Holy Relics

If you sign up now for the The Old-Time Religion Conference you can get none other than a copy Jack Hyles’ ordination certificate! (A double portion of Jack’s spirit not necessarily included.)

I especially like the bit in their advertising on the website that says “If you call yourself a true fundamentalist, this is where you will want to be.” Who could turn that down?

Thanks to Chuck and Marie for both passing news of this along.

182 thoughts on “Holy Relics”

    1. I thought this was some old newspaper you dug up, until I see that the date is THIS year. Scary.

        1. I agree. There is NOTHING appealing about that. I don’t think you could PAY me to sit under someone who preached like that. It’s intimidating and scary, imo.

      1. wow–I’m almost surprised the SOL sunk so low as to print it

        Smoth should know better than to promote Tom Neal

  1. Oh, my!!! Look ladies, there is a “ladies'” tea! Think of all the awesome pearls of wisdom we stand to learn!!! Let’s get signed up right now… NOT, where is that vomit giff when you need it? I, too saw that the ad looks ancient, I guess that is on purpose, they don’t want to be mistaken for any of those liberal compromisers with their full-color, worldy-appealing ads… 🙄 🙄 🙄

    1. Ladies Tea – Is that where we learn how to be even more submissive to our husbands?

    2. You won’t just be going to the tea ladies. If you scroll through the pictures you will find a picture of some ladies serving food to the men. The very next picture is of all the men sitting down and eating. This is the old time way. Don’t you dare question it.

      1. You had to mention pictures, didn’t you. And I just had to go look. 🙄

        I know it’s been mentioned here before, but why do they all think the 4-point thing in their coat pocket looks good? And the picture of the fundy boy with the tie and slicked hair getting his Bible signed…poor kid. 🙁

        1. I made the mistake of clicking on the additional images, too.


          This would be an excellent opportunity for some creative Photoshop. I’ll have to see what I can do this evening.

  2. “And early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them.” John 8:2

    If that ain’t “old time preaching” I don’t know what is. Maybe some of these “doctors” just need to sit down and teach.

    1. It seems everyone young woman in the photographs refuses to stand up straight. Could it be they have been trained to be so submissive, they must always feel they must be in a bowed position.

    2. Thanks for the link. This church used to send out a publication called “The Baptist Contender”. Many joked it could have been called “The Hyles Defender”. The majority of each issue was primarily about Jack Hyles. It suddenly stopped with no explanation.

  3. And theys all drs ‘n such. Them fellas musta be real smart wit all dat book learning.

    1. I recently saw this quote from Mark Twain about honorary doctorates:
      “It pleased me beyond measure when Yale made me a Master of Arts, because I didn’t know anything about art…I rejoiced again when Missouri University made me a Doctor of Laws, because it was all clear profit, I not knowing anything about laws except how to evade them…And now at Oxford I am to be made a Doctor of Letters–all clear profit, because what I don’t know about letters would make me a multi-millionaire if I could turn it into cash.”

    2. With all those honorary doctors there, it would be an exceptionally safe place to have an honorary heart attack or some other honorary medical emergency.

    3. Makes me think about a Methodist preacher I knew who actually EARNED his doctorate. He hated to be called “Dr.” He got up in the pulpit one Sunday (yes, I was there) and said “My name is Tom, not Dr. Bickerton.”

      1. When our pastor first came to the church 30 years ago, (He has an actual Ph.D.) one of the deacons put his name on the marquee as Rev. Dr. XXXX XXXXX. He walked in the next day and said “Who did that? Please remove it. Just put my name.” And he has been known as his first and last name all these years. Everyone here would probably recognize his name, but most would not know that he was Dr. and I am glad of that.

  4. Someone the other side of the pond explain to me why it shows a man landing aggressively on the hand of a seated man who looks like Hitler. I just don’t get it.

    1. It’s a George Bellows lithograph from the early 1900s showing the showman preacher Billy Sunday. The men writing might be reporters. I love how Bellows shows the different reactions in the audience: scared, angry, swooning, indifferent, laughing, bored, in love, etc.


        1. Fundies definitely believe in a form of Vanguardism. Fundy U teaches this in a form modified for fundystan. I wonder if there are any other connections between Lenin and the fundies?


          “In the context of revolutionary struggle, vanguardism is a strategy whereby an organization (usually a vanguard party, though not always) attempts to place itself at the center of the movement, and steer it in a direction consistent with its ideology.”

    2. I don’t know what the Hitler doppelganger is doing underneath the pulpit looking out, but questions like that are going to quench the spirit, so just attend and encourage the preacherman, hay-men?

      Judging from the fact that there is a third man in the picture, I’m going to guess the artwork is supposed to be some kind of mosaic. Billy Sunday preaching, George Mueller praying (?), and Dietrich Bonhoeffer writing! 😯

    3. Because like Hitler, the preacher is another demagogic leader of a fascist organization that berates its followers. It all fits into what Eric Hoffer wrote about in his book “The True Believer”

    1. I was wondering that. Would I have to take my ordination certificate as proof? (Although it might wither next to the famous replica)

      1. Well…….in fundystan the only requirement for being a preacher is the assertion that you are in fact a preacher.

        Noone has ever asked to see my ordination certificate. Not even the IRS. When I was back in fundystan being ordained entitled one to considerable tax breaks. Now it is a relic that I hang on to for reasons I don’t fully understand.

        1. They did ask for mine at the County Registrar’s Office so I could get a legal permit to perform weddings.

  5. The Young Preacher’s Fellowship – Where preacher boys can learn how to get paid by yelling at and berating the very people who pay them.

    1. Nice observation Scorpio! It really is a beautiful thing, no? 😀

      I want a job where I can yell at my boss and be paid and congratulated for it!

      1. And those people will also pay for you to go to conferences like this so you can hear how much better you are than them.

  6. I love how the clip art they used for the “preacher” looks more like an auctioneer…which quite honestly is closer to the truth of what these guys do than preaching. Cheap salvation going once….twice…

    1. Most excellent observation!
      “Up for sale now is a nice unused bit of salvation.
      Whattaya gonna give for it?
      Do I hear $20? Who’s gonna star us off with an opening bid? Com’on now don’t make me break out 57 verses of ‘Just as I am.”

  7. Also note: ” If you call yourself a true fundamentalist, this is where you will want to be.” In other words, you’re not really “one of us” if you don’t attend. SFL: Judging via the web even if they’ve never met you.

  8. The thing that grabbed our attention (kudos to glenn for showing me the ad) was that attending preachers get a copy of Jack Hyles’ ordination certificate.

        1. I think we should all receive copies of all of Darrell’s self-awarded doctorates and of his fundy U degree as a token of our loyal readership… 🙂 😛

    1. I’m thinking I might just send my ordination paper in to Shelton Smith. He could just wipe his brow with it and send it back. It will save us all time and money

  9. Beat this everyone!! I sat under the preaching of 3 of these men at different times from the same church. Campbell, Belcher, and Smith all came from Church of the Open Door in westminster md. Belcher is still the pastor there. Man, does he have some problems!

      1. For starters, type norris belcher into this sites search bar. Don did a great job of detailing his insanity at the sword of the lord conference.

  10. “Ladies’ Tea with Mrs. Kelli Campbell.”

    I’m pleased they used the apostrophe correctly, but using her first name with her married title and his last name indicates her husband is dead. I don’t know who Mrs. Kelli Campbell is–is she, in fact widowed?

    (And, yes, I know it’s the old fashioned rule–but the ad’s ALL ABOUT being old-fashioned, so they should do it properly.) Ha, it’s like the Fundy SCA.

    1. I noticed that they did not follow the same rule when they wrote “Young Preacher’s Fellowship.” I assume more than one young preacher will attend!

  11. Heh, this is my family’s church (well, not my older siblings’–they’re all leaving this month!). One of my goals this year is to not talk to my mom around this time so I don’t have to hear about it. 😈

  12. Does anyone really *want* a double portion of Hyles’ spirit? Even a half portion? I know I don’t.

    1. A double portion of Jack’s spirit was only available on the other side of the secret office door.

  13. okay….the copy of the ordination certificate is because of his reputation. Just to clear out any doubt, I suppose. I like tea, but a bunch of “ladies” in their flower-patterned dresses acting all feminine is a rather nauseating thought. The whole idea of what is feminine in fundyland is so cliched. Somewhat long hair, but never not luscious long, all the way down your back, unless it looks dowdy. Heels, including what my teen age son calls stripper heels. Someday in heaven, I’ll learn how to walk in those. Using the word “dear” a lot. Cross-stitching types. No blue or purple highlights (those were my favorite ones ever when I had them!!)
    Soft spoken. Thinking themselves to be models to the world.
    I think, looking at the “art”work, more of a Saloon type bar where the “ladies” can sit on stools and have a good talk over a cold beer. Or over a Vi shake, for that matter. 🙄 🙄

    1. that is, softspoken until you step on their toes, even unintended. Then the snake poison comes out.

  14. Ewww this whole thing makes me wanna puke… The guy at the pulpit, you can just hear the fire and brimstone, yelling and hollering, I get a headache just from looking at it. 😳 🙁 😥

  15. I think this is Tom Neal’s church. This is the church that made news recently because the pastor’s son., also a pastor on staff (IFB Dynasty) was secretly videotaping girls getting changed. As I recall, a member of the church found oen of the tapes and turned it over to Tom Neal, who “promised t take care of it.” The tape was then hidden away until the statute of limitations had elapsed. So pervert son and pervert dad and just completing the whitewash job with the help of other obliging fundies preachers who will give Tom and Greg a generous coating of respectability to cover up their gross sin.


    1. you mentioned that the fundy way might be addictive. I never thought of that. I’d be interested to hear your or anybody else’s thoughts on that. It probably is just meant as a joke, but since I can’t figure out why we overlooked so many things over the years…food for thought on my end.

      1. Addicts redefine their reality with the addictive substance as the panacea for all their deepest issues. For alcoholics, alcohol isn’t the addiction so much as being drunk; for druggies, isn’t so much as being high.
        The fundy way is more insidious than most: not only does it promise that your deepest issues can be ignored or miraculously fixed, it also gives you a sense of superiority. Fundamentalism builds new patterns of thought, both positive and negative; to leave “the way” you have to break all those patterns. To do that, you must become the very thing you despise – one of “those people out there” who are compromisers of the faith, quitters who didn’t have what it took to stay in the fold. That’s a pretty big leap, and it challenges our tolerance for cognitive dissonance. Always much easier to maintain the status quo of following the fundy way, even though it doesn’t allow us to interact meaningfully with reality. If that’s not addiction, I don’t know what is…

        1. wow, you explained that really well. I’m floored. Here we were, running the Reformers Unanimous addiction program on Friday night. That is very hilarious, and sad at the same time. I’ll go with hilarious, since thankfully the wretched system broke our backs, things got complicated, and all of a sudden we just stood there on the outside.

    2. I am appalled that Greg Neal is preaching at this conference.

      When the DA comes back and declares that there is overwhelming evidence that Greg Neal is guilty, and the ONLY reason they are not prosecuting him is that the statue of limitations has run out, Greg Neal should be removed from the pastorate. Other pastors, if they love God and the truth, should refuse to associate with Greg Neal.

      1. I bet the “copy of Hyles ordination” is actually copies of the footage of the women in Neal’s office. We all know thats what kind of ordination ceremony Hyles actually had.

  16. I’m still trying to understand “REAL AND REVISITED”.
    If you revisit something, doesn’t that mean you left? Are the good Doctors admitting to being in a backslidden condition and needing to return home?

    Or is the revisited part somehow not real? (Kind of like their version of church/Baptist history.)

    1. It seems to posit two kinds of religion: real, and revisited. So the old-time relgion was apparently not real. Hmmm.
      Sort of makes the conference anti-old-time-religion, doesn’t it?

  17. I am SO happy to report that I have been out of fundyism so long that I don’t recognize any of the names of the ‘special speakers!” :mrgreen:

  18. I can’t get past the title – should be “Olde Tyme Religion”

  19. wow. an actual newspaper…with full page ad. i thought those were extinct!

  20. Well, that looks like a perfect storm of awful. I’m having a hard time remembering why I used to go to conferences of my own volition…

    1. It is a storm of awful on the other conferences. Just a lot of preaching to the choir, a lot of trumpeting of “old paths,” and not much you could actually use.

      I suppose that makes me “bitter” or “not right with God.” If this is what “right with God” means, I quit, because I don’t want to spend heaven with a God who yells a lot and doesn’t even follow his own book.

      I wonder if anyone from the church will get on here….

  21. This be their religion.
    These be their gods!

    Not once in that “ad” is God, or Jesus mentioned.
    On the web site main page there is no mention of God either. (the only thing that comes close is an adjective describing these preachertainers.)

    This is a CULT: period.

    I see this and my heart aches. My soul mourns.
    Has Jeremiah 23 been more revelent since it was first spoken? These pretenders, these empire builders, these ravenous wolves claim to follow the “Old Paths” are paving a highway to hell according to their own philosophies and practices.

    but Diotrephes, who loves to be first among them
    Does this not describe these false prophets who love to have the honor, the praise and the glory for themselves? They have their reward. Do they not fear God?

    15 “Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. 16 You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they? 17 So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 So then, you will know them by their fruits.

    21 “ Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter. 22 Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?’ 23 And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness.’

    Matthew 7:15-23

    1. Jeremiah 23:10-14

      For the land is full of adulterers;
      For the land mourns because of the curse.
      The pastures of the wilderness have dried up.
      Their course also is evil
      And their might is not right.
      11 “For both prophet and priest are polluted;
      Even in My house I have found their wickedness,” declares the Lord.
      12 “Therefore their way will be like slippery paths to them,
      They will be driven away into the gloom and fall down in it;
      For I will bring calamity upon them,
      The year of their punishment,” declares the Lord.
      13 “Moreover, among the prophets of Samaria I saw an offensive thing:
      They prophesied by Baal and led My people Israel astray.
      14 “Also among the prophets of Jerusalem I have seen a horrible thing:
      The committing of adultery and walking in falsehood;
      And they strengthen the hands of evildoers,
      So that no one has turned back from his wickedness.

      All of them have become to Me like Sodom,
      And her inhabitants like Gomorrah.

  22. too many honorary doctorates. Mom had to go 8yrs school; write a thesis, and a dissertation to get hers. She also refused to call someone doctor that didnt earn it. I am not saying I would do this…but if a large bomb went off would fandamentalism I mean fundamentalism suffer beyond repair or would that tentacle regenerate itself

    1. Nah, there are plenty more wannabe preachers out there. There are even plenty more preachers with honorary doctorates out there.

  23. This is my (now-former) church!! BAHAHAHA!! I want to die laughing. So glad I’m going to miss this particular conference. Why on earth would anyone want his certificate?!

  24. The funniest thing about Darrell’s “(A double portion of Jack’s spirit not necessarily included.)” comment is they just had a mini-series on Elisha/Elijah, and Elisha asking for a double portion of his spirit. Perfect!

  25. Not to change the subject, but does that “Berean Baptist College” logo look oddly familiar to any other former PCC attendees?

  26. Would a double portion of Jack Hyles’ spirit get me an office with two hidden doors, and the ability to smother two dogs simultaneously?

  27. Wow, just wow! Why on earth would any preacher boy want a copy of an ordination certificate that isn’t even his? Since when did the church of God get into memorabilia?
    I wonder what Jesus would say about these money changers selling things like this in church and making an (unintended) mockery of the church and the ministry in the process.

    1. “Since when did the church of God get into memorabilia?”

      When it ceased to be a church of God and became a man-centered cult. It is clear that Tom Neal has learned the ways of Jack Hyles well. I wish he would spend as much time getting to know they ways of God Almighty.

    2. Why? Because they worship them. Wouldn’t you like a signed copy of Jesus’ Synagogue of Nazareth Menbership Certificate?

      1. Would that be from the same bunch who tried to throw Jesus off a cliff after he spoke in the synagogue?

  28. I wish I had a subscription to the Sword of the Lord so that I could cancel it.

    I may write Shelton Smith about this issue.

  29. I thought that Berean Baptist had to foreclose on their building. Where are they going to host this glorious event?

    1. The bank owns the church now. Berean is renting their former building from the bank while it’s for sale. Greg took over a church McSpadden was pastoring across town, Immanual Baptist or something like that.

      So let’s see, Berean can afford a full page ad in the SoTL but it couldn’t pay their mortgage or their credit cards. Stay cla$$y Tom Neal.

  30. It’s ironic they make fun of other religions, especially Catholics, for “worshipping Mary” and having crucifixes, etc. but then they offer a copy of a dead man’s ordination certificate and a signed Bible of all the speakers?!?! Hypocrites and man-worshippers. So sickening. And the list of “Dr’s” was just about enough to make me puke. NONE OF YOU ARE DOCTORS YOU ARROGANT FOOLS!!!

  31. the old time religion – might that be the one the Pharisees practiced??

  32. I wonder if ‘Pastor’ Greg Neal will host a Young Pastors Voyerism break out session??

    1. I’ll bet you a dollar no ladies will be changing clothes in any back room of this conference.

  33. Yeah, and I used to tell people, “You aren’t a Baptist unless you’ve read the Trail of Blood!” I seem to recall this tactic didn’t exactly get more people to read the book. Well, maybe one or two…

    1. I’m sure many people would specifically avoid reading the Trail of Blood if they thought that reading it might turn them into Baptists.

  34. If I stick pins in the commemorative Bible (KJVO! for sure) will they all be afflicted with arrows to the knees? Or beams in the eyes?

  35. Because nobody has referenced a parody yet:

    Give me that old time religion
    Give me that old time religion
    Give me that old time religion
    It’s good enough for me!

    Let us worship Aphrodite!
    She is beautiful but flighty,
    And she doesn’t wear a nightie,
    But it’s good enough for me!


    We will pray with those old druids
    As they drink fermented fluids,
    Dancing nekkid through the woo-ids,
    And it’s good enough for me!



  36. I am saddened and sickened by what I have read on thsi site. You mockers may laugh and joke now but judgement is coming!!! You will have to stand before God and give account for laughting at God’s work and God’s men!!!

    If you were really saved you would be ashamed to even be a part of this mockery!!! The men in this article have been greatly used to reach many people across this country and the world. What have you smart alecks done for God??? While these men are out impacting the world you are wasting your time sitting around mocking. The Bible warns us about sitting in the seat of the scornful!!!

    I suggest that you just get over your bitterness and get out of God’s way!!! You bunch need to repent of your wickedness and make yourselves right in the eyes of God!!! I cannot believe the tone of mockery of this site towards these great men.

    I suppose none of you are going to listen to me. You have decided to be what you are. At the Judgement Seat, reemmber me and that I tried ot warn you about your sin.

    1. Pastor Fred – you need to post earlier in the day so more people can heed your warnings.

    2. Hey Fred,
      Show me where God is exalted once in the ad.
      Show me where God’s name is mentioned once on the website associated with this abomination of man worship.
      Open your eyes man. Read Jermiah 23, it is the pastors, “committing of adultery and walking in falsehood; And they strengthen the hands of evildoers,So that no one has turned back from his wickedness.”

    3. Pastor Fred, Thank you for reminding me again why I left fundamentalism. This kind of self righteous attitude is a real turn off! 👿

    4. “At the Judgement Seat, reemmber me and that I tried ot warn you about your sin.”

      Get in line, Pastor Fred, get in line.

    5. get out of God’s way

      He’s not much of a god if I can get in his way now is he? Just how small is this god I am in the way of? The Creator God of the Universe has no trouble getting around me at all. So who is this god you speak of Fred?

    6. I’m not bitter – I’m angry at every one of those preachers that would sit on the platform with Greg Neal. They are putting friendship before God, which is idolatry. Or maybe they are putting their “camp” before God — it’s still idolatry.

    7. “Pastor Fred”- allow me to shed light on my reasons for a “mocking tone”. It is because this entire thing is a JOKE. By joke, I mean a complete catering, ego-inflation & worship of these men. They are NOT great men. There is only a Great God who allows us and blesses us with being a part of HIS ministry. Like Don said, where is the glory in ANY of this to God?? The focus and the praise are on these men. Please let me know where in the Bible God/Jesus endorses the worship and praise of men?
      I agree 100% with what Don said, what god do you serve that you can “get in his way”?
      It is heartbreakingly prideful & foolish to state, “At the Judgement Seat, reemmber me and that I tried ot warn you about your sin”. This statement actually makes me fear for you as it reads, to me, that you think you will have ANY part in the Judgement of others and that you & your words are so holy/important/spiritual/RIGHT we will “remember you” when we are face-to-face with Jesus?!? So, so sad. My heart breaks for your blindness.

    8. always good to hear from Pastor Fred Poe.

      Nothing brings out the man-worshippers like tearing down their golden calves.

    9. “judgement is coming!!! You will have to stand before God and give account”

      Yes, and so will all of those wolves in sheep’s clothing that are listed in that advertisement.

    10. OK, point by point:


      You will have to stand before God and give account for laughting at God’s work and God’s men!!!

      Every careless word will be accounted for, it’s true. (Mt 12) Every careless word, not just the words YOU disagree with. We should all consider our words carefully. OTOH, there’s less evidence here that anyone is laughing at God’s work. As another poster has pointed out, there’s NOT ONE MENTION of God on the ad. Or Christ.

      If you were really saved you would be ashamed to even be a part of this mockery!!!

      “Who are you to judge the servant of another?” (Rom 14) Making agreement with you on something this far from the basics a test of salvation is silly at best. And that’s a LOT of charity. Oh, and realize that this is NOT a forum of Christians by definition, but a site dedicated to showing people what Fundamentalists like.

      What have you smart alecks done for God??? While these men are out impacting the world you are wasting your time sitting around mocking.

      Let’s go back to not judging the service of others. Especially since reading this forum gives one so little data about how any of us are “impacting the world.”
      Calling people names counts as mockery in my book.

      I suggest that you just get over your bitterness and get out of God’s way!!!

      Are they mockers or are they bitter? Those are rather different things. Telling people to just get over things never works. And I don’t see anyone standing in God’s way successfully.

      You bunch need to repent of your wickedness and make yourselves right in the eyes of God!!!

      Everyone needs to repent of their sin. No one can “make himself right with God.” The idea is ludicrous and offensive, for it makes a mockery of the Cross. And you’ve covered the mockery thing already.

      I cannot believe the tone of mockery of this site towards these great men.

      This is as blatant as it can get. You’ve now made it clear that you’re angry at mocking men, not God. You have conflated the two, or possibly even replaced the former with the latter.

      I suppose none of you are going to listen to me. You have decided to be what you are. At the Judgement Seat, reemmber me and that I tried ot warn you about your sin.

      A vague ad hominem attack. And I don’t think anyone will or should remember you at the judgement seat – they’ll have Someone better to pay attention to. And your sin warning leaves me unconvicted – you don’t know anyone here, how do you know what our sin problems are?
      You’ve decided to make idols of these men, and accuse those who disagree with you in unloving, unknowing, and insulting terms. There’s nothing for you hear, move along.

    11. I am totally going to start chugging a Diet Dr. Pepper every time someone hurls the accusation of bitter my direction.

    12. Hey Fred, Psalm 37:21 states that…”The wicked borroweth, and payeth not again: but the righteous sheweth mercy, and giveth” Berean borrowed money using their property as collateral-they failed to pay their mortgage payments,they were unsucessful in their CH 11 bankruptcy, and their property was foreclosed on 11-15-2011. The property is currently for sale-asking price 5.9 million. They were also sued by another creditor, and the judgement went in the favor of the creditor. According to the bible, Berean is wicked, therefore they cannot be true men of God.

    1. Seriously, can anything good and god-honoring come from the Sword of the Lord? They shamelessly mutilated a Charles Spurgeon sermon to make him appear to support their views.

      It is so man-centered and self-serving.

      All IMHO, of course.

  37. My former pastor Terry Sellars is on this. I know that while I was there he did not have a Dr. degree.

    1. I lived 2.5 miles from the church, I would visit on occasion, I have to laugh, he is going to promote “Old Time religion” and his church is far from old-fashioned standards, women are allowed to wear pants, and CCM is used in the services “toned-down” of course, and he doesn’t have a problem with preachers being divorced and remarried, due to the fact that his assistant pastor is remarried. I had a good chuckle over Terry Sellars being there, but after all, who knows how many students he has sent to the college there over the years, I’m sure it’s just one “good” turn deserving another

  38. I’m thinking about sending all the single men from my church to the ladies tea on a “Rescue The Perishing” mission.

  39. Norris Belcher is quite a slickster. All of his deacons must be pre approved by him before they are put on the ballot. He is an arrogent blowhard. His church, Church of the Open Door in Westminster, MD has a terrible reputation within the county. They are known for their separatism and their crazy legalism. They are also abusive to people who disagree. They speak ill of the people that leave their church and claim that the people left because they have fallen into sin. Like i said earlier, its a horrible place. Their leader is very ungodly.

    1. I think I visited there once. Had some friends from there, always wondered, because in the midwest, no self respecting fundies would ever name a church and leave out the “Babtist

      1. It’s becoming more and more common on the Least Coast for churches to leave off Baptist, whether fundy, SBC, or whatnot.

  40. I’m sure this is old hat at this point, but honestly: why would you want a bible signed by a person? I mean i get it: it’s hero worship. But it’s really irrational hero worship. Is there a post somewhere on this site that deals with it?

  41. So the Pope speaking ex cathedra is an evil emperor, but you must not protest the decrees of the “man of God.”

    “Works righteousness” is false doctrine, but you must keep the “standards” at all times because people are watching, and the standards amount to a checklist of things you are to be seen to be doing.

    The sacraments are a bunch of unbiblical innovations, but God can’t help you unless you say this prayer right here on this card.

    And venerating the relics of saints is a bunch of morbid Cathlick nonsense . . . but everybody should be eager to possess this here relic of Jack Hyles.

    Okay then.

    1. Great points Jenny great points. I doubt “Pastor Fred” and the like will ever see them though as their blindfold is really on tight. 😡

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