Fundy Tweet of the Week

Two questions:

1. Is Marc making a distasteful joke about packing the tent beyond legal capacity and endangering kids or is he bragging because he honestly thinks it’s a good thing?

2. What does he hope to gain by tagging @stufffundieslik? Is he really that upset that he hasn’t been featured here in a while?

Update 1 @ 8:42: Distasteful joke it is!

tweet2

204 thoughts on “Fundy Tweet of the Week”

      1. How many kiddies will be guilted and or manipulated to go to the altar, raise their hands or otherwise make some public profession of faith this summer in VBS? How many will be led in the magical prayer and told they are saved? How many will fall prey to the herd mentality and become lifelong altar atheletes who get saved dozens and dozens of time through out their lives because salvation = emotional experientialism but they always have that nagging kernel of doubt as to whether they were sincere enough, if they repented enough, if they prayed enough if they felt it enough. Throught out their lives they will forever be looking for the Salvation Experience. For many of those who are manipulated at an early age to experience something called “being saved” they will always equate guilt with conviction and the need to get saved again, and again, and again…..

        1. The prerequisite to the prayer of salvation, you must really, really mean it.

        2. Although I think you aren’t being serious in that, but I apologize, cause I can’t tell for sure since have heard that so many times before.

        3. Wow. This used to be me. I used to constantly seek the “salvation experience”. I would hear other peoples testimonies and be like “why can’t I have that” and would try to well up an experience from deep within that would allow me to stop sinning, be good, do good etc.

          Now, I just believe. No big flash of light. No weeping or crying at an altar. Just believing & trusting. And I still sin. But now there is no condemnation (it’s not an attitude of “I want to sin and there is no condemnation so lets go do it”, but more “I still sin, but thank God there is no condemnation and through His grace I will overcome it”). When I hear those big testimonies of how God “gloriously saved” someone I kinda roll my eyes and think they are trying to cover up their doubts.

        4. This post, and the subsequent replies, summarize everything I don’t like about evangelicalism and fundamentalism. They’re not really about the gospel; they’re not really about grace. They’re all about the EXPERIENCE. It’s . . . all . . . soooo . . . manipulative . . and it screws up people’s psyches.

        5. @Luke: When I hear about someone being “gloriously saved”, I often wonder (or VERY, VERY quietly ask): “As opposed to what other kind of saved?”

  1. Is it actually beyond legal capacity? Or is he making a joke about it being full and waiting to see who takes the bait?

    I feel very sorry for those who are in there. Not because the tent is stuffy and uncomfortable, but because they will be subjected to IFB teachings.

    Please, Lord, guard the minds and hearts of those precious children.

      1. Yup. *sigh* Fundies get so excited about how childhood is the time when most kids are open to the gospel. It’s the time when they are more easily manipulated by adults, that’s all.

  2. Maybe he tagged SFL in an attempt to ‘take back’ the slogan.

    Although I would have picked something else besides breaking safety regulations to do so.

  3. Fundies have to boast to somebody. If he can corral several dozen kids into a tent for VBS, that is Monte’s rebuttal to you for pointing out his disobedience to the teachings of Christ.

      1. A popular way to do offerings at VBSs is to have a boys’ bucket and a girls’ bucket. Kids come out of pews to plunk their many coins into the offering. By day two the new kids are figuring out and the older kids remembering that all dollar bills and quarters should be exchanged for pennies to increase the weight.

        The contest then isn’t between which team can bring the most offering but which team has the heaviest bucket.

        Almost the funnest part of the day.

        But why? Hmmm.

        As missionaries we have occasionally been the beneficiaries of such copper drives.

        1. At my old fundie church, they would do the same thing. If the boys won, Mrs. MOG would get a pie in her face. If the girls won the MOG would get a pie in the face.

          I my last VBS as a fundie by Thursday the boys were clearly ahead by a long shot. While the kids were in their classes, I caught the MOG moving money from the boys to the girls. I found out that every year the contest was rigged because Mrs. MOG didn’t want to get pie all over her face.

          There were several other things that indicated a lack of integrity in the MOG but for me that was pretty much the last straw.

        2. @ I came out – Gotta be honest, I’d probably lose integrity too if it meant taking a pie in the face for my wife. That said, maybe it should have been between two men if they would never let a take the pie smack in the first place.

        3. *lady

          What is you guys say? George? What does that mean regarding a typo?

        4. John, meet George. George, I can see you’ve already met John.

          The MOG’s move seems motivated by chivalry; however, it’s really not fair to the boys. They should offer up another person if the MOG’s wife doesn’t want to participate.

          (The ability to play the piano as a requirement for a pastor’s wife is often referred to; who knew that having to take a pie in the face was also on the contract?)

        5. If they don’t really want to smack a woman in the face with a pie (and, really, what’s the point of smacking anyone with a pie, besides wasting food?), why not just make the contest about something else?

        6. Fundie entertainment is stuck back in the days of Abbot and Costello. Fundy fun night songs are usually hillbilly-type. Glorification of the slapstick, the messy, and the humiliating.

          Remember, to a fundy, righteous living is pretty much defined as the idealized early 1950’s lifestyle and before.

  4. Looking at another tweet a few hours after this one, I think he may have meant to use a #hashtag rather than @. He said, “Truly stuff fundies like” at that point.

    1. Fundies don’t normally call themselves fundies. Also, the SFL twitter name is stufffundieslik . No e on the end. It would be hard to get that by accident.

      1. Yep, I see after some updates that it was on purpose because he was trying to be funny. Epic fail on his part. I didn’t catch the sarcasm/humor, and assumed he was serious.

      1. If you make a name for yourself in the concrete thinking lunk-headed world of fundamentalism, you can’t expect people to recognize when you are trying to be hyperbolic. πŸ™‚

    1. I don’t think tents have “a legal limit” — that was part of his “humor”, saying something to get the people who post here upset.

  5. I’m sure his local Fire Department would love to pay a visit to this VBS.

    Endangering children “in the name of Geee-susss” will earn him a millstone around his neck.

    1. There’s an old joke that people go to church for “fire insurance.”
      Perhaps these Fundies literally believe they’re fireproof.

      That was my thought until Mr. Monte let on he was kidding. People tend to be a litte touchy when you joke about endangering children, though.

  6. “Jesus Camp II”

    My best memories of VBS were at a Lutheran Church in Northern New Jersey. N o alter calls, no sermons about hell, just some bible stories about god 2.0 (the nice hippie dude).

    1. I went to Methodist VBS as a kid.
      No threats, little to no talk of hell– we just learned Bible stories and songs and memorized a few Bible verses. I have mostly good memories of it.

      1. Sincere question from a clueless outsider: Aren’t all Vacation Bible Schools like that? Pretty innocuous, I mean? A few Bible stories, some cut-color-and-draw time, maybe a skit or two, a few songs, a few verses?

        Is Fundy VBS substantially different? If so, how? Fire-and-brimstone preaching to literally “scare the hell” out of the little bairns? Or what?

        Thanks in advance!

        Diane

        P.S. I apologize for not responding to the folks who greeted me on the forum. I have already forgotten my password, LOL.

        1. Others’ experiences may vary, but, yeah, I heard fire & brimstone preaching at VBS, in addition to a whole lot of the “Jesus died on the cross for YOU; the very least you should do to repay him is give him your heart & life” style guilt.

          Also, many missionary stories reminding us how fortunate we were to live in the USA with access to the Bible as opposed to those poor heathen children who were going to die & go to hell because they’d never even heard the name of Jesus. Oh, and now that we’d heard about Jesus, we had our (maybe only) opportunity to accept him as Savior – don’t let it pass you by!

          Ew, I’m getting squicked out just rehashing that rubbish.

        2. I do recall children at fundie VBS being told their dead unsaved (non fundie Christian) relatives were in hell. One kid ran home and her parent chewed out my ex-pastor.
          It might be a generalization, Mainline Protestants use love to sell their faith, fundies use fear and guilt.

        3. It does depend on the church though. I volunteered one year at a GARBC church’s VBS. Good stories, rooms decorated to look like places Jesus went, and real, live bunnies for the kids to play with. One day they even had a goat there.

        4. Dear CGC, I wrote a short essay in response to your question about the difference(s) inherent in a fundy VBS. unfortunately, it vanished from my iPhone screen before I got a chance to submit it. The only surviving character was a lonely capital K. (See the brief, enigmatic post above).
          I don’t have time to try to type the whole thing again, so to summarize;
          – I was invited to VBS every summer by my best friend. I was a Roman Catholic, parochial school attending altar boy; he was a baptist. We lived in a neighborhood of melting-pot Eastern European immigrants along with a remnant from below the Mason Dixon line who moved to NW Indiana for steel mill jobs. So, our community was mainly Roman Catholic and Greek and Serbian Orthodox with a dash of Southern Baptist.

          My memories of VBS:
          – cut and paste Jesus walking on water towards a group of very unseaworthy disciples STANDING in a tempest-tossed rowboat
          – pledging allegiance to the Christian flag
          – visiting the money changers table to exchange my filthy dollar bill for good, clean temple penny rolls (see “copper drive” comment up thread)
          – my dad, allowing me to go, staunch Catholicism aside, but perceptively noting: “they invite you to go to their church, but they never let (my friend) come with us to mass”
          – flirting with cute girls
          – the extremely kind and patient ladies who kept us for craft/story/game/snack time
          – the very pretty names these ladies had, like ‘Sarah”, “Abbie”, and “Hannah”. (But, not one “Mary” to be found)
          – riding the bus, though we only lived 2 blocks away
          – everyone had a southern accent… The ladies voices were almost musical.
          – the preacher “Brother Boyd” (not a Monk) becoming very frustrated with me and having me removed from my pew (I brought up a question about doctrine which differed from my catechism… Although, I admit, I was probably being a smartass)
          – Taking the walk of shame 2 blocks back to my house, never to return.

          Epilogue: I kept my best friend (we be so ecumenical…), And I married one of those cute girls with the southern accent, who remains my beloved 28 years later.

          VBS: good, bad, and interesting- as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end, Amen.

  7. He’s hoping for comments to use in his sermon when he illustrates persecution against him. It is what ungodly people do to manufacture faux-persecution.
    The equation is, be a jerk x 2 = expected response = persecution.

  8. My question is, why are they in a tent? What’s wrong with holding VBS inside the church? Maybe he doesn’t want all those little “nose “pickers” (that was how our Hyles pastor referred to children) in their nice clean church. πŸ™„

    1. Tents give a false sense of pilgrimage, revival, and renewal. For much the same reason people go camping, or (more significantly) go on religious pilgrimages, the fundy holds Tent Meetings. It fills a sort of psychological need to return to simplicity, as though the tent is a step away from formality and into pure experience.

      Or something. Basically my point is, I don’t know “why,” but I don’t think anyone really does, other than just to say, they have meetings in tents, and clearly it makes them feel good somewhere in their brain stems.

      1. But a lot of good evangelistic meetings do happen in tents, like the Scripture Union Family Missions that occur on NSW coastal towns during summers. They don’t have altar calls, they have a lot of communication with people, connecting them to local churches etc. For some people, it’s just a way to get kids out of the house, but they get to go to a cool puppet show, play some outdoor games and there is no judgment on what the kids are wearing, how they talk etc.

      1. Yep, that’s them. I went on a few missions with them back in early 2000’s. Then I became a fundy and went insane for a few years. Then I became a Christian, but I now live in NZ, so there are no missions for me to go on.

        And that might sound weird that I just said I wasn’t a Christian when I went on them, but it just wasn’t my time. God had experiences planned for me that I learned from and SUFM was one of them. I thought I was a Christian at the time. I may have been, since back then I had a very simple faith, but a lot of the last decade is muddled by false doctrine so that I don’t really remember what I believed a lot of the time. When I left the fundy church and found the grace of God in Christ (again) is when I consider myself converted but it doesn’t matter. I’m not worried about a date.

        Some things I fondly recall of SUFM are the sense of community, love and grace that each other team member exhibited. I often felt I was missing something about God back then, which may have been God prompting me. Unfortunately, what I thought was missing was laws and rules, so I went the opposite direction πŸ™

        1. Great testimony… because it’s honest. Thanks for sharing. It blessed my heart.

    2. If they held VBS indoors, they would actually have to worry about legal capacity, and fire codes, and health and safety and such much. Outside, it all becomes ‘accidents’ and ‘act of God’.

  9. Maybe he’s trying to convince himself that fundamentalism (as it is currently defined) isn’t dying. He draws one “crowd” to one VBS and suddenly, the IFB movement is saved.

    1. Two things. These kids didn’t drive themselves there. Many of these campaigns done in the nearby neighborhood trick people who have no idea what nastiness lurks within fundamentalism. If they did, they would have never dropped their children off there.

      1. Some parents are delighted to have free child care for a week (or whatever period) in the summer.
        They may not know the intangible price their kids are paying for it.

        1. Yeah, I remember hearing that from parents from time to time, that they’re eager for camp just to have a break. It may seem free, but it’s a break with a high cost.

  10. Subsequent tweets by the good doctor:

    “@stufffundieslik Explanation: I thought you’d enjoy the obvious humor. Open sides make the tent both safe and effective. Fundies like VBS!”

    Retweets Ryan King “‏@PastorRyanKing 48m
    It is better to be a follower of Jesus who fails than one who fails to follow.”

    “Humorless people are usually bitter people. Losing the ability to laugh is symptomatic of deep-seated, unresolved resentment issues.”

    Wonder who that last one was intended for? People in glass houses, and all…

    1. Actually, if you’re bitter, you’re not humorless.
      According to the ancient medical theory of “humors,” if you have a bitter disposition, you have an excess of melancholy (black bile) and possibly of choler (yellow bile) in your system.

      If you’re a smug, self-satisfied jerk, you have an excess of sanguinity (blood).

      I’m not naming any names, though.

  11. Maybe they think its a compliment. I started calling a lady (a lady because she wears skirts) “The Church Lady” after the Saturday Night Live skit. The name stuck and she began calling herself that not knowing I was comparing her to the Dana Carvy character.

    To them, maybe the things that are posted are like news to them and we are just the devils tool persecuting them.

  12. Regulations such as “legal capacity” were adopted by godless liberal bureaucrats and shouldn’t stand in the way of preaching the gospel, amen???

    He would probably love to be cited for something like this so that he could claim it is government persecution.

    1. About two years ago (to the best of my recollection) we had the story here of a pastor who fought a long legal battle with his home city because he claimed it was religious persecution when the fire department wanted his church’s school to have its building submit to a fire code inspection.

      Ya don’t need no fire exits when yer leanin’ on the Everlasting Arms, hay-men?

      1. My fundie church built another room (called it the “Upper Room”) above the foyer. For the building permit it was classified as “Storage”. The MOG said that was the truth because they “store people” up there.

        I left shortly thereafter. I did not want to be around when the fire marshal comes to “persecute” them.

  13. Pretty pathetic that the blogster here decided to go on a bender about that little post. And that so many of the commenters followed suit. Get. A. Life.

  14. I think that the good “Doctor” is just baiting SFL. He was obviously hoping that his comments would spark flames over hear…so he could use this as an example of how “humorless” and/or “meanspirited” we are.

    “Doctor” Malone – I get it. I’m glad you were able to pack your tent. I only hope that you were able to show the love of Christ to these children and not use the typical fundy high-pressure, emotional salespitch to get a 6-year-old to “surrender to full-time Christian service”.

  15. Tweets: passive-aggressive
    Attention-needy adult running a VBS: ironic
    Doctorate: fake
    Believing the Bible is inerrant: stupid
    #wishingiwasoutbutimintoodeep

      1. You mean ditto to the hashtag? Get out!!! NOW! I honestly think this pastor is very envious of those who’ve said goodbye to fundamentalism. I think he’s wishing he could, but he’s too entrenched and afraid. I think a lot of IFB leaders have lots of doubts, but their pride keeps them doing what they’re doing. I’m happy that I’ve been out a long time, so the hashtag wasn’t about me. I remember too well feeling that way, though. Luckily I wasn’t in any leadership position. πŸ˜€

  16. I laughed when I saw the first tweet (before scrolling down to the update). I thought it seemed pretty obvious. Tents don’t have a legal capacity. I laughed even more at the comment above that suggested the fire marshall pay him a visit. . .and we thought the Fundies had no sense of humor. πŸ™„

    1. When he mentioned legal capacity, I assumed he was talking about real laws because in modern American, it seems that bureaucrats have rules for everything.

      1. Your comment reminds me of a Facebook repost that I saw several months ago which showed the Obamas left hands over their hearts during the national anthem. The photo was reversed and manipulated to look like they really used the wrong hand. I told the reposter to use some common sense, and use what I call the “absurdity test” on things they see on the internet.

        In this case, legal capacity of a tent is absurd. If you aren’t sure if that really exists, google it. If you aren’t sure if that photo you come across on Facebook is real or not, google or snopes may help.

        I get it that bureaucrats have made rules for just about everything, but you can’t just assume that in every case. There’s still a few things they haven’t gotten to yet, though now that we are talking about it, they might just try.

        1. BTW, I guess I was wrong about occupancy/fire regulations for tents. I’ve never been involved in setup or use of a large tent before.

          I still think the original tweet was just a joke/bait.

    2. It’s really hard to be humorous when children are involved in brain washing into non-biblical, ungodly, pastor worship. My plea above to run is sincere. If you are there, you sit beneath liars, rapists, and thieves. Now, stand up, walk across the tent, grab your child by the hand, and save his life.

      1. I appreciate your concern, but relax. I don’t have to prove anything to you about myself, because I don’t know you. I am not “there” in the tent in any way. I just found it funny that he made a joke and so many took the bait.

    3. It’s not obvious from the picture that was twittered that the tent is open-sided. There’s enough glare that you can’t see outside the tent.

      A closed-in tent most certainly does have a legal capacity if you’re holding a public meeting in it.

        1. I stand corrected. As you demonstrate, in many places all tents have legal capacities.

  17. I dunno. I see this as an attempt to have a little good-natured fun on Monte’s part. Don’t know Monte. Never had lunch with Monte. Never sat in his living room and watched the Rambo series. Never shared a bottle of Pinot with Monte. Don’t know the legal capacity of tents (if there is one) in his neck of the woods. Don’t know what he’s teaching the kids. Don’t know how many invitations he’s having. Okay, I just googled the guy: BoJo grad; adjunct faculty at Pensacola Theological Seminary; received an honorary doctorate from somewhere for his work on exposing radical Islam in America; has a son at PCC; wears white shirts and ties; and so on. Either way, it was a joke, unfunny as it may have been.

  18. I feel sorry for the kids & VBS workers crammed in there. The tents are always a minimum of 10 degrees (F) hotter inside than out.

    At least at my Fundy churches, VBS was conducted within the air-conditioned buildings. πŸ˜•

  19. Fellow SFL Commentators,

    Please don’t take the bait. In reading “Doctor” Malone’s tweets, I am convinced that one of two things is true:

    1. This is truly just an attempt at humor. The picture clearly shows that there are no applicable occupancy regulations (being as there is unimpeded egress). Whether it is really humorful or not is in eye of the beholder, but I can’t blast someone for trying when the truth (that there is no violation) is obvious (at least to those of us in the real estate/construction industry). (I can see, however, that people without that knowledge could have a different reaction.)

    2. The “Doctor” is provocatively baiting us, like throwing red meat to the lions. If we respond how he wishes, then BAM…a perfect illustration of how SFL has no sense of humor and is actively looking for (almost creating) issues to rail against.

    For me, I would be much more concerned if the “Doctor” were to tweet that a dozen 8-year-olds surrendered to preach at the last meeting.

    At least that’s one man’s opinion…

    Bro Bluto

    1. Your point is taken, but I for one am happy to feed “Doctor” Malone’s bitterness of spirit by demonstrating to him my “lack of a sense of humor”.

      (it’s clear he doesn’t love his enemies, if his goal really is to bait people and be “proven right” about them. That’s the mark of a man who doesn’t love, only judges.)

  20. A little research and you discover a tweet from “Dr.” Marc Monte which said:
    “Only psychos feel abused” The context was about accusations of abuse at Bob Jones University.
    Hmmmm… a man speaking to children believes only psychos feel abused. Nice manipulation position, consistent with everything else that comes out of these unaccredited institutions.
    Here’s a screen image of the tweet. http://chucklestravels.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/marc-monti-psychos-feel-abused.jpg

    Here’s the blog.
    http://chucklestravels.com/2013/02/03/dr-marc-monte-tweets-victims-are-psycho/

      1. I wonder wonder if Jackie Boy wrote the Book of Love?

        -Chapter one says, “to love her, you love her with all your core.”
        -Chapter two says, tell her; You’ll never, never, never get a-rid of “That Door”
        -In Chapter three, you ‘counsel’; her husband “just ain’t right”
        -In Chapter 4, Say “Goodnight” by flashing your headlight

        Chorus, and fade…(into ignominy)

    1. Correction: Only psychos and people who have been or are being abused feel abused.

      On the other hand, there’s a high correlation between thinking “only psychos feel abused” and being an abuser of one sort or another.

  21. So this guy packs the tent chock full of vulnerable children hoping to get them to pray a prayer and “be saved.” This notwithstanding the fact that most children have very little idea of what “sin” is, what “salvation” is (or from what). It is a numbers game.

    My IFB church had a few “Tent” VBS meetings in a local park. Lots of concern for the souls of these little ones. Lots of hope to get those kids into AWANA in the fall. The kids would have fun, the adults would exhaust themselves. Joy in the Lord (and in the Koolaid!) all around!

    But when it comes to real life issues, Pastor Marc Monte doesn’t want to hear them. “Only psychos feel abused,” this man has tweeted.

    Want to know more about Mark Monte?

    http://johnshore.com/2013/03/11/pastor-marc-monte-satan-called-loves-your-work/

    Amazing quotes from someone who would tell you that he really believes that Jesus bore our griefs and carried our sorrows! Just so long as you don’t tell anyone about them!

    1. I love that blogger’s subtitle: “Trying God’s Patience Since 1958.” I think I want that written on my tombstone.

      Aside to “Dr.” Monte: Only psychos feel aches in their heads.
      That makes more sense than your claim that only psychos feel abused, anyway.

    2. Yes, it is primarily a numbers game, but, there is also nothing stopping a child from being saved. A child can understand sin and salvation. Personally, I don’t think salvation should be in the context of “only from hell” but from ourselves, from God’s judgment, to Jesus, in Jesus, with Jesus, etc. A child can understand that God loves them, wants them, and bought them. When we make the gospel exclusive to adults, what do we teach the children?

      1. I don’t mean make salvation only accessible to adults. And yes, we *do* need to be saved from ourselves — but a child would not understand that.

        And yes, a child can understand Jesus loves them, but to understand that Jesus had to die for the lie they told (about breaking the lamp)? I am not so sure.

        Growing up in IFB land (or approximations thereof), God was more a God of wrath, ready to hit me for doing wrong (because He “loves” me, of course! You always hit the ones you love!). That view of God started early, and it is often a view of God that fundies portray.

        You give mixed views of God and children won’t understand. Most IFB adults don’t understand the doctrine their preachers spout. They know that “God judges sin,” though and that love is conditional.

        By all means, teach children that Jesus loved them, valued them, and wanted to protect them. Tell them that Jesus died to save them. But it isn’t a prayer that saves them. It is faith God works in the heart.

        And perhaps if we stopped trying so hard to do the work of the Holy Spirit, the Holy Spirit would have room to work in the hearts of people.

        Just my thoughts.

  22. Tents do have legal capacities, and are usually regulated or must seek approval from the local fire departments. Do a google search and you will come across several local municipality guidelines.

    Tents are considered buildings.

    Chairs, tables, speaker platforms, and other obstructions must be considered in arriving at the legal capacity limit. Even if a tent has open sides, if the sides are rolled up, the tent is treated as being a closed tent for these regulations.

    So publicly bragging about exceeding legal capacities is a pretty foolish thing to do.

    1. Just checked this out. Near where I live, you’re supposed allow 7 sq. ft. per person to determine capacity for a tent. Also, tents for large events (I assume VBS counts) are supposed to be inspected by the fire marshall prior to the event in order to verify the tent was erected properly and is the appropriate distance from possible fire hazards.

      Obviously, the regs could be very different wherever Monte is (FL, I’m guessing), but it’s likely that there are regulations that should be followed.

        1. Sing along:

          Hoosier little Tweeter?
          Hoosier Man of God?
          Hoosier little whozit?
          Give Monte “the nod”…

  23. I started to e-mail a link to the tweet to someone in the Avon, IN city government, but thought better of it. God knows I’ve violated some laws in the name of VBS myself. At the time, it seemed justified…

    Sorry, everyone.

  24. does anyone notice the flat out hypocrisy with Fundies? They can use Twitter, go on Facebook , use the internet, but heaven forbid they use a relevant version of the bible, or go to church in jeans, or let woman wear shorts…am I the only one seeing this?

    1. Straining out a gnat while swallowing a camel?

      Oh, absolutely.

      Sort of like the conspiracy theorist ranting about the black helicopters and loss of freedom of speech — but they never come for him or shut him up.

      To fundies, the rules are what they say they are (since they speak for God, don’t you know!). And the world is a terrible thing, unless it gives them conveniences. It is still terrible for everybody else.

      I remember a pamphlet from way back on the evils of paperback books! Yes, way way back! If I remember correctly, it was a multipage pamphlet stapled in the middle — making a paperback book!

      So you have it absolutely right.

      1. No, no. We are not stereotyping. The fact is that pretty much all of us here are operating out of experience. We have experienced IFB-ism, each in our own separate IFB churches and schools.

        We know it well.

        The fact that you go to an IFB church that does not have a problem with “pants” on women is remarkable. Perhaps you don’t go to an IFB church as much as you go to an IfB church. Little f, for kinda fundamentalist.

        Not that every IFB church has the exact same foibles. But there are common themes. All you have to do is look at their web sites, receive their emails, etc. They themselves are the cause for their perceptions.

        Hey, my former IFB pastor was not exclusively KJV. He likes the ESV, the English Standard Version. But to him it is one or the other, nothing else.

        And despite the fact that my former IFB pastor was a “nice guy,” the longer he has been a pastor the more closely he tends to follow IFB fads, including the tendency toward Calvinistic viewpoints.

        In any case, glad to have you around! You might find it fun to be here! What’s more, you may find yourself uncomfortably familiar with some of the topics (as we all do). Hope you will share! It’s therapeutic.

        1. Yes.

          There are IFB churches that we call “fundy-lite” and others that we call IFBX for extreme. The ones I attended were usually more of the lite variety, but the extreme ones exist as well.

  25. Let me preface my comment: I have 5 month old twins who don’t allow me to sleep more than 2 hrs. at a stretch, so somewhere along the way, I’ve had a break with reality, but . . . Could it be he actually likes this site and was trying to contribute something after Darrell’s request for submissions a couple weeks ago? When Monte came to PCC during my years there, I usually (time he implied Obama is a closet Muslim, excepted) thought he was a more moderate Fundy.

  26. His brother Mike and I were roommates during their first year at Bob Jones (my second. . .and last). As well as I remember, they both seemed about as moderate as members of the Jack Hyles tape of the week club could be; as Mike said – at least they only got one tape a week and not every service. πŸ™„ I wasn’t as impressed as they seemed to think I should be. I had heard Hyles preach in person a number of times, and even as a KoolAid drinking Fundy, I never understood why people were so enamored with him. Also, I guess that growing up in a church and school run by a Hyles wannabe, HAC grad, First Baptist Hammond acolyte who swapped wives with my class sponsor and took off halfway through my senior year of high school might not have helped me see him in the same light they did.
    Mike did teach me a portmanteau word that I’ve liked and used occasionally ever since, though. He told me that when people were standing around for an extended time (usually before and after a church service) talking and trying to out Christian each other, their mom would say that they were just bullshipping.

  27. More tweets from the good doctor:

    “These happy kids won the dragon awards for bringing visitors. Bring your KJV Bibles for a prize tomorrow! pic.twitter.com/3Wan7M2QTa” (Dragon awards? Isn’t satan a dragon in scripture? Or is it “dragon” people to Jesus??)

    “Sporting their KJVs! Our kids love VBS! #lovingchildren&preachingChrist pic.twitter.com/G4ta9BE5yB” (Kudos for the diversity.)

    “@kelliannmonte Glad for a wife who is excited about domestic arts. No butched hair and briefcase around here! #virtuouskeeperathome” (Wait. What?)

    “@kelliannmonte Loves her Betty Crocker Cookbook and her KJV! #homesweethome” (If Ward Cleaver was IFB and had a Twitter account, …)

      1. While I am pretty sure this is a coincidence, I would NOT bet on it.

        I am willing to give the benefit of the doubt — to a point. But some of these IFBers are also as racist as can be, and it is not unknown for some of them even today to defend the KKK.

        Hey, even leaders at the Southern Baptist Convention did earlier this year! And if that “liberal” group (according to IFB standards) defends the KKK, then sure it has lots of support among some IFB people.

        So, your comment may not be as πŸ‘Ώ as you think. 😈

    1. I noticed yesterday he was at 991 or something like that. I thought his poke was an attempt to hit 1000. Hope he gets it so that his life will be complete.

  28. I got saved at a local charismatic church’s VBS when I was 8. Earlier that day, I had kicked a girl for taking the ball I was playing with.

    She shouted at me, “That’s not very Christian of you!”

    I gave her the hairy eyeball and said, “I’m not a Christian, I am an Episcopalian.”

    1. Tonight at my home we will have a ceremony. I’m receiving my honorary doctorate. I’m so proud of myself! I never thought I’d be a doctor… I think I’ll be a medical doctor, maybe a family physician. Tomorrow, if you would, please refer to me as The Doctor is Awake.
      My first of many books will be “How to be a Doctor in a Warehouse – A How-To Guide of Workplace Amputations”. Maybe I should print my own books, start my own publishing company because no honest publisher would print my book.

      Seriously, I couldn’t imagine anything more embarrassing than explaining that I had a fake “DR” in front of my name. Maybe that’s why they don’t go beyond their own little circles.

  29. Monte writes: “Explanation: I thought you’d enjoy the obvious humor.”

    Oh sure, because Monte is really into sharing a joke with his good pal Darrell.

    And besides, WHAT humor? How is a photo of a tent full of kids captioned by the braggadocio of a fundy preacher comedic in any way?

    Again, I say he was just bragging to prove something to Darrell. You’d have to think like a spiritually bankrupt fundy preacher to figure out what.

    1. Reading between the lines:

      “Hey, @stufffundieslik just wanted to show you that while you may have your followers of rebels and backslidden reprobates… I have control over the minds of a tent full of children who I can mold into ‘True’ IFB disciples. Just thought I’d share that with you.” – Dr Monte

  30. Tagging SFL is an indication of an ego driven man who likes being the center of attention. That’s hardly a good quality for a pastor. And besides that, he’s an idiot.

    1. Gee, HH, why did I know before reading your post that you were a troll?

      Can you enlighten us all why it’s so great to break the law and brag/joke about it? I suppose if you git ’em all “saved” it’ll be okay if there is a tent fire or a tent collapse and people die, right? Because it’s all for Jeeeesus, ayyyyyyymmmmmmmmenn? And if any

    2. Ah, so fundy preachers acting like trolls on the internet are right and just, but those who disagree with them…

      LOL, gotta love when they trip over their own double standards πŸ˜› πŸ˜†

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