88 thoughts on “GOH: The Bible Bookstore”

  1. Ugh-I can see ALL the Marshall’s singing away in my mind! Another family where no thinking, no choice is allowed

  2. Just listened to this. Boy they really do play up the differences between translations and blow them out of proportion, don’t they? As far as Good News for Modern Man containing cuss words, doesn’t KJV say “pisseth?”

    1. Yes. And once when I asked my mom what “pisseth” meant (because we didn’t say that word but I thought I knew what it meant but SURELY the Holy Bible didn’t have THAT word in it), my mom scolded me and said it was a bad word!!! So all my life I was told to read the Bible, even encouraged to read it all the way through, but when I found something kind of graphic and asked about it, I was shamed for asking.

    2. There are no “cuss words” in the Good News version that are not in the KJV. Nor does it deny the virgin birth or the divinity of Christ. The Good News Bible is not my favorite translation, but still, obviously this bloke hasn’t even read it.

        1. You’re right,it’s just that my curiosity got the better of me and like a 10 year old I had to go see what the cuss word was in the Bible. 🙂

  3. I wonder if he intentionally means to sound totally emasculated, because he’s playing a guitar? I think he equates a guitar with hard rock, so he tries to stay as far away from it as he can, by sounding like there is no testosterone in his body.

    And of course it’s the pastor who has to tell him what the right version is, he never figures it out on his own. Must be nice to never have to think. Just ask, be told, and do. Ahhhh.

  4. I prefer the New Jerusalem Bible but that must really be of the devil because it is a Catholic Bible and has “bonus” books in it. 👿 Ilike your emotocons 😈

    1. The Ruckmanites and other KJV-Onlyists (if there are any others) continue to astonish me with the breadth and depth of their ignorance about the Bible’s history and the problems inherent in translating the Bible.

  5. I love his admission at the end that none of the images are his. Apparently it’s all right to ignore copyright laws, as long as it’s for the defense of the KJV.

  6. There’s a Bible for the Klan? I’m pretty sure that photo came up during the “there’s a Bible for. . .” verses, but I’m not about to watch again to be certain. If there is, I’ll have anything but what they’re having.

    1. Well, I understand the Klan’s theme song was (maybe still is?) “The Old Rugged Cross.”

      1. Oh,no! That was my rural Georgia grandmother’s favorite hymn. I’d like to think there wasn’t a connection, but I wouldn’t bet the rent on it.

        1. The Klan didn’t write the song; they just adopted it. Not everyone who sang it was a Klan sympathizer. For example, Johnny Cash recorded “The Old Rugged Cross,” and he was emphatically not a Klansman or a sympathizer.

          On the other hand, I never knew your grandmother.

    2. I’m willing to bet good money that, to the extent the Klan uses/used a Bible, it is/was the KJV, so I’m not exactly sure what his point is.

  7. Are they really making the claim that non-KJV versions add profanity? I think they are confused, as the KJV has lots of profanity.

  8. I’m glad they never sang this song when they visited our church (multiple times under our former pastor). 🙄

    1. Yeah, we had them a lot, too. Unfortunately, this was one of their songs they sang EVERY time. Probably due to the uproarious “Amens” they got every time.

  9. Wow! Yes, every one knows that Satan is making sure the Bible gets published for millions to read it.
    Instead of someone slapping him on the back at the book store they should have slapped him upside the head!

  10. Wow. WOW. At some point when I realized this wasn’t a joke I had to start it over for my husband to hear it. He just shook his head and chuckled. We have come a long way, baby.

  11. Wow. Well, then… I hate to admit it, but my best friend at the time and I used to sing this in elementary school chapel ALL the time. If I wanted to hear it again (which I didn’t, so I didn’t listen) I probably could still repeat every single word. I remember the Marshall’s and owning every single one of their cassettes growing up. It makes me sick to think of this and some of their other songs being sung in a church. Despicable.

    1. I also used to sing this song ALL the time it was a favorite at our school. I remember him singing it for us in chapel and all of us were absolutely thrilled to see him perform live. Listening to it now i’m embarrassed for thinking this was the best song ever and being so happy to see him 😳 .

      1. I remember someone mentioning on Facebook that other versions took the virgin birth out. I challenged them to tell me which ones. A quick search on Biblegateway.com showed numerous versions mentioning a virgin birth. Apparently, a newer version of Bible used by the Catholic church changed “virgin” to “young woman” in Matthew. That’s the only case I could find.

      2. I’m glad we call women young women in our culture because calling people by a preffix or suffix that tells the world whether they have had sex or not yet seems more than creepy to me. They never would mention a man/boys sexual status… 😈

        1. It really refers to whether or not they are married more than whether or not they have had sexual intercourse. Still, why tell everybody that about women, but not men?

      3. The Hebrew word used there could mean either “young woman” or “virgin” just as the German “Jungfrau” is a typical German portmanteau – it means “virgin”, and is composed of “young-woman”. It’s clear in Luke’s gospel that Mary was in fact virgin, and Matthew makes the reference in the prophets into a credible etymology.

    1. The controversy isn’t about Mary, per se, but about Isaiah’s prophecy in Is 7:14. Instead of translating the Hebrew word “Almah” into English as “virgin,” the Revised Standard Version translated it as “young woman.”

      Almah is tricky, and either translation can be defended. Recently I read some fairly careful/technical analysis which lent support to the traditional “virgin” rendering, so I’d say at this moment the KJV is more likely to be correct with regards to Isaiah’s prophecy. But Fundagelicals are used to accusing the RSV of being a substandard product of “liberal” theology, so it follows naturally for them that the doctrine of the Virgin Birth of Christ is what’s _really_ being attacked by it.

      1. Ok, yes. I’ve heard the “young woman” versus “virgin” argument before. The point however doesn’t change. Even changing it to young woman does not mean that she wasn’t a virgin. When you read any version as a whole it clearly points to the virgin birth. Anyone who denies the virgin birth steps outside the boundaries of general orthodoxy, but I know of no Bible that denies the virgin birth or the blood of Jesus or anything else they scream about.

      2. I think you have it right, Florida Gary: The original texts can be read either way.
        There’s no room for subtlety or ambiguity in the Fundmentalis world-view.

        1. It struck me as funny that the Christmas sermon at my IFB church was essentially an hour-long discourse on technical virginity. 😯

  12. Wow. I somehow managed to dodge that Fundy bullet! After hearing this for the first time, I’m caught between 😯 & 😆

    Where do you find these gems, Darrell? 😈

  13. Isn’t it a logical fallacy, to blame on an evil entity something you disagree with and then to assume something is divinely sanctioned because you do agree with it? Oh wait… logic itself is worldly. 🙄

  14. *wishes there were a brief salutation signifying “Long-time lurker, first-time poster, frequent surreptitious archive-reader”* This is a non sequitur: I’m just going to jump in.

    I was raised ultra-fundy but secretly stopped identifying that way sometime in (state) college. At 23, due to a litany of odd circumstances, I’m stuck attending a large IFB church closely associated with BJU (those of you endemic to Greenville may know it as “the hat church”). 😕 I’m still sorting out exactly what I do and don’t believe — I don’t want to end up with a reactionary philosophy (I hate all things fundy, ergo I will go out and do everything the exact opposite way), but I have a feeling I’m headed somewhere significantly more grace-based. I can hear the future collapsing of support networks. 😛

    Anyway, you seem like a suspiciously sane, functional group of people, and I want to join the conversation here. Soli Deo Gloria.

    1. The Baptist hat church or the Presbyterian hat church? 😆 I used to attend the Presby one with my ex-boyfriend and was a member at the Baptist one for a year or so.

      1. The Baptist one 🙂 They’ve just built a new addition to make room for even MORE hats.

        1. *this is meant to be @Paul* I always find myself sitting behind these ladies and wondering, if you pulled the pearl pins out of their round berets, would their heads explode?

  15. I don’t care what the author’s intentions are — I’m going to continue to see this as sarcasm that just needs a little help with a couple of the lyrics.

    (On a related note: I found a pagan-ish version of “Old Time Religion” that suggests we pray to Aphrodite who wears that see-through nightie, pray with those old Druids who drink fermented fluids, and so forth. Pretty darn funny, especially when the audience tries to sing along with the first verse and realizes it’s not what they expected.)

  16. I am always bemused by people who insist the Bible is the inerrant word of God and only the old versions are acceptable. Personally I prefer the KJV but I have no problem with other editions.
    In 1627 during the reign of Charles I a version was published which stated ‘thou shalt commit adultery’. If the misprint hadn’t been caught would these people be demanding that good Christians sleep around? The Bible is the product of 2000+ years of human involvement. There has to be omissions, errors, mistranslations.

  17. Two questions if anyone has answers:
    1. Are there really cuss words in Good news for moderns man?
    2. When was this made that the NIV is considered brand new?

    I’m a comparative study bible kind of guy myself. NIV, KJV, NASB and I preach from an ESV I got as a gift from my wife when I entered the pastorate.

    1. Anything newer that the 1611 KJV that Jesus himself left for us 2000 years ago, is a newer version, and anything in the 20th or 21st centuries are brand new.

  18. It is said that when the Revised Standard Version was published, the Texas school board (at that time the largest school book purchaser in the world) was considering replacing it’s old worn out class room bibles. Remember when each day of public school began with a bible reading and the lord’s prayer? When someone suggested they use the new RSV (all the obfuscation of KJV with only a fraction of the beauty) the arguments pro and con raged for hours. The argument was finally settled when the president of the largest most powerful school board in the nation got up and proclaimed “If King James English was good enough for my lord and savior Jesus Christ, it’s good enough for me!” 😯

    1. BTW, stories like this are seen as early as the mid-1880s, so I doubt the truth of this. It’s frwequently (mis|re) quoted to demonstrate the ignorance of someone, such as Ma Ferguson.

    2. This version of the story is definitely a fabrication. My parents and aunts and uncles went to public schools in Texas in the 1930s and 40s and there were no Bibles in the classrooms (unless the teacher provided one with his/her own funds and on his/her own intiative), and there were no daily prayers in classrooms.

  19. My youth group sang this song from time to time on the bus going out soulwinning or to some other church function. 😥

  20. To put it as plainly as possible…. None of them are even worth the paper they’re printed on……..! And that’s the truth! 😆

  21. Cuss words in the Bible… 🙄 Reminds me of the time that the great Dr. Samuel Johnson had written a dictionary of the English language, and was later approached by some very prim-and-proper English ladies who wanted to commend him for leaving out all those “dirty, improper words!”
    Dr. Johnson’s reply: “Ah, so you were looking for them!” :mrgreen:

  22. a recovering fundie myself( having since joined an SBC congregation) or “gone over to the dark side” I recognize many of the statements onm the Stuff Fundies like page and thery are spot on!!

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