Because if there’s one thing we never, ever see anywhere in the book of Acts, it’s women doing anything ever.
“Mrs” Cathy Corle is probably the only person on the list who earned her title.
I’m not even supposed to READ the article?
I know. Weird. Maybe I should find a copy, read it, and write a review. Then send the review to Dr Araiza. And choose a pen name that is androgynous. Then after getting a response, let him know I’m a woman. 😈
Nope, ladies are contained to page 2, no need to move any farther inside.
What kind of activities?
Bus ministry, camp ministry, VBS, Awana, Bible Clubs, etc (Duh) 😉
Where’s the roll over?
Is the article coated in powdered Rogaine, or something?
Dr. Gipp, Dr. Arazia, Dr Mallonee.. and…. Mrs Corle?
Don’t they hand our the “doctorates” to women?
No.. guess not…
HAC once gave an honorary doctorate to Dr. (actual Ph.D.)Cowling’s wife once, but no one ever calls her “Dr. Cowling”. Interestingly enough, they also gave the Mr. an honorary doctorate because somehow, his real one didn’t “mean anything”.
I believe John R. Rice’s horse was given an honorary doctorate once by Hyles-Anderson. But I think the horse was a guy horse.
I would imagine it would have to be a stallion. Honorary doctorates of the IFB kind are certainly not for women or the emasculated.
Maybe there’s a restraining order or some other court order involved…
That was my thought, but since I just got back from a visit to the County Courthouse, I figured that was what triggered the idea.
Why is there an ellipsis before the woman’s topic?
because it’s just there as an add-on. Not important…
I can’t believe you even asked. LOL.
I’d rather have an update on Bob Hoover. That was the name I thought I saw the first time I looked.
I’m not sure which name is worse. Rather unfortunate…
It’s like when you have a bunch of little boys making their own club: “NO GILRS ALLOWED!!!!” (misspelling intentional.
They’ve got caps AND parentheses. They are SERIOUS! NO GIRLS ALLOWED!!!
I almost want to go just so I can get chick cooties on them. I’d even wear pants and a low-cut top for giggles.
How stupid. My lack of parentheses was NOT intentional. Hmph.
With apologies to the Little Rascals, it’s known as the HE-MAN WOMEN-HATERS CLUB. Come to think of it, in the case of these “Doctors”, it should be the SELF-RIGHTEOUS SCRIPTURE-PERVERTING PHONY-DOCTOR WOMEN-HATERS CLUB. At least that would be truth-in-advertising.
Darrell–I can’t seen to find the article online. Any idea why women aren’t allowed?
I don’t want to know for sure, but I would guess/assume that there’s a lot of talk of how to keep dominion over women in general and specifically your wife & daughter(s).
Because there is no better way to honour Mother’s Day than to make it clear that you falsely consider your mother to be useless for God’s work.
Oh joy, two talks on motherhood.
These used to make me feel soo freakin’ wonderful when I was IFB, surrounded by quiverfull friends, and infertile.
😥 That sounds familiar.
“Update on Dr. Bob Hooker” I need to know more!
What’s with the random order of page numbers? Any chance the table of contents is on page 7?
Sam Gipp is obviously the most important, so his article goes first. Women are least important, so that article goes last. Proper tables-of-content are of the world because they’re egalitarian, obviously.
I hope none of you ladies is cheating by reading this, because it’s Just for Men. 😈
“With the Corles At Home in Heaven”?
They live in heaven?
Google Maps shows it as a street in San Antonio:
That link doesn’t work, so you’ll have to take my word for it. 🙁
Aren’t the Vision Forum people in San Antonio, too? We should arrange a Grand Tour of Fundamentalist Weirdness, sort of like the houses of the stars tours in Hollywood.
No, “At Home in Heaven” is a header. It has nothing to do with the header “On the Road”. “At Home in Heaven” is probably their obituary of some sort.
Ah, the “Helpmeet” reference. Any serious Fundy publication worth its weight in Lot’s wife’s salt should have at least one variant of “help meet.” Two words or one? The choice is yours, really, as made-up words offer lots of leeway in usage.
“Helpmeet” aka the continuance of female subjugation in the name of religion.
God awful, damnable mentality.
I know I can’t be the only one who, when reading the title “Just For Men”, immediately thought of something extremely unprintable. 😈
And with the tract records of several preachers, it would not be so far off. 🙁
It’s so controlling. It’s one thing to have different seminars for men and women at conferences, but to publish something in print and they say, “Oh, you ladies, you can’t read this” seems so uber-authoritative and kind of silly.
One can write content that addresses men so the reader understands that it is written for men without having to try to warn away all women from reading it.
I was thinking of the Other Kind of Unprintable, heh-heh-heh. 😈 But on further thought, this kind is more appropriate.
“Your Preacher Called”
Is the idea here that the pastor is calling my house and leaving messages for me? It’s sort of a strange heading.
‘Your One Chance’: Get saved now, youth, or you will die!
‘Activities of a N.T. Church’: Preaching and soul-winning; but if you are a woman doing this, you should die!
‘A Mother’s Best Gift’: Your mother loves you so much she sent the preacher to save your soul, so you wouldn’t die!
‘…Mininstry of Mom’: nothing of importance here. Unless you’re raising future preachers, then make sure they don’t die!
Is this published by the people at http://www.revivalfirespub.org?
Either way, that’s a pretty good candidate for FWOTW. The “Revival Fires! Baptist College section alone is full of fundy win. Complete with a RevFires@aol.com email address.
barf. gag. My biggest problem with this thing is the subtle implication that womanhood = motherhood and nothing more. The seminar about being a helpmeet should focus on, I don’t know, a woman’s relationship to her husband? Not her role as a mommy.
While my husband and I are currently child-free, I have been watching more and more of the fundy friends I grew up with get married and start pushing out babies less than a year later. Here’s what I’ve told a couple of them (in much politer and more tactful words) after getting fed up with their mommybombing on Facebook:
A. Stop treating your husband like a sperm donor. I understand that you want kids, but when all you can talk about is cervical mucus, ovulation day, and sperm-safe lubrication, you’re missing out on the main point of intimacy. The Bible describes the sexual union as a picture of Christ and the church. That picture works with or without children.
B. You have an identity apart from your kids. I hope. What happens when that child rebels, grows up, takes a job halfway around the world, develops brain cancer? When you make your children your life’s work, you are selling yourself and them short. The greatest gift my mom gave me was to develop interests and pursuits beyond me, her only child. I’m glad I don’t have to deal with the pressure of being her only interest.
C. You have not accomplished anything just because you performed a biological function. Dogs do it, horses do it, cows do it. Congrats.
I’ve only heard one fundy sermon about childfree women (the rest never acknowledged the existence of such a freak). That one sermon involved the pastor offering to bring the deacons over to the house of any woman who couldn’t conceive, so they could anoint her head with oil and pray over her. He threw in a lot of success stories about how this had worked in the past for his other congregations. Something didn’t set well with me about this . . still doesn’t. I also didn’t appreciate the assumption that any women without children is desperate for them.
I’m guessing that most of those “success stories” always happened about nine months later, often involved the younger, more attractive wives, and that said “successes” bore an increasing resemblance to the pastor or deacons involved… 🙄
exactly. Whether or not illicit hanky panky was literally going on, I always felt like this was a case of Pastor stepping in where Husband belongs.
How many bets that Sam Gipp’s “Your One Chance” that’s “Just for YOUth” involves a sad, sad story of an unsanctified teen dying in a car crash, and the burden of guilt which his friend, who didn’t share the gospel with him the night before, must now carry for the rest of his days?
If you’re in or near Savannah GA, how about a nice hot Krispy Kreme donut with a cuppa coffee? That “dying in the car wreck” story is an old warhorse with a lot of life left. 🙄
as in, it’s a horse that’s been beaten to death already? sorry, couldn’t resist
It’s a gang of preacher-boys beating a wet spot on the pavement. There used to be a horse there.
Well said, Der Berater!
After reading your post, I couldn’t stop thinking about this video:
hey, it’s the girl from The Big Bang Theory and Geek & Sundry, right?
This made me snort chocolate vanilla rooibos tea out my nostrils. Thank you for that 😆
From Teavana? I love that stuff!
I LOVE Garfunkel & Oates! Very hilarious! I don’t watch BBT, and a friend had it on, and looked VERY confused when I said “that’s the girl from Garfunkel & Oates”, which technically is more accurate.
Both of them have been on The Big Bang Theory. The blonde played the crazy graduate student who was obsessed with Sheldon in “The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem” a while back and most recently the other one as Raj’s girlfriend.
Actually, I HAVE heard a woman say something grossly similar to “don’t care if it’s brain dead as long as it has a penis.”
She had her u/s appt. scheduled, and after having three boys said darkly, “Well, we’re prepared for the worst,” meaning, we’re prepared for another boy.
Those of us who really *had suffered the worst found that attitude beyond sickening.
I like the part where one woman starts telling about all the great stuff she’s doing, and the other says, “Everything seems so shallow and meaningless compared to me being pregnant.” (I’m summarizing.)
I’ve run into variations of that from pregnant women, new mothers, and new fathers more times than I can count.
Ah, mommyjacking. http://now.msn.com/mommyjacking-when-moms-hijack-your-facebook-feed
Parents sometimes forget that their little angels are more like little Daleks to everyone else.
whenever I need my faith in humanity restored, I head on over to STFU parents.com to reassure myself that I’m not the only one bothered by it. http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/tagged/MommyJacking
Araiza’s LinkedIn page is fun;
“Our preaching and teaching is from the Authorized King James Version 1611.” I beleeue hee may not want to keepe saying that, as lying is euill.
Surprised that he didn’t mention his doctorate in the education section. Really surprised.
I find it interesting that all these fundy preachers say they are preaching from the 1611 KJV, when they are actually using the 1769 update. Just sayin.
The kjvo movement wikipedia page reflects this.
See the caption on the church sign and statement at the end of the article.
“Movement adherents typically use the 1769 revision rather than the original 1611 version, which contains apocryphal books as well as a much more difficult language.”
Please tell me this isn’t a current edition. It looks like something left in the back of a cupboard for the last twenty years.
More like the last sixty years.
I found the website:
Get all these guys in a room and I imagine the introductions sound like this. HAHAHA, the best line is at the end, “We’re not doctors!”
For the record, this Revival Fires is the same one where Dennis Corle wrote a touching “farewell to an old friend” to Matthew Jarrell, after he killed himself in his jail cell after being arrested for allegedly kidnapping and sodomizing a woman. (And wasn’t his first arrest for sexual assault).
I’m not sure I want to read anything in this paper that is “just for men only.”
But Jarrell sure was a soul winner, according to Corle.
BARF! This piece of toilet paper is 100 times worse than the Sword.
Just to emphasize your parenthetical point, it wasn’t *a* woman, it was several women Jarrell kidnapped and raped. He carried a “rape kit” around in his car. And the last assault happened while he was traveling at his church’s expense, supposedly attending a conference in a different state.
Here’s the tribute that appeared in “Revival Fires” after Jarrell’s suicide:
I knew I had heard his name before, couldn’t remember where. Blech.
This use to be my favorite fundamental paper. Enjoyed just about every article. Even took a course in the correspondence college. I probably would have went further if I had had the money.
Men should consult their Doctor to determine if they are healthy enough for N.T. Church Activities, women who are pregnant or may become pregnant should not handle N.T. Church Activities because of the risk of a rare birth defect. Any N.T Church Activities involving preaching longer than 4 hours require the immediate attention of an Honorary Doctor. Do not engage in N.T. Church Activities if you take Nitrates for chest pain as this could result in increased risk of death in a buffet line. Common side effects of N.T. Church Activities include headache, dizziness, dry mouth, diarrhea, vomiting, or death. If you experience any of these symptoms or if you have throughts of neo-evangelicalism please contact your honorary doctor immediately.
^^^ Thread winner
I was checking for new comments before I leave for work, and noticed the Random Post at the top of the page is http://www.stufffundieslike.com/2009/12/diploma-mills/
It seems appropriate considering Revival Fires Baptist College
As for the dated look of this paper, it seems to be it’s trademark. The 2/15/13 SFL post, Doctors Redux gives another example of Revival Fires’ 1940’s-1950’s era style. I think it’s done on purpose to identify with the ‘old paths’ religion they promote, and Fundy’s fantasy-nostalgia-fixation with that era.
Also, I read a comment on Doctors Redux post that Dennis Corle left his 1st wife for his secretary. Is this Mrs. Corle the ex-secretary/#2 wife? Is that true?
I have heard that the current Mrs. Corle is not the original Mrs. Corle. I don’t know the story.
It doesn’t make much of a difference to me but I think it is interesting how the rules are applied differently to Mogs.
For regl’r ‘ol church goers divorce and remarriage is a permanent disfigurement, a mark. They are shamed and in a lot of churches not even allowed to teach Sunday School. If they happen to be a Mog they get to travel around the country preaching.
I, too, can confirm that “Dr” Corle is divorced & remarried, but I don’t know the details, either.
You do know that his sister is famous/infamous, right?
@AW, My inquiry was along the same lines as your reply, if true…Will Fundy preacher’s double-standards never cease to amaze!! Your observation on divorced and remarried church members sadly rings true in many churches.
@GR, Jennie Corle Nischik, of Jack Hyles’ scandal fame? I had always wondered if they were related.
Isn’t Rogaine just for men?
It’s prescribed off-label for women all the time…by god-hating, liberal, compromising dermatologists! 😆
I guess that makes dermatologists liberal
Since “just for men” is hair and beard coloring for men, his article must clearly be an argument for the church-wide hair dying of men. Ladies need not read, lest they figure out the conspiracy to ‘gone the grey’. But isn’t the grey head the crown of old men according to the bible?
The grey head is a crown of glory, if it be found in the way of righteousness. Proverbs 16:31
Thanks for that verse!
From now on, my pigment-attenuated hair shall be referred to as my “crown of glory” (“crown of splendor” in the NIV).
What about bearded ladies? I call Discrimination against Circus Americans! 😛
In England some doctors (surgeons) carry the title Mr. rather than Dr. My husband and I were confused about that so my eye surgeon briefly explained it this way: years ago surgery was done by barbers and butchers as well as doctors. The university-trained surgeons wanted to avoid being taken as barbers or butchers, so they opted to take the title of Mr. and leave the title Dr. to the untrained.
Not quite, but close. 😉
UK surgeons, historically, did not need to be Doctors first, so many surgeons were only ever “Mr”. Now, of course, one must (in almost all cases) qualify as a Doctor before becoming a surgeon. Many Surgeons revert back to “Mr/Mrs/Ms” after sitting their surgical examinations (FRCS). This reversal of titles is now mainly done as a tradition.
The bit about “university-trained surgeons wanted to avoid being taken as barbers or butchers” is not true, and is probably a bit of a myth/joke.
Like I said, that’s what he told us. Thanks for the rest of the story. I hope Mr. W. is better at surgery than history because he is cutting on my eye tomorrow. 😯
Ow. Ow. That rollover text makes me hurt. Especially if “Dr.” Oliver Araiza is doing it himself.
Ha anyone ever heard of any of the people preach? I can’t find any of their sermons online.
I’ve heard Sam Gipp. He has a website http://samgipp.com/
I’m warning you, it’s pretty hateful stuff.
I know ‘Dr’ Mallonee personally. He’s a nice enough fellow but is preaching style is exactly like you would imagine it to be. Long winded and often off topic. And he can sing, so he brings it all to the table. 😉
sort of like TBN personalities Benny Hinn and Clearance McClendon. Hinn CAN sing, just not as good as Alvin Martinez.
I saved a bunch of money by switching my car insurance to Geico.
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