Those of us who went to Fundy U have all met the “Company Student” who feels it is their solemn duty to defend and promote the school no matter what. I’d like to pay them tribute with the following bit of ย painful drivel…

What a privilege it is to go to school at such a fine institution! I count myself blessed to have been admitted at all given the high admissions standards of having a pulse and a credible salvation testimony. I just keep pinching myself to make sure it’s not some kind of ย fantastic dream!

It’s a privilege to be made to get out of bed at 6:30 each morning and do my required devotions before putting on myย carefullyย regulated clothing and running off to class. What a joy and delight to pay to take required classes from teachers with no degrees on topics that contain no marketable value and no visible scholarship. Then it’s off to chapel where glory is heaped upon glory as we are blessed by preaching from men who knows that it is better to have volume than veracity. My heart overflows.

It’s a privilege to round out my day at my on-campus job where I wash dishes for sub-minimum wage knowing that in the case of accident or injury I will be called upon to sacrifice my own health and well-being for the school by confessing that everything was all my own fault. Oh what a joy when the workday is over and I can spend ten glorious minutes gazing unblinkingly upon my betrothed sweetheart from a distance of six inches away. How sweet to be able to nod goodnight and then go our separate ways back to the dorms before mandatory lights out at eleven o’clock.

If heaven is full, I hope God sends me back to live here. It’s the closest thing to heaven on earth. I would even be happy to keep paying tuition for all eternity!

What a Life! What a School! What a Privilege!

150 thoughts on “Privileged”

  1. Once, at the end of the school year, a teacher evaluation form was supplied on the tables at the back of the auditorium at an unnamed Fundy U in southern California, LA County, Antelope Valley, Lancaster… just narrowing it down a little.

    The VP encouraged all of the students to fill out the evaluations forms honestly… then demanded that they fill in their name on the evaluation form and basically said that anyone who dared to fill out a negative evaluation form without having the nerve to leave their name was a spineless idiot and their opinion was obviously invalid–not in exactly those words, but more or less his point.

    I was particularly unhappy with his “World History 1 and 2” classes that were required for my “major” (square quotes both intentional), and truly felt that he needed someone to tell him that the students were learning absolutely nothing about history by memorizing random, unconnected “terms,” and that all of world civilization, or at least Fundydom, could be slightly bettered if students were actually “taught” history.

    Anyway, after hearing his piece on the evaluation forms, I decided it wasn’t worth it. I never filled one out. I don’t know if anyone actually did.

    But perhaps there was one or two “company students” or “Poster Childs” as we called them who did their duty to their Fundy U.

    1. by “square quotes” I actually meant “scare quotes” and “Poster Childs” might be more appropriately worded “Poster Children.”

      1. I wondered about that. I would have guessed “square quotes” were things nerds or conformists said. Oh, wait–Fundies and squares. It fits.

    2. Gee, I wonder if he would have credited as brave the student who had the cojones to actually say that he and his class sucked! ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

    3. And had you left a negative evaluation with your name, they would probably have harassed you endlessly in Weaver’s office and then expelled you for “being disrespectful to faculty”.

      We want your opinion as long as it is the same as ours.

      War is Peace
      Freedom is Slavery
      Ignorance is Strength

  2. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I wouldn’t have lasted 5 minutes in such a place. ๐Ÿ˜ฅ

    1. Totally understand that sentiment. Dropped out of Christianity for over a decade because of it. And even in Baptist elementary school knew that I wasn’t making the cut. How awful for a kid to feel that way.

      Darrell, your purgative therapeutic humor is our gain.

    2. After graduating from a fundy HS, I could have gone to any typical Fundy U and been just fine. By the grace of God, I was allowed to make the decision to go to a secular university; after a year there, there’s no way I could have survived at a BJU or other similar school.

    3. I have three siblings and a niece who all got kicked out of the same Fundy U. Two other siblings managed to graduate – barely. Somehow my parents didn’t make me attend, and I got to go to a good “liberal arts” college (shocking!)

      My father was about to force me into BJU, though, but for some reason backed down. I always wonder how long I would have lasted. My guess, not very long. I’m not a Poster Child.

  3. You mentioned carefully regulated clothing, and that made me think of uniforms and I started to wonder why fundy schools don’t use uniform? They’re constantly concerned about students making other students/faculty members lust so it seems like uniforms are a natural step in preventing that…unless they’re sadists who enjoy picking on and pointing out other people’s failures…wait, I just answered my own question. Carry on.

    1. MMMMMMMM. . .college girls in uniforms. I like it. They will be plaid skirts with knee length stockings, right?

        1. Seeing as how I’m a woman, I know my vision is much more accurate having personally lived it, and no, I’m going to let you handle your vision all on your own. ๐Ÿ™„

    2. School uniforms would appear to be too Catholic. Can’t be having that.

      Although in prison you get a uniform……

    3. School uniforms would mean they couldn’t change their minds any time they wanted. I was in an “approved” wedding where the pastor’s wife approved the dress patterns for the bride and bride’s maids. She checked the modesty at each fitting. All the dresses were the same, but my sister’s had to be altered because she has a bit more junk in the trunk and they let out most of the seams in the back so that they material wouldn’t rest on her butt. She was petite, she just had a cute booty and the pastor’s wife didn’t want anyone to know she even had a butt.

  4. I’m guessing these are the same people who talk about BJU and HAC as if they were Harvard and Yale, and are shocked and offended when “normals” have never heard of those schools. ๐Ÿ™„

    1. These are the same people who point out a classmate and say “that student almost went to a state school before deciding to enroll in Bible college” as a way of providing some sort of “credential by association” for their college.

      1. Better yet, I had a professor who bragged to my class about a student at BJU who got accepted to MIT but went to BJU instead. She didn’t know that I knew the kid she was talking about, as he was my former mog’s son. He indeed was accepted to MIT, but his father did not allow him to go. He was browbeaten into attending BJU in the classic fundy parenting style.

        1. That kid would’ve been better off with my parents. When I was looking to transfer to a 4-year college from my little community college, one of the schools I considered was a Fundy U. My parents absolutely refused to let me apply. SO glad they did!! I ended up going to Biola, a very nice liberal arts college (still Christian, but accredited ๐Ÿ™‚ ).

        2. That’s awful! His parents should have lost custody of him for being so stupid and brainwashed! ๐Ÿ‘ฟ

  5. In my 9th grade class we had a new teacher fresh from fundy u bible institute of la bachelors in ed masters in ed from bju. my jr high was not typical fundy teachers encouraged questioning and critical thinking. she taught world history and we called her on her questionable teaching? she would go the office crying everyday for the first 2 months. she calmed down and started to listen and clown with us. my school stopped at the 9th grade. she left after that year. its been 27 years and I found her on facebook. she has pictures posted of her and her wife. she left teaching. I like to think that we helped take her rose colored fundy glasses off.

    1. “she has pictures posted of her and her wife”

      …obviously, she has left the Fundy Fold ๐Ÿ˜€

    2. Too bad she left teaching. That’s the kind of person who would have eventually become a good teacher.

      1. Yeah, she could have gotten another degree, only this time from a REAL college, and she could have used what she learned from the real school to be able to teach real history to her students this time around. ๐Ÿ’ก

    1. Even before Scorpio said anything, I was gong to give a salute to that student’s fabulous hair.
      I’ve said it before, and I’m saying it again: Dar-El has the best collection of pictures on the whole Internet.

  6. I find it hard to believe that anyone loved their fundy U so whole-heartedly. It can’t be true! It isn’t possible!! And yet, our youth pastor rants about the glories of his fundy U continuously. I went to the same institution he did and can’t help but wonder why anyone would recommend it. If they think “law” is so great, they ought to try “liberty”.

    1. I can attest to the existence of these people. My sister was one of them. Ohh I wish I could show you videos of what is in my head. It would make some great TV.

    2. Many years ago, there was a website that was devoted to bashing BJU, and it was called “Bo-Jo-A-Go-Go”. It was hosted by a former student of the school and a former fundy, and it was really entertaining. When I left a message on there that was critical of BJU, I got an email from a loyal student who said that I was probably either gay or an atheist for not liking Bob Jones University. Some people are really THAT brainwashed! ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

  7. Today’s theme kinda reminds me of a communist propaganda leaflet I’ve seen before telling of the joys of their way of life. ๐Ÿ™„

    Actually, life at OBC was JUST.LIKE.THAT! The “company student” at OBC was so serious about promoting the college that he thought it appropriate to physically attack me after the service at my own church because he found out I left the school. ๐Ÿ‘ฟ

    Such is the character of many of the extremists er “students” who are products of Oklahoma Baptist College and Jim Vineyard. ๐Ÿ˜ก

    1. It reminds me as well of some of those interviews in totalitarian states where people are afraid that the interviewer works for the government. “I love North Korea! It is the bestest most loveliest place on earth! Our great Leader shines his most benevolent smile on us and chases away our illness!”

        1. You think the North Koreans are sitting around taking bets on who can come up with the most outlandish adulation to give their deceased leader?

          “I saw a bear weeping”
          “Oh yeah? Well he used to make spring come early!”
          “That’s nothing. He caused solar flares”

          This is so over the top you have to wonder if it is sarcasm.

        2. It was far from the most spectacular claim, but I think this was my favorite reported event of the day of the Dear Leader’s death:

          “Later that night, says (state news agency) KCNA, a depressed bird was seen to fly three times around a statue of Kim Jong-il before landing on a nearby tree. ‘The crane stayed there for quite a long while with its head drooped,’ reports KCNA. Apparently pulling itself together, it made off in the direction of Pyongyang.”

      1. Weekend Update on SNL does parodies of those interview. Kind of funny, but sad if you think about it much.

    2. He ATTACKED you? Had he been injected with Vineyard’s blood or something? THESE PEOPLE ARE INSANE. ๐Ÿ˜ฏ ๐Ÿ˜ฏ ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

      1. Yep the guy (also one of JV’s favorite missionaries) came up to me and as I reached out my hand to shake his and say “hi” gave me a nice punch to the ribs and then told me how much he despized me for “giving the church a bad testimony” by leaving. This was during my Christmas leave while I was half-way through a deployment mind you and I wasn’t in a good mood.

        Let’s just say I returned the “favor” and barely kept myself from kicking his @$$ right there in church. ๐Ÿ‘ฟ He also had the nerve to ask if I was serving with “fags in the Coast Guard” when he clearly knew I was in the Army.

        He also was one of the most praised folks by our pastor at that church as well. When I wanted to talk with him about the incident with the missionary and his wife present, the MOG refused and said he’d “deal” with it on his own!! ๐Ÿ‘ฟ

        Yep JV and his like sure produce some “gems” of their own kind alright. ๐Ÿ™„

        1. Ten bucks says every “fag” in the Coast Guard could kick that twerp’s butt.

          … I never bet. I don’t know what’s gotten into me.

        2. JV and his cronies used all those words: the one you mention, the N word, you name it. While I was teaching in DE, JV came there to speak. I asked him how he could bring himself to use words like that. He fixed his piggy little eyes on me, and said, “YOU, young woman, need to get BACK to HAC!” He is an ass, and this freak you describe sounds just like any of his henchmen from HAC. ๐Ÿ‘ฟ

        3. My father was an officer in the Coast Guard. He was also an NCAA All-American in cross country, and the track captain at the Academy. And since he had nine kids, I’m guessing totally not a fag. I am pretty sure he could still snap this little one without breaking a sweat.

        4. He asked if you served with the fags in the Coast Guard? Did this take place in the Reagan years before the “don’t ask/don’t tell” new era in the military? The only thing I know about the military, from what I ascertain from our political leaders and the media, is that it is one big old gay party. Are there any heterosexuals even left in the military, of any branch?

    3. hey, question for exobcstudent…how long ago were u at obc? my little sister has been there for several years. wondering if mayb u knew her. the stuff im hearing about that place scares me…

  8. Faculty at FU also went through the same sort of stuff. When I was both at Pillsbury and Maranatha, we were led to believe that it was a privilege to work for them for less than minimal wages. At Maranatha, our new president even stated that we may feel led of the Lord, but he pays the checks. We were intimidated into doing free work for the school during the summer break with the threat that we would not get a check on payday. When I left and went to Oklahoma State, it took me over a year to speak above whispers, lest anyone should report what I said in private to the administration. I got a job playing organ at the Presbyterian church (actually, they found me), I found it ironic that my pay back in 1986 was $100 a week, which was actually about the same as what I had previously received in salary.

    Any group can produce good spin on the worst of situations, we have “Uncle Joe Stalin” surrounded by loving children. During the earlier years of Hitler, concentration camps were portrayed as nice places where people had carefree lives. They even deceived the Red Cross at Terasianstat (sp!). I believe that Pillsbury’s promotional film **Never the Same** is posted on Youtube. The naivitee of the film is worth a gander.

    1. Christian schools have this going, too. I remember being told what a privilege it was to work for low salary, terrible insurance ($5000 deductible, paid no preventative care, no prescription plan, no dental, no vision…), and ridiculous demands (directing a play for NO extra compensation and having to schedule rehearsal around their renting out the facility to outside groups, teaching seven or even eight periods of an eight period day, being expected to return all assignments graded within 24 hours including things like research papers…). And if you suggested that something be improved, you were accused of lacking faith and not “valuing the ministry” or of not caring about the students enough.

      The “company teachers” though were the ones who were best friends with the principal and had husbands with high salaries. So they could afford to eat, had insurance elsewhere and got plan periods.

        1. The Catholic school I taught at had an insurance plan that covered birth control with nothing but a co-pay. The policy was from the Archdiocese which had insurance to cover all parishes, schools, etc…

          The current controversy is nothing more than election year blathering. I know for a fact that many Catholic institutions around the country have been covering it without whining until now.

        2. amyrose, the bishops are finally getting some spine and calling those institutions to account.

          Are you aware that the HHS mandate would require Catholic employers to pay (either directly or indirectly) for the so-called morning-after pill and other abortifacients? Are you comfortable with that?

          The issue is not contraception. It is religious liberty. That’s why evangelicals and other Protestants — as well as Orthodox Jews and Eastern Orthodox bishops — are backing us up on this. If the administration can do this to Catholics, it can do it to anyone.

          Separation of church and state does not mean that the state crushes the church. It means just the opposite.

        3. Nonsense. The issue IS contraception. And it’s a losing issue for the right. 99% of American women (98% of American Catholic women) either use or have used contraceptives, and 70 to 80 per cent of the respondents in recent opinion polls think that health insurance plans should be required to cover birth control. And the current anti-choice bills in states like Virginia would ban hormonal birth control (what most American women use), not just abortion.

          If you’re against abortion, you should be promoting contraception everywhere. Contraception prevents far more abortions than political posturing ever will. The bishops are huge hypocrites on this.

        4. We all know that the Catholic Church is misguided and deluded and completely out of line with their anti-contraception theology. Nevertheless, it is, or was a free country. They should have the freedom to practice their religion as they see fit and not be forced to accept other mandates from the government. Some of you are so completely jaded that instead of just disliking fundamentalists, you’re so brainwashed that you jump at the chance to hate any religion that even is remotely associated with Christianity and everything they stand for. It could be IFBs, Catholics, Methodists, etc. As long as they purport to be even remotely aligned with anything Christian, you view it as an opportunity to hate them. Ever heard of this little thing called “overreaction?”

        5. I love Catholics, and the Catholic Church. Seriously, I worked for the Catholic Church for years, and still admire it. The Cardinals and Bishops are still as wrong as they can be about birth control, though.

    2. Hey now, “Never the Same” is fun watching! ๐Ÿ™‚ It’s fun to see what the 70’s looked like there!

      1. Fishsticks,

        I interviewed at Pillsbury about the time they were wrapping up the filming end of the project. It was unveiled the fall I got to Pillsbury. It shows a Pillsbury during its hayday. There were almost 800 students on campus. Two years after I left, about half of the faculty were either fired or left because they were so upset with conditions at the school, and Pillsbury immediately lost about half of its student body. I understand that another bloodletting took place in the mid 1990s. Jonathan Pratt, son of the then dean of students, wrote a really good article detailing how Pillsbury basically was mismanaged right from the top. I can’t remember the web address, but on Facebook, there is a Pillsbury page where I responded to someone from the Owatonna People’s Press.

  9. This can be the result when a student who really loves God is super-sheltered and innocent. With childlike trust, she believes and trusts those in authority.

    At some point, reality (and the Holy Spirit) may start to crash through her carefully preserved naivete. At that point, she can begin to grow and realize there is no Eden on this earth and all her hopes should be in Christ not in a man-made institution OR she can crawl back in her shell, often becoming fakely sweet or arrogantly self-righteous or militantly defensive about the school.

    1. That was similar to what I was going to post. My pre-college home life was quite dysfunctional, with lots of screaming and violence. I went through the first year in bliss. I remember one of the first few nights there, realizing I was safe didn’t have to hear constant yelling and thuds. It took a while for be to move past that security and realize that I really didn’t believe anything I was being taught. I was simply going along with it because I didn’t want to disappoint the first people who seemed to truly care about me.

  10. Boy, this company student reminds me a lot of Sister Mary Carol, who gave me the five cent tour of my college.

        1. except for the palm trees. Not a lot of those in downtown Chicago. BTW, my parents went to MBI in the ’60s also.

  11. I know people like this =/ These naive girls who spent most their lives there, or came from a bad situation and so this is great! This is the place for me! I owe my teachers/counselors such a debt! (For WHAT) All those people who left are just bitter and hate Preacher!! (without finding out the facts) Lord help them.

    I’m just glad I didn’t get sucked into that mindset. They had me for less than two semesters, it was over after that.

      1. True.
        Also, fire-bombing is illegal.
        And wrong. Oh, yes, it would be very, very wrong. ๐Ÿ˜

        1. Is slashing tires on parked cars in the faculty lot illegal too? What about just lots of t.p. in the trees?

        2. T.p. What t.p. I don’t know nothin about no t.p. (But it shore was purdy when we got done.)

  12. “Itโ€™s a privilege to be made to get out of bed at 6:30 each morning and do my required devotions before putting on my carefully regulated clothing and running off to class.”

    IF ONLY! I had to be at my on-campus JOB by 5:45 A.M. ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

    1. Yeah, me too, and earlier on weekends when we had to work on the busses for free. And don’t forget we had to stay up for floor devotions until our favorite drag queen was done talking about all the important things she had to talk to us about EVERY SINGLE NIGHT until at least 11:30 p.m. At least that is how it was on our floor.

      1. *I* had the “privilege” of having the Drag-Queen’s favorite girlfriend(or He-Man, as she was referred to after her marriage to the poor slob) for her first year as a dorm supe. She talked till past midnight, NIGHTLY. She was HIDEOUS. We all hated her, yes, even I, the good little HAC poster child. She is very public on FB, and her posts could gag you. They are still married, so I hope that is because they are happy, though without a major psychological transformation, one does not see how. ๐Ÿ™„

        1. I HAD hoped she had seen the light, since she does NOT list HAC ANYWHERE on her page. But no, I think not. She may not love HAC anymore, but she still loves all the people.

  13. Even though I knew I would not agree with all of the rules, I knew I could follow them while at BJU to pursue an aircraft maintenance degree from their Technical School. While BJU wasn’t accredited at that time, it did have to follow FAA and NTSB guidelines in my field. I have my proper ratings as an aircraft mechanic, so it wasn’t all bad. But I digress.

    At that time, neckties were still required wear before lunch. As a shop student, we had to wear shop uniforms in the shop. Occasionally I would wear the uniform of dark blue pants and light blue shirt with name patch to other classes, with some of my dad’s old, wide, brightly colored ties from the ’60s and ’70s. This was during the skinny tie fad of the ’80s. (I never did and still don’t like skinny ties)

    Even as a married off-campus student, you get strange looks when you, even while within the rules, seem to not be conforming properly. The funny part is that teachers seemed to care less than some of the students. I guess they were the poster children.

  14. I have noticed most fundies spell it “priviledge” must be attributed to their high caliber home school or Christian school training.

  15. I lasted a whole 3 semesters at BJU-FU … the last one was pure H-E-DoubleHockeyStix! Took me over a decade to begin to recover and then another 7 years to start back up again. 20 years after I started, I finished my undergrad at a regionally accredited, non-Fundy Christian U.

    Now we just try to help those who are going to get booted and think they have no options.

    1. I cannot adequately explain how much I admire and even envy those of you who post here who GOT OUT. I wish, how I WISH, I had been that astute, but I was completely brainwashed, and could have been that girl in the picture, talking about the incredible blessings of HAC. I did NOT come from a fundy home, but did come from a highly-dysfunctional one, and Jack Hyles preyed upon those types. It worked, in my case, I am sorry to say! Years later, when I returned as an employee, (crazy, yes, but it was a HUGE jump in the opening-eyes process!)one of my jobs was being a dorm supervisor. I remember how much I liked this one young woman on my floor who questioned EVERYTHING. I did have to tell her that I thought she was running a high risk of being expelled, whereupon she replied she certainly hoped so. I wonder to this day how she is, and pray she is happy. I wish I had had THAT kind of brain, and spine. Kudos to you! ๐Ÿ˜€

      1. I’m with you on wishing I’d have gotten out sooner every time I think back to those dark days. I lasted 3 years before the military rescued me out of it all. I was very highly intoxicated on the Fundy koolaide as well and it’s just the grace of God that I didn’t stay like you did.

        Many of my roomates are now on staff at both FU’s I attended during that time. My life would be so different and more miserable had I not decided to join the Army.

        I guess my troublesome home life helped to teach me to always question things which eventually caused the true colors of the IFB to shine forth and lead me eventually out. ๐Ÿ™„

        1. Thank God! I wish it had affected me that way, but the best thing is to focus on the deliverance! ๐Ÿ˜€

    1. I’ve toyed with the idea of creating some kind of ratings system to warn people about the potential for vomiting, flashbacks, or the urge to stand and sing the Doxology. ๐Ÿ™‚

      1. See, if we had a vomit icon, that would make your proposed rating system a snap! Love the idea of rating. ๐Ÿ™‚

      2. How about a Twitch-O-Meter, with a scale from zero (non-triggering) to sixty (Jack Schaap).
        Sixty because, of course, sixty was the ancient Sumerians’ perfect number.

        1. My Dear One-Of-My-Favorite-Posters,

          I must beg to differ with you. Jack Schaap is off the scale.

        2. Hasn’t the Surgeon General required a Hazardous to Watch and Listen warning labels be put on all Schaap’s material?

        3. I think Schaap was required to pull all his sermons off youtube for that reason. It was causing too many strokes and heart attacks for the people watching. ๐Ÿ™„

        4. hey george? it’s “a label” or “labels” not “a labels”
          ๐Ÿ˜ก *whyIoughta… one of these days the moon, to the moon george.**

        5. Sims, I personally blame him for any ailment I have going. The last time I had to look at him or hear his voice was the last time DD featured him, but it has long-lasting effects.

        6. I thought Schaap pulled his vids from YouTube because they were causing outright prolonged laughter in people watching him turn purple while he bragged about slapping grandmas.

          (50 bragging points to anyone who can tell me what movie has the catch-phrase “outrgiht prolonged laugter.”)

        7. This is all I found: “It comes from a play called “A Thousand Clowns” by Herb Gardner.”

        8. Ding ding ding!
          50 bragging points for Seen Enough.
          The movie, starring Jason Robards and Barbara Harris, is also titled “A Thousand Clowns.”
          + 25 more points for knowing it was based on a Broadway play.

          It’s one of the best movies ever made– all about freedom vs. conformity.
          If you haven’t seen it, stop what you’re doing and watch it right now.
          Here it is on YouTube:

        9. Well, I PROMISE to watch it later, but right now I am helping many small patrons find books for their reports on Bigfoot. ๐Ÿ™‚

        10. That didn’t come out right. I meant the Bigfoot footage was faked, so watch “A Thousand Clowns” instead.

        11. Dude, first principle of public librarianship: no censorship. Fouth-grader tells me he wants to fo his school paper on Big Foot, then I help him find the books. Ours not to reason why. ๐Ÿ˜‰

        12. Big Gary, really??? There’s no Bigfoot? For a guy who is the biggest promoter around here that we are all descended from apes, you sure have a weird sense of humor to all of a sudden pretend to not believe in the missing link. Are you now engaging in what the kids like to call “trolling” for a response?

        13. I’ve never said that we are all descended from apes, nor do I believe that, nor does any competent scientist. The “missing link” theory has been defunct for, oh, about 125 years now?

        14. Big Gary, we can say one thing for you: you never cease to surprise us with your ever-changing answers! You keep us on our toes! Anyway, so now all of a sudden you decide to believe in intelligent design and a deity when you have been the biggest promoter of everything but for the longest time? Am I on candid camera? ๐Ÿ˜ฏ Are you what the kids call “punking” us now by all of a sudden trying to fool us and make us look funny?

  16. STANDING FOR THE DOXOLOGY!!!!!! So awesome. No invitation to stand…just the offering ends and the opening chords on the organ play…everyone stands likes drones or robots. Pavlov!!!!!

    1. This even occurred in my grandparents’ more mainstream denomination. I realized once how completely liturgical that moment was in a church that prided itself on avoiding liturgy.

    2. Its funny…the only time I heard the Doxology growing up was when we attended a Wesleyan church for a few months. And the churches I attended wouln’t have approved of Southern Gospel either. Guess its an area difference.

  17. At my FU, I participated in a recited poetry contest. I won, but the president had the dean of women call me in with the formal dress I wore on stage, to confirm that the top half was “too tight” for my torso. My award was rescinded. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

    1. The nerve of that pervert to take your award away because he was distracted by your breasts. This was his sin. ๐Ÿ‘ฟ

    2. Sorry but the first thing that came to mind was an old Song I used to hear on the Dr. Demento show:

      It could have been playing in the background while you were being *un*dressed down and having your award taken away. Think back did you happen to hold the award close to you chest when you were presented with it? *that would explain why he wanted it back…* ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

  18. …and while we’re discussing Fundy U brainwashing, I just got a text from my sister telling me she got accepted to Baylor! ๐Ÿ˜€ This is big news, because just a few months ago, she was planning on going to BJU, and I was desperately trying to talk her out of it. I am so, so relieved that it worked, because I have a feeling she would have ended up a “Poster Child.”

    1. FWIW (not much! ๐Ÿ˜‰ just my two cents!) the nicest, kindest anesthesiologist I EVER had was a Baylor grad. ๐Ÿ™‚

    2. Yay! Great news!

      At my former church the college recruiters and youth leaders would have really turned up the pressure to enroll in Fundy U at this point – no holds barred.

      Look out…

  19. I never attended a school remotely like this. In fact, my undergraduate alma mater, New College of Florida (a/k/a Hippie U) was the polar opposite of a Fundy U.

    However, I can relate to this post because there are parallels in the corporate world (a/k/a Dilbert-Land). In the huge corporation where I work, all the creative types (in the in-house creative dep’t) are cynical rebels who couldn’t do the Company Boy/Girl thing if their lives depended on it. Meanwhile, upper management harangues us with lectures about “attitude.” The beatings will continue until morale improves, I guess. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

    And yes, there are corporate cheerleaders constantly telling us how lucky we are to be here, and how all those unemployed people would just LOVE to have our jobs. (Our jobs are highly specialized, but hey, anyone can do ’em, right? If you can doodle on a napkin, you can do sophisticated web design. I mean, seriously!!)

    OY! Don’t get me started!

    1. For several years, I was a cashier at Wild Oats Market. Of course, you would think that since it’s a health food store, all the employees would be free to do their own thing and there would be no groupthink. WRONG!!! Since it was owned by a corporation, we also got a lot of lip service from corporate cheerleaders, and it made me want to puke! I had a coworker who felt the same way, and she came up with something she called the “corporate smile”. It consisted of her taking her middle finger, tracing it across her lips, and putting on a big grin. ๐Ÿ˜†

  20. The thing that really greives me about people like this is the fact that for some of them (most likely relatively few of them), the unhealthy and toxic environment of FU is actually much more functional than the home environment they came out of to attend. This is true of my Mom. She graduated from Tennessee Temple in 1977, and she used to describe to me that it really did feel, to her, like Heaven on earth. The unfortunate reality is that for her, it was. Her home life was so unbelievably over the top in such a dysfunctional way, that TTU did seem like a respite. (fwiw, despite her still fundy leanings, my Mom is my hero to this day, and she is stronger than anyone I have ever known.)

  21. So how can FU avoid abiding by state and federal labour law requiring the payment of minimum wage and work safety protocols?

    1. Taken from:

      What minimum wage exceptions apply to full-time students?

      The Full-time Student Program is for full-time students employed in retail or service stores, agriculture, or colleges and universities. The employer that hires students can obtain a certificate from the Department of Labor which allows the student to be paid not less than 85% of the minimum wage. The certificate also limits the hours that the student may work to 8 hours in a day and no more than 20 hours a week when school is in session and 40 hours when school is out, and requires the employer to follow all child labor laws. Once students graduate or leave school for good, they must be paid $7.25 per hour effective July 24, 2009.

      There are some limitations on the use of the full-time student program. For information on the limitations or to obtain a certificate, contact the Department of Labor’s Wage and Hour National Certification Team at 230 South Dearborn Street, Room 514, Chicago, Illinois 60604, telephone: 312-596-7195.

    2. There are ALWAYS ways to avoid state and federal labor laws as long as those who are the victims are somehow convinced not to report it. I have seen this happen so many times over the years (in both business and ‘christian” situations). It makes my blood boil.

      1. Yes. The sad truth is, I am treated more fairly, now that I am working for a secular employer, than I ever was working for Christians.

      2. I totally agree with you, and I love your screen name. It describes the way I feel about myself, also. ๐Ÿ˜

  22. Okay, I went to a Bible college that was accredited by the American Association of Bible Colleges. (I know, I know, we were Satanists.)

    Most of the faculty had Ph.D.’s from secular universities, especially for those teaching in subjects other than biblical literature and theology.

    My principal theology professor had a Th.D. from St. Andrews University in Scotland. He was very good and very tough. We used Calvin’s Institutes as the textbook.

    In spite of all that, 40% of my classes were worthless as we still had situations like the missionary-in-residence teaching missions classes. The classes were mostly slide shows of his work.

    The place still had its poster boys. (Girls need not apply.) The institution was and is a training institute for clergy and missionaries. They are not there to learn. They are there to get a credential so they can then go do God’s work. Because, you know, they heard The Callโ„ข.

    I never applied for ordination because I had become a universalist, didn’t believe in inerrancy, was an amillenialist, and had serious reservations about the Trinity as a doctrine.

    It remains one of the great, delicious ironies of my life that going to Bible college made me an atheist and studying philosophy in university put an end to being one.

    I cannot imagine being in a place like Bob Jones Fundy College. (I refuse to call it a university, having attended 2 real ones.) We had plenty of silly rules and peer pressure in bible college, but the stories that all of you tell just make me shudder.

    1. I don’t understand why anyone with any serious aspirations to work in academia would take a job at a place like that. Come on! Your prof had a degree from the University of St. Andrews! He probably could have gotten a job at an Ivy League school or something close to it. ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

      1. I agree. But conservative evangelicals have far more in common with fundies than they care to admit. (The ‘they’ is deliberately ambiguous.)

        Just because evangelical women can wear pants doesn’t mean evangelicalism doesn’t let law trump grace.

  23. You forgot to mention mandatory prayer meeting before bed time. Because there really is nothing more spiritual then spending half an hour in forced “prayer” with a group of other students who may or may not want to be there. Nothing completes such a meeting like singing “Surely the presence of the Lord is in this place.” ๐Ÿ™„

    1. Long time reader first time poster, just had to respond to this one. I don’t know your background Lone Wolf, but if you are trying to call COFO a FundyU, I would strongly disagree with you. Fundy Lite, maybe, but not a full fundy u.

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