FWOTW: Whiter Than Snow Appliances

Do you have a small business you’d like to promote online? Are you a fundamentalist? Why pay for two separate websites when you can promote both things on the same page?? Witness while you work!

It’s a great idea if the only people you ever hope to have as customers are your fellow fundies.

169 thoughts on “FWOTW: Whiter Than Snow Appliances”

    1. “Even attacking each other in their perverted relationships”

      Are they talking about gays or fundamentalists?

      I really, really think it’s a bad idea to have a page for your business that attacks a significant portion of the consumer base on its very first page.

      1. They also rant about paypal and ebay’s policies on their website. I’m sure every business owner gripes about the companies they are forced to do business with, but not to their customers. It’s just unprofessional.

      2. Oh, they also name and rant about one of their past customers!

        Oh, I’d love to spend all my money at this store! Too bad I’m not paying for a refrigerator to be shipped to Australia, really πŸ˜‰

      3. Wait – this is their NEW website? (I’m a bit annoyed I can’t write NEW with the fancy colour-changing explosion behind it, really!)

        What did the old one look like?? 😯

      4. “Therefore, we manage our business the old fashion way: giving the customer quality service, reliable products, affordable prices, yet without omitting the customers’ most important expectation -integrity.”

        Ok, that was direcly copy/pasted from their site. BUT THEY RANT ABOUT TWO COMPANIES THEY DO BUSINESS WITH AND A CUSTOMER! Publicly! On their business website!!!!

        (Sorry about the caps. I’m not yelling, just a bit excited. I promise!!!)

        1. No apparently it was someone who complained that the bulb in the microwave was broken, and the company said that it was broken after the customer used it, and then the customer said that there were parts left out that should have been sent, and they said that they would send the missing parts, and the customer ended up getting a refund and giving them a bad rating and they’re really mad about it all and blame ebay’s refunds policy.

          I think.

        2. So much to snark about… but the that annoys me most is actually “old fashion”. Since when was this English?

        3. They didn’t say being dignified or courteous was part of their business philoisophy.

          By the way, “old fasion” is good English as a noun phrase, but not as an adjectival phrase.
          Correct: The old fashion was to wear corsets with whalebone stays, but brassieres are more popular now.
          Incorrect: * We do business the old fashion way: We never give a refund without complaining about it on our web site. *

        4. ‘Old fashion’ seems to be a synonym for old-fashioned among a certain subset of fundamentalists. If you read their literature you will see it used quite often. ‘Old fashion altar’ etc. I grew up in this crowd and this used to bug me since it is not correct English.

        5. 1. Nice Gravatar!
          2. This is just so freaking weird. I don’t get weirded out easily, but appliances and fundamentalism? Weird.

      1. It’s real. The place is real. I just drove past it a couple weeks ago on a parental visit (it’s not far from where I grew up). I just thought it was an oddly-named shop, owned by some quirky fellow. Little did I know…

    1. I think they must be related, or at least aware of each other. There are several other graphics that both sites share. (Or, more likely, the church site is one the appliance store owner visits regularly, and decided to pilfer a few graphics.)

      The Victory Baptist Church site looks like it was made with a early version of MS Front Page. I know it’s using an early MS template. Gotta love the dancing baloney.

  1. Um, yeah.

    I’ve had this guy work on our appliances. We went for months with used parts in our stack washer/dryer in the hopes of “saving us money” when ordering the new part at first would have saved us $$$ by cutting back his visit charges. πŸ˜•

  2. I know the concept of a “Christian” business has been discussed here and on the forum. If someone wants to label themselves a Christian business, all fine and good. But one look at this website does not conjure up images of a Christian business. More like hate filled propaganda. I mean right on the front page a rant about the evil gays and their hijacking of the rainbow? 😯 OK, but all I wanted to know was what size washers they have.

    1. Agreed. I fail to see how bad-mouthing and calling names could be anything CLOSE to Christ-like business practices.

      It really irritates me when nasty people blame their nastiness on a loving God. πŸ‘Ώ It discredits the rest of us who call ourselves Christ-followers.

  3. This is what comes of not having a proper doctrine of vocation. That and not having the slightest idea what Jesus meant when he said “let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven” (quoted from memory, which means that a goodly portion of the Book of Common Prayer comes in, if you hear a text every week, you remember it!).

  4. “Aside from our Business Ventures, we endeaver [sic] to be actively promoting the Old-Fashion Gospel of Jesus Christ, as espoused by the King James Bible and Independent/Southern Baptist believers.” Ya think?

      1. Yes, PW, where did you get the idea that the Gospel is about something other than the holiness of the King James Version and the foulness of any other version (including the original texts, we presume)? πŸ˜‰

  5. Fundies are a law unto themselves. If you don’t say/write something specific about salvation and designed to bring sinners to their knees in repentance, you have failed and will:

    1. be put on the shelf
    2. be required to push those to whom you did not give the gospel off the cliff into the Lake of Fire where the worm does not die.

      1. Bad for business… How the hell does he expect customers to pull the page on their dial-up connections?
        “OK, I refreshed one more time, let’s see if the page loads this time. It’s coming – oh, it’s coming! Wait for it…. #&@$ connection dropped out again. Man, I shouldn’t have said that, now Jesus will never let me get on the website! Well, trying again. Dial it in again… Wait for connection… Now try to reload the page…”

  6. 😯 How could anyone possibly get the idea fundamentalists are a cult? I mean, really, it’s a shame our liberal society mocks or maligns those simply trying to be salt & light. I suppose it’s to be expected that true witnesses for Jeeezus will be “persecuted.” 😈

    1. Well, I quickly looked through the comments on the page so far, and didn’t see any mentions of the word ‘cult’ besides yours, so I figured this was a Poe.

      So yes, I understand perfectly that a person who looked at that website with no prior knowledge of fundamentalism would quite possibly come to the conclusion that the site owner was in some strange cult.

    2. Kreine is being sarcastic.

      The IFB gets VERY upset if you refer to them as a cult (and I personally am uncomfortable with that designation even though I’ve been the recipient of a very cult-like shunning myself), but when people produce websites like this, they sure are sending off weirdness vibes.

  7. The state I live in actually used to have a statewide Christian phone book that listed churches, organizations and pastors, with a fairly extensive section of Yellow Pages full of ads for businesses run by evangelical and fundy Christians. It may still be published; I haven’t seen it in several years.

    1. See, I don’t have a problem with that. The people who go to such a directory would be the people who want to do business with a christian company. As long as there aren’t any sermons or guilt tactics going on about how people should only use christian businesses, that is.

        1. πŸ™„ And when you have the gall to call the on it the use the “we’re xtain, you should love/give us $” routine and make you jump through all kinds of hoops to get the problem fixed. I rather just deal with a non-fishy company that I know will get it done right the first time.

        2. This has actually been my experience with most, if not all businesses that advertise they are Christian. I find that all is fine and dandy until I have a problem and need some customer service. No matter how polite I am or how nicely I ask, it always seems to degenerate into how evil I am or how I will inevitably end up in hell…and that was when I *was* a Christian.

          Now, I’ve actually considered picking up one of those directories to have on hand so I know who not to do business with.

    2. I was in a church that handed those out once. I was glad to have it so I knew which businesses to avoid. It’s sad but true, everytime I have used a business that advertises they are “christian”, I end up regretting it. πŸ™

    1. Correction: KJB! 😈 Notice the KJO crowd always refers to the “KJB” and then they refer to the New American Standard Bible (the translation’s official name) as “NASV.” In their mind there is only one “Bible” πŸ™„

  8. Check out the news page. I would say it is safe to assume that he does not like Obama, liberals or foreigners. Here is a quote from one of the articles:

    ..but liberals are like the way Michael Savage describes them: “Liberalism is a mental
    disorder.” And like the old Indian Chief said: “White man speaks out both sides of
    mouth.” We have to say that this also applies to the half white man.

    1. Warning: DON’T look at the news page.
      It’s got a wall-to-wall flash animation of flags that will blind you in about 5 seconds.

      I’m going to go lie down in the dark until my retinas heal. 😯 πŸ˜₯ 😯

    2. “And like the old Indian Chief said: β€œWhite man speaks out both sides of
      mouth.” We have to say that this also applies to the half white man.”

      Said the white man… 😈

  9. What happens if I want an “off-white” refrigerator? Is this even possible? What about stainless steel or (gasp) a black appliance? Can you get one? πŸ˜€

    There needs to be a guide:
    Stainless steel=slippery slope

    **My kitchen indicates that I am on a “slippery slope” but my laundry area says that I am “whiter than snow”. Now what ❓

    1. parts of my home would be labled compromiser, slippery slope, and heathen.

      For the record, the coffee maker is heathen. Although imbibing the sacred dark intoxicating liquid is a perfectly acceptable vice in fundyland.

  10. Hey, it’s only 13 miles from my house!! I am excited to know about a good Republican, KJV worshiping, slightly racist and homophobic Christian businessman to buy my next appliance from. You know, since the people at Sears and Lowe’s are probably all Obama supporters anyway…you can’t get any worse than being an Obama supporter.

    1. I work at Sears and I must say that with the current people fighting over the bid for a republican nomination, that I’m an Obama supporter. If they come up with a better candidate (can’t be that hard) I might change my mind. But I do have to say that our Sears is probably split half/half over supporting Obama and there are several other Christians there besides me. But we probably aren’t good enough because none of us are fundamentalists. :p Oh and the drummer at our church works at Lowe’s so yeah I suppose Lowe’s is wicked too. Haha.

      1. Leaving, you make me want to shop at Sears– something I haven’t done in years.
        (Not because I hate Sears, but because Sears pulled out of my inner-city neighborhood, so the nearest one is now a long way away.)

      2. Thankfully there’s people like me to counter-balance your vote. I’d vote for a random squirrel, vagrant, pencil, or God-forbid, Rick Perry over Obama.

        1. Not Perry. Trust me on this one. We’ve been putting up with that jackass for 20 years here in Texas.

          A squirrel or a vagrant, OK, but not Perry. Please.

        2. There are three reasons why I won’t vote for Perry:

          1. His track record as a governor.
          2. His stance on issues important to me.
          3. Uhh…..give me a second here and I’ll think of it…………….Uhhhh…………………………
          somebody help me out here………….
          Bystander: Executions?
          Yes! That’s it! No wait that isn’t it …………………..Uhhhhhhhhhhhh…………………….I know there are three reasons why I don’t like this guy but I can’t seem to remember the third one. I do know there are three reasons though. Gimme a minute…………

    2. Right now, I’m not sure how I’ll go next year. I’m not exactly an Obama fan (IMO, he’s spent too much time dragging his feet and not standing up to the GOP) but if the best the republicans have to offer are a bunch of RRR pandering ignorants…
      {sigh} this election looks like it’s not so much who’s best for the job as who’ll #*@& up tyhe country the least over the next term. In other words, SOS. πŸ‘Ώ

      1. “Not standing up to the GOP” is one of those interesting things that people say that I can’t see the reasoning behind. Obama’s 1st two years his party had a lock on everything and they ran roughshod over public opinion. Since the last election he’s had 1/2 of Congress and he’s doing stuff by fiat executive order now. I’m not sure who it is that is standing in his way of anything.

        1. Just read this quote today so had to come back here to update:
          “Getting something done is proving to be a monumental task. This may be news to the supposed constitutional scholar who is now our president, but if the political process seems inconvenient to the implementation of his agenda, that is not a flaw in the system. It was designed that way.”

  11. I thought this seller comment was awesome!

    “6.) Product worked great, did not need religious propaganda sent with it though [Buyer: arceneaux69( 0 ) May-17-06.] WTSA’s note: It’s Attitudes like his, not the LORD God, that sends people to HELL!!” :mrgreen:

    1. Or….this one:

      “11.) the transaction was flawless. I could have done without the religious propaganda [Buyer: mike7066( 2 ) Oct-21-05.] WTSA’s note: This man’s prideful attitude in rejecting the Holy Ghost’s offer to him of Jesus Christ’s forgiveness of sins will send him to HELL!! (Not the LORD God, for he wills that none should perish in the lake of fire!) If he, or you,dies without hearing and/or heeding to God’s words then HELL will be your eternal home!! PleaseRead: John 3:18, 5:24 & Acts 10:44 in a King James Bible.t ”

      He sees a need to comment on his comments section. πŸ™„

    2. Way to encourage repeat business! After people buy things from you, cheerfully condemn them to hell (correction: to HELL!). That’ll keep ’em coming back.

      1. And I’m sure they will be telling all their friends about this place as well. πŸ™„
        Sounds like he only wants “Christian” Customers to patronize his “Christian” business.

    3. If I lived in that neck of the woods I’d never patronize that guy’s site. After reading some of the comments he made about people who did buy from him, why would I want to be the next one he was criticizing? I doubt anyone will buy from him twice. If all he wants business from are fundys he won’t be in business very long. πŸ˜•

    1. Only if they lose their circle of friends. Example: My mom is white, conservative, and thought rock music was of the devil. Then all her white friends moved away and black people moved in. She now attends a black church with black gospel music and has largely black friends. She no longer things rock music is bad.

    1. But with no harp music! πŸ˜• My computer doesn’t have an external Windows Media Player. I am no IT expert, but I also do not design Web sites. Non-embedded music files are so 2001, which means that page is a cutting-edge portion of the site.

  12. I have no words. The Christian businesses here have a cross on the sign and you’ll get a “God bless you” if you do business with them. Then again, I live in one of the heathen blue states, so maybe we aren’t Christian enough. πŸ˜‰

    1. It looks like a picture from a church production of some sort of play. Probably the reason the ones above look fake is because of make up and wigs. But yeah, I have never seen them do a fundy version of Jesus at one of these things with long hair. Sometimes even the beard is a no-go. In the church I grew up in they usually didn’t even have Jesus in them. I remember if ever they portrayed God it was just a voice over the mike and a really bright light shined into the audience’s eyes. Ahhh. I miss those things.

    2. There are also what look to be female angels. I heard growing up in our little corner of fundydom that angels were all men. I can’t remember where in the Authorized Version this was found, but I do know we were taught this amazing fact.

    1. Then he’d better hope the angels in heaven are willing to come down and buy a washer from him. They have to find some way to keep those angel clothes glistening white. πŸ™„

  13. That was just painful. He felt the need to offer nasty commentary on comments left? Really? How does this guy stay in business? I think his KJV, pardon me KJB, must be missing the verses about loving one’s neighbors.

  14. I found this on his site:

    Take heed to Jesus’ words found in Mark 16:16 – KJV “He that believeth [on Jesus Christ for salvation] and is baptized shall be saved [from the sentence of hell-fire]; but he [put your name here] that believeth not shall be damned [have your sentence of hell-fire carried out by God Almightly at the Great White Throne judgment].

    Ummmmm, if the KJB is the only acceptable Bible, why is he adding words to it?

  15. There is a little box on the left-hand side showing Bible verses in the KJV, NIV, and NASB, “proving” words that other versions leave out.

    One example he used was Matthew 9:13 that “to repentance” was left out of the newer versions. However, if you look at a parallel passage in Luke 5:32 the word “repentance” IS there. Obviously this is not a conspiracy by modernists to water down the Word of God, otherwise “repentance” wouldn’t have been included in ANY of the Gospels.

    1. I notice that most of the KJV-Onlyists are monolingual people who have no idea how translations work. You can’t evaluate a translation by looking at one verse. At the very least, you should be comparing whole chapters, and compare them with the original (Hebrew/Greek/Aramaic) texts, not just with each other.

      1. But why look at the originials when you have the infallable, perfect KJB to read instead? It’s SUPERIOR to the original!

        (I’ve actually heard this at my KJVO Fundy church, unfortunately…) πŸ™„

  16. “It’s too bad that Bob Jones III has come out in support of Mitt Romney?! ….. wtsa29673.com’s comment: Where’s the “Separation”?
    Well, maybe we’ll give the Jones’s the benefit of the doubt… this may be a clever effort to stagnate Romney’s campaign successes. Remember when BJU came out supporting the George W. Bush presidential campaign? ….Mr. Bush’s numbers in the polls went down.”

    Okay. I have to admit I chuckled at this.

    1. Good catch!

      The only REASON God needs to bless us is His own character. He is loving and gracious and merciful.

      I’d rather see something like “God bless America, and may we live lives honoring to Him.” Our obedience is in RESPONSE to His love, not to convince God to bless us.

      1. If God’s blessing is something we have to earn, America is in deep doo-doo. I could go into much more detail, but I won’t.

        As Neil Cassady once wrote, “Grace beats karma.”

    2. I’m Canadian, so maybe I’m not allowed to comment on this…

      Fundyism in a nutshell:

      β€œβ€œGod bless America”
      (but let’s give God reason to do so.)”

      “”God bless America”
      (but let’s give God reason to need to.)”

  17. But he can stand before the LOORRDD with his head held high for witnessing his faith. Can’t you see he is following the great commission? Go and baptize, well baptize the clothes that is. Wonder if he has ever heard, “preach the gospel at all times, if necessary use words.” Oh wait, that was said by that pagan popish following sissy! ((St. Francis of Assissi).

    My grandma, a fundy Baptist preachers wife told me St. Francis was a sissy.

  18. Yes!!!

    On the sidebar, I can see that this is my GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY to donate $7 to the for-profit company Whiter Than Snow Appliances! Or, I could even increase my donation in incriments of $7. Because that makes lots of sense to me!

    They’ve had people from countries that are “Communists and Islamic” visit their website to get their appliances repaired. Or perhaps just to admire the fine web desine. W-O-W!

    But…wait…there’s no link to donate. So disappointed.

    Guess I’ll just have to donate my money to my church or an actual charity.


  19. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😯 πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

  20. I wonder if I could get a 10% discount if I prove that I tithe to my local church. After all, it doesn’t make sense for me to pay with money that has already been tithed only to have him be required to tithe off that money too. That sounds like a multi level marketing scheme to me.

  21. I bought my first car from a “Christian” car dealer. Being young and naive I went there specifically because I knew I didn’t know much about cars and needed someone I could trust. The car I bought was a lemon, even though he told me it worked perfectly. I called the dealer and told him, he rebuffed me and said if I was really a Christian I would not be so materialistic. In the first six months of owning the car, I replaced the alternator, radiator, breaks, and shocks. The windows did not roll down ever after the first week I owned it either.

    Recently I had to buy a car, and I went to a used lot and found that the general manager was a devout Muslim. I bought a used car from him and when I picked it up he told me that he realized the rear wiper was broken (something I had not noticed) but that he had already ordered a new one from Toyota and he’d call me when it was in. I noticed a few other minor problems with the car, including a vapor leak in the evap system and a disconnected A/C vent. When I went to get the wiper fixed I told him and he those things fixed free of charge. As I told him about my ministry work, he embraced me and told me how hard it was to be a man of faith these days (even though we were of different religions) and talked about how he tries to run his business to the commands of Allah even when it hurts his bottom line. Long story short, his adolescent kids were studying the Koran and he sent both of them to me to learn about Christianity and Judaism so that as they affirmed their own Muslim faith, they would have an accurate view of other religions as well. To this day I am impressed.

  22. Did you see the little message he just posted for us?

    “Fundies, welcome to WTSA! Gotta say your comments have been entertaining.

    Have fun and contact us when your appliance(s) needs a healing or replaced. – wtsa”

    Funny that he called us “Fundies.”

    1. If my appliance needs a healing, will he bring oil and lay hands on it? Or perhaps ask it to reveal the hidden sin of all washers: where the one sock goes.

  23. As a business owner who deals with some of these manufacturers, I can tell you that they only have used appliances; probably because their website breaks every possible agreement necessary to be a dealer of new products.

  24. I heard this place advertised on the radio a few years back when in the Greenville area visiting relatives and my wife and I just cracked up.

    It sounds like a SNL parody

  25. I was impressed with the migraine inducing American flags on the News page. I really wish extreme fundies would leave the flag alone. If you really want to mess with them, ask them where in Scripture the USA is as savior of the world, and mention that since the US isn’t in any of the prophecies, then it might be God’s will for us to decline as a world power.

    Has anyone found the “unofficial” site? It seems reasonable that there would be one, since this is the official site.

  26. I don’t think anyone’s mentioned the pitch for “Rachel’s Forever Friend” yet. Because when I think of helping my kids cope with the grieving process, I automatically think of an uber-fundy used appliance salesman. ❓

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