupid question I have ever heard!!”

          “jean July 6, 2013 at 10:02 am
          Don…
          Thanks for your kind words. I wish more people here would be as kind as you. My dad always told me β€œβ€¦You can catch more flies with honey than you can catch with vinegar”.”

          I see a disconnect, here….

  10. I would have to say wedding. Both are bad but at least at the wedding was more enjoyable once the MoG got through preaching on divorce, smoking, and drinking (something most of my family did at the time).

    Our son’s funeral was horrible… I was forced to lead singing and was told that we could now start an outreach ministry to other parents who lost a child. Work work work, just what I wanted to hear that day. It was just so tacky and inappropriate, but, he’s the MoG. The worst part about it was the judgement placed upon us with the scuttlebutt running around the church of “I wonder what they did to receive this punishment from God”.

    Sick, it was just sick.

    1. Good lord! Jesus came to bind wounds, not inflict more injuries. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that on top of your loss. πŸ˜₯

    2. Your minister asked (ordered?) you to start a new ministry AT your son’s funeral?

      That beats all.
      I’m glad you “came out” from all that.

  11. One of the best weddings I ever went to (except my own, of course!) was at the most fundy church I know. Lovely couple, good preaching, beautiful preaching, good food. Only weird thing (for non-fundy me) was that there was no alcohol. I had to nip out for a bit to the bar across the road from the church, because I couldn’t stand that much socialising with straight-laced people while sober!

    1. I meant ‘good preaching, beautiful music’

      [Note to moderator, if you are moderating this, can you just change the text and delete this one?]

      1. I see you have met george.

        george is the person responsible for us noticing a typo the very moment we hit the submit button. george likes to meet new people. πŸ˜†

  12. Funeral. I gave this some thought. A fundy wedding makes me want to puke all over the floor. They go on and on about the purity of the bride, hardly giving a mention to the purity of the groom. They go on and on about headship and submission. They go on and on about a Christian home. (Their version of a Christian home) At the last they are usually pronounced “man” and wife rather than husband and wife as they ought to be. Then at the very last they are presented as Mr. and Mrs. Man’s full name. I end up with a sick disgusted feeling. After all this they send you down to the reception and you have to wait an hour while they take pictures upstairs. Once they shuffled everyone outside into the July heat for an hour while they took pictures. The food is ok, though some receptions are cake only.

    Funerals on the other hand tend to be more upbeat. They celebrate the person’s homegoing. They’ll talk about salvation and tell how the person was saved. They’ll even mention other things besides this, the person’s interests and stuff. And there is usually a good meal afterward. So I’ll take the fundy funeral any time over the wedding, though the wedding should be a happier occasion than the funeral, it isn’t always. πŸ™‚

    1. Pretty much ditto, after thinking about it for a bit. It would depend, of course, on how close to the person or family I was – if it was the funeral of someone I knew, then it would be so emotionally painful that I would infinitely prefer the wedding. However, if it was the funeral of someone I didn’t know (though I’d probably cry anyway), or a funeral as an abstract concept: oh yeah, definitely the funeral.
      The wedding would make me angry. If the bride had to say “honour and obey” I would be so upset, because this woman is being taught that another plain old person has the right to order her around – she’s even being expected to swear it! Then heaven help us if there’s a reading of a scripture passage that isn’t about LOVE, but about something like submission. And then a spiel emphasising parenthood, and the assumption that of course they must have children. Not to mention, as you said, the creepy “purity” stuff: ew; it is not my business, nor anyone else’s business, what the bride has or has not been doing with her own body. Ew.
      And the awkward moments when people who are not so restrained – family friends and cousins and such – swear, or make an off-colour joke.
      And, for me, worst of all is when it’s your pastor, or a pastor you know, and he turns it into a sermon, or includes his own pet themes as he speaks. Heck, he should not draw any attention at all to himself – that is not his job, this is not about him, this is not about his church, he is there as an official and possibly a friend.
      I have over 80 family members and various family friends. I’ve been to a lot of weddings, and gotten annoyed many times – can you tell? πŸ˜›

    2. If they also went on and on about the groom’s “purity,” it would make the whole thing even longer, so I guess we can be grateful for that.

  13. First, I was gonna say wedding, because watching the uptight fundies (‘specially the staff of the church) wiggle and squirm when the glasses are clinked over and over requiring the newlyweds to kiss is just hilarious. But then I remembered that the staff usually never stays for the reception, you know, because they’ve gotta be “separate fuh-rumm the world.”

    Then, I was gonna say funeral, because the likelihood of colorful guests goes up by a factor of ten with a funeral, which always makes for some interesting conversations. But, then one of the commenters mentioned the altar calls, and, well…

    So, I thought, wedding, for sure, then, because there’s cake, duh. But, then, I remembered some of those cakes, and the other foods at the pot-luck table in the fellowship hall, and the cheesy decor and the judgmental stares from the deacon’s wives and other Righteous People when some floozy walks by in a sundress. Not to mention the Wayne-Newton wanna-be at the piano…which is what finally decided it for me:

    Funeral. Totally funeral: because of the music. Grief and love bring out family harmonies and the relentless eternal love of God. No where have I felt His presence more fully than at a funeral, when people sing.

  14. I’m going to have to go with the funeral. At least at a funeral, one person–you hope–is bound for glory. At a wedding, you know for sure that at least two people are bound for trouble. The more fundy they are, the more trouble they’re likely to encounter.

  15. I also plunk for funeral because at weddings you stabnd up, sit down, etc., and have to pay attention. At a funeral, you just sit there. It’s an ideal opportunity for me to step into the TARDIS with the Doctor and go off on an adventure in time and space while the fundy nonsense is being touted down front.

  16. My father’s fundie funeral was good. He was a veteran of World War 2 and a military guard was present. His pastor was a rarity among fundie pastors, did not view every event as an opportunity to sell salvation.

    What I find annoying at some fundie funerals, is referring to them as a β€œhomecoming” as if the dead person has left for a trip on a cruise ship and it is somehow wrong to grieve.

    I would still chose a fundie wedding, no one (I hope) had to die to make wedding happen. But both will have bad food, bad music, and windbag attention seeking pastors, poorly dress people and little chance of hooking up with anyone you need at either event. At least the bride will be a divorced MILF in a few years and I might have a change then.

  17. After spending the better part of the day wondering (really, I’m that pathetic), I realized it didn’t matter: I don’t know a single person who would invite me to either. I’ve been well and thoroughly shunned.

  18. A fundy funeral indicates that the person died with the narrow fundamentalist concept of God. Perhaps he or she died with that ingrained disdain for other religions,with fear and loathing of LGBT people, and with a firm belief in their own righteousness. There is hope for change for the fundy couple embarking on a life together. They may see that the fundamentalist emperor is unclothed.Or not.

  19. They are almost exactly the same in structure, content, and organization. Being at one counts as attendance at both. πŸ˜†

  20. I have to thank all of you for the best belly laughs I’ve had all week. I watched the entire vid of the Corner Gas Station and it was great. Some of you owe me a keyboard because I shot ginger ale all over it while reading some of your comments, and mismanaged big gulps, spewing it out involuntarily because so much struck me as funny. Memo to self: don’t read the Friday posts while sipping soda.

  21. Wedding..by far. I also had to lead the singing for my father’s funeral. The MoG turned my dad’s final goodbye into a three ring circus because he wanted to impress other preachers that were there and settle some spiritual vendettas. I’m glad they had closed the casket by then so people couldn’t see my dad rolling over.

    I mean..who shouts and screams and rambles on about Bible stories that had nothing to do with my dad or in any stretch of the imagination, appropriate for a funeral? What really made me upset was there were people who needed to hear the gospel and never got to hear it because they had already tuned out the freak show going on up front. I throw up in my mouth every time I think about it.

    Weddings are much better, because the couple are (usually) there by choice and they are happy. Not everything fundy is bad and horrible, if they have a bright future ahead of them and they are in a church where they are loved and can be happy and serve, then more power to them. I just can no longer ascribe to the legalistic rules.

  22. The fundy world is not limited to IFB’s, for sure. I grew up in a pentecostal church (3rd generation) and as an adult I went to a true IFB church. The only difference is that in the one, people shouted out unintelligible utterances from time to time, everyone felt obligated to “fill the altars” on cue, our young people were duty bound to go to Bible colleges that issued worthless diplomas, any preacher from outside our own ranks was at the very least suspect and usually ignored, we thought we were the only ones that had “the right stuff” and we put absolutely no value on what any other denomination did or said. hmmmm What’s the difference between IFB’s and pentecostals again?

  23. When I got married in a United Methodist Chirch,y Baptist relatives ripped apart the service. We had a high church, liturgical service with the Sacramemt of Holy Communion (we wanted out first meal to be communion). The Baptists wouldn’t partake. When my brother got married in the Roman Catholic Church, my Fundy aunt and grandparents wouldn’t attend. They couldn’t support it.

    1. I know this was a few months ago – but my sister-in-law had the same thing happen to her. Her husband’s family flat out refused to accept communion from them. Made everyone reeeeeeeeeeally uncomfortable. πŸ™

  24. While the weddings usually feature awful music (as almost all weddings do), the service is generally time limited. Funerals unfortunately can feature open mike and other bizarre twists (went to two where we all sang “Sparks for Jesus” as the dearly departed had been Awana leaders . . .).

    1. At my uncle’s funeral, by his request before he died, the church choir sang the Marine Hymn.
      One of the weirdest things I’ve ever experienced.

  25. I would take the funeral. Just the thought of a wedding makes me depressed, I guess since I have been through so many horrible experiences with : fine Christian women that are a child of God, that are looking for a spiritual leader and head of the household that will be a shelter to them in times of trouble.” Yeah, right. After only about 2 weeks that is. And to think I am now 48. Is it ironic that two of the aforementioned were preacher’s daughters. Have we heard people make comments about these who fall into that category before.

    At least at a funeral, it just might be someone who actually had some substance to their life. Such as a great uncle of mine, who fought in the infantry during WW II, came home a total wreck, but was able to gradually pull himself together, without benefit of all of the so called support groups and programs of today. To hear about someone’s life such as this at a funeral just might be uplifting to some. A wedding? Well, the shelf life of marriages gets shorter as the days go by.

  26. I have never said that I accept the extreme fundamentalist. I have always said that I did not agree with the extreme; however I don’ hate them, and I don’t believe it is a good idea to approach them in the way you do here.

    This is farewell for me. I can’t reason with most of you, and you turn everything I say to try to fit your reasoning. I leave with kind and sweet spirit. Wish you all could do the same. Take care and love to all.

    1. I’m pretty sure a sweet & kind spirit is not meant to be self-assessed. Nevertheless, may the Almighty guide your steps as you grow in grace & knowledge.

      1. Kreine…

        I am not self-assessing myself…I am just saying that I am not mad at any of you and I do not hate any of you. You have just proved my point…You take my words and make them to be something that I did not intend them to be. I hope you let Him guide your steps as well!

        1. “I leave with kind and sweet spirit.” Those were your exact words, Jean. That IS a self-assessment. I’m not sure how else your sentence could be understood. How did you intend your words if not to say you had “kind and sweet spirit”?

          I prefer my spirit to be zinfandel.

        2. Semp…

          I tried to be nice and polite in my post to you.
          You and all the others on here can take my words to mean anything you want them to mean, it doesn’t bother to me. I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I have omitted unto Him against that day. Now interpret that any way you want to. Good bye friends.

        3. I don’t understand the point of interacting with people if you refuse to answer simple questions. I asked what you meant and you got nasty. Jean, if you really don’t like us, I don’t know why you stay. If asking for a clarification of your words is so upsetting, then maybe you should ask yourself these questions: Why do I go to SFL? Why do I get in a huff when people disagree with me? Why do I speak in a forum but don’t communicate? I’m trying to be nice by asking what you meant by your “sweet spirit” comment, but you don’t respond in kindness. Instead you tell me to interpret it anyway I feel like. Fine, I interpret it as you really are a fundy who is afraid that maybe people here have figured out the truth about the IFB movement and you have too much to lose by getting out, and that you are looking for a fight to make yourself feel better about your situation.

          If you really don’t like us, don’t come to our house and tell us we’re wrong. That’s bad manners. A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city, you know. You may have offended people on here with your words, like your first comment on this post.

          Also — the word “goodbye”. I do not think means what you think it means. (That’s a reference to a MOVIE, BTW. And a darned funny one. You should watch it.)

  27. Having played at many weddings and funerals, fundy and non-fundy alike, I definitely prefer the fundy funerals over the fundy weddings. First off, for weddings, fundys often choose their family and relations to provide the music, instead of the regular church musicians, without offering the church musicians the right of first refusal. In mainline churches with organists who are members of the American Guild of Organists, the right of first refusal is usually in their contract. Fundys, of course, care nothing about any of that AGO stuff. Secondly, the music selected by the wedding parties is usually safe, sappy romantic music, whereas for funerals it is either left up to the church musician, or something that was the favorite of the deceased is chosen. For non-fundies, it is often a most interesting choice. For the after-ceremony food selection, weddings are more often a catered event, and funeral food is provided by the church ladies. Either way works for me πŸ˜€

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